“He will never f**king touch you again. He will never be anywhere near you unless it’s in the courtroom. I will do everything in my power to make damn certain that f**ker never breathes free air again.”
I believed him, and I held a desperate hope he could. The accusations tolled up in my head, but would they be enough to lock him away for good? Nathan had done the impossible with one of the Marconi, putting them away, but would he be successful when my family was involved? And could he do this without putting himself back in harm’s way by bringing attention to where he was? It was all too frightening and overwhelming to think about, and the scariest thing of all was I knew he’d do this for me without sparing it a second thought. I knew his natural inclinations as a damn fine, unstoppable lawyer would kick in. Would I be able to stop him if he set his mind to do it?
Nathan let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around me. My security blanket. In an instant I felt calmer, and placed a kiss on his neck, but the tears still trickled down.
“I love you, so much.” I needed him to know as I fisted my hands in his shirt.
“Not as much as I love you,” he replied, kissing my lips.
Not long after, Nathan crawled up onto the narrow hospital bed at my urging. His arms wrapped around me and we both drifted back off to sleep.
Rules were meant to be broken. Nobody knew that better than us.
A few short hours later, the bed stirred and my eyes opened. He gave me an apologetic look as he gathered his things.
I sighed, knowing he couldn’t miss work as well; it would raise too many suspicions. How much longer would we put up with all the pretenses? How much longer would we suffer being so close, yet so far away from one another?
He gave me a sound kiss, told me he loved me, and he would see me soon. My hand stretched out as he stepped away, not wanting to let go of his. I knew he wanted to stay, but we both knew why he had to go. He also had to leave so he could tell Jack what happened and that I wouldn’t be in.
I was released a few hours later, Teresa and Sarah teaming up to take me home. It was difficult to walk, hunched over from the pain in my stomach. Doctor’s orders had me resting for the remainder of the week.
Everything was fine as we rode in the elevator and walked down the hall. Though as soon as the door opened, I couldn’t enter. The evidence was still there: crime scene tape, the shattered vase and mirror. I started hyperventilating as memories of the attack crashed down on me, and I stumbled back out into the hallway wall.
“I can’t, I can’t,” I pleaded and they both understood, shutting the door.
Teresa rushed over to me, wrapping her arms around me and whispered soft words. “It’s okay. You don’t ever have to go back in there if you don’t want to. We’ll take care of everything.”
I couldn’t explain my reaction; it was so strange. When I was younger I was used to going back to the scene of the crime, because it was home, and I had no other choice. But for some reason, it was different. Maybe because I was so certain I was going to die. Or maybe it was because I had made this home my sanctuary, my safe place, and Adam had come in and destroyed that within a matter of moments. All I knew was I couldn’t go back in.
Taking my hand, they helped me up to Nathan’s condo, and I settled into his bed. I was hoping for his scent to be lingering on the pillows and sheets to help soothe me, but it’d been so long since he’d slept there, any trace of him had faded. Months spent in my condo left his empty of a presence I needed.
Moving to the dresser, I pulled out one of his Harvard shirts that hadn’t made their way down to my place and slipped it on. I needed to be near him in any way that I could.
He was my safe place now—my sanctuary I could always turn to.
I awoke to soft, gentle kisses, feather light against my skin. My eyes strained against the light in the room, the angle of the sun telling me it was sometime around noon. I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep.
“Nathan?” My eyes searched out where the kisses were taking place, wondering what he was doing home.
My head turned and there he was, staring down at me with trepidation in his eyes. “How are you feeling, Honeybear?”
“I’m…I have no answer besides happy you’re here. What are you doing here?”
“I’m having lunch.”
My brow scrunched. “What are you having?”
“I was hoping for some lovey hugs. I have a desperate need for them.”
My hands wound around his neck while his wrapped around my body. “I need them, as well.”
Our time was short, lying there touching and caressing. It was what we both needed, a connection to the other. To feel each other and know the other was alive.
Tender touches, soft kisses, and tears. Everything was so raw and fresh, and I knew we needed to see Dr. Morgenson before the day was over.
Darren came over as soon as Nathan arrived home after work. We moved into the bedroom so that I could lie down. Sarah left with a promise that she would be back the next day.
As soon as we were in the room, I had an indescribable need to tell Dr. Morgenson, and Nathan, a detailed description of what happened. It was like I was purging the images from my mind by putting them into words. Somehow it was more real, I wasn’t making it up. They would believe me; there was no one there to discredit me.
No tears spilled as I spoke. I felt like I was having a strange, out-of-body experience as I recounted the gory details.
Nathan couldn’t stay with me on the bed; he was distressed hearing all that occurred. His hands were pulling at his neck as he paced.
There was a loud crunching sound as I described the end when he was trying to rape me. Nathan had punched the wall, splintering the drywall.
Somehow, with everything that happened, all I could think was “Oh, Erin is going to kill you.” How odd. Was I used to being attacked, or had I cracked again and didn’t know it?
Nathan was hanging his head and berating himself. Darren managed to get through to him, and he returned to me. The doctor also told him he’d deal with Nathan’s wall punching habit very soon. Granted, it was the first time in months it had happened.
I went back to telling them what had taken place. The tears had started when I began talking about the end. All I could think of was my last thought for Nathan, begging his forgiveness for dying.
“I want to pull you inside me so you’re safe,” he said as he climbed back onto the bed and wrapped his body around mine.
I believed him, and I held a desperate hope he could. The accusations tolled up in my head, but would they be enough to lock him away for good? Nathan had done the impossible with one of the Marconi, putting them away, but would he be successful when my family was involved? And could he do this without putting himself back in harm’s way by bringing attention to where he was? It was all too frightening and overwhelming to think about, and the scariest thing of all was I knew he’d do this for me without sparing it a second thought. I knew his natural inclinations as a damn fine, unstoppable lawyer would kick in. Would I be able to stop him if he set his mind to do it?
Nathan let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around me. My security blanket. In an instant I felt calmer, and placed a kiss on his neck, but the tears still trickled down.
“I love you, so much.” I needed him to know as I fisted my hands in his shirt.
“Not as much as I love you,” he replied, kissing my lips.
Not long after, Nathan crawled up onto the narrow hospital bed at my urging. His arms wrapped around me and we both drifted back off to sleep.
Rules were meant to be broken. Nobody knew that better than us.
A few short hours later, the bed stirred and my eyes opened. He gave me an apologetic look as he gathered his things.
I sighed, knowing he couldn’t miss work as well; it would raise too many suspicions. How much longer would we put up with all the pretenses? How much longer would we suffer being so close, yet so far away from one another?
He gave me a sound kiss, told me he loved me, and he would see me soon. My hand stretched out as he stepped away, not wanting to let go of his. I knew he wanted to stay, but we both knew why he had to go. He also had to leave so he could tell Jack what happened and that I wouldn’t be in.
I was released a few hours later, Teresa and Sarah teaming up to take me home. It was difficult to walk, hunched over from the pain in my stomach. Doctor’s orders had me resting for the remainder of the week.
Everything was fine as we rode in the elevator and walked down the hall. Though as soon as the door opened, I couldn’t enter. The evidence was still there: crime scene tape, the shattered vase and mirror. I started hyperventilating as memories of the attack crashed down on me, and I stumbled back out into the hallway wall.
“I can’t, I can’t,” I pleaded and they both understood, shutting the door.
Teresa rushed over to me, wrapping her arms around me and whispered soft words. “It’s okay. You don’t ever have to go back in there if you don’t want to. We’ll take care of everything.”
I couldn’t explain my reaction; it was so strange. When I was younger I was used to going back to the scene of the crime, because it was home, and I had no other choice. But for some reason, it was different. Maybe because I was so certain I was going to die. Or maybe it was because I had made this home my sanctuary, my safe place, and Adam had come in and destroyed that within a matter of moments. All I knew was I couldn’t go back in.
Taking my hand, they helped me up to Nathan’s condo, and I settled into his bed. I was hoping for his scent to be lingering on the pillows and sheets to help soothe me, but it’d been so long since he’d slept there, any trace of him had faded. Months spent in my condo left his empty of a presence I needed.
Moving to the dresser, I pulled out one of his Harvard shirts that hadn’t made their way down to my place and slipped it on. I needed to be near him in any way that I could.
He was my safe place now—my sanctuary I could always turn to.
I awoke to soft, gentle kisses, feather light against my skin. My eyes strained against the light in the room, the angle of the sun telling me it was sometime around noon. I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep.
“Nathan?” My eyes searched out where the kisses were taking place, wondering what he was doing home.
My head turned and there he was, staring down at me with trepidation in his eyes. “How are you feeling, Honeybear?”
“I’m…I have no answer besides happy you’re here. What are you doing here?”
“I’m having lunch.”
My brow scrunched. “What are you having?”
“I was hoping for some lovey hugs. I have a desperate need for them.”
My hands wound around his neck while his wrapped around my body. “I need them, as well.”
Our time was short, lying there touching and caressing. It was what we both needed, a connection to the other. To feel each other and know the other was alive.
Tender touches, soft kisses, and tears. Everything was so raw and fresh, and I knew we needed to see Dr. Morgenson before the day was over.
Darren came over as soon as Nathan arrived home after work. We moved into the bedroom so that I could lie down. Sarah left with a promise that she would be back the next day.
As soon as we were in the room, I had an indescribable need to tell Dr. Morgenson, and Nathan, a detailed description of what happened. It was like I was purging the images from my mind by putting them into words. Somehow it was more real, I wasn’t making it up. They would believe me; there was no one there to discredit me.
No tears spilled as I spoke. I felt like I was having a strange, out-of-body experience as I recounted the gory details.
Nathan couldn’t stay with me on the bed; he was distressed hearing all that occurred. His hands were pulling at his neck as he paced.
There was a loud crunching sound as I described the end when he was trying to rape me. Nathan had punched the wall, splintering the drywall.
Somehow, with everything that happened, all I could think was “Oh, Erin is going to kill you.” How odd. Was I used to being attacked, or had I cracked again and didn’t know it?
Nathan was hanging his head and berating himself. Darren managed to get through to him, and he returned to me. The doctor also told him he’d deal with Nathan’s wall punching habit very soon. Granted, it was the first time in months it had happened.
I went back to telling them what had taken place. The tears had started when I began talking about the end. All I could think of was my last thought for Nathan, begging his forgiveness for dying.
“I want to pull you inside me so you’re safe,” he said as he climbed back onto the bed and wrapped his body around mine.
