“He had this whole thing planned and then he messed up. He was a nervous wreck, fumbling his words.”
“Damn, the man has it bad.” Kadence’s grin lifts, looking just as excited as Bell.
“It was cute. Then he just said ‘Fuck it, will you marry me, sweetheart?’ Then of course, I said yes.”
“I’m actually shocked,” Holly tells the group when Bell finishes telling her story.
“Oh, believe me, I wasn’t. Before we moved in together, I didn’t think he would be ready for at least a couple of years, but within a week, it was as if a light had been switched. The man traveled from zero to one hundred.” She looks down at her ring.
“I heard him talking about it with Jackson when I first moved into the clubhouse,” I reveal.
“And you didn’t tell us? Girl, we need to have a word.” Holly shakes her head in disappointment.
“Well, I didn’t want to ruin the surprise for Bell.”
“I’m glad you didn’t. I already had my suspicions,” Bell assures me I did the right thing.
“I knew when I saw your smirk you knew something was up.”
“We had only talked about it the night before. I knew it was coming. I just didn’t know when.”
“Well, who won the bet?” Manda asks, obviously in on the bet.
“Not me, I had them down for next year.” Holly shakes her head.
“Me too.” Kadence bows out.
“I’ve been out for weeks. I thought they were gonna announce when they moved in together.” Lissy lets out a disappointed sigh.
“Don’t worry, I thought for sure it wouldn’t be for two years.” Manda laughs, way out on her guess.
“I think you were the closest.” Kelly turns to me.
“I said Thanksgiving.”
“Yep, you were. So you win.”
“I did?” I look to Bell and watch her grin.
“Drinks on you, Kenzie!” She cheers, offering me a high five and as quick as they were drilling me about Beau, our girls’ night out turns into an engagement celebration for Bell and Jesse.
I listen to the conversation, but keep my gaze off Lissy, not wanting to draw attention to the discomfort she causes in me. Bell, oblivious to our tension, begins to chat about her and Jesse’s plans for the wedding. I tune out for a while, not that I don’t care for weddings or planning them, but just to take stock of my life the last few months.
As much as I’ve finally found the peace I’ve been searching for since leaving Chad, the guilt is starting to eat me alive. Guilt that my past could come back and hurt these people who have taken me in. On top of the guilt, I miss having Heidi around and having nights like this. I miss the closeness and being able to share everything with her. Sure I have Beau. But there are some things I never want to share with him.
“You okay?” Kadence pulls me out of my head a little while later.
“Yeah, I’m great.” I take another sip of my wine.
“You know, if you ever want to talk. I’m here, Kenz.” She offers me her hand and I give it a small squeeze.
“Thank you, Kadence, but I’m fine.” We don’t do deep again, and the night progresses along with more laughing, drinking, and dancing. After finishing off my third glass of wine, I stand to use the bathroom.
“I’ll be back, ladies. Just heading to the bathroom.” I stand and start to move toward the stairs.
“Wait up, Mackenzie. I’ll come with you,” Lissy calls out before I can make it away.
Shit.
“Sure.” I slow my escape and let her catch up. She smiles as we take the stairs, neither of us speaking.
“Mackenzie, have I done something to upset you?” she asks when we hit the lower floor and start to move to the bathroom.
“No, why?” I push open the door to the bathroom door and let her walk in before me.
“I just wanted to clear the air.” She stops short of the toilet stall.
“I don’t know why you would need to, Lissy.” I decide to play dumb.
“I know you know about me and Beau.” I know what she’s trying to do, but I don’t want to discuss this with her. Not here. Not now. Not ever.
“Lissy, I have no problem with you. Don’t make one.” I enter my stall and close the door. Maybe that was a bitch move. Maybe I just made it worse, but what does she expect? I would much rather we pretend she hasn’t had sex with my man.
After using the toilet, I step up to the vanity and wash my hands. Lissy is already done and stands awkwardly off to the side.
“I’ll meet you back upstairs.” She turns to leave when I keep my eyes in front of me.
“Wait, Lissy,” I call back to her before she goes. “I’m not trying to be a bitch. I just really don’t want to discuss you and Beau.” I reach for the paper towel and dry my hands.
“I get this is the last thing you want to talk about, I do. I just wanted to clear the air. We have mutual friends. I don’t want to make it any more awkward.”
“Well, consider it clear,” I offer her what she needs. She nods once then leaves. I give it a few extra minutes before following her out. I don’t make my way straight upstairs, instead opting for the bar instead.
“You okay, Mackenzie?” Jesse asks when I step up to the bar.
“Yeah, just wanted some water.” He gives me a wink and asks one of the bartenders to get it for me.
“Damn, the man has it bad.” Kadence’s grin lifts, looking just as excited as Bell.
“It was cute. Then he just said ‘Fuck it, will you marry me, sweetheart?’ Then of course, I said yes.”
“I’m actually shocked,” Holly tells the group when Bell finishes telling her story.
“Oh, believe me, I wasn’t. Before we moved in together, I didn’t think he would be ready for at least a couple of years, but within a week, it was as if a light had been switched. The man traveled from zero to one hundred.” She looks down at her ring.
“I heard him talking about it with Jackson when I first moved into the clubhouse,” I reveal.
“And you didn’t tell us? Girl, we need to have a word.” Holly shakes her head in disappointment.
“Well, I didn’t want to ruin the surprise for Bell.”
“I’m glad you didn’t. I already had my suspicions,” Bell assures me I did the right thing.
“I knew when I saw your smirk you knew something was up.”
“We had only talked about it the night before. I knew it was coming. I just didn’t know when.”
“Well, who won the bet?” Manda asks, obviously in on the bet.
“Not me, I had them down for next year.” Holly shakes her head.
“Me too.” Kadence bows out.
“I’ve been out for weeks. I thought they were gonna announce when they moved in together.” Lissy lets out a disappointed sigh.
“Don’t worry, I thought for sure it wouldn’t be for two years.” Manda laughs, way out on her guess.
“I think you were the closest.” Kelly turns to me.
“I said Thanksgiving.”
“Yep, you were. So you win.”
“I did?” I look to Bell and watch her grin.
“Drinks on you, Kenzie!” She cheers, offering me a high five and as quick as they were drilling me about Beau, our girls’ night out turns into an engagement celebration for Bell and Jesse.
I listen to the conversation, but keep my gaze off Lissy, not wanting to draw attention to the discomfort she causes in me. Bell, oblivious to our tension, begins to chat about her and Jesse’s plans for the wedding. I tune out for a while, not that I don’t care for weddings or planning them, but just to take stock of my life the last few months.
As much as I’ve finally found the peace I’ve been searching for since leaving Chad, the guilt is starting to eat me alive. Guilt that my past could come back and hurt these people who have taken me in. On top of the guilt, I miss having Heidi around and having nights like this. I miss the closeness and being able to share everything with her. Sure I have Beau. But there are some things I never want to share with him.
“You okay?” Kadence pulls me out of my head a little while later.
“Yeah, I’m great.” I take another sip of my wine.
“You know, if you ever want to talk. I’m here, Kenz.” She offers me her hand and I give it a small squeeze.
“Thank you, Kadence, but I’m fine.” We don’t do deep again, and the night progresses along with more laughing, drinking, and dancing. After finishing off my third glass of wine, I stand to use the bathroom.
“I’ll be back, ladies. Just heading to the bathroom.” I stand and start to move toward the stairs.
“Wait up, Mackenzie. I’ll come with you,” Lissy calls out before I can make it away.
Shit.
“Sure.” I slow my escape and let her catch up. She smiles as we take the stairs, neither of us speaking.
“Mackenzie, have I done something to upset you?” she asks when we hit the lower floor and start to move to the bathroom.
“No, why?” I push open the door to the bathroom door and let her walk in before me.
“I just wanted to clear the air.” She stops short of the toilet stall.
“I don’t know why you would need to, Lissy.” I decide to play dumb.
“I know you know about me and Beau.” I know what she’s trying to do, but I don’t want to discuss this with her. Not here. Not now. Not ever.
“Lissy, I have no problem with you. Don’t make one.” I enter my stall and close the door. Maybe that was a bitch move. Maybe I just made it worse, but what does she expect? I would much rather we pretend she hasn’t had sex with my man.
After using the toilet, I step up to the vanity and wash my hands. Lissy is already done and stands awkwardly off to the side.
“I’ll meet you back upstairs.” She turns to leave when I keep my eyes in front of me.
“Wait, Lissy,” I call back to her before she goes. “I’m not trying to be a bitch. I just really don’t want to discuss you and Beau.” I reach for the paper towel and dry my hands.
“I get this is the last thing you want to talk about, I do. I just wanted to clear the air. We have mutual friends. I don’t want to make it any more awkward.”
“Well, consider it clear,” I offer her what she needs. She nods once then leaves. I give it a few extra minutes before following her out. I don’t make my way straight upstairs, instead opting for the bar instead.
“You okay, Mackenzie?” Jesse asks when I step up to the bar.
“Yeah, just wanted some water.” He gives me a wink and asks one of the bartenders to get it for me.
