Just To Be With You
Page 7
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Ian had never flirted with her. He had never touched or kissed her with careless affection. And yet, from the first moment she’d spoken to him, she’d felt as if she belonged to him. Now, as she spoke with his mother, she had to wonder, was what she was feeling more than just a crush? Was it something that could turn into the kind of forever that Mia and Ford and Rafe and Brooke had? And even if it was, would it make any difference to Ian, when she could still remember every word they’d said to each other at Marcus’s wedding?
* * *
“It was such a beautiful wedding, wasn’t it?” were her first dreamy words to him after the ceremony. She’d been so overwhelmed by the love all around her, not just between the bride and groom, but among all of the Sullivans who had found their true loves. They were so free with their smiles for one another, their gentle touches, their kisses. Falling in love with Smith had made Valentina more relaxed and happy than Tatiana had ever known her sister could be.
But Ian had only said, “Marcus and Nicola are both good people.”
She’d realized with no small amount of shock that he hadn’t been as overwhelmed by all the love at the wedding as she had. Trying to understand how that could possibly be, she’d said, “I take it you’re not a big fan of love?”
It had been his turn to look surprised by her pointed question, maybe even intrigued despite himself, as he said, “I have no doubt that the two of them are in love.”
Tatiana wasn’t usually the kind of person who deliberately got in a stranger’s face and asked him deeply personal questions within the first five minutes of meeting him. But Ian Sullivan had drawn her in a way no man ever had, so she’d gone another step further and asked, “So if it’s not love that bothers you, it must be marriage?”
Again, he hadn’t directly answered her question. Instead, he’d turned it around on her. “How old were you the first time you dressed up in a wedding gown?”
She hadn’t hesitated to tell him her fun memories about how she used to put on her mother’s wedding dress when she was four or five and pretend her dog was the handsome prince she was marrying.
When she was done, he’d simply asked, “How often do you think those fairy tales come true?”
Oh, how she’d wanted the fairy tale to come true right then and there—for Ian to turn out to be the man she’d been waiting for her whole life. Looking back, she was sure every one of those desires and dreams were in her voice and on her face as she softly told him, “I hope that they come true all the time.”
He’d looked stunned, and they’d simply stared at one another. His eyes had grown darker and more intense throughout their conversation, and she’d been struck by how attracted she was to him. Shockingly so, with every inch of her skin feeling overheated, her breath coming faster, even her br**sts feeling fuller as they pressed against the bodice of her dress. She’d wanted so badly to reach out to touch him, had been so tempted to go to her tippy-toes and press a kiss to his mouth that would surprise him even more than her questions had.
But she simply hadn’t had the first clue how to do any of those seductive, enticing things. Sure, she knew how to play sexy for the screen, but in real life? The truth was that she’d never met a man about whom she felt strongly enough to want to be sexy with him...not until Ian.
So though she’d been standing there in front of him with her heart racing and her skin flushing, rather than doing anything seductive or enticing, she’d finally settled for an awkward smile and a semi-apology for quizzing him about love and marriage in the middle of the vineyard.
* * *
Tonight, as she’d watched him be so incredibly sweet with his sister and mother, Tatiana couldn’t help but wonder at Ian’s insistence that love was no more than a fairy tale. Tatiana had always trusted more in what people did than what they said.
And what Ian did was love the heck out of his family, who loved him right back—a love just as strong, just as true.
“Does he know how you feel?” Claudia asked, drawing her back from her vivid memories of that first, strangely intimate conversation with him.
Tatiana was about to say no, but then she remembered the way he’d reacted to her when he’d been holding her in his arms on the driveway. As if he’d felt their sudden connection just as strongly, just as deeply, as she had.
“Maybe.” She had to laugh at herself and amend her response. “Probably. Because as you can see, I’m not exactly going out of my way to hide it. Not even from his mother.” Since she was already being utterly reckless by talking about her feelings for Ian with his mom, Tatiana figured she might as well ask, “Got any tips for me about how to woo your eldest son?”
Claudia’s laughter was just as warm as the arms that enfolded Tatiana into a hug. “He’d be a fool not to fall for you, sweetie. And the one thing I know for sure is that I haven’t raised any fools.”
“No, you most certainly haven’t,” Tatiana agreed, “but even so...” She paused, trying to think of a tactful way to put it. “Ian’s already made it pretty clear to me how he feels about romance.”
Claudia simply nodded as she turned back to the stove. “Tell me, for most people who want to act for a living, once they realize just how difficult it is to get any parts at all, let alone good ones, how long does it take them to give up their dreams?”
“Usually, it’s a matter of months. Although there are some who stick it out for a couple of years before they throw in the towel.”
“Did you ever consider giving up, Tatiana?”
“No.” It had never even been a possibility. “Acting is such an integral part of who I am, I’ve never even thought about doing anything else. I love it that much.”
“And you’ve always been determined to make it work?”
Tatiana thought about how hard she’d been working to get at the heart of her new character, and the fact that she wouldn’t let up until she did. “Yes, I’ve always been determined.”
“Well, people always say that if you follow your heart, you’ll never regret it, which I agree with. But what I learned when Ian’s father and I were trying to make things work between the two of us way back when, was just how much determination it can sometimes take to stay on your heart’s path. I also learned that love is worth the struggle. Always.”
It was, Tatiana thought as she slipped the pasta into the boiling water on the stove, both an encouragement and a warning from a mother who clearly knew her eldest son very, very well. Well enough not to shy away from words like struggle and determination.
* * *
“It was such a beautiful wedding, wasn’t it?” were her first dreamy words to him after the ceremony. She’d been so overwhelmed by the love all around her, not just between the bride and groom, but among all of the Sullivans who had found their true loves. They were so free with their smiles for one another, their gentle touches, their kisses. Falling in love with Smith had made Valentina more relaxed and happy than Tatiana had ever known her sister could be.
But Ian had only said, “Marcus and Nicola are both good people.”
She’d realized with no small amount of shock that he hadn’t been as overwhelmed by all the love at the wedding as she had. Trying to understand how that could possibly be, she’d said, “I take it you’re not a big fan of love?”
It had been his turn to look surprised by her pointed question, maybe even intrigued despite himself, as he said, “I have no doubt that the two of them are in love.”
Tatiana wasn’t usually the kind of person who deliberately got in a stranger’s face and asked him deeply personal questions within the first five minutes of meeting him. But Ian Sullivan had drawn her in a way no man ever had, so she’d gone another step further and asked, “So if it’s not love that bothers you, it must be marriage?”
Again, he hadn’t directly answered her question. Instead, he’d turned it around on her. “How old were you the first time you dressed up in a wedding gown?”
She hadn’t hesitated to tell him her fun memories about how she used to put on her mother’s wedding dress when she was four or five and pretend her dog was the handsome prince she was marrying.
When she was done, he’d simply asked, “How often do you think those fairy tales come true?”
Oh, how she’d wanted the fairy tale to come true right then and there—for Ian to turn out to be the man she’d been waiting for her whole life. Looking back, she was sure every one of those desires and dreams were in her voice and on her face as she softly told him, “I hope that they come true all the time.”
He’d looked stunned, and they’d simply stared at one another. His eyes had grown darker and more intense throughout their conversation, and she’d been struck by how attracted she was to him. Shockingly so, with every inch of her skin feeling overheated, her breath coming faster, even her br**sts feeling fuller as they pressed against the bodice of her dress. She’d wanted so badly to reach out to touch him, had been so tempted to go to her tippy-toes and press a kiss to his mouth that would surprise him even more than her questions had.
But she simply hadn’t had the first clue how to do any of those seductive, enticing things. Sure, she knew how to play sexy for the screen, but in real life? The truth was that she’d never met a man about whom she felt strongly enough to want to be sexy with him...not until Ian.
So though she’d been standing there in front of him with her heart racing and her skin flushing, rather than doing anything seductive or enticing, she’d finally settled for an awkward smile and a semi-apology for quizzing him about love and marriage in the middle of the vineyard.
* * *
Tonight, as she’d watched him be so incredibly sweet with his sister and mother, Tatiana couldn’t help but wonder at Ian’s insistence that love was no more than a fairy tale. Tatiana had always trusted more in what people did than what they said.
And what Ian did was love the heck out of his family, who loved him right back—a love just as strong, just as true.
“Does he know how you feel?” Claudia asked, drawing her back from her vivid memories of that first, strangely intimate conversation with him.
Tatiana was about to say no, but then she remembered the way he’d reacted to her when he’d been holding her in his arms on the driveway. As if he’d felt their sudden connection just as strongly, just as deeply, as she had.
“Maybe.” She had to laugh at herself and amend her response. “Probably. Because as you can see, I’m not exactly going out of my way to hide it. Not even from his mother.” Since she was already being utterly reckless by talking about her feelings for Ian with his mom, Tatiana figured she might as well ask, “Got any tips for me about how to woo your eldest son?”
Claudia’s laughter was just as warm as the arms that enfolded Tatiana into a hug. “He’d be a fool not to fall for you, sweetie. And the one thing I know for sure is that I haven’t raised any fools.”
“No, you most certainly haven’t,” Tatiana agreed, “but even so...” She paused, trying to think of a tactful way to put it. “Ian’s already made it pretty clear to me how he feels about romance.”
Claudia simply nodded as she turned back to the stove. “Tell me, for most people who want to act for a living, once they realize just how difficult it is to get any parts at all, let alone good ones, how long does it take them to give up their dreams?”
“Usually, it’s a matter of months. Although there are some who stick it out for a couple of years before they throw in the towel.”
“Did you ever consider giving up, Tatiana?”
“No.” It had never even been a possibility. “Acting is such an integral part of who I am, I’ve never even thought about doing anything else. I love it that much.”
“And you’ve always been determined to make it work?”
Tatiana thought about how hard she’d been working to get at the heart of her new character, and the fact that she wouldn’t let up until she did. “Yes, I’ve always been determined.”
“Well, people always say that if you follow your heart, you’ll never regret it, which I agree with. But what I learned when Ian’s father and I were trying to make things work between the two of us way back when, was just how much determination it can sometimes take to stay on your heart’s path. I also learned that love is worth the struggle. Always.”
It was, Tatiana thought as she slipped the pasta into the boiling water on the stove, both an encouragement and a warning from a mother who clearly knew her eldest son very, very well. Well enough not to shy away from words like struggle and determination.
