The second I said his name, his heat left my back, he rolled me, rolled over me, and his mouth took mine in a deep, soft, sweet kiss.
I slid my arms around him.
Thus Ham commenced making love to me before I was barely awake. Something he did on occasion. Something I liked very, very much.
And when he did it, he made it all about me. Taking his time through kisses and touches to remove my nightgown and panties. Then it was all about his hands, lips, and tongue trailing over my neck, chest, my br**sts, ribs, and belly. His mouth closing over my ni**les and gently suckling. His fingertips gliding through the wetness between my legs, tender, reverent, loving. His lips coming back to my mouth to kiss me deep, wet, sweet, beautiful, and long.
It was a slow burn he built, taking his time, like we had years for Ham to taste me, touch me, give me everything.
With experience, I’d learned to ride the burn, not push it, not demand more. Moving my hands over him, tasting him when I had the chance but, when we did this, it was about Ham giving to me.
And that was what I got that morning.
Until Ham changed it and, doing so, he altered my world.
Because, when he finally slid inside, no condom, just him and me, he moved, slow, deep, beautiful but he did it holding my eyes, his weight braced onto a forearm in the bed under me but his hand connected with me, fingers wrapped around the back of my neck while he drifted the fingers of his other hand through my hair.
“Softest hair I ever felt,” he murmured.
My arms, already wrapped around him, tightened and I lifted my legs to curve them around his h*ps as I whispered, “Ham.”
He brushed his lips against mine, pulled back, kept sliding in and out, the rhythm sure, leisured, amazing, as he held my eyes.
“Drove away from you nine years ago, knew it was wrong then, didn’t know that it was the biggest mistake I’d make in my life,” he whispered back.
My arms and legs convulsed around him, I lifted my hips, deepening his invasion, and his rhythm escalated.
“Darlin’,” I breathed, not knowing where this was going but liking how it made me feel.
“You’re an unbelievable woman, Zara,” he told me softly.
I liked how that made me feel even more and tears filled my eyes.
But I ordered, “Shut up and make love to me,” and when I did, my voice was trembling.
Ham ignored me.
“Best woman I ever met,” he went on.
My hands slid up his back, rounding him, shoving between us and up through the crisp hair on his chest. I cupped his jaw and slid my thumbs over the stubble on his cheeks.
“Be quiet, baby,” I begged.
His thrusts got faster and he dropped his head, his lips a whisper away from mine.
“Took hit after hit, started life takin’ ’em, literally, you never even went down to a knee,” he murmured against my mouth.
“Be quiet.”
“So f**kin’ strong.”
“Quiet, honey.”
“So goddamned pretty.”
“Ham,” I whispered.
“Mine,” he growled, that noise sounding against my lips sweeping through me, his h*ps moving much faster, driving harder, going even deeper. “All mine,” he finished and, before I could say a word, he slanted his head and took my mouth.
Then he took us both there.
Timing it perfectly, I gasped into his mouth before I moaned, my limbs clenching around him, the cl**ax rolling through me, gentle but beautiful and lasting. Seconds later, Ham planted himself to the root and groaned down my throat.
When he came down, he started gliding in and out as his lips trailed down to my neck and moved there. He did this awhile before he slid in, filling me, connecting us, and stayed put.
Then he said against my neck, “Want you off The Pill, honey. We start now.”
“Okay,” I agreed quietly, liking that.
Ham and me, we’d already started. But a family, we were going to start now.
Yes, I liked that.
And he’d obviously liked Zander, and meeting him reminded Ham, like me, of the bounty we had before us. No reason to delay. We started now.
He lifted up and looked down at me. One of his hands was still curled around the back of my neck, the other one he used to drift his fingers lightly across the skin on my face as his eyes watched.
Then they caught mine.
“Loved Rachel,” he stated and his words were so unexpected, considering the mood he’d created, I blinked.
Where did that come from? And why was he talking about Rachel now?
“Ham, I think—”
“Bear with me, darlin’,” he whispered.
I shut my mouth.
Ham continued. “We met after high school. She was beautiful, think I fell in love with her the minute I laid eyes on her. Stopped at nothin’ to get in there then bind her to me.”
He paused and I said nothing, doing my best to bear with him.
When I didn’t say a word, he kept going.
“Had a good life with my folks. Mom bein’ so sick, she took a risk havin’ me. She couldn’t take more risks after that, though. But, the love they had to give, love they gave me, I knew the only thing that would have made growin’ up better was havin’ brothers and sisters. Never, when I was a kid, when I was growin’ into a man, did I dream of doin’ big things. Goin’ to the moon. Makin’ lots of money. Bein’ some kind of hotshot. I just wanted to build on what my parents gave to me and showed me. A man in love with his wife. Dad takin’ care of her, me, our home. A woman in love with her husband. Them makin’ a child outta that love and workin’ together to teach him to be a good man. Havin’ that I knew that was the only thing I needed.”
“Okay,” I said softly, liking this part of what he was saying even as my heart broke, knowing Rachel took away that simple dream.
“So young, in love, I shared all that with Rachel. Laid it out for her. Stupid,” he stated and I tensed my limbs around him.
“She was the one who was stupid, Ham.”
He gave me a small smile, dipped his head, and touched his mouth to mine before he lifted it and kept talking.
“She told me she wanted the same things. She agreed with me on everything, our life path, how we’d get there, how many kids we were gonna have.”
I nodded.
Ham went on. “I believed her. So gone for her, I sucked that shit up. Woke up in the morning, told her I loved her. Left for work, told her I loved her. Rolled into bed at night, worked bars then, too, babe,” he shared something I knew. “Woke her when I got home and told her I loved her. Every time, she said the same thing back. She’d even call me durin’ the day for no reason, she said, except to say she loved me.”
I slid my arms around him.
Thus Ham commenced making love to me before I was barely awake. Something he did on occasion. Something I liked very, very much.
And when he did it, he made it all about me. Taking his time through kisses and touches to remove my nightgown and panties. Then it was all about his hands, lips, and tongue trailing over my neck, chest, my br**sts, ribs, and belly. His mouth closing over my ni**les and gently suckling. His fingertips gliding through the wetness between my legs, tender, reverent, loving. His lips coming back to my mouth to kiss me deep, wet, sweet, beautiful, and long.
It was a slow burn he built, taking his time, like we had years for Ham to taste me, touch me, give me everything.
With experience, I’d learned to ride the burn, not push it, not demand more. Moving my hands over him, tasting him when I had the chance but, when we did this, it was about Ham giving to me.
And that was what I got that morning.
Until Ham changed it and, doing so, he altered my world.
Because, when he finally slid inside, no condom, just him and me, he moved, slow, deep, beautiful but he did it holding my eyes, his weight braced onto a forearm in the bed under me but his hand connected with me, fingers wrapped around the back of my neck while he drifted the fingers of his other hand through my hair.
“Softest hair I ever felt,” he murmured.
My arms, already wrapped around him, tightened and I lifted my legs to curve them around his h*ps as I whispered, “Ham.”
He brushed his lips against mine, pulled back, kept sliding in and out, the rhythm sure, leisured, amazing, as he held my eyes.
“Drove away from you nine years ago, knew it was wrong then, didn’t know that it was the biggest mistake I’d make in my life,” he whispered back.
My arms and legs convulsed around him, I lifted my hips, deepening his invasion, and his rhythm escalated.
“Darlin’,” I breathed, not knowing where this was going but liking how it made me feel.
“You’re an unbelievable woman, Zara,” he told me softly.
I liked how that made me feel even more and tears filled my eyes.
But I ordered, “Shut up and make love to me,” and when I did, my voice was trembling.
Ham ignored me.
“Best woman I ever met,” he went on.
My hands slid up his back, rounding him, shoving between us and up through the crisp hair on his chest. I cupped his jaw and slid my thumbs over the stubble on his cheeks.
“Be quiet, baby,” I begged.
His thrusts got faster and he dropped his head, his lips a whisper away from mine.
“Took hit after hit, started life takin’ ’em, literally, you never even went down to a knee,” he murmured against my mouth.
“Be quiet.”
“So f**kin’ strong.”
“Quiet, honey.”
“So goddamned pretty.”
“Ham,” I whispered.
“Mine,” he growled, that noise sounding against my lips sweeping through me, his h*ps moving much faster, driving harder, going even deeper. “All mine,” he finished and, before I could say a word, he slanted his head and took my mouth.
Then he took us both there.
Timing it perfectly, I gasped into his mouth before I moaned, my limbs clenching around him, the cl**ax rolling through me, gentle but beautiful and lasting. Seconds later, Ham planted himself to the root and groaned down my throat.
When he came down, he started gliding in and out as his lips trailed down to my neck and moved there. He did this awhile before he slid in, filling me, connecting us, and stayed put.
Then he said against my neck, “Want you off The Pill, honey. We start now.”
“Okay,” I agreed quietly, liking that.
Ham and me, we’d already started. But a family, we were going to start now.
Yes, I liked that.
And he’d obviously liked Zander, and meeting him reminded Ham, like me, of the bounty we had before us. No reason to delay. We started now.
He lifted up and looked down at me. One of his hands was still curled around the back of my neck, the other one he used to drift his fingers lightly across the skin on my face as his eyes watched.
Then they caught mine.
“Loved Rachel,” he stated and his words were so unexpected, considering the mood he’d created, I blinked.
Where did that come from? And why was he talking about Rachel now?
“Ham, I think—”
“Bear with me, darlin’,” he whispered.
I shut my mouth.
Ham continued. “We met after high school. She was beautiful, think I fell in love with her the minute I laid eyes on her. Stopped at nothin’ to get in there then bind her to me.”
He paused and I said nothing, doing my best to bear with him.
When I didn’t say a word, he kept going.
“Had a good life with my folks. Mom bein’ so sick, she took a risk havin’ me. She couldn’t take more risks after that, though. But, the love they had to give, love they gave me, I knew the only thing that would have made growin’ up better was havin’ brothers and sisters. Never, when I was a kid, when I was growin’ into a man, did I dream of doin’ big things. Goin’ to the moon. Makin’ lots of money. Bein’ some kind of hotshot. I just wanted to build on what my parents gave to me and showed me. A man in love with his wife. Dad takin’ care of her, me, our home. A woman in love with her husband. Them makin’ a child outta that love and workin’ together to teach him to be a good man. Havin’ that I knew that was the only thing I needed.”
“Okay,” I said softly, liking this part of what he was saying even as my heart broke, knowing Rachel took away that simple dream.
“So young, in love, I shared all that with Rachel. Laid it out for her. Stupid,” he stated and I tensed my limbs around him.
“She was the one who was stupid, Ham.”
He gave me a small smile, dipped his head, and touched his mouth to mine before he lifted it and kept talking.
“She told me she wanted the same things. She agreed with me on everything, our life path, how we’d get there, how many kids we were gonna have.”
I nodded.
Ham went on. “I believed her. So gone for her, I sucked that shit up. Woke up in the morning, told her I loved her. Left for work, told her I loved her. Rolled into bed at night, worked bars then, too, babe,” he shared something I knew. “Woke her when I got home and told her I loved her. Every time, she said the same thing back. She’d even call me durin’ the day for no reason, she said, except to say she loved me.”
