“Doctor,” Travis interrupted, “Mr. Harrington left strict instructions—”
I stood taller, strengthened my voice, and addressed the room. “Doctors, the necessary documentation is in my husband’s chart. You may call Parker Craven of Craven and Knowles if you have questions. For now, I’m not wasting my husband’s final hours arguing a point that very soon will be irrelevant. Right now, I’d like to have some time alone with my husband.”
“Of course, Mrs. Harrington. We can monitor Mr. Harrington’s vitals from the next room. Just know that if he needs us, medically, we’ll come in.”
“Yes, doctor…” I said as I looked toward his IV. Multiple bags hung on contraptions with tubes going into one tube that was taped to the inside of his arm. “…the pain medication?”
“We’ll check that documentation while you speak to your husband.”
I nodded as the room emptied. When only Travis and I remained with Stewart, I turned back to Stewart’s open blue eyes and spoke to Travis. “Once Mr. Harrington and I are finished, I expect you to meet me in my office. We have something to discuss.”
“I will stay here…”
I spun toward him. “No, you will not. I’ll speak with Stewart alone. When I’m done, you will meet me in my office.” I paused. When Travis didn’t respond, I continued, “The appropriate response is yes, Mrs. Harrington.”
Clenching his jaws, Travis replied, “Yes, Mrs. Harrington.”
Once the door closed, I turned back to Stewart, walked toward him, and sat at the edge of his bed. Leaning closer I spoke in a low whisper. “You do realize this is it, don’t you? You are fucking going to die.” His blue eyes widened. “Now, Stewart, that isn’t enough of an answer. I know you can hear me. Nod if you understand.”
Again his eyes widened.
“Tsk, tsk.” I touched his cheek. “Before you go, there’s something I’ve been waiting to tell you. You know how you enjoy watching? Nod, motherfucker.”
Stewart’s head bobbed as much as it could with the restrictions of the intubation tube.
“Well, I have a secret. I’ve enjoyed watching too.”
Question clouded his blue stare.
“You see, the doctors were obviously perplexed by your rapid onset of leukemia. I mean, look at you. Oh, don’t look now. Now you look like shit. You smell like shit too, but there was a time, a time you were quite fit and handsome, rather cocky too. Ha!” I laughed. “Cocky sure couldn’t describe what you have left. Now,” I patted his arm. “Don’t let me digress. I don’t want you entering hell without truly understanding who put you on the fucking express.” I leaned even closer. “I did! Now, as you enter the gates with the fire and brimstone, know that the hell you put me through for the last fucking nine years was nothing compared to the eternity you’ll suffer for what you did. Watching you rot away here on earth was satisfying for me.” I sat up. “Yes, you’re right: watching has been incredibly rewarding. I’m fucking getting wet thinking about it. Over the last year and a half, I’ve been able to sit back and watch you deny, get mad, spend a fucking fortune to make it go away, sulk, and now… with only hours left… maybe accept your fate.”
I stopped and smoothed the material of my dress over my legs. Looking back to his glare, I went on, “I realize this is a lot for your chemo-brain to comprehend, so nod if you understand me.”
Stewart’s head moved from side to side.
I cocked my head. “What? Am I too young? Am I too dumb? I mean, you didn’t want me going to college. However, I’m not fucking stupid. I made a way, provided the perfect source. Did you know that radiation causes cancer?”
Stewart blinked.
“Yes, there are all sorts of documented cases of cancer from radiation. Well, it doesn’t take a fucking nuclear-plant meltdown to cause radiation exposure. No.” I couldn’t stop the grin as my cheeks rose. “Cesium pellets can emit enough radiation to kill cancerous tumors. But…” I lowered my voice as the excitement at my long-awaited confession rambled forth. “…but that’s when the cesium pellets are placed within the cancerous tumors. Do you know what happens when healthy cells are exposed to excessive amounts of localized radiation? Do you?”
Stewart blinked again.
“Those healthy cells mutate. That means they change. It was a gamble. I had no way of knowing how they would change. But from your first symptoms, the headaches and hair loss, I knew I was on to something.”
Stewart’s eyes closed.
“Oh, no, motherfucker. Do not die on me yet. I want you to know that even though I planted the fucking pellets, it was your kinky-assed shit that did you in. Guess where you were exposed to these high doses of radiation.”
His head shook from side to side, with his eyes still closed.
“Open your fucking eyes. I want to see what you’re thinking. You will fucking understand what I’m about to say and then you will confirm your understanding with a nod. That’s the way we do things, isn’t it, Mr. Harrington?”
Slowly, his eyes opened and he nodded.
“That’s a good boy. The answer to my question was in your fucking chair at the warehouse. Every time you sat your ass in that chair and watched as you ruined my life for your entertainment, you exposed yourself to radiation.” I shrugged. “It didn’t take long for the symptoms to start, but I couldn’t take a chance on your body’s ability to fight it. So I continued the exposure.”
I stood taller, strengthened my voice, and addressed the room. “Doctors, the necessary documentation is in my husband’s chart. You may call Parker Craven of Craven and Knowles if you have questions. For now, I’m not wasting my husband’s final hours arguing a point that very soon will be irrelevant. Right now, I’d like to have some time alone with my husband.”
“Of course, Mrs. Harrington. We can monitor Mr. Harrington’s vitals from the next room. Just know that if he needs us, medically, we’ll come in.”
“Yes, doctor…” I said as I looked toward his IV. Multiple bags hung on contraptions with tubes going into one tube that was taped to the inside of his arm. “…the pain medication?”
“We’ll check that documentation while you speak to your husband.”
I nodded as the room emptied. When only Travis and I remained with Stewart, I turned back to Stewart’s open blue eyes and spoke to Travis. “Once Mr. Harrington and I are finished, I expect you to meet me in my office. We have something to discuss.”
“I will stay here…”
I spun toward him. “No, you will not. I’ll speak with Stewart alone. When I’m done, you will meet me in my office.” I paused. When Travis didn’t respond, I continued, “The appropriate response is yes, Mrs. Harrington.”
Clenching his jaws, Travis replied, “Yes, Mrs. Harrington.”
Once the door closed, I turned back to Stewart, walked toward him, and sat at the edge of his bed. Leaning closer I spoke in a low whisper. “You do realize this is it, don’t you? You are fucking going to die.” His blue eyes widened. “Now, Stewart, that isn’t enough of an answer. I know you can hear me. Nod if you understand.”
Again his eyes widened.
“Tsk, tsk.” I touched his cheek. “Before you go, there’s something I’ve been waiting to tell you. You know how you enjoy watching? Nod, motherfucker.”
Stewart’s head bobbed as much as it could with the restrictions of the intubation tube.
“Well, I have a secret. I’ve enjoyed watching too.”
Question clouded his blue stare.
“You see, the doctors were obviously perplexed by your rapid onset of leukemia. I mean, look at you. Oh, don’t look now. Now you look like shit. You smell like shit too, but there was a time, a time you were quite fit and handsome, rather cocky too. Ha!” I laughed. “Cocky sure couldn’t describe what you have left. Now,” I patted his arm. “Don’t let me digress. I don’t want you entering hell without truly understanding who put you on the fucking express.” I leaned even closer. “I did! Now, as you enter the gates with the fire and brimstone, know that the hell you put me through for the last fucking nine years was nothing compared to the eternity you’ll suffer for what you did. Watching you rot away here on earth was satisfying for me.” I sat up. “Yes, you’re right: watching has been incredibly rewarding. I’m fucking getting wet thinking about it. Over the last year and a half, I’ve been able to sit back and watch you deny, get mad, spend a fucking fortune to make it go away, sulk, and now… with only hours left… maybe accept your fate.”
I stopped and smoothed the material of my dress over my legs. Looking back to his glare, I went on, “I realize this is a lot for your chemo-brain to comprehend, so nod if you understand me.”
Stewart’s head moved from side to side.
I cocked my head. “What? Am I too young? Am I too dumb? I mean, you didn’t want me going to college. However, I’m not fucking stupid. I made a way, provided the perfect source. Did you know that radiation causes cancer?”
Stewart blinked.
“Yes, there are all sorts of documented cases of cancer from radiation. Well, it doesn’t take a fucking nuclear-plant meltdown to cause radiation exposure. No.” I couldn’t stop the grin as my cheeks rose. “Cesium pellets can emit enough radiation to kill cancerous tumors. But…” I lowered my voice as the excitement at my long-awaited confession rambled forth. “…but that’s when the cesium pellets are placed within the cancerous tumors. Do you know what happens when healthy cells are exposed to excessive amounts of localized radiation? Do you?”
Stewart blinked again.
“Those healthy cells mutate. That means they change. It was a gamble. I had no way of knowing how they would change. But from your first symptoms, the headaches and hair loss, I knew I was on to something.”
Stewart’s eyes closed.
“Oh, no, motherfucker. Do not die on me yet. I want you to know that even though I planted the fucking pellets, it was your kinky-assed shit that did you in. Guess where you were exposed to these high doses of radiation.”
His head shook from side to side, with his eyes still closed.
“Open your fucking eyes. I want to see what you’re thinking. You will fucking understand what I’m about to say and then you will confirm your understanding with a nod. That’s the way we do things, isn’t it, Mr. Harrington?”
Slowly, his eyes opened and he nodded.
“That’s a good boy. The answer to my question was in your fucking chair at the warehouse. Every time you sat your ass in that chair and watched as you ruined my life for your entertainment, you exposed yourself to radiation.” I shrugged. “It didn’t take long for the symptoms to start, but I couldn’t take a chance on your body’s ability to fight it. So I continued the exposure.”
