The words sent a shock through my system. “I-I don’t know. He sent a guy over.”
She nodded, fully aware and undisturbed by this news. “Well, then, we might as well just assume so.” With a heavy exhale, she stood up and wrapped her arms around me. “As long as you’re safe, that’s all that matters.” She pulled back and gave me a light kiss on the forehead. “I love you, Sara. Get some rest, okay?”
Too speechless to open my mouth, I just nodded.
Seventeen
After Lucinda left me, I had a long, hot shower. I sat on the tiled ground, letting the water flow endlessly down my body. You’d have thought I’d boycott water altogether after tonight, but having a shower was different. It was a time of reflection for me. I looked fresh when I stepped out even though it was the last thing I felt.
I changed back into my bum clothes, grabbed my phone and crawled into bed, setting it down on the night table. My lids ached from exhaustion, and for once I didn’t have to force myself to stop thinking a million different things before I drifted off into sleep.
*****
The sound of the door creaking open woke me up. I hated being such a light sleeper. I looked at the large figure in the doorway, and blinked again to clear the fogginess. With the light streaming through the doorway, I watched Jaxon set my suitcase down beside my bed. Still inside, he shut the door and walked to the bathroom paying absolutely no attention to me.
He disappeared inside and then I heard the shower start. I rubbed my eyes, waking myself up as I lay there for five minutes wondering why the hell he was showering in what was meant to be my room for the night. The shower went off and a moment later the door swung open. He walked out naked and soaking wet and dived straight into my bed. I jumped to the side, caught off guard by his close proximity.
“What are you doing?” I asked in an unusually high voice.
“Going to sleep,” he answered as he sorted through the covers, yanking some off of me so that he had an equal share of them.
“But… But I’m sleeping in here.”
“You sure are.”
I propped myself up on my elbows and looked over at him. My eyes adjusted in the darkness and I was able to see his face well. His eyes were closed, and he was wriggling a bit, trying to find a comfortable position against the pillow, resting finally with his back against the mattress and an arm over his face.
“Why are you in here?”
“I’m trying to sleep, Sara. It’s late.”
“I’m aware that you’re trying to sleep, Jaxon, but why are you sleeping here with me?”
“I have a preference for this room. It…soothes me.” I didn’t have to see the grin on his face to know what a crock of bullshit that was.
“Fine. I’ll go sleep somewhere else.” I barely made it an inch before his hand gripped my arm tightly. I looked over at him, and his eyes were opened and trained on me. There was a look that even in the darkness made my heart beat faster. Where did he learn to be so intimidating?
“No,” he said firmly, “you’ll stay here.”
I didn’t reply. I looked away from him, removed – quite forcefully –my arm from his grip and turned to my side, back against him. I grabbed the cell phone from the night table and looked at the time. I’d been asleep for two hours and it felt like two seconds, and though I was still tired, I was extremely aware of his presence and it filled me with a mixture of feelings: excited at being so close to him; confused as to why he wanted to sleep with me literally; angry that he could be so demanding and that I so willingly obeyed; and fear because there were new parts of him that were dark and unpredictable.
I could hear his steady breathing, and every slight movement he made on the bed. I couldn’t sleep now that he was so close. This is what I dreamed about, wasn’t it? Only reality was a whole other thing, high lighting what a naïve person I’d been to think that the world had somehow frozen in Jaxon’s life and that he hadn’t changed. I mean, I had changed completely. Why didn’t I think he might have, too?
Lucinda’s words chilled me to the bone. How could she be so casual about it, asking me if her son had killed a man? I mean… had he killed others? Was I sleeping next to a murderer? Fuck, this was too freaky for me. I wished I was in the safety of Winthrop, in bed with Daniel instead, only caring about the food I’d eat the next day and what flick I wanted to see at the movies. Those used to be my pathetically simple dilemmas in life.
Exhaling unsteadily, I opened my mouth and whispered, “Did you kill him?” I regretted saying it right away, mainly for what it would mean if he answered yes.
I felt a little movement from his side, and I imagined him looking at me. Or maybe he was glaring, who the hell knew with this Jaxon nowadays? The glare seemed to be his look.
“Why do you want to know?” His voice was surprisingly soft.
“Because I want to know.”
“What would you get out of knowing, Sara?”
“I’d understand a little bit about you.” How badly you’ve changed. What you’re capable of. But I didn’t say those things out loud.
This made him quiet for a moment. Then he said, “What would you have done to a guy who was about to rape and murder a defenceless person?”
“Call the cops.”
He chuckled louder this time. “You don’t know the good ol’ law system in Gosnells. Cops are as crooked as the criminals on the street, babe.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Yeah, okay…babe.”
I turned my body around to face him. Yep, he was wearing his glare, and I half expected him to shoot venom at me out of those sexy ass lips of his.
“Did you kill him?” I asked again, determined to get the answer out of him. I propped myself up on one elbow and stared down at him.
He looked at me, half amused, half annoyed. “No, I didn’t.”
Not wanting to be taken for an idiot, I said, “I’m sure you didn’t, but did you have him killed?”
He sighed and shook his head. “No.”
I studied him for a long moment, waiting for something to slip in that face of his. If he was lying, he didn’t show it.
“Are you a thug?”
He burst out laughing, but I didn’t allow that to make me feel silly. I remained serious, waiting patiently for him to calm down and answer the question.
“No,” he finally said. “I’m not a thug.”
“What do you do?”
“I own a few businesses around town.”
“What businesses?”
“Why don’t I show you tomorrow?”
I shook my head. “I’m busy tomorrow. I’ve got my dead mother’s house to sort through, and then I’ve got to go back home. So why not just tell me what businesses you own?”
He twisted his lips, and propped himself up on his elbow too so that we were face to face barely a foot away. “So you won’t let me show you while you’re here?”
“No.”
“Then I guess you’ll never know.”
Irritated by his cockiness, I turned away and settled myself back down on the far end of the mattress. I heard him chuckle to himself.
I hated how smug he was being, but I wanted to talk to him more. I was addicted to his voice, and breathing the same air as him, and feeling the pool of warmth he was helping to create beneath the covers – I couldn’t focus on sleep. I felt that ache again, an ache that could only be satiated by his touch. I tightly squeezed my thighs together, not wanting to get too carried away by my thoughts. Yet when I stopped thinking, the images flashed before my eyes; his tattoo, the broad shoulders near my face straining when he thrust into me, the sounds he made, the painful kisses he gave me, and the fullness I felt of him inside of me. Fuck, I hate this.
I was grouchy now that I was horny as hell and couldn’t do a thing about it. No way in hell would I initiate anything again, and if he initiated it? Well, tough for him. I wasn’t going to be used like a tissue and discarded the second the show was over. I felt him repeatedly move around behind me, as if he too was restless. Yet neither of us said another word, nor made any sneaky movements that had us drawing anywhere nearer to one another in search of that satiation.
I closed my eyes and thought of an endless clear blue sky, imagined cool air hitting my face, and the peace and quiet of being up high and away from the noise of the world below. I tried to think of the tranquillity I’d feel in the company of myself, of being happy and at peace… And then, just like that, I thought of sex with Jaxon, and that peaceful, tranquil sky morphed into seedy images of being fucked by him.
This was going to be a long night.
*****
I was thankful that sleep won over sometime later. I fell into a deep, content slumber, and not once did I stir. I was pleasantly surprised that my body alarm didn’t wake me up at the dreaded hour of four in the morning for once. Not even the sunlight of morning bothered me like it normally did. I was too content, comfortable and warm. Too warm, actually.
I opened one eye, and shut it. Then I opened it again, and shut it again. Where am I? Oh, yes, the guest room in Lucinda’s house. I opened my eye, this time a little more alert than before and noticed straight away that I was no longer on the edge of the bed where I had fallen asleep. I was actually right in the centre. What the fuck is pressing into my back?
I was wide awake now, and completely mindful of Jaxon’s body wrapped around me. Holy shit, we were spooning, and not just that, but I had a leg between both of his. Fuck, did I initiate this too sometime in the night?
His arm was wrapped firmly around my waist, securely fitting my back against his upper body. The heat radiating out of his naked body had been the source of my comfort all night long. But even I couldn’t deny it wasn’t just the warmth that comforted me. It was the feel of him so perfectly fitted behind me; like we were two pieces to a puzzle. I sighed, contentedly. I missed this. Oh, God, did I miss this!
Closing my eyes, I relaxed my body and dozed for a little while longer, basking in the feel of perfection and happiness that I knew would be short lasting. He would wake up soon, and what would stern, Mr Glare make of our position? I decided to wait and find out.
It wasn’t long after I heard a wakeful inhale, and felt the stretching of his legs. His chin, which was at the top of my head, moved back and forth, and then he sighed. His hold around my waist loosened for a short moment, and then tightened even more than before, bringing me even closer into him. His head moved and I felt a breath sweep across my ear. Was he checking if I was awake? I kept my eyes shut just in case.
His arm loosened entirely now and his hand roamed beneath my sweater and rested gently onto my stomach. He traced circles around my belly button, and the sensitive, ticklish sensations had me flinch involuntarily.
“Wake up, Sara,” he whispered. His hand travelled up and rested at my ribs. “Up, Sara.” When I didn’t move, he tickled me.
I recoiled and opened my eyes, immediately grabbing at his hand. “What are you doing?” I snapped in irritation.
“You wouldn’t wake up.”
“So you tickle me?”
He chuckled.
“That was evil, Jaxon Barlow.” I tried removing his hand, but he refused to budge and kept it resting against my ribcage. “Tickle me again and I’ll kill you.”
“You’ll kill me?”
“Yeah, you’re not the only one with creepy wrestler people who do your bidding.”
“And what’s your creepy wrestler man’s name?”
“My creepy wrestler man is actually not a wrestler, but has dreadlocks, and is not a man, but a woman, and her name’s Lexi.”
“No fucking way. You still talk to that chick?”
“I live with that chick.”
“Huh.”
I turned my head to glimpse at him, and was pleasantly surprised at what I saw. He had a soft expression this morning. There was no glare or anger. It was just… Jaxon.
Watching me watch him, he smirked and remarked, “You do a lot of staring.”
I openly stared at him now, just to prove that I could do what I want. I took in his short hair, blue eyes, soft mouth, wide shoulders, big chest, smooth abdomen, and right when I spotted his V line leading to his goodies, I made a smirk of my own and turned away. He was way too sexy. I needed to get away before I found myself pinned beneath him and punished again. Well, that didn’t seem like such a bad thing to wake up to. You did not just torture yourself all night in an attempt to steer clear from him only to ruin that with a good morning screw!
Disturbing my thoughts, my cell phone rang and vibrated noisily on the night table. I grabbed it and looked down. My heart jumped into my throat.
Fuck.
I cautiously sat up, wriggling completely out of Jaxon’s hold and rested my back against the headboard.
“Hey Daniel,” I answered.
“Good morning, beautiful. How’re you doing?” He sounded cheery and relaxed.
Jaxon flopped on his back and looked up at the ceiling with a blank face.
“I’m good. How about you?”
“Yeah, good. I’ve been on the road since five in the morning.”
“Why?”
“I’m just getting into Gosnells as we speak.”
I felt a lightning bolt of panic sweep through my chest. “What? You’re… here?”
“The longest three hours of my life.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“You wouldn’t have let me otherwise.”
She nodded, fully aware and undisturbed by this news. “Well, then, we might as well just assume so.” With a heavy exhale, she stood up and wrapped her arms around me. “As long as you’re safe, that’s all that matters.” She pulled back and gave me a light kiss on the forehead. “I love you, Sara. Get some rest, okay?”
Too speechless to open my mouth, I just nodded.
Seventeen
After Lucinda left me, I had a long, hot shower. I sat on the tiled ground, letting the water flow endlessly down my body. You’d have thought I’d boycott water altogether after tonight, but having a shower was different. It was a time of reflection for me. I looked fresh when I stepped out even though it was the last thing I felt.
I changed back into my bum clothes, grabbed my phone and crawled into bed, setting it down on the night table. My lids ached from exhaustion, and for once I didn’t have to force myself to stop thinking a million different things before I drifted off into sleep.
*****
The sound of the door creaking open woke me up. I hated being such a light sleeper. I looked at the large figure in the doorway, and blinked again to clear the fogginess. With the light streaming through the doorway, I watched Jaxon set my suitcase down beside my bed. Still inside, he shut the door and walked to the bathroom paying absolutely no attention to me.
He disappeared inside and then I heard the shower start. I rubbed my eyes, waking myself up as I lay there for five minutes wondering why the hell he was showering in what was meant to be my room for the night. The shower went off and a moment later the door swung open. He walked out naked and soaking wet and dived straight into my bed. I jumped to the side, caught off guard by his close proximity.
“What are you doing?” I asked in an unusually high voice.
“Going to sleep,” he answered as he sorted through the covers, yanking some off of me so that he had an equal share of them.
“But… But I’m sleeping in here.”
“You sure are.”
I propped myself up on my elbows and looked over at him. My eyes adjusted in the darkness and I was able to see his face well. His eyes were closed, and he was wriggling a bit, trying to find a comfortable position against the pillow, resting finally with his back against the mattress and an arm over his face.
“Why are you in here?”
“I’m trying to sleep, Sara. It’s late.”
“I’m aware that you’re trying to sleep, Jaxon, but why are you sleeping here with me?”
“I have a preference for this room. It…soothes me.” I didn’t have to see the grin on his face to know what a crock of bullshit that was.
“Fine. I’ll go sleep somewhere else.” I barely made it an inch before his hand gripped my arm tightly. I looked over at him, and his eyes were opened and trained on me. There was a look that even in the darkness made my heart beat faster. Where did he learn to be so intimidating?
“No,” he said firmly, “you’ll stay here.”
I didn’t reply. I looked away from him, removed – quite forcefully –my arm from his grip and turned to my side, back against him. I grabbed the cell phone from the night table and looked at the time. I’d been asleep for two hours and it felt like two seconds, and though I was still tired, I was extremely aware of his presence and it filled me with a mixture of feelings: excited at being so close to him; confused as to why he wanted to sleep with me literally; angry that he could be so demanding and that I so willingly obeyed; and fear because there were new parts of him that were dark and unpredictable.
I could hear his steady breathing, and every slight movement he made on the bed. I couldn’t sleep now that he was so close. This is what I dreamed about, wasn’t it? Only reality was a whole other thing, high lighting what a naïve person I’d been to think that the world had somehow frozen in Jaxon’s life and that he hadn’t changed. I mean, I had changed completely. Why didn’t I think he might have, too?
Lucinda’s words chilled me to the bone. How could she be so casual about it, asking me if her son had killed a man? I mean… had he killed others? Was I sleeping next to a murderer? Fuck, this was too freaky for me. I wished I was in the safety of Winthrop, in bed with Daniel instead, only caring about the food I’d eat the next day and what flick I wanted to see at the movies. Those used to be my pathetically simple dilemmas in life.
Exhaling unsteadily, I opened my mouth and whispered, “Did you kill him?” I regretted saying it right away, mainly for what it would mean if he answered yes.
I felt a little movement from his side, and I imagined him looking at me. Or maybe he was glaring, who the hell knew with this Jaxon nowadays? The glare seemed to be his look.
“Why do you want to know?” His voice was surprisingly soft.
“Because I want to know.”
“What would you get out of knowing, Sara?”
“I’d understand a little bit about you.” How badly you’ve changed. What you’re capable of. But I didn’t say those things out loud.
This made him quiet for a moment. Then he said, “What would you have done to a guy who was about to rape and murder a defenceless person?”
“Call the cops.”
He chuckled louder this time. “You don’t know the good ol’ law system in Gosnells. Cops are as crooked as the criminals on the street, babe.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Yeah, okay…babe.”
I turned my body around to face him. Yep, he was wearing his glare, and I half expected him to shoot venom at me out of those sexy ass lips of his.
“Did you kill him?” I asked again, determined to get the answer out of him. I propped myself up on one elbow and stared down at him.
He looked at me, half amused, half annoyed. “No, I didn’t.”
Not wanting to be taken for an idiot, I said, “I’m sure you didn’t, but did you have him killed?”
He sighed and shook his head. “No.”
I studied him for a long moment, waiting for something to slip in that face of his. If he was lying, he didn’t show it.
“Are you a thug?”
He burst out laughing, but I didn’t allow that to make me feel silly. I remained serious, waiting patiently for him to calm down and answer the question.
“No,” he finally said. “I’m not a thug.”
“What do you do?”
“I own a few businesses around town.”
“What businesses?”
“Why don’t I show you tomorrow?”
I shook my head. “I’m busy tomorrow. I’ve got my dead mother’s house to sort through, and then I’ve got to go back home. So why not just tell me what businesses you own?”
He twisted his lips, and propped himself up on his elbow too so that we were face to face barely a foot away. “So you won’t let me show you while you’re here?”
“No.”
“Then I guess you’ll never know.”
Irritated by his cockiness, I turned away and settled myself back down on the far end of the mattress. I heard him chuckle to himself.
I hated how smug he was being, but I wanted to talk to him more. I was addicted to his voice, and breathing the same air as him, and feeling the pool of warmth he was helping to create beneath the covers – I couldn’t focus on sleep. I felt that ache again, an ache that could only be satiated by his touch. I tightly squeezed my thighs together, not wanting to get too carried away by my thoughts. Yet when I stopped thinking, the images flashed before my eyes; his tattoo, the broad shoulders near my face straining when he thrust into me, the sounds he made, the painful kisses he gave me, and the fullness I felt of him inside of me. Fuck, I hate this.
I was grouchy now that I was horny as hell and couldn’t do a thing about it. No way in hell would I initiate anything again, and if he initiated it? Well, tough for him. I wasn’t going to be used like a tissue and discarded the second the show was over. I felt him repeatedly move around behind me, as if he too was restless. Yet neither of us said another word, nor made any sneaky movements that had us drawing anywhere nearer to one another in search of that satiation.
I closed my eyes and thought of an endless clear blue sky, imagined cool air hitting my face, and the peace and quiet of being up high and away from the noise of the world below. I tried to think of the tranquillity I’d feel in the company of myself, of being happy and at peace… And then, just like that, I thought of sex with Jaxon, and that peaceful, tranquil sky morphed into seedy images of being fucked by him.
This was going to be a long night.
*****
I was thankful that sleep won over sometime later. I fell into a deep, content slumber, and not once did I stir. I was pleasantly surprised that my body alarm didn’t wake me up at the dreaded hour of four in the morning for once. Not even the sunlight of morning bothered me like it normally did. I was too content, comfortable and warm. Too warm, actually.
I opened one eye, and shut it. Then I opened it again, and shut it again. Where am I? Oh, yes, the guest room in Lucinda’s house. I opened my eye, this time a little more alert than before and noticed straight away that I was no longer on the edge of the bed where I had fallen asleep. I was actually right in the centre. What the fuck is pressing into my back?
I was wide awake now, and completely mindful of Jaxon’s body wrapped around me. Holy shit, we were spooning, and not just that, but I had a leg between both of his. Fuck, did I initiate this too sometime in the night?
His arm was wrapped firmly around my waist, securely fitting my back against his upper body. The heat radiating out of his naked body had been the source of my comfort all night long. But even I couldn’t deny it wasn’t just the warmth that comforted me. It was the feel of him so perfectly fitted behind me; like we were two pieces to a puzzle. I sighed, contentedly. I missed this. Oh, God, did I miss this!
Closing my eyes, I relaxed my body and dozed for a little while longer, basking in the feel of perfection and happiness that I knew would be short lasting. He would wake up soon, and what would stern, Mr Glare make of our position? I decided to wait and find out.
It wasn’t long after I heard a wakeful inhale, and felt the stretching of his legs. His chin, which was at the top of my head, moved back and forth, and then he sighed. His hold around my waist loosened for a short moment, and then tightened even more than before, bringing me even closer into him. His head moved and I felt a breath sweep across my ear. Was he checking if I was awake? I kept my eyes shut just in case.
His arm loosened entirely now and his hand roamed beneath my sweater and rested gently onto my stomach. He traced circles around my belly button, and the sensitive, ticklish sensations had me flinch involuntarily.
“Wake up, Sara,” he whispered. His hand travelled up and rested at my ribs. “Up, Sara.” When I didn’t move, he tickled me.
I recoiled and opened my eyes, immediately grabbing at his hand. “What are you doing?” I snapped in irritation.
“You wouldn’t wake up.”
“So you tickle me?”
He chuckled.
“That was evil, Jaxon Barlow.” I tried removing his hand, but he refused to budge and kept it resting against my ribcage. “Tickle me again and I’ll kill you.”
“You’ll kill me?”
“Yeah, you’re not the only one with creepy wrestler people who do your bidding.”
“And what’s your creepy wrestler man’s name?”
“My creepy wrestler man is actually not a wrestler, but has dreadlocks, and is not a man, but a woman, and her name’s Lexi.”
“No fucking way. You still talk to that chick?”
“I live with that chick.”
“Huh.”
I turned my head to glimpse at him, and was pleasantly surprised at what I saw. He had a soft expression this morning. There was no glare or anger. It was just… Jaxon.
Watching me watch him, he smirked and remarked, “You do a lot of staring.”
I openly stared at him now, just to prove that I could do what I want. I took in his short hair, blue eyes, soft mouth, wide shoulders, big chest, smooth abdomen, and right when I spotted his V line leading to his goodies, I made a smirk of my own and turned away. He was way too sexy. I needed to get away before I found myself pinned beneath him and punished again. Well, that didn’t seem like such a bad thing to wake up to. You did not just torture yourself all night in an attempt to steer clear from him only to ruin that with a good morning screw!
Disturbing my thoughts, my cell phone rang and vibrated noisily on the night table. I grabbed it and looked down. My heart jumped into my throat.
Fuck.
I cautiously sat up, wriggling completely out of Jaxon’s hold and rested my back against the headboard.
“Hey Daniel,” I answered.
“Good morning, beautiful. How’re you doing?” He sounded cheery and relaxed.
Jaxon flopped on his back and looked up at the ceiling with a blank face.
“I’m good. How about you?”
“Yeah, good. I’ve been on the road since five in the morning.”
“Why?”
“I’m just getting into Gosnells as we speak.”
I felt a lightning bolt of panic sweep through my chest. “What? You’re… here?”
“The longest three hours of my life.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“You wouldn’t have let me otherwise.”
