My own intentions were to storm into the rooms and stop him from being a sleaze, which didn’t make any sense really. I told him it wasn’t my business, that he could do what he wanted with anyone he wanted, and yet I felt so irrationally angry that he’d left me with some guy so he could jump the bones of some girl he’d only just met.
That’s what you just did to him, dumbass. Oh, so was he angry with me too and did it to get back at me or something? I didn’t pay attention to the pats the guys were giving Mike as we waded our way out of the room and up the stairs to the second level. There weren’t many people on this floor, but two doors were closed and one was wide open.
“Let’s go here, babe,” Mike said, pointing to the empty room.
Ignoring him, I stormed into one of the closed rooms. There were two couples in there making out and doing other… sordid things with each other. Astoundingly, they didn’t seem to mind my intrusion.
I closed the door and burst into the other bedroom, ignoring Mike’s questioning. A girl screamed and hurried to cover herself and a guy turned and glared at me. I mumbled an apology and closed the door. Where the hell was Jaxon?
Mike grabbed my hand and began steering me into the unoccupied room.
“I have to go, Mike,” I told him, pulling back. “I need to find Jaxon.”
“What about me?” I turned around and saw Jaxon emerging from the bathroom, alone. He sounded angry, and so did the look his face when he saw Mike’s hand around mine pulling me into the room.
“Now you know where he is,” Mike said to me, stiffly. “Let’s go now.”
“Where do you think you’re taking her?” Jaxon snapped, pushing past a few people in the hallway.
“Dude, would you stop being such a fucking cock-block?” Mike retorted, gaping at Jaxon with growing animosity.
I tried to pry my hand loose, but that only made Mike’s grip tighten. Jaxon stopped in front of him, standing a few inches shorter than the big guy.
“Let her go,” he demanded. “She’s not some five cent skank that you think will spread her legs wide for your punk ass.”
Mike abruptly let go of my hand and moved closer to Jaxon so that they were face to face. The tension in the air was thick, and even the talking around us wilted off making these two the centre of attention.
“I didn’t force her up here,” Mike said, flaring his nostrils as he tried on the menacing look. He pulled the look off well, I noted.
“Looked like you were dragging her into this room–”
“Then ask her yourself. She said she wanted to come here.”
Jaxon looked over at me with questioning eyes. “Is that true, Sara?”
I felt my face heat up and shrugged. “I was looking for you.”
“Lying bitch,” Mike cursed. “You said you were fine–”
“Don’t you fucking call her that again,” Jaxon interrupted, turning back to Mike. “She doesn’t want you, so fuck off.”
Mike abruptly shoved Jaxon back, swearing wildly at him. Knowing Jaxon like the back of my hand, I dreaded what he was going to do. He never took kindly to anyone touching him.
“Touch me again and I’ll beat the shit out of you,” he warned Mike.
Mike, who was taller and bigger than Jaxon, laughed mockingly. He balled his fists up and stepped forward, ready to throw a fist at Jaxon, but Jaxon was quicker. He punched him straight in the nose, and shoved the disoriented guy back until he hit the wall harshly. Then he put an arm under Mike’s chin and a fist at his face, as if challenging him for more.
“Jaxon, just leave him alone.” I touched his back lightly, unsure of how he would react to my touching. “Let’s go home.”
He ignored me for a long moment, staring intently at Mike’s face. Mike made no move to fight him off. Then he let go, grabbed my hand tightly and stormed out of there.
Six
He drove me home in silence, never batting me an eye even when I turned my whole body to stare at his face. He just ignored me.
Heart sunken, I felt like I’d ruined the night, and didn’t I? I shouldn’t have left him sitting there on the couch, especially when he’d been so attentive to me. Why did I react so stupidly? Now things were even more awkward.
If I’d known I’d feel this way twenty four hours ago, I would have avoided Prom altogether and have gone back to our strictly friend zoned selves. Yet if things had been so damn friend zoned, why did the smallest event like tonight ignite something that felt so different? Or was I just reading into it too much?
The house was dark and quiet. Lucinda was fast asleep. I looked at the clock on the wall in the entrance room and was surprised it was almost midnight. Time sure flew. Jaxon walked past me and up the stairs without so much a glance in my direction. I hurried after him. Maybe talking to him would break the ice.
In the unlit bedroom, he opened his dresser and pulled out his briefs and shirt, and then turned to make his way out. I stood in the doorway, blocking him.
“Can we talk?” I asked quietly.
“About what, Sara?” His voice was hard as rock.
“Is that a yes?”
He sighed, frustration etched in the features of his beautiful face. “Fine.”
I shut the door and sat down on the bed, and motioned him to sit down too. When he did, I grabbed his hand and, with a deep breath, said, “I’m sorry. I was so stupid tonight. I shouldn’t have left you alone like that.”
“You let him take you to the bedroom, Sara,” he replied. The anger in his face turned into one of disbelief. “You were going to…”
“And where were you?” I rebutted, frowning at him. “I saw that you were gone, and I thought you were with Abby in one of those bedrooms. The only way Mike would let me go was telling him he could take me up there. I did it so that I could stop you.” Embarrassed, I looked away. Even in the dark, we were quite visible.
“Stop me?” He scoffed and shook his head. “You tell me I could do whatever I want with girls–”
“You could!”
“So why would you want to stop me?”
“Using your logic, why do you even care if I was going into the bedroom anyway?” It was silly and cowardice avoiding his question with my own question, but it shut him up and had him sulking for one very long minute.
“I guess I had it in my head that you were my date tonight,” he said quietly. “I thought you were mine for the day, and I got a little shitty when I saw everyone staring at you like a piece of meat they had a chance with. I was able to handle that, but not them grinding on you like that.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated. I put a hand around his shoulder and leaned in to him. “I wasn’t going to do anything with Mike. It never entered my mind.”
“But Sara, don’t you see how ridiculous this is?” he asked, turning his face to me. “You shouldn’t have to explain yourself. If you wanted to do something with him, you had every right to. It’s your body. I don’t know why I got so angry.”
“Because I’m your best friend,” I said with a shrug. “You care if people start taking advantage of me.”
“I don’t know if that’s it at all,” he eventually said. He looked down at our clasped hands in deep thought. Then he put an arm around my waist and pulled me up the bed with him. He settled comfortably on his back, holding me closely to his side with my head on his chest and under his chin. I listened to the strong thump of his heart as he stroked my bare back with the tips of his fingers. Strange as it was, I didn’t object. He was warm, comfortable, and I relaxed into him.
“I wanted to give you a great time,” he whispered down at me. “Wanted you to look back and remember tonight.”
“You gave me the perfect night,” I replied, bringing my hand up to rest on his chest next to my face. “You were the perfect date, Jaxon.”
“I wanted to be. I had it in my head that only I’d be able to give you a good time because I know you so well. I didn’t want you to fall for some loser’s charm so that he could screw you. I worried something might happen if I wasn’t there to protect you.” He sighed deeply and gripped me tighter. “I liked seeing you happy. It made me happy too. I guess I never knew how much the way you feel affected me until lately. Since the night your father threw you down the stairs.”
I stiffened a little. “I needed you more than ever that day.”
“I know, and I was actually there when you needed me the most. Knowing that made me feel like I was responsible for you or something.”
“You’re not.”
“I know, but it didn’t scare me that I felt like that. It actually made me feel good.”
Tingles swept my body as I pondered his words, but I didn’t say anything. He seemed to enjoy talking to me like this. It was such a different side to him I’d hardly seen before.
“When you go to Uni after this summer, I’m coming with you to Winthrop.” This sudden declaration had me looking up at him. “I’ll find us a good little apartment, and I’ll take care of you so you could just focus on your schoolwork. I don’t want you losing your scholarship to stupid shit like money problems and work.”
My eyes watered and I hurriedly went to wipe them, but he grabbed my hand before I could and then looked down at me. “Even crying, you look gorgeous, Sara. I never told you before how beautiful you are.”
Whoa. Who was this guy? Telling me he’d take care of me? Telling me I was beautiful? He continued to stare at me, and after some time I built the courage to lock eyes with him. The mood in the room shifted, and I was suddenly overwrought with nerves and a waterfall of freshly unsuppressed feelings.
He wants to take care of you. He thinks you’re beautiful. This is Jaxon Barlow we’re talking about here!
I don’t know why, or maybe I did knowing what it might lead to, but I moved up and rested my head on the same pillow as his, merely inches away from his face as we continued to gaze at each other.
I knew it was suddenly apparent that we were taking each other in knowing it was going to lead to something else. But that brief time was crucial. It gave either of us the opportunity to cut the tension in the air, reclaim our friend-zone and squash any of these dangerous feelings of attraction.
His eyes wandered about my face, lingering around my mouth and eyes with an intensity that had my cheeks heating up. I did the same; taking in his face, hair, lips, eyes, lips, lips, lips…. God, his mouth looked good to me.
I leaned in just barely but stopped, uncertain of his feelings. The move was enough confirmation for him. Staring deeply into my eyes like I was the only living thing he’d ever known, his lips parted and, squeezing me tighter, he leaned in. The first thing I felt were our noses touching, and then the soft feeling of his full lips brushing against my own.
He stopped to eye my reaction and gently laid his hand on my heated cheek, soothingly stroking it. My heart thumped rowdily against my chest at the feel of him so close to me, awakening every bit of me as if his touch was an alarm clock to my soul.
He kissed me again, this time properly. His lips were soft but firm, claiming mine tenderly. It felt so forbidden doing this; somewhere in the far depths of my mind I imagined Lucinda walking in and catching us with pure shock on her face. Or elation.
He pulled back to look at me again. “Is this alright for you?” he whispered so quietly that it was almost inaudible.
Was it alright? My body was aching for more of his lips. Without answering him, I moved in and kissed him again. He returned the kiss as he brought his fingers into my hair. It was like a fire had ignited between us. The second I felt his lips part and his tongue teasing for a taste of the inside of my mouth, I was about to combust with desire.
I wrapped my arm around his neck and brought him over top of me. He pinned me down with his lower weight, kissing me tenderly one second and then fiercely the next. From passionate to desperation, as if seeking, then finding, then seeking all over again.
No other boy compared to this. Jordan was not this kind of kisser, nor did he bring out the fire in my blood – the kind of fire that coursed through me, igniting me to such a heated frenzy.
I don’t know why I did it because it was certainly not something my inexperienced self would do, but the ache in my core had me thrusting my pelvis up to find the friction against his. I felt the rock hard length of him through his pants and trembled at the sensation. He groaned suddenly and loudly at this contact, breaking the kiss with closed eyes and an opened mouth.
Oh God, did I really just do that? Did I seriously hump Jaxon? I wanted to bury my head under the bed and die a quick death.
I didn’t know if he caught my embarrassment because he didn’t act like it. I felt his lips against my own again and then down along my jaw and neck. He was breathing heavily as he stuck his tongue out to trail it against my neck and then to my chest. He stopped abruptly at my breasts and looked up at me.
“Sara,” he said hoarsely, “please tell me to stop.”
Panting, I looked down at him. He had a pleading look on his face. “Don’t you like this?” I asked, unable to shake the wounded sound of my voice.
“It’s because I like it that I can’t stop.”
“So don’t stop.”
He shook his head. “Sara, you’re going to push me over the edge. I didn’t want this night to be about–”
“Deflowering me?” I interrupted, sarcastically.
He rested beside me again, and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. “I’m not going to take advantage of you.”
That’s what you just did to him, dumbass. Oh, so was he angry with me too and did it to get back at me or something? I didn’t pay attention to the pats the guys were giving Mike as we waded our way out of the room and up the stairs to the second level. There weren’t many people on this floor, but two doors were closed and one was wide open.
“Let’s go here, babe,” Mike said, pointing to the empty room.
Ignoring him, I stormed into one of the closed rooms. There were two couples in there making out and doing other… sordid things with each other. Astoundingly, they didn’t seem to mind my intrusion.
I closed the door and burst into the other bedroom, ignoring Mike’s questioning. A girl screamed and hurried to cover herself and a guy turned and glared at me. I mumbled an apology and closed the door. Where the hell was Jaxon?
Mike grabbed my hand and began steering me into the unoccupied room.
“I have to go, Mike,” I told him, pulling back. “I need to find Jaxon.”
“What about me?” I turned around and saw Jaxon emerging from the bathroom, alone. He sounded angry, and so did the look his face when he saw Mike’s hand around mine pulling me into the room.
“Now you know where he is,” Mike said to me, stiffly. “Let’s go now.”
“Where do you think you’re taking her?” Jaxon snapped, pushing past a few people in the hallway.
“Dude, would you stop being such a fucking cock-block?” Mike retorted, gaping at Jaxon with growing animosity.
I tried to pry my hand loose, but that only made Mike’s grip tighten. Jaxon stopped in front of him, standing a few inches shorter than the big guy.
“Let her go,” he demanded. “She’s not some five cent skank that you think will spread her legs wide for your punk ass.”
Mike abruptly let go of my hand and moved closer to Jaxon so that they were face to face. The tension in the air was thick, and even the talking around us wilted off making these two the centre of attention.
“I didn’t force her up here,” Mike said, flaring his nostrils as he tried on the menacing look. He pulled the look off well, I noted.
“Looked like you were dragging her into this room–”
“Then ask her yourself. She said she wanted to come here.”
Jaxon looked over at me with questioning eyes. “Is that true, Sara?”
I felt my face heat up and shrugged. “I was looking for you.”
“Lying bitch,” Mike cursed. “You said you were fine–”
“Don’t you fucking call her that again,” Jaxon interrupted, turning back to Mike. “She doesn’t want you, so fuck off.”
Mike abruptly shoved Jaxon back, swearing wildly at him. Knowing Jaxon like the back of my hand, I dreaded what he was going to do. He never took kindly to anyone touching him.
“Touch me again and I’ll beat the shit out of you,” he warned Mike.
Mike, who was taller and bigger than Jaxon, laughed mockingly. He balled his fists up and stepped forward, ready to throw a fist at Jaxon, but Jaxon was quicker. He punched him straight in the nose, and shoved the disoriented guy back until he hit the wall harshly. Then he put an arm under Mike’s chin and a fist at his face, as if challenging him for more.
“Jaxon, just leave him alone.” I touched his back lightly, unsure of how he would react to my touching. “Let’s go home.”
He ignored me for a long moment, staring intently at Mike’s face. Mike made no move to fight him off. Then he let go, grabbed my hand tightly and stormed out of there.
Six
He drove me home in silence, never batting me an eye even when I turned my whole body to stare at his face. He just ignored me.
Heart sunken, I felt like I’d ruined the night, and didn’t I? I shouldn’t have left him sitting there on the couch, especially when he’d been so attentive to me. Why did I react so stupidly? Now things were even more awkward.
If I’d known I’d feel this way twenty four hours ago, I would have avoided Prom altogether and have gone back to our strictly friend zoned selves. Yet if things had been so damn friend zoned, why did the smallest event like tonight ignite something that felt so different? Or was I just reading into it too much?
The house was dark and quiet. Lucinda was fast asleep. I looked at the clock on the wall in the entrance room and was surprised it was almost midnight. Time sure flew. Jaxon walked past me and up the stairs without so much a glance in my direction. I hurried after him. Maybe talking to him would break the ice.
In the unlit bedroom, he opened his dresser and pulled out his briefs and shirt, and then turned to make his way out. I stood in the doorway, blocking him.
“Can we talk?” I asked quietly.
“About what, Sara?” His voice was hard as rock.
“Is that a yes?”
He sighed, frustration etched in the features of his beautiful face. “Fine.”
I shut the door and sat down on the bed, and motioned him to sit down too. When he did, I grabbed his hand and, with a deep breath, said, “I’m sorry. I was so stupid tonight. I shouldn’t have left you alone like that.”
“You let him take you to the bedroom, Sara,” he replied. The anger in his face turned into one of disbelief. “You were going to…”
“And where were you?” I rebutted, frowning at him. “I saw that you were gone, and I thought you were with Abby in one of those bedrooms. The only way Mike would let me go was telling him he could take me up there. I did it so that I could stop you.” Embarrassed, I looked away. Even in the dark, we were quite visible.
“Stop me?” He scoffed and shook his head. “You tell me I could do whatever I want with girls–”
“You could!”
“So why would you want to stop me?”
“Using your logic, why do you even care if I was going into the bedroom anyway?” It was silly and cowardice avoiding his question with my own question, but it shut him up and had him sulking for one very long minute.
“I guess I had it in my head that you were my date tonight,” he said quietly. “I thought you were mine for the day, and I got a little shitty when I saw everyone staring at you like a piece of meat they had a chance with. I was able to handle that, but not them grinding on you like that.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated. I put a hand around his shoulder and leaned in to him. “I wasn’t going to do anything with Mike. It never entered my mind.”
“But Sara, don’t you see how ridiculous this is?” he asked, turning his face to me. “You shouldn’t have to explain yourself. If you wanted to do something with him, you had every right to. It’s your body. I don’t know why I got so angry.”
“Because I’m your best friend,” I said with a shrug. “You care if people start taking advantage of me.”
“I don’t know if that’s it at all,” he eventually said. He looked down at our clasped hands in deep thought. Then he put an arm around my waist and pulled me up the bed with him. He settled comfortably on his back, holding me closely to his side with my head on his chest and under his chin. I listened to the strong thump of his heart as he stroked my bare back with the tips of his fingers. Strange as it was, I didn’t object. He was warm, comfortable, and I relaxed into him.
“I wanted to give you a great time,” he whispered down at me. “Wanted you to look back and remember tonight.”
“You gave me the perfect night,” I replied, bringing my hand up to rest on his chest next to my face. “You were the perfect date, Jaxon.”
“I wanted to be. I had it in my head that only I’d be able to give you a good time because I know you so well. I didn’t want you to fall for some loser’s charm so that he could screw you. I worried something might happen if I wasn’t there to protect you.” He sighed deeply and gripped me tighter. “I liked seeing you happy. It made me happy too. I guess I never knew how much the way you feel affected me until lately. Since the night your father threw you down the stairs.”
I stiffened a little. “I needed you more than ever that day.”
“I know, and I was actually there when you needed me the most. Knowing that made me feel like I was responsible for you or something.”
“You’re not.”
“I know, but it didn’t scare me that I felt like that. It actually made me feel good.”
Tingles swept my body as I pondered his words, but I didn’t say anything. He seemed to enjoy talking to me like this. It was such a different side to him I’d hardly seen before.
“When you go to Uni after this summer, I’m coming with you to Winthrop.” This sudden declaration had me looking up at him. “I’ll find us a good little apartment, and I’ll take care of you so you could just focus on your schoolwork. I don’t want you losing your scholarship to stupid shit like money problems and work.”
My eyes watered and I hurriedly went to wipe them, but he grabbed my hand before I could and then looked down at me. “Even crying, you look gorgeous, Sara. I never told you before how beautiful you are.”
Whoa. Who was this guy? Telling me he’d take care of me? Telling me I was beautiful? He continued to stare at me, and after some time I built the courage to lock eyes with him. The mood in the room shifted, and I was suddenly overwrought with nerves and a waterfall of freshly unsuppressed feelings.
He wants to take care of you. He thinks you’re beautiful. This is Jaxon Barlow we’re talking about here!
I don’t know why, or maybe I did knowing what it might lead to, but I moved up and rested my head on the same pillow as his, merely inches away from his face as we continued to gaze at each other.
I knew it was suddenly apparent that we were taking each other in knowing it was going to lead to something else. But that brief time was crucial. It gave either of us the opportunity to cut the tension in the air, reclaim our friend-zone and squash any of these dangerous feelings of attraction.
His eyes wandered about my face, lingering around my mouth and eyes with an intensity that had my cheeks heating up. I did the same; taking in his face, hair, lips, eyes, lips, lips, lips…. God, his mouth looked good to me.
I leaned in just barely but stopped, uncertain of his feelings. The move was enough confirmation for him. Staring deeply into my eyes like I was the only living thing he’d ever known, his lips parted and, squeezing me tighter, he leaned in. The first thing I felt were our noses touching, and then the soft feeling of his full lips brushing against my own.
He stopped to eye my reaction and gently laid his hand on my heated cheek, soothingly stroking it. My heart thumped rowdily against my chest at the feel of him so close to me, awakening every bit of me as if his touch was an alarm clock to my soul.
He kissed me again, this time properly. His lips were soft but firm, claiming mine tenderly. It felt so forbidden doing this; somewhere in the far depths of my mind I imagined Lucinda walking in and catching us with pure shock on her face. Or elation.
He pulled back to look at me again. “Is this alright for you?” he whispered so quietly that it was almost inaudible.
Was it alright? My body was aching for more of his lips. Without answering him, I moved in and kissed him again. He returned the kiss as he brought his fingers into my hair. It was like a fire had ignited between us. The second I felt his lips part and his tongue teasing for a taste of the inside of my mouth, I was about to combust with desire.
I wrapped my arm around his neck and brought him over top of me. He pinned me down with his lower weight, kissing me tenderly one second and then fiercely the next. From passionate to desperation, as if seeking, then finding, then seeking all over again.
No other boy compared to this. Jordan was not this kind of kisser, nor did he bring out the fire in my blood – the kind of fire that coursed through me, igniting me to such a heated frenzy.
I don’t know why I did it because it was certainly not something my inexperienced self would do, but the ache in my core had me thrusting my pelvis up to find the friction against his. I felt the rock hard length of him through his pants and trembled at the sensation. He groaned suddenly and loudly at this contact, breaking the kiss with closed eyes and an opened mouth.
Oh God, did I really just do that? Did I seriously hump Jaxon? I wanted to bury my head under the bed and die a quick death.
I didn’t know if he caught my embarrassment because he didn’t act like it. I felt his lips against my own again and then down along my jaw and neck. He was breathing heavily as he stuck his tongue out to trail it against my neck and then to my chest. He stopped abruptly at my breasts and looked up at me.
“Sara,” he said hoarsely, “please tell me to stop.”
Panting, I looked down at him. He had a pleading look on his face. “Don’t you like this?” I asked, unable to shake the wounded sound of my voice.
“It’s because I like it that I can’t stop.”
“So don’t stop.”
He shook his head. “Sara, you’re going to push me over the edge. I didn’t want this night to be about–”
“Deflowering me?” I interrupted, sarcastically.
He rested beside me again, and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. “I’m not going to take advantage of you.”
