“No, but I figured that was probably what caused his scars.”
She stared at me for a moment as she processed that bit. “And his wife?” she asked with reluctance.
“I just found out he had been married and that she died.”
She contemplated for a moment as if she was wondering exactly how much to tell me. “I made it to the accident scene because I was getting off the elevator when Nathan was rushing on, and he said to Jack that you were in an accident. I followed after him, running as well, which you know how hard that is in heels. Anyway, when I got there he was calling out your name; the police were trying to move him back behind the line. You were unconscious on the stretcher and you…”
“Caroline?”
Tears slid down her cheeks. “I thought you were dead. There was so much blood. Nathan saw you and lost it. He had a massive panic attack, which I wouldn’t have known the signs of if it wasn’t for you. It was…terrible to see, much worse than when I watched you. They had to sedate him before, I don’t know, he had a heart attack or something.”
“Why?” I asked, confused. Why did he care?
“Why what?”
“Why was he having a panic attack?”
She stared at me with her eyes wide before she leaned in. “Lila…because he thought he’d lost you; he thought you were dead.”
“He didn’t have me to lose.” My breathing picked up as the emotional pain tightened my chest. “He threw me away.”
A pained expression crossed her face. “As much as I hate him for hurting you, I think…I think he’s in love with you.”
“He said that.”
“He did?” she asked, surprised.
“Yes, but I don’t believe it.”
“Why not?”
“Why would he throw me away if he loved me? I’ve been thrown away and thrown around and none of those people loved me,” I said, my eyes trained on the ceiling.
Her fingers were shaking as they glided across my arm. “People sometimes do it when they love someone.”
“So, you’re telling me that all people throw you away, whether they love you or not? Why do I want to live in a place like that?” My chest was screaming at me. I tried to lie back and calm down in hopes it would help, but the movement caused my leg to jostle, and I almost passed out from the combined pain that cut through me.
It was time for a new dosage of pain meds.
“Please don’t talk like that,” she begged.
“Why? You’re telling me it doesn’t matter; I’m going to be thrown away anyway! I should have killed myself when I was younger. That van should have done me in!” I cried out, tears streaming from my eyes. I struggled for breath, the pain unbearable.
“Lila…” Caroline’s voice faded away, a tear falling down her cheek.
“Don’t you ever f**king say that again!” Nathan’s voice growled from the door.
I gasped and turned my head to find Nathan, eyes blazing with fury, standing in the doorway with a few people behind him. The action was too fast. I was hit with dizziness, my head falling back onto the pillow.
In a flash he was standing over me, his features concerned. There was so much force behind his expression I wasn’t sure if I could handle it.
“Please, don’t ever say that again… Don’t leave me, Lila.”
His fingers brushed against my cheeks, and I had to forcibly stop myself from leaning into his touch. It hurt, but in a different way. My heart fractured again at the look on his face I caused. My gaze moved to anywhere but his eyes. That was when I noticed he was back in his suit, minus the tie.
“You left me,” I said.
His fingers dropped, his hand returning to his side. “Let me explain. Please? I need you.”
“Sorry, I don’t think I’m fit to help you out at the moment,” I sneered, turning to look up at him.
I was going to go into a rant, to dig into him more, but the expression he wore stopped me. The mask was once again gone, and I was astonished by the emotions emitting from the man in front of me. The pain he held was visible, etched into his perfect features.
“I’ll make it up to you. I promise,” he said in a low voice.
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. There was no response. He’d never promised me anything before. The word had never slipped past his lips.
A throat cleared behind him, and I craned my head around to see his father standing next to a woman with dark brown hair speckled with grey and a soft, sad smile. Another woman with the same dark hair was also with them, and Andrew made up the rear.
“It’s getting late, Nathan. We need to get you home,” George said.
I felt a tugging at my waist and glanced down to find Nathan’s hand fisted in the thin hospital blanket and my wonderful hospital gown.
“I…please?” Nathan begged.
Sadness washed over the older man’s face. “Visiting hours are over, and Lila needs to get some rest.”
Nathan stared back at his father, beseeching him.
While he did that, Caroline stood from the chair and leaned forward, placing a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” Her hands smoothed the hair from my face. “I love you.”
I squeezed her hand. “Bye. Love you, too.”
She walked toward the door, glaring at Nathan as she went.
“I’ll be back around lunch to check on you,” she said upon parting through the crowd and exiting.
“Lila,” the older woman began, “I’m glad you’re okay.”
I stared at her for a moment before remembering my manners. Even if I didn’t know who she was, I still needed to be polite. Teresa would be disappointed otherwise. “Thank you.”
She gave a tight smile before exiting as well, George right behind her.
“I’ll be back in the morning,” Nathan said. I roamed my eyes back up to him, one of the few things that didn’t hurt to move. He leaned down and also placed a kiss on my forehead. My heart hammered in my chest at his closeness. I wanted to tilt my head up and capture his lips in mine. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
He walked out the door and my chest seared, but for a different reason than the bruised ribs. Moisture filled my eyes before flooding down my cheeks.
From my periphery, Andrew’s tall, lanky form walked over to me.
She stared at me for a moment as she processed that bit. “And his wife?” she asked with reluctance.
“I just found out he had been married and that she died.”
She contemplated for a moment as if she was wondering exactly how much to tell me. “I made it to the accident scene because I was getting off the elevator when Nathan was rushing on, and he said to Jack that you were in an accident. I followed after him, running as well, which you know how hard that is in heels. Anyway, when I got there he was calling out your name; the police were trying to move him back behind the line. You were unconscious on the stretcher and you…”
“Caroline?”
Tears slid down her cheeks. “I thought you were dead. There was so much blood. Nathan saw you and lost it. He had a massive panic attack, which I wouldn’t have known the signs of if it wasn’t for you. It was…terrible to see, much worse than when I watched you. They had to sedate him before, I don’t know, he had a heart attack or something.”
“Why?” I asked, confused. Why did he care?
“Why what?”
“Why was he having a panic attack?”
She stared at me with her eyes wide before she leaned in. “Lila…because he thought he’d lost you; he thought you were dead.”
“He didn’t have me to lose.” My breathing picked up as the emotional pain tightened my chest. “He threw me away.”
A pained expression crossed her face. “As much as I hate him for hurting you, I think…I think he’s in love with you.”
“He said that.”
“He did?” she asked, surprised.
“Yes, but I don’t believe it.”
“Why not?”
“Why would he throw me away if he loved me? I’ve been thrown away and thrown around and none of those people loved me,” I said, my eyes trained on the ceiling.
Her fingers were shaking as they glided across my arm. “People sometimes do it when they love someone.”
“So, you’re telling me that all people throw you away, whether they love you or not? Why do I want to live in a place like that?” My chest was screaming at me. I tried to lie back and calm down in hopes it would help, but the movement caused my leg to jostle, and I almost passed out from the combined pain that cut through me.
It was time for a new dosage of pain meds.
“Please don’t talk like that,” she begged.
“Why? You’re telling me it doesn’t matter; I’m going to be thrown away anyway! I should have killed myself when I was younger. That van should have done me in!” I cried out, tears streaming from my eyes. I struggled for breath, the pain unbearable.
“Lila…” Caroline’s voice faded away, a tear falling down her cheek.
“Don’t you ever f**king say that again!” Nathan’s voice growled from the door.
I gasped and turned my head to find Nathan, eyes blazing with fury, standing in the doorway with a few people behind him. The action was too fast. I was hit with dizziness, my head falling back onto the pillow.
In a flash he was standing over me, his features concerned. There was so much force behind his expression I wasn’t sure if I could handle it.
“Please, don’t ever say that again… Don’t leave me, Lila.”
His fingers brushed against my cheeks, and I had to forcibly stop myself from leaning into his touch. It hurt, but in a different way. My heart fractured again at the look on his face I caused. My gaze moved to anywhere but his eyes. That was when I noticed he was back in his suit, minus the tie.
“You left me,” I said.
His fingers dropped, his hand returning to his side. “Let me explain. Please? I need you.”
“Sorry, I don’t think I’m fit to help you out at the moment,” I sneered, turning to look up at him.
I was going to go into a rant, to dig into him more, but the expression he wore stopped me. The mask was once again gone, and I was astonished by the emotions emitting from the man in front of me. The pain he held was visible, etched into his perfect features.
“I’ll make it up to you. I promise,” he said in a low voice.
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. There was no response. He’d never promised me anything before. The word had never slipped past his lips.
A throat cleared behind him, and I craned my head around to see his father standing next to a woman with dark brown hair speckled with grey and a soft, sad smile. Another woman with the same dark hair was also with them, and Andrew made up the rear.
“It’s getting late, Nathan. We need to get you home,” George said.
I felt a tugging at my waist and glanced down to find Nathan’s hand fisted in the thin hospital blanket and my wonderful hospital gown.
“I…please?” Nathan begged.
Sadness washed over the older man’s face. “Visiting hours are over, and Lila needs to get some rest.”
Nathan stared back at his father, beseeching him.
While he did that, Caroline stood from the chair and leaned forward, placing a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” Her hands smoothed the hair from my face. “I love you.”
I squeezed her hand. “Bye. Love you, too.”
She walked toward the door, glaring at Nathan as she went.
“I’ll be back around lunch to check on you,” she said upon parting through the crowd and exiting.
“Lila,” the older woman began, “I’m glad you’re okay.”
I stared at her for a moment before remembering my manners. Even if I didn’t know who she was, I still needed to be polite. Teresa would be disappointed otherwise. “Thank you.”
She gave a tight smile before exiting as well, George right behind her.
“I’ll be back in the morning,” Nathan said. I roamed my eyes back up to him, one of the few things that didn’t hurt to move. He leaned down and also placed a kiss on my forehead. My heart hammered in my chest at his closeness. I wanted to tilt my head up and capture his lips in mine. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
He walked out the door and my chest seared, but for a different reason than the bruised ribs. Moisture filled my eyes before flooding down my cheeks.
From my periphery, Andrew’s tall, lanky form walked over to me.
