But after one last deep breath, she presses play.
A voice crackles from the small speaker, a faint tremor at its edge.
The voice of a dead man.
“This is the last will and testament of James McNulty.”
Grant sits cross-legged, device cupped in her palm. The volume’s turned down to a whisper, but in that tiny bloodstained room, I swear it’s loud as thunder.
“I don’t know if anyone will get this. Don’t know if anyone will care. I don’t feel right. I’m shaking so b-bad I can hardly breathe. And that’s got me thinking Phobos has stuck me, and that if I don’t do something about it soon, I’m not going to be m-me anymore.
“I don’t want that. Don’t want to end up like those poor bastards in Bay Four. I don’t want to hurt anyone. When I die, I want to be me. So I guess I die today.”
A sigh.
“Figures. I was just starting to enjoy myself.
“I don’t have much stuff. Um. I guess give it all to my dad; he’ll know what to do with it. Except give my signed Artie Corso v-vidcard to my cousin Dex, haha … he was always talking about that fucking thing. Oh. And my medals. I wanna give those to Ezra Mason. He can melt ’em down—there should be enough gold in ’em to make a ring for Astro-Princess. I think I’d like that better than having them hanging on a wall somewhere. Yeah. Yeah, that’d be good.
“Dad … if you get this, tell Mom I’m sorry I didn’t make it back for her birthday. U-um, and give Amber a kiss from her big brother. Tell her it’s g-going to be all right. I hope you understand. Me going out like this. It’s not that I’m scared. I’m n-not scared, Dad. I just want to be me at the end, you know?
“Um, it’s getting kinda bad again. My hands are shaking, so I think I’m gonna go now. I don’t want to wait too long and not be able to pull the t-trigger.”
Metallic sounds from the speaker. Anyone who knows guns, knows them.
Checking clip. Checking breach. Safety off.
“I can’t think of anything to say.”
A trembling breath.
“Jesus, I am scared.”
BOOM.
Grant flinches like someone hit her. Slumps like part of her died as well. She sits for two minutes that seem to last forever. Nothing but the engine noise and screams for company. But finally, she climbs to her knees. Her eyes on the lanyard at McNulty’s equipment belt, the flat strip of blue plastic attached to it. The bold black letters stenciled on it.
UTA MARINES—ALL AREAS ACCESS.
The pass won’t work on the hangar bay doors, but those are already unsealed. And there are countless other doors aboard the Alexander that card will unlock. No need to hack through them with that console at her back anymore. Now she’s got the key.
She unzips McNulty’s hazmat suit, fumbling with the tac vest beneath. With bloodstained fingers, she snaps the chain at his throat, drawing out a pair of flat metal disks marked with name, rank, UTA ID number. Slipping the dogtags into her pack, she bows her head.
The rage is back now. Her voice is shaking with it.
“I’ll tell them, Jimmy,” she says. “I’ll tell them all.”
And then the console in her backpack starts to ping.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: kady
Mason, E, LT 2nd: fuck me
Mason, E, LT 2nd: kady u there?
ByteMe: hang on
ByteMe: kk. what’s up? u moving?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: no. well sort of. deeper into the server cluster
Mason, E, LT 2nd: jesus
Mason, E, LT 2nd: kady i just killed someone
ByteMe: good
ByteMe: anyone else tries anything, u kill them too, got it?
ByteMe: they’re not them anymore
Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah i know
Mason, E, LT 2nd: just
Mason, E, LT 2nd: god
Mason, E, LT 2nd: he came in through the airvents. dunno how he found me. UTA marine. guy named Sykes.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i think Jimmy knew him, used to talk about a guy in his squad called Syko
ByteMe: i’m sorry
ByteMe: i found jimmy, Ez. i’m so sorry.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: god is he ok?
ByteMe: he died, Ez.
ByteMe: he did it himself, before the sickness got him, once he knew it was on the way
ByteMe: he left a message. i’m so sorry, i know he was your friend.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: …
Mason, E, LT 2nd: jimmy
ByteMe: i’m sorry. i have to keep moving.
ByteMe: i have his access pass, i’ll be faster now
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ok
Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah ok
ByteMe: r u ok holed up where u r?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: core server rooms. i’m out of bullets
Mason, E, LT 2nd: no spare mag. no munitions locker in here
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i’d kill for another gun. pun intended, i guess …
ByteMe: that’s ironic
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ?
ByteMe: i have one right here and no idea how to use it
ByteMe: i think these are bullets tho
Mason, E, LT 2nd: a gun? wat kind? pistol? rifle?
ByteMe: r pistols the ones u hold in ur hand? like smaller?
ByteMe: there’s one of those and a big one too, but couldn’t lift that for long
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ya, pistol is the one that fits in one hand. take that
Mason, E, LT 2nd: but u need the rifle too. it should have a strap to help carry it. pistols dont’ have the stopping power. these crazies just keep coming until they can’t move anymore.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: but a couple of VK rounds in the chest will stop a glaciosaur
A voice crackles from the small speaker, a faint tremor at its edge.
The voice of a dead man.
“This is the last will and testament of James McNulty.”
Grant sits cross-legged, device cupped in her palm. The volume’s turned down to a whisper, but in that tiny bloodstained room, I swear it’s loud as thunder.
“I don’t know if anyone will get this. Don’t know if anyone will care. I don’t feel right. I’m shaking so b-bad I can hardly breathe. And that’s got me thinking Phobos has stuck me, and that if I don’t do something about it soon, I’m not going to be m-me anymore.
“I don’t want that. Don’t want to end up like those poor bastards in Bay Four. I don’t want to hurt anyone. When I die, I want to be me. So I guess I die today.”
A sigh.
“Figures. I was just starting to enjoy myself.
“I don’t have much stuff. Um. I guess give it all to my dad; he’ll know what to do with it. Except give my signed Artie Corso v-vidcard to my cousin Dex, haha … he was always talking about that fucking thing. Oh. And my medals. I wanna give those to Ezra Mason. He can melt ’em down—there should be enough gold in ’em to make a ring for Astro-Princess. I think I’d like that better than having them hanging on a wall somewhere. Yeah. Yeah, that’d be good.
“Dad … if you get this, tell Mom I’m sorry I didn’t make it back for her birthday. U-um, and give Amber a kiss from her big brother. Tell her it’s g-going to be all right. I hope you understand. Me going out like this. It’s not that I’m scared. I’m n-not scared, Dad. I just want to be me at the end, you know?
“Um, it’s getting kinda bad again. My hands are shaking, so I think I’m gonna go now. I don’t want to wait too long and not be able to pull the t-trigger.”
Metallic sounds from the speaker. Anyone who knows guns, knows them.
Checking clip. Checking breach. Safety off.
“I can’t think of anything to say.”
A trembling breath.
“Jesus, I am scared.”
BOOM.
Grant flinches like someone hit her. Slumps like part of her died as well. She sits for two minutes that seem to last forever. Nothing but the engine noise and screams for company. But finally, she climbs to her knees. Her eyes on the lanyard at McNulty’s equipment belt, the flat strip of blue plastic attached to it. The bold black letters stenciled on it.
UTA MARINES—ALL AREAS ACCESS.
The pass won’t work on the hangar bay doors, but those are already unsealed. And there are countless other doors aboard the Alexander that card will unlock. No need to hack through them with that console at her back anymore. Now she’s got the key.
She unzips McNulty’s hazmat suit, fumbling with the tac vest beneath. With bloodstained fingers, she snaps the chain at his throat, drawing out a pair of flat metal disks marked with name, rank, UTA ID number. Slipping the dogtags into her pack, she bows her head.
The rage is back now. Her voice is shaking with it.
“I’ll tell them, Jimmy,” she says. “I’ll tell them all.”
And then the console in her backpack starts to ping.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: kady
Mason, E, LT 2nd: fuck me
Mason, E, LT 2nd: kady u there?
ByteMe: hang on
ByteMe: kk. what’s up? u moving?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: no. well sort of. deeper into the server cluster
Mason, E, LT 2nd: jesus
Mason, E, LT 2nd: kady i just killed someone
ByteMe: good
ByteMe: anyone else tries anything, u kill them too, got it?
ByteMe: they’re not them anymore
Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah i know
Mason, E, LT 2nd: just
Mason, E, LT 2nd: god
Mason, E, LT 2nd: he came in through the airvents. dunno how he found me. UTA marine. guy named Sykes.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i think Jimmy knew him, used to talk about a guy in his squad called Syko
ByteMe: i’m sorry
ByteMe: i found jimmy, Ez. i’m so sorry.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: god is he ok?
ByteMe: he died, Ez.
ByteMe: he did it himself, before the sickness got him, once he knew it was on the way
ByteMe: he left a message. i’m so sorry, i know he was your friend.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: …
Mason, E, LT 2nd: jimmy
ByteMe: i’m sorry. i have to keep moving.
ByteMe: i have his access pass, i’ll be faster now
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ok
Mason, E, LT 2nd: yeah ok
ByteMe: r u ok holed up where u r?
Mason, E, LT 2nd: core server rooms. i’m out of bullets
Mason, E, LT 2nd: no spare mag. no munitions locker in here
Mason, E, LT 2nd: i’d kill for another gun. pun intended, i guess …
ByteMe: that’s ironic
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ?
ByteMe: i have one right here and no idea how to use it
ByteMe: i think these are bullets tho
Mason, E, LT 2nd: a gun? wat kind? pistol? rifle?
ByteMe: r pistols the ones u hold in ur hand? like smaller?
ByteMe: there’s one of those and a big one too, but couldn’t lift that for long
Mason, E, LT 2nd: ya, pistol is the one that fits in one hand. take that
Mason, E, LT 2nd: but u need the rifle too. it should have a strap to help carry it. pistols dont’ have the stopping power. these crazies just keep coming until they can’t move anymore.
Mason, E, LT 2nd: but a couple of VK rounds in the chest will stop a glaciosaur
