“Erin!” Nathan said with a hiss.
She stared back at him. “What? It’s not like you were in any shape to do it.”
“She’s going to stay with me.”
I lay there and watched the odd conversation unfold before me, lost in what was centered around me.
“She cannot stay there! Not with the ‘redecorating’ you’ve done.” Her fingers made air quotations for the word.
“Redecorating?” I asked, and they both turned to look at me.
Nathan’s jaw tightened and he held a pained expression, while Erin’s was a little frightening, in a maniacal sort of way.
“Erin,” Nathan growled in warning, but she just shrugged him off.
“He lost it and tore down all the dry wall with his bare hands the night he left you.”
His fist slammed down on the bed next to me. “Damn it. Always sticking your fingers in things.”
Erin rolled her eyes. “She has a right to know just how crazy you are about her. And, f**k, it’s been years; let me have a moment of finger sticking.”
“What you just described sounds psychotic,” Nathan said with a huff.
“I’m no expert there. Should I get Darren?” Erin asked in a sweet, condescending tone.
My brain was still processing what all I had heard in the last hour and that bit pushed me over the edge. “How the f**k did you get into my damn condo?”
They stopped their childish argument, then Erin turned to me and squeezed my hand. “Your friend Caroline; we were getting it ready for you.”
My brain hurt. I was so confused. “Why the hell were you there? Who are you?”
“This is my cousin. Sorry, she lacks manners.”
“Oh!” It clicked into place.
All I could think about was how everyone was making decisions for me and treating me like a child. I looked between Nathan and Erin, and with each turn of my head my expression soured and my anger grew. These two, one I didn’t know and the other who threw me away, were going to make decisions on my behalf? They knew what was best for me?
Oh, hell no.
I’d spent the first half of my life with people making decisions for me, from how I acted to how I would feel about myself.
Who did they think they were? Did my opinion matter at all? Was I going to have any say in what my life was like and who my time was spent with over the next who knew how many weeks?
The answer was no.
I lost it.
“Out!” Nathan’s head snapped to me, his expression full of shock and fear. “I said get out!”
“Lila, please.” He reached out to me, but I pulled away as best I could. “Not this again! You need my help whether you want to admit it or not.”
My heart broke further from the pain that flooded his beautiful face from my reaction. Hadn’t he destroyed me enough? He said he loved me, but with all that had happened in the last two weeks, did he really expected me to just forget? I wasn’t so desperate I could flip that switch. He hurt me, deeper than anyone before. From what had transpired over the last half an hour, I knew he had hurt himself, as well.
“I’ll leave these here for you,” Erin said with a sad smile, placing the bag on the empty chair next to the bed.
My chest burned, and I struggled to breathe.
“Lila,” he began, but I stopped him.
“I said get out!” I couldn’t stand to have him there at that moment.
I watched the two of them walk out, Erin dragging Nathan backward by the arm.
The nurse walked in a moment later, and she cursed under her breath about them upsetting me. I was gasping for air, and seconds later she added something into my IV.
I welcomed the sweet relief from the pain. The relief I felt from not thinking was what I welcomed most. I’d heard too much about Nathan and the pain he was in, which pointed to his declaration being true. That was bad; that could spark hope, and the last thing I needed him to give me was hope.
Especially if it had anything to do with him and my heart. I was done being hurt.
CHAPTER 3
I stared at the speckled ceiling tiles, counting each irregular dot in my boredom. I’d been at it for hours.
There were 516 on the tile directly above my head.
I felt like Edmond Dantes from The Count of Monte Cristo in that moment, in his cell on Château d’If.
If there was a hell, I was certain I was in it. Half crazy, all broken, pain radiating through all of my body and soul.
Nathan’s words didn’t help. I’d accepted that he didn’t want me, that he was through with me. Part of me wanted to run into his arms, but another part reminded me of the pain from his heartbreaking note.
Round and round I went with myself, neither side winning. The only thing I could do was count the holes, since I had no answers. I was halfway through the tile to my right, the fourth in my dive into crazy town, when a light tapping on the door drew my attention. I glanced to the door with my eyes, not wanting to move my head, and found the heat had been turned up on my hellish fire.
“Can I come in?” Erin asked in a small voice.
“Why?”
She took a step into the room, and I scowled at her. She halted her movements, her hands fidgeting with her purse.
“Lila, I wanted to apologize for the other day. My behavior with Nate was unacceptable, I, well… I was happy.”
“Happy?” There was a definite edge to my voice.
She held up her hand. “Let me explain, please.” She walked forward and sat on the chair at my bedside. “I was happy, not because of what happened to you, because that was horrible, and not for what he did, because I kicked him in his bad shin for that.”
I fought a smile as I envisioned his pain, but it also made me sad he was hurt. Internally I hung my head; it was pathetic how much I was in love with him.
“I was happy because, for the first time in four years, I could see light in his eyes and a sweet smile on his face. Nate is like a brother to me; we’re practically twins,” she said with a smile.
“You don’t look anything alike.”
She let out a laugh. “Well, he’s only two weeks older than I am, and we were inseparable as kids. My parents were often out of the country, so I spent half my time at Aunt Sarah and Uncle George’s. We went to school together from preschool all the way up until college. If we hadn’t had different last names, most kids in school thought we were twins. He then went off to college and got married, and I gained a wonderful sister.”
She stared back at him. “What? It’s not like you were in any shape to do it.”
“She’s going to stay with me.”
I lay there and watched the odd conversation unfold before me, lost in what was centered around me.
“She cannot stay there! Not with the ‘redecorating’ you’ve done.” Her fingers made air quotations for the word.
“Redecorating?” I asked, and they both turned to look at me.
Nathan’s jaw tightened and he held a pained expression, while Erin’s was a little frightening, in a maniacal sort of way.
“Erin,” Nathan growled in warning, but she just shrugged him off.
“He lost it and tore down all the dry wall with his bare hands the night he left you.”
His fist slammed down on the bed next to me. “Damn it. Always sticking your fingers in things.”
Erin rolled her eyes. “She has a right to know just how crazy you are about her. And, f**k, it’s been years; let me have a moment of finger sticking.”
“What you just described sounds psychotic,” Nathan said with a huff.
“I’m no expert there. Should I get Darren?” Erin asked in a sweet, condescending tone.
My brain was still processing what all I had heard in the last hour and that bit pushed me over the edge. “How the f**k did you get into my damn condo?”
They stopped their childish argument, then Erin turned to me and squeezed my hand. “Your friend Caroline; we were getting it ready for you.”
My brain hurt. I was so confused. “Why the hell were you there? Who are you?”
“This is my cousin. Sorry, she lacks manners.”
“Oh!” It clicked into place.
All I could think about was how everyone was making decisions for me and treating me like a child. I looked between Nathan and Erin, and with each turn of my head my expression soured and my anger grew. These two, one I didn’t know and the other who threw me away, were going to make decisions on my behalf? They knew what was best for me?
Oh, hell no.
I’d spent the first half of my life with people making decisions for me, from how I acted to how I would feel about myself.
Who did they think they were? Did my opinion matter at all? Was I going to have any say in what my life was like and who my time was spent with over the next who knew how many weeks?
The answer was no.
I lost it.
“Out!” Nathan’s head snapped to me, his expression full of shock and fear. “I said get out!”
“Lila, please.” He reached out to me, but I pulled away as best I could. “Not this again! You need my help whether you want to admit it or not.”
My heart broke further from the pain that flooded his beautiful face from my reaction. Hadn’t he destroyed me enough? He said he loved me, but with all that had happened in the last two weeks, did he really expected me to just forget? I wasn’t so desperate I could flip that switch. He hurt me, deeper than anyone before. From what had transpired over the last half an hour, I knew he had hurt himself, as well.
“I’ll leave these here for you,” Erin said with a sad smile, placing the bag on the empty chair next to the bed.
My chest burned, and I struggled to breathe.
“Lila,” he began, but I stopped him.
“I said get out!” I couldn’t stand to have him there at that moment.
I watched the two of them walk out, Erin dragging Nathan backward by the arm.
The nurse walked in a moment later, and she cursed under her breath about them upsetting me. I was gasping for air, and seconds later she added something into my IV.
I welcomed the sweet relief from the pain. The relief I felt from not thinking was what I welcomed most. I’d heard too much about Nathan and the pain he was in, which pointed to his declaration being true. That was bad; that could spark hope, and the last thing I needed him to give me was hope.
Especially if it had anything to do with him and my heart. I was done being hurt.
CHAPTER 3
I stared at the speckled ceiling tiles, counting each irregular dot in my boredom. I’d been at it for hours.
There were 516 on the tile directly above my head.
I felt like Edmond Dantes from The Count of Monte Cristo in that moment, in his cell on Château d’If.
If there was a hell, I was certain I was in it. Half crazy, all broken, pain radiating through all of my body and soul.
Nathan’s words didn’t help. I’d accepted that he didn’t want me, that he was through with me. Part of me wanted to run into his arms, but another part reminded me of the pain from his heartbreaking note.
Round and round I went with myself, neither side winning. The only thing I could do was count the holes, since I had no answers. I was halfway through the tile to my right, the fourth in my dive into crazy town, when a light tapping on the door drew my attention. I glanced to the door with my eyes, not wanting to move my head, and found the heat had been turned up on my hellish fire.
“Can I come in?” Erin asked in a small voice.
“Why?”
She took a step into the room, and I scowled at her. She halted her movements, her hands fidgeting with her purse.
“Lila, I wanted to apologize for the other day. My behavior with Nate was unacceptable, I, well… I was happy.”
“Happy?” There was a definite edge to my voice.
She held up her hand. “Let me explain, please.” She walked forward and sat on the chair at my bedside. “I was happy, not because of what happened to you, because that was horrible, and not for what he did, because I kicked him in his bad shin for that.”
I fought a smile as I envisioned his pain, but it also made me sad he was hurt. Internally I hung my head; it was pathetic how much I was in love with him.
“I was happy because, for the first time in four years, I could see light in his eyes and a sweet smile on his face. Nate is like a brother to me; we’re practically twins,” she said with a smile.
“You don’t look anything alike.”
She let out a laugh. “Well, he’s only two weeks older than I am, and we were inseparable as kids. My parents were often out of the country, so I spent half my time at Aunt Sarah and Uncle George’s. We went to school together from preschool all the way up until college. If we hadn’t had different last names, most kids in school thought we were twins. He then went off to college and got married, and I gained a wonderful sister.”
