Now this was something I could get used to. Griff’s hand on my leg, him calling me sweetheart, and the gentle tone of his voice. Especially that tone of his voice. It hit all my sweet spots.
I did as he said, and as soon as I was standing, I realised why he’d pulled over. Watching as his powerful body moved off the bike, I said, “You stopped to let me stretch.”
His eyes found mine and he nodded. “Yeah, figured you might appreciate that.”
“Thank you.”
I took the opportunity to stretch and walk around for a few minutes before turning back to him. He was leaning against his bike, watching me in a way that clearly told me how much he wanted me. I loved that look on his face, but I didn’t know what to do with it. I wanted him just as much – wanted the chance to get to know his deepest thoughts and feelings, his heartache, his biggest regrets, his happiest memories, and the way his body would feel moving against mine. But, damn it, our wants weren’t on the table…only our denials.
Frustration overcame me, and I stalked to where he waited. “Don’t do that,” I said with a little more force than I’d meant to.
“Do what?” he asked, not moving from his spot.
God, he was so cool and calm. And that frustrated me even more. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not fair, because I want you, and I can’t have you, and when you look at me like that, it turns me on. And what the hell can I do with that if you’re not interested enough to consider a relationship with me? Jesus, at this point, I’m gonna have to go home and take care of myself with BOB, and seriously, dude, that’s nowhere near as fun as having a man take care of me.” I took a moment to get my breathing under control. My frustration had worked itself out into my words and the breaths that were coming hard and fast now.
He moved fast and a second later stood so close to me that I could hear his breaths. His cool demeanour had vanished. A man clearly as affected as I was now stared down at me. “Just being in the same room as you turns me on, Sophia. I met you, what…four days ago, and you’re not like any other woman I’ve known or been with, and as much as I try, I can’t get you out of my mind. When you tell me you’re gonna need a fucking sex toy to take care of you, it makes me want to throw caution to the wind and make sure you’re taken care of, but I refuse to do that to you. You deserve so much more than a man like me.”
“From what I know of you, I deserve a man just like you,’ I said softly.
His nostrils flared and he shook his head. “No, you don’t. If you knew what really lived in me, you would run the other way.”
I’d never heard him speak this way. It was like disgust and regret had weaved their way into his voice. I couldn’t understand why he would think I wouldn’t want anything to do with him. “We’ve all got secrets and demons that take up residence in us. If we never show them to anyone, how will we know who would choose to accept us regardless of them?”
The vein in his neck pulsed as his eyes turned hard. “Don’t push this because, trust me, you wouldn’t like where it would go,” he said, his voice as hard as his eyes. A shiver ran through me, and I wasn’t sure if it was a good shiver or a bad one. It was like a switch had been flipped in him, and while I still felt safe with him, there was an edge I was unsure of now.
Stepping away from him, I nodded. “Okay, you win.”
His chest rose and fell quite hard as his breathing picked up. “Good,” he said with a nod in return.
I wrapped my arms around my body and rubbed my arms. It was far from cold, but a chill had fallen over me. “Can you please take me home?”
Without another word, he got on his bike and I joined him when he was ready for me. As we sped off in the direction of my house, I wondered what the hell had just happened. We’d been having a great time, and then it was as if the Griff I knew disappeared, and a harder version of him appeared. A version I wasn’t sure of. And yet, this new version had my complete attention because he looked at me through eyes of pain, and pain was something I knew well. Pain was what I lived and breathed for years, and my life had only really begun when I finally freed myself from it. And more than anything, I now wanted to help Griff escape his pain.
10
Griff
“I’m no closer to figuring this riddle out, but I’m needed back home,” King said the next afternoon when Scott and I met with him and Kick at the clubhouse bar to fill each other in on where we were at with investigating the club members, the fire, and everything else we had going on.
“You’re leaving?” Scott asked.
King nodded. “Yeah, but I want you to keep looking. At least one of your boys has been talking and spreading lies, and that shit doesn’t sit well with me. I want him identified and dealt with. Soon. I’d stay but my club’s got some trouble to deal with. Fuck, it’s never-ending.”
“I’ll put Nash onto it,” Scott promised.
“Good. Tell him not to drag it out. My members are calling for retaliation over this, and I’d like to avoid it. We’ve got too much other shit going on with the Silver Hell boys, and we don’t need any distractions while dealing with that.”
“Anything we can help with?” Scott asked.
“I think you’ve got your hands full, but if we need you, I’ll let you know,” King said as he started to make his way out. He and Kick said their goodbyes, and a few moments later, Scott and I were alone in the bar. Boxing Day at the clubhouse was quiet with most members spending the day with their families.
I did as he said, and as soon as I was standing, I realised why he’d pulled over. Watching as his powerful body moved off the bike, I said, “You stopped to let me stretch.”
His eyes found mine and he nodded. “Yeah, figured you might appreciate that.”
“Thank you.”
I took the opportunity to stretch and walk around for a few minutes before turning back to him. He was leaning against his bike, watching me in a way that clearly told me how much he wanted me. I loved that look on his face, but I didn’t know what to do with it. I wanted him just as much – wanted the chance to get to know his deepest thoughts and feelings, his heartache, his biggest regrets, his happiest memories, and the way his body would feel moving against mine. But, damn it, our wants weren’t on the table…only our denials.
Frustration overcame me, and I stalked to where he waited. “Don’t do that,” I said with a little more force than I’d meant to.
“Do what?” he asked, not moving from his spot.
God, he was so cool and calm. And that frustrated me even more. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not fair, because I want you, and I can’t have you, and when you look at me like that, it turns me on. And what the hell can I do with that if you’re not interested enough to consider a relationship with me? Jesus, at this point, I’m gonna have to go home and take care of myself with BOB, and seriously, dude, that’s nowhere near as fun as having a man take care of me.” I took a moment to get my breathing under control. My frustration had worked itself out into my words and the breaths that were coming hard and fast now.
He moved fast and a second later stood so close to me that I could hear his breaths. His cool demeanour had vanished. A man clearly as affected as I was now stared down at me. “Just being in the same room as you turns me on, Sophia. I met you, what…four days ago, and you’re not like any other woman I’ve known or been with, and as much as I try, I can’t get you out of my mind. When you tell me you’re gonna need a fucking sex toy to take care of you, it makes me want to throw caution to the wind and make sure you’re taken care of, but I refuse to do that to you. You deserve so much more than a man like me.”
“From what I know of you, I deserve a man just like you,’ I said softly.
His nostrils flared and he shook his head. “No, you don’t. If you knew what really lived in me, you would run the other way.”
I’d never heard him speak this way. It was like disgust and regret had weaved their way into his voice. I couldn’t understand why he would think I wouldn’t want anything to do with him. “We’ve all got secrets and demons that take up residence in us. If we never show them to anyone, how will we know who would choose to accept us regardless of them?”
The vein in his neck pulsed as his eyes turned hard. “Don’t push this because, trust me, you wouldn’t like where it would go,” he said, his voice as hard as his eyes. A shiver ran through me, and I wasn’t sure if it was a good shiver or a bad one. It was like a switch had been flipped in him, and while I still felt safe with him, there was an edge I was unsure of now.
Stepping away from him, I nodded. “Okay, you win.”
His chest rose and fell quite hard as his breathing picked up. “Good,” he said with a nod in return.
I wrapped my arms around my body and rubbed my arms. It was far from cold, but a chill had fallen over me. “Can you please take me home?”
Without another word, he got on his bike and I joined him when he was ready for me. As we sped off in the direction of my house, I wondered what the hell had just happened. We’d been having a great time, and then it was as if the Griff I knew disappeared, and a harder version of him appeared. A version I wasn’t sure of. And yet, this new version had my complete attention because he looked at me through eyes of pain, and pain was something I knew well. Pain was what I lived and breathed for years, and my life had only really begun when I finally freed myself from it. And more than anything, I now wanted to help Griff escape his pain.
10
Griff
“I’m no closer to figuring this riddle out, but I’m needed back home,” King said the next afternoon when Scott and I met with him and Kick at the clubhouse bar to fill each other in on where we were at with investigating the club members, the fire, and everything else we had going on.
“You’re leaving?” Scott asked.
King nodded. “Yeah, but I want you to keep looking. At least one of your boys has been talking and spreading lies, and that shit doesn’t sit well with me. I want him identified and dealt with. Soon. I’d stay but my club’s got some trouble to deal with. Fuck, it’s never-ending.”
“I’ll put Nash onto it,” Scott promised.
“Good. Tell him not to drag it out. My members are calling for retaliation over this, and I’d like to avoid it. We’ve got too much other shit going on with the Silver Hell boys, and we don’t need any distractions while dealing with that.”
“Anything we can help with?” Scott asked.
“I think you’ve got your hands full, but if we need you, I’ll let you know,” King said as he started to make his way out. He and Kick said their goodbyes, and a few moments later, Scott and I were alone in the bar. Boxing Day at the clubhouse was quiet with most members spending the day with their families.
