Therefore, since I was eventually going to be a millionaire, I could afford Zander’s school and an expensive pair of boots.
I knew Ham thought I was insane, me being hell-bent to buy a new outfit to meet my nephew in. I knew this because he was wearing a wine-colored shirt I’d seen him wear more than once since he’d been back and his standard faded jeans that were so broken in, they looked like they’d been bought around the dawn of time.
Still, he looked great, like always, even if his outfit wasn’t new.
But to me, that day I’d be meeting my nephew.
And my nephew would be meeting the only good part that was left of his mother.
So I had to do it right. For Zander.
And for Xenia.
“I know you’re excited, baby,” Ham started and I tore my eyes away from the door to look at him. “But you gotta pay attention, all right?”
I nodded.
He kept going.
“Decisions to be made, big ones for Zander. Your aunt’s right. He grew up with her. Tearin’ him from his home. The woman who raised him. You gotta have a good reason to do that. But she’s a Cinders and she might give you one. So you got any bad feelin’ about him, you clock it, we talk about it, we share it with Nina, and we make our plans. Yeah?”
We’d already discussed the plan, at length, and I was down with the plan so I nodded again.
“She’s f**kin’ him up, though, don’t ’spect she’d walk him right to you. Also don’t ’spect this first meeting will expose if shit’s not good. This has gotta go good so we can get another meet without her there. So you play it cool.”
“I’ll play it cool, Ham,” I assured him, still fidgeting, moving my ass in the seat nervously, unsure what to do with my hands, all this saying my words were a lie.
Seeing as Ham didn’t miss much, that would be, he didn’t miss anything, he didn’t miss this. So he turned fully to me, grabbed both my hands in both of his, and pulled them to his chest.
Then he declared, “No one, man, woman, or child would not love you, Zara.”
At his words, I went completely still.
After I let them sweep through me, I whispered, “Again, awesome… er.”
He grinned.
I heard the door open and my eyes shot to it.
Ham let me go and turned away but I sat there, hands still raised where he’d released them, staring at Aunt Wilona and the blond-haired boy in front of her wearing a private-school uniform and craning his neck to look around.
My heart started hammering so fast, so hard, if I could pull my eyes away from my nephew and look down, I would have sworn I’d see it beating in my chest.
But I couldn’t tear my eyes away so I saw Aunt Wilona put a hand to Zander’s shoulder and point our way.
His eyes came to our table.
I held my breath.
He smiled, then bopped toward us with nine-year-old-kid exuberance.
Ham slid out and I slid out after him so I was on my feet when Zander came to a halt two feet in front of me.
“Jeez, you look like me,” he declared.
I felt my eyes sting.
“Yep,” I replied.
His eyes went to Ham and his head tipped way back.
“Whoa, you’re, like, really tall,” he remarked.
“That I am, boy,” Ham stated.
“Zander, honey, this is your Aunt Zara and your, um… I guess, your uncle, uh…” Aunt Wilona stammered.
“Reece,” Ham grunted.
“What kind of name is Reece?” Zander asked.
“It’s my last name,” Ham answered.
“What’s your first name?” Zander went on.
“Graham,” Ham replied.
“Don’t you call yourself Graham?” Zander queried.
“Would you call yourself Graham?” Ham returned.
Zander grinned.
My heart flipped.
“Nope,” Zander said.
“So you get me,” Ham noted.
“Yep,” Zander agreed.
“Why don’t we sit down?” I butted in. “Get you a drink and something good to eat.”
“Cool,” Zander muttered and scrambled into the other side of the booth.
I watched and then my eyes went to Aunt Wilona. She was looking at Zander then she looked at me. I nodded and gave her a small smile. She returned the gesture.
After that, we all piled in.
Once we were settled, Zander launched in.
And he did it looking at me.
“Okay, so, I forgot to bring my clothes to school to change but I wanted to get here so I told Nona to just come here and that’s why I’m wearin’ this,” he stated, flipping his hand in front of him. “I go to a school where they make you wear uniforms.”
He was excited to meet us.
My heart squeezed.
“I know,” I replied.
“The girls hate it ’cause they can’t wear fingernail polish or different shoes but I don’t mind much,” he shared.
“Well, that’s good,” I told him.
He kept chattering. “Nona says girls that age shouldn’t wear fingernail polish anyway and ’spose she’s right, but really, it’s the older girls who’re always whinin’ about it. The school goes from first grade to twelfth,” he stated proudly, then added, “Though, first to fifth is in one building. Sixth through eighth in another and the high school is all the way across the way so we don’t see them much except at assemblies. Still, I hear the high school girls complaining about nail polish, even at assemblies.” He paused, then finished with, “The older kids talk a lot during assemblies.”
“They probably shouldn’t do that,” I remarked.
“Nah, they shouldn’t,” he agreed. “But they’re better at it. They’ve learned to talk quiet so they don’t get into trouble.”
“Well, uh…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say to that.
Zander didn’t need a response. He kept right on yammering.
“What I don’t get is, who cares about fingernail polish? I mean, is it that important?”
“I’m thinking that at nine you probably shouldn’t tax yourself to try to understand the female mind,” I advised and he grinned at me.
My heart turned over again.
“Just sayin’,” Ham put in, “I’m way past nine but I quit tryin’ to do that a long time ago.”
Zander laughed.
It sounded beautiful.
So beautiful my hand shot under the table and I curled my fingers tight around Ham’s thigh.
I knew Ham thought I was insane, me being hell-bent to buy a new outfit to meet my nephew in. I knew this because he was wearing a wine-colored shirt I’d seen him wear more than once since he’d been back and his standard faded jeans that were so broken in, they looked like they’d been bought around the dawn of time.
Still, he looked great, like always, even if his outfit wasn’t new.
But to me, that day I’d be meeting my nephew.
And my nephew would be meeting the only good part that was left of his mother.
So I had to do it right. For Zander.
And for Xenia.
“I know you’re excited, baby,” Ham started and I tore my eyes away from the door to look at him. “But you gotta pay attention, all right?”
I nodded.
He kept going.
“Decisions to be made, big ones for Zander. Your aunt’s right. He grew up with her. Tearin’ him from his home. The woman who raised him. You gotta have a good reason to do that. But she’s a Cinders and she might give you one. So you got any bad feelin’ about him, you clock it, we talk about it, we share it with Nina, and we make our plans. Yeah?”
We’d already discussed the plan, at length, and I was down with the plan so I nodded again.
“She’s f**kin’ him up, though, don’t ’spect she’d walk him right to you. Also don’t ’spect this first meeting will expose if shit’s not good. This has gotta go good so we can get another meet without her there. So you play it cool.”
“I’ll play it cool, Ham,” I assured him, still fidgeting, moving my ass in the seat nervously, unsure what to do with my hands, all this saying my words were a lie.
Seeing as Ham didn’t miss much, that would be, he didn’t miss anything, he didn’t miss this. So he turned fully to me, grabbed both my hands in both of his, and pulled them to his chest.
Then he declared, “No one, man, woman, or child would not love you, Zara.”
At his words, I went completely still.
After I let them sweep through me, I whispered, “Again, awesome… er.”
He grinned.
I heard the door open and my eyes shot to it.
Ham let me go and turned away but I sat there, hands still raised where he’d released them, staring at Aunt Wilona and the blond-haired boy in front of her wearing a private-school uniform and craning his neck to look around.
My heart started hammering so fast, so hard, if I could pull my eyes away from my nephew and look down, I would have sworn I’d see it beating in my chest.
But I couldn’t tear my eyes away so I saw Aunt Wilona put a hand to Zander’s shoulder and point our way.
His eyes came to our table.
I held my breath.
He smiled, then bopped toward us with nine-year-old-kid exuberance.
Ham slid out and I slid out after him so I was on my feet when Zander came to a halt two feet in front of me.
“Jeez, you look like me,” he declared.
I felt my eyes sting.
“Yep,” I replied.
His eyes went to Ham and his head tipped way back.
“Whoa, you’re, like, really tall,” he remarked.
“That I am, boy,” Ham stated.
“Zander, honey, this is your Aunt Zara and your, um… I guess, your uncle, uh…” Aunt Wilona stammered.
“Reece,” Ham grunted.
“What kind of name is Reece?” Zander asked.
“It’s my last name,” Ham answered.
“What’s your first name?” Zander went on.
“Graham,” Ham replied.
“Don’t you call yourself Graham?” Zander queried.
“Would you call yourself Graham?” Ham returned.
Zander grinned.
My heart flipped.
“Nope,” Zander said.
“So you get me,” Ham noted.
“Yep,” Zander agreed.
“Why don’t we sit down?” I butted in. “Get you a drink and something good to eat.”
“Cool,” Zander muttered and scrambled into the other side of the booth.
I watched and then my eyes went to Aunt Wilona. She was looking at Zander then she looked at me. I nodded and gave her a small smile. She returned the gesture.
After that, we all piled in.
Once we were settled, Zander launched in.
And he did it looking at me.
“Okay, so, I forgot to bring my clothes to school to change but I wanted to get here so I told Nona to just come here and that’s why I’m wearin’ this,” he stated, flipping his hand in front of him. “I go to a school where they make you wear uniforms.”
He was excited to meet us.
My heart squeezed.
“I know,” I replied.
“The girls hate it ’cause they can’t wear fingernail polish or different shoes but I don’t mind much,” he shared.
“Well, that’s good,” I told him.
He kept chattering. “Nona says girls that age shouldn’t wear fingernail polish anyway and ’spose she’s right, but really, it’s the older girls who’re always whinin’ about it. The school goes from first grade to twelfth,” he stated proudly, then added, “Though, first to fifth is in one building. Sixth through eighth in another and the high school is all the way across the way so we don’t see them much except at assemblies. Still, I hear the high school girls complaining about nail polish, even at assemblies.” He paused, then finished with, “The older kids talk a lot during assemblies.”
“They probably shouldn’t do that,” I remarked.
“Nah, they shouldn’t,” he agreed. “But they’re better at it. They’ve learned to talk quiet so they don’t get into trouble.”
“Well, uh…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say to that.
Zander didn’t need a response. He kept right on yammering.
“What I don’t get is, who cares about fingernail polish? I mean, is it that important?”
“I’m thinking that at nine you probably shouldn’t tax yourself to try to understand the female mind,” I advised and he grinned at me.
My heart turned over again.
“Just sayin’,” Ham put in, “I’m way past nine but I quit tryin’ to do that a long time ago.”
Zander laughed.
It sounded beautiful.
So beautiful my hand shot under the table and I curled my fingers tight around Ham’s thigh.
