If You Stay
Chapter Twenty-Two
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Pax
I am falling, falling, falling.
It is black and dark and I can't see, I can't think, I can't feel. But that's how I like it. If I can't feel, then nothing hurts. So I keep it that way.
If I wake, I drink myself back to sleep with a Xanax chaser. It isn't long before I'm in the black again, drifting pointlessly along, sleeping without nightmares.
Only blackness.
I sigh. This is where I belong, where the dark is timeless.
Painless.
The light is painful. The light is where I see her face and know how I failed her.
I'll stay far away from the light.
Forever.
It isn't worth it.
I start to close my eyes but realize that they are already closed, so I smile.
This is where I belong.
I am falling, falling, falling.
It is black and dark and I can't see, I can't think, I can't feel. But that's how I like it. If I can't feel, then nothing hurts. So I keep it that way.
If I wake, I drink myself back to sleep with a Xanax chaser. It isn't long before I'm in the black again, drifting pointlessly along, sleeping without nightmares.
Only blackness.
I sigh. This is where I belong, where the dark is timeless.
Painless.
The light is painful. The light is where I see her face and know how I failed her.
I'll stay far away from the light.
Forever.
It isn't worth it.
I start to close my eyes but realize that they are already closed, so I smile.
This is where I belong.
