It's Not Summer Without You
Page 15

“Is everything okay?” I whispered.
“Yeah,” he said. He smiled at me, but I didn’t believe it. Something had changed. I just didn’t know what.
I gave him an orchid boutonniere. He forgot to bring my corsage. He’d left it in his little refrigerator back at school, he said. I wasn’t sad or mad. I was embarrassed. All this time, I’d made such a big deal about me and Conrad, how we were some kind of couple. But I’d had to beg him to go to the prom with me, and he hadn’t even remembered to bring me flowers.
I could tell he felt awful when he realized, right at the moment Steven went to the fridge and came back with a wrist corsage, tiny pink roses to match Claire’s dress. He gave her a big bouquet, too.
Claire pulled one of the roses out of her bouquet and handed it to me. “Here,” she said, “we’ll make you a corsage.”
I smiled at her to show I was grateful. “That’s okay. I don’t want to poke a hole in my dress,” I told her. What a crock. She didn’t believe me, but she pretended to. She said, “How about we put it in your hair, then? I think it would look really pretty in your hair.”
“Sure,” I said. Claire Cho was nice. I hoped she and Steven never broke up. I hoped they stayed together forever.
After the thing with the corsage, Conrad tightened up even more. On the way to the car, he grabbed my wrist and said, in a quiet voice, “I’m sorry I forgot your corsage. I should have remembered.”
I swallowed hard and smiled without really opening my mouth. “What kind was it?”
“A white orchid,” he said. “My mom picked it out.”
“Well, for my senior prom, you’ll just have to get me two corsages to make up for it,” I said. “I’ll wear one on each wrist.”
I watched him as I said it. We’d still be together in a year, wouldn’t we? That was what I was asking.
His face didn’t change. He took my arm and said, “Whatever you want, Belly.”
In the car, Steven looked at us in the rearview mirror. “Dude, I can’t believe I’m going on a double date with you and my little sister.” He shook his head and laughed.
Conrad didn’t say anything.
I could already feel the night slipping away from me.
The prom was a joint senior and junior prom. That was the way our school did it. In a way it was nice, because you got to go to prom twice. The seniors got to vote on the theme, and this year, the theme was Old Hollywood. It was at the Water Club, and there was a red carpet and “paparazzi.”
The prom committee had ordered one of those kits, those prom packages. It cost a ton of money; they’d fundraised all spring. There were all of these old movie posters on the walls, and a big blinking Hollywood sign. The dance floor was supposed to look like a movie set, with lights and a fake camera on a tripod. There was even a director’s chair off to the side.
We sat at a table with Taylor and Davis. With her four-and-a-half-inch stilettos, they were the same height.
Conrad hugged Taylor hello, but he didn’t make much of an effort to talk to her or to Davis. He was uncomfortable in his suit, just sitting there. When Davis opened up his jacket and showed off his silver flask to Conrad, I cringed. Maybe Conrad was too old for all this.
Then I saw Cory Wheeler out on the dance floor, in the center of a circle of people, including my brother and Claire. He was break dancing.
I leaned in close to Conrad and whispered, “That’s Cory.”
“Who’s Cory?” he said.
I couldn’t believe he didn’t remember. I just couldn’t believe it. I stared at him for a second, searching his face, and then I moved away from him. “Nobody,” I said.
After we’d been sitting there a few minutes, Taylor grabbed my hand and announced we were going to the bathroom. I was actually relieved.
In the bathroom, she reapplied her lip gloss and whispered to me, “Davis and I are going to his brother’s dorm room after the after-prom.”
“For what?” I said, rummaging around my little purse for my own lip gloss.
She handed me hers. “For, you know. To be alone .” Taylor widened her eyes for emphasis.
“Really? Wow,” I said slowly. “I didn’t know you liked him that much.”
“Well, you’ve been really busy with all your Conrad drama. Which, by the way, he looks hot, but why is he being so lame? Did you guys have a fight?”
“No . . .” I couldn’t look her in the eyes, so I just kept applying lip gloss.
“Belly, don’t take his shit. This is your prom night. I mean, he’s your boyfriend, right?” She fluffed out her hair, posing in the mirror and pouting her lips. “At least make him dance with you.”
When we got back to the table, Conrad and Davis were talking about the NCAA tournament, and I relaxed a little. Davis was a UConn fan, and Conrad liked UNC. Mr. Fisher’s best friend had been a walk-on for the team, and Conrad and Jeremiah were both huge fans. Conrad could talk about Carolina basketball forever.
A slow song came on then, and Taylor took Davis by the hand and they headed out to the dance floor. I watched them dance, her head on his shoulder, his hands on her hips. Pretty soon, Taylor wouldn’t be a virgin anymore. She always said she’d be first.
“Are you thirsty?” Conrad asked me.
“No,” I said. “Do you want to dance?”
He hesitated. “Do we have to?”
I tried to smile. “Come on, you’re the one who supposedly taught me how to slow dance.”
Conrad stood up and offered me his hand. “So let’s dance.”
I gave him my hand and followed him to the middle of the dance floor. We slow danced, and I was glad the music was loud so he couldn’t hear my heart beating.
“I’m glad you came,” I said, looking up at him.
“What?” he asked.
Louder, I said, “I said, I’m glad you came.”
“Me too.” His voice sounded odd; I remember that, the way his voice caught.
Even though he was standing right in front of me, his hands around my waist, mine around his neck, he had never felt so far away.
After, we sat back down at our table. He said, “Do you want to go somewhere?”
“Well, the after-prom doesn’t start till midnight,” I said, fiddling with my pearl necklace. I wound it around my fingers. I couldn’t look at him.
Conrad said, “No, I mean just you and me. Somewhere we can talk.”