“And you don’t think I’m capable of doing what’s best for Colin.”
It wasn’t a question. She was being pretty clear.
Kathleen cocked her head. “Do you think you’re capable of doing what’s best for Colin?”
My temper was rising. Maybe it had something to do with her imperious attitude. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she was honing in on my worst fears. The truth was I really wasn’t sure I had it in me to be everything Colin needed. I didn’t know if I was capable of being a good parent, or even a satisfactory one.
Or maybe I just resented the fact that Kathleen looked sexy as sin even when she was driving me crazy.
“What would have been best for Colin,” I said in a tight voice, “is if his parents had never fucking died.”
Kathleen grimaced. “Of course. But that’s not reality.”
“No, it’s not reality. The reality is that Heather and Chris are dead. The reality is they chose me as the guardian for their son, who also happens to be my brother.” I exhaled and lowered my voice. “So that’s what I’m going to do. Be his guardian.”
She didn’t look convinced. “Just like that? Don’t you have a job back in Oregon?”
“I’m a freelance website designer. I can do that anywhere.”
“But you can just pick up and move with no notice?”
“Sure.”
“There must be other things to consider.”
“Like what, Kathleen?”
“Well, don’t you have a life, Nash?”
I was sick of her questions. “Don’t you have a life, Kathleen?”
She flinched. “I have a life,” she said quietly and reached out to touch her daughter’s head.
Emma glanced at me and then kept eating her cereal. I had the feeling I’d touched a nerve. I hadn’t meant to. I appreciated everything Kathleen had done. I was glad she cared about Colin. And I really didn’t know what her personal situation was. Kathleen Doyle had been born brilliant, one of those people who’s expected to go out and conquer the world. But here she was back in her hometown living in a run down duplex with a little kid and no ring on her finger.
“Actually I didn’t have much of a life,” I said and Kathleen looked surprised. “Not really. I lived alone. I didn’t go out much. I existed. So I’m not losing a thing.”
All that was true. Yet it wasn’t the whole truth. I didn’t feel obliged to explain every thought in my head to Kathleen. She didn’t need to know that something still burned inside of me, something that had ignited the day my mother was murdered by a man she trusted. Something that compelled me to creep around in the shadows and mete out small doses of justice when I found the chance. Kathleen struck me as the type who would never endure violence, even when it was necessary. If I had admitted the real story behind my injured knuckles she wouldn’t understand. She might decide to cause a problem.
I stepped around the counter and approached the table. I squeezed a spongy pink pig that hung from Colin’s bouncer. It made a shrill squeaking sound. He kicked his legs and smiled. I smiled back.
“I’m in this for the long haul,” I said in a soft voice, talking more to my brother than to Kathleen.
“I’m sorry,” Kathleen said. “I didn’t mean-“
“Don’t be,” I said sharply. “Let’s just forget it.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
For a few seconds there was no sound but Emma’s crunching.
I decided I needed another cup of coffee so I refilled the mug.
“You look like you were on your way to work,” I said. I had no idea what Kathleen Doyle did for a living, nor did I particularly care, but the conversation needed a new direction.
“Ah, work,” said Kathleen, pulling up a kitchen chair and having a seat. “That’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. And I’ll take that cup of coffee if you’re still offering.”
I filled another one of the Hawk Valley Happiness mugs and handed it to her. She smiled when she saw it but I didn’t know why. I watched as she tossed her thick red curls over one shoulder and raised the mug to her full, sexy lips.
“What’s this about work?” I asked to keep my mind on G-rated topics.
“Yes. I wanted to discuss the store, to see what you had in mind. It’s been closed for a week already, which is of course understandable. But I was wondering what your thoughts were on a timeline for reopening.”
I’d given exactly zero thought to my father’s store on Garner Avenue. The place had experienced a number of transformations over the years. When my grandfather bought the building it was a failing bar. He remodeled and opened up a café called Ryan’s Place. It limped along for a good number of years but then my father took over when I was a toddler. Running an eatery was complicated with a slim profit margin and Chris Ryan had other ideas. He thought Hawk Valley was on the verge of a renaissance and Garner Avenue would become some kind of artisan mecca, attracting tourists and art shoppers like the places in Sedona and Scottsdale. So Ryan’s Place became Hawk Mountains Gallery. It was a miscalculation. One measly gallery wasn’t enough to draw the collectors to the area. So once again a change was in order and Hawk Valley Gifts was born. It was just a common souvenir shop where you could buy all kinds of kitschy crap with your name embossed in gold lettering but there was a sizeable area in the back where local artists sold their creations on consignment. At least that was how things stood the last time I was in there. I had no idea what was going on with the store these days.
Kathleen awaited my answer.
“I’ll give it some thought,” I said even though the store was low on my list of concerns.
“I could meet you down there this afternoon,” she offered, checking her watch. “I’ve got to drop Emma off at preschool and then I have to meet a couple of clients but I can carve out some time around two.”
I didn’t know why Kathleen should care so much about the store. It sounded like she had more than enough to keep her busy.
“Maybe another day,” I said, glancing at Colin in his bouncer. He was still enthralled with the dangling pig.
Kathleen was not pleased. “Nash, there are really some things that warrant immediate discussion where the store is concerned.”
“Fine. Just not today.” I had some other things to figure out, like child rearing. And my own work had been put on hold. There were half a dozen unfinished projects sitting on my laptop and there was probably a limit to my clients’ sympathies.
Kathleen frowned. “You also have two employees to consider, you know.”
Nope, the thought hadn’t even occurred to me.
“Are you one of them?” I asked her. That would explain why she was so insistent, although I would have thought Kathleen and her mega brains could do much better than working at a small town gift stop.
She shook her head. “No. Well, sort of. I mean, I wasn’t one of the employees I was referring to. But I’ve been doing the books for the last three years so I can tell you everything you need to know about the store’s financial status.”
“You’re an accountant?”
She shook her head. “Closer to a bookkeeper. I operate independently and a number of Hawk Valley’s small businesses are my clients.” A sad smile touched her lips. “I have Heather to thank for that. She convinced your father to hire me when I had no degree and no experience and then she recommended me around town.”
It wasn’t a question. She was being pretty clear.
Kathleen cocked her head. “Do you think you’re capable of doing what’s best for Colin?”
My temper was rising. Maybe it had something to do with her imperious attitude. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she was honing in on my worst fears. The truth was I really wasn’t sure I had it in me to be everything Colin needed. I didn’t know if I was capable of being a good parent, or even a satisfactory one.
Or maybe I just resented the fact that Kathleen looked sexy as sin even when she was driving me crazy.
“What would have been best for Colin,” I said in a tight voice, “is if his parents had never fucking died.”
Kathleen grimaced. “Of course. But that’s not reality.”
“No, it’s not reality. The reality is that Heather and Chris are dead. The reality is they chose me as the guardian for their son, who also happens to be my brother.” I exhaled and lowered my voice. “So that’s what I’m going to do. Be his guardian.”
She didn’t look convinced. “Just like that? Don’t you have a job back in Oregon?”
“I’m a freelance website designer. I can do that anywhere.”
“But you can just pick up and move with no notice?”
“Sure.”
“There must be other things to consider.”
“Like what, Kathleen?”
“Well, don’t you have a life, Nash?”
I was sick of her questions. “Don’t you have a life, Kathleen?”
She flinched. “I have a life,” she said quietly and reached out to touch her daughter’s head.
Emma glanced at me and then kept eating her cereal. I had the feeling I’d touched a nerve. I hadn’t meant to. I appreciated everything Kathleen had done. I was glad she cared about Colin. And I really didn’t know what her personal situation was. Kathleen Doyle had been born brilliant, one of those people who’s expected to go out and conquer the world. But here she was back in her hometown living in a run down duplex with a little kid and no ring on her finger.
“Actually I didn’t have much of a life,” I said and Kathleen looked surprised. “Not really. I lived alone. I didn’t go out much. I existed. So I’m not losing a thing.”
All that was true. Yet it wasn’t the whole truth. I didn’t feel obliged to explain every thought in my head to Kathleen. She didn’t need to know that something still burned inside of me, something that had ignited the day my mother was murdered by a man she trusted. Something that compelled me to creep around in the shadows and mete out small doses of justice when I found the chance. Kathleen struck me as the type who would never endure violence, even when it was necessary. If I had admitted the real story behind my injured knuckles she wouldn’t understand. She might decide to cause a problem.
I stepped around the counter and approached the table. I squeezed a spongy pink pig that hung from Colin’s bouncer. It made a shrill squeaking sound. He kicked his legs and smiled. I smiled back.
“I’m in this for the long haul,” I said in a soft voice, talking more to my brother than to Kathleen.
“I’m sorry,” Kathleen said. “I didn’t mean-“
“Don’t be,” I said sharply. “Let’s just forget it.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
For a few seconds there was no sound but Emma’s crunching.
I decided I needed another cup of coffee so I refilled the mug.
“You look like you were on your way to work,” I said. I had no idea what Kathleen Doyle did for a living, nor did I particularly care, but the conversation needed a new direction.
“Ah, work,” said Kathleen, pulling up a kitchen chair and having a seat. “That’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. And I’ll take that cup of coffee if you’re still offering.”
I filled another one of the Hawk Valley Happiness mugs and handed it to her. She smiled when she saw it but I didn’t know why. I watched as she tossed her thick red curls over one shoulder and raised the mug to her full, sexy lips.
“What’s this about work?” I asked to keep my mind on G-rated topics.
“Yes. I wanted to discuss the store, to see what you had in mind. It’s been closed for a week already, which is of course understandable. But I was wondering what your thoughts were on a timeline for reopening.”
I’d given exactly zero thought to my father’s store on Garner Avenue. The place had experienced a number of transformations over the years. When my grandfather bought the building it was a failing bar. He remodeled and opened up a café called Ryan’s Place. It limped along for a good number of years but then my father took over when I was a toddler. Running an eatery was complicated with a slim profit margin and Chris Ryan had other ideas. He thought Hawk Valley was on the verge of a renaissance and Garner Avenue would become some kind of artisan mecca, attracting tourists and art shoppers like the places in Sedona and Scottsdale. So Ryan’s Place became Hawk Mountains Gallery. It was a miscalculation. One measly gallery wasn’t enough to draw the collectors to the area. So once again a change was in order and Hawk Valley Gifts was born. It was just a common souvenir shop where you could buy all kinds of kitschy crap with your name embossed in gold lettering but there was a sizeable area in the back where local artists sold their creations on consignment. At least that was how things stood the last time I was in there. I had no idea what was going on with the store these days.
Kathleen awaited my answer.
“I’ll give it some thought,” I said even though the store was low on my list of concerns.
“I could meet you down there this afternoon,” she offered, checking her watch. “I’ve got to drop Emma off at preschool and then I have to meet a couple of clients but I can carve out some time around two.”
I didn’t know why Kathleen should care so much about the store. It sounded like she had more than enough to keep her busy.
“Maybe another day,” I said, glancing at Colin in his bouncer. He was still enthralled with the dangling pig.
Kathleen was not pleased. “Nash, there are really some things that warrant immediate discussion where the store is concerned.”
“Fine. Just not today.” I had some other things to figure out, like child rearing. And my own work had been put on hold. There were half a dozen unfinished projects sitting on my laptop and there was probably a limit to my clients’ sympathies.
Kathleen frowned. “You also have two employees to consider, you know.”
Nope, the thought hadn’t even occurred to me.
“Are you one of them?” I asked her. That would explain why she was so insistent, although I would have thought Kathleen and her mega brains could do much better than working at a small town gift stop.
She shook her head. “No. Well, sort of. I mean, I wasn’t one of the employees I was referring to. But I’ve been doing the books for the last three years so I can tell you everything you need to know about the store’s financial status.”
“You’re an accountant?”
She shook her head. “Closer to a bookkeeper. I operate independently and a number of Hawk Valley’s small businesses are my clients.” A sad smile touched her lips. “I have Heather to thank for that. She convinced your father to hire me when I had no degree and no experience and then she recommended me around town.”
