I've Got Your Number
Page 95
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Sam glances around, looking embarrassed. “Poppy, cool it,” he mutters. “You’re getting too emotional.”
“Well, you’re staying too calm!” I feel like exploding. “You’re too stoic!” An image suddenly comes to me of those Roman senators, all waiting in the arena to be massacred. “You know something, Sam? You’re turning into stone.”
“Stone?” He gives a burst of laughter.
“Yes, stone. You’ll wake up one day and you’ll be a statue, but you won’t know it. You’ll be trapped inside yourself.” My voice is wobbling; I’m not sure why. It’s nothing to me whether he turns into a statue or not.
Sam is eyeing me warily.
“Poppy, I“ve no idea what you’re talking about. But we have to put this on pause. I have stuff I need to do.” His phone buzzes and he lifts it to his ear. “Hey, Vicks. You made it. OK, on my way.”
“I know you’re dealing with a crisis.” I grab his arm fiercely. “But there’s an old man waiting to hear from you, Sam. Longing to hear from you. For only five minutes. And you know what? I envy you.”
Sam exhales sharply. “For fuck’s sake, Poppy, you’ve got this all wrong.”
“Have I?” I stare up at him, feeling all my buried emotions starting to bubble. “I just wish I had your chance. To see my dad. You don’t know how lucky you are. That’s all.”
A tear trickles down my cheek, and I brush it away brusquely.
Sam is silent. He puts his phone away and faces me square-on. When he speaks, his voice is gentle.
“Listen, Poppy. I can understand how you feel. I don’t mean to trivialize family relationships. I have a very good relationship with my father, and I see him whenever I can. But it’s not that easy, bearing in mind that he lives in Hong Kong.”
I gasp with horror. Are they so out of touch? Did he not even know his father had moved back to this country?
“Sam!” My words tumble out. “You don’t understand! He’s moved back. He lives in Hampshire! He sent you an email. He wanted to see you. Don’t you read anything ?”
Sam throws back his head and roars with laughter, and I stare at him, affronted.
“OK,” he says at last, wiping his eyes. “Let’s start from the beginning. Let’s get this straight. You’re talking about the email from David Robinson, right?”
“No, I’m not! I’m talking about the one from—”
I break off midstream, suddenly uncertain. Robinson? Robinson? I grab my phone and check the email address: [email protected].
I just assumed he was David Roxton. It seemed obvious he was David Roxton.
“Contrary to your assumptions, I did read that email,” Sam is saying. “And I chose to ignore it. Believe me, David Robinson is not my father.”
“But he called himself Dad. ” I’m totally bewildered. “That’s what he wrote. Dad. Is he … your stepdad? Your halfdad?”
“He’s not my dad in any shape or form,” says Sam patiently. “If you must know, when I was at college I hung out with a group of guys. He was one of them. David Andrew Daniel Robinson. D.A.D. Robinson. We called him Dad. OK? Got it, finally?”
He starts walking toward the hotel as though the subject is closed, but I’m rooted to the spot, my mind flitting around in shock. I can’t get over this. Dad isn’t Sam’s dad? Dad is a friend ? How was I supposed to know that? People shouldn’t be allowed to sign themselves as Dad unless they are your dad. It should be the law.
I’ve never felt so stupid in all my life.
Except … Except. As I’m standing there, I can’t help replaying all David Robinson’s emails in my head.
It’s been a long time. I think of you often … . Did you ever get any of my phone messages? Don’t worry, I know you’re a busy fellow … . As I said, there is something I’d love to talk to you about. Are you ever down Hampshire way?
OK. So maybe I got it wrong about Sam’s father and the cottage and the faithful dog. But these words still touch a nerve in me. They sound so humble. So self-effacing. This David is clearly an old, old friend who wants to reach out. Maybe this is another relationship which Sam is leaving to wither. Maybe they’ll see each other and the years will fall away and afterward Sam will thank me and tell me how he needs to value friendship more, he simply didn’t realize it, and I’ve transformed his life… .
Abruptly, I hurry after Sam and catch up with him.
“So, is he a good friend?” I begin. “David Robinson? Is he, like, a really old, close chum?”
“Well, you’re staying too calm!” I feel like exploding. “You’re too stoic!” An image suddenly comes to me of those Roman senators, all waiting in the arena to be massacred. “You know something, Sam? You’re turning into stone.”
“Stone?” He gives a burst of laughter.
“Yes, stone. You’ll wake up one day and you’ll be a statue, but you won’t know it. You’ll be trapped inside yourself.” My voice is wobbling; I’m not sure why. It’s nothing to me whether he turns into a statue or not.
Sam is eyeing me warily.
“Poppy, I“ve no idea what you’re talking about. But we have to put this on pause. I have stuff I need to do.” His phone buzzes and he lifts it to his ear. “Hey, Vicks. You made it. OK, on my way.”
“I know you’re dealing with a crisis.” I grab his arm fiercely. “But there’s an old man waiting to hear from you, Sam. Longing to hear from you. For only five minutes. And you know what? I envy you.”
Sam exhales sharply. “For fuck’s sake, Poppy, you’ve got this all wrong.”
“Have I?” I stare up at him, feeling all my buried emotions starting to bubble. “I just wish I had your chance. To see my dad. You don’t know how lucky you are. That’s all.”
A tear trickles down my cheek, and I brush it away brusquely.
Sam is silent. He puts his phone away and faces me square-on. When he speaks, his voice is gentle.
“Listen, Poppy. I can understand how you feel. I don’t mean to trivialize family relationships. I have a very good relationship with my father, and I see him whenever I can. But it’s not that easy, bearing in mind that he lives in Hong Kong.”
I gasp with horror. Are they so out of touch? Did he not even know his father had moved back to this country?
“Sam!” My words tumble out. “You don’t understand! He’s moved back. He lives in Hampshire! He sent you an email. He wanted to see you. Don’t you read anything ?”
Sam throws back his head and roars with laughter, and I stare at him, affronted.
“OK,” he says at last, wiping his eyes. “Let’s start from the beginning. Let’s get this straight. You’re talking about the email from David Robinson, right?”
“No, I’m not! I’m talking about the one from—”
I break off midstream, suddenly uncertain. Robinson? Robinson? I grab my phone and check the email address: [email protected].
I just assumed he was David Roxton. It seemed obvious he was David Roxton.
“Contrary to your assumptions, I did read that email,” Sam is saying. “And I chose to ignore it. Believe me, David Robinson is not my father.”
“But he called himself Dad. ” I’m totally bewildered. “That’s what he wrote. Dad. Is he … your stepdad? Your halfdad?”
“He’s not my dad in any shape or form,” says Sam patiently. “If you must know, when I was at college I hung out with a group of guys. He was one of them. David Andrew Daniel Robinson. D.A.D. Robinson. We called him Dad. OK? Got it, finally?”
He starts walking toward the hotel as though the subject is closed, but I’m rooted to the spot, my mind flitting around in shock. I can’t get over this. Dad isn’t Sam’s dad? Dad is a friend ? How was I supposed to know that? People shouldn’t be allowed to sign themselves as Dad unless they are your dad. It should be the law.
I’ve never felt so stupid in all my life.
Except … Except. As I’m standing there, I can’t help replaying all David Robinson’s emails in my head.
It’s been a long time. I think of you often … . Did you ever get any of my phone messages? Don’t worry, I know you’re a busy fellow … . As I said, there is something I’d love to talk to you about. Are you ever down Hampshire way?
OK. So maybe I got it wrong about Sam’s father and the cottage and the faithful dog. But these words still touch a nerve in me. They sound so humble. So self-effacing. This David is clearly an old, old friend who wants to reach out. Maybe this is another relationship which Sam is leaving to wither. Maybe they’ll see each other and the years will fall away and afterward Sam will thank me and tell me how he needs to value friendship more, he simply didn’t realize it, and I’ve transformed his life… .
Abruptly, I hurry after Sam and catch up with him.
“So, is he a good friend?” I begin. “David Robinson? Is he, like, a really old, close chum?”
