Justice
Page 69

 Laurann Dohner

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Reality sank in slowly. She’d just had mind-blowing sex with someone she’d sworn off. She could blame the anger, it definitely had played a part in her going from cold to hot in a flash but mostly she had to admit it was because she loved him.
He wanted sex from her—the only thing he would accept—and she’d given in to him. He was just too sexy, his kisses were too irresistible and that mouth of his should come with a warning label, in her opinion. One kiss and he could make a woman lose her head and her panties.
Justice brushed a kiss on her throat as he turned his head a little and his hot, heavy breath tickled her neck as he shifted his hold again by pulling his hand out from between their bodies to cup her ass with both hands.
“Hold on to me. I’m carrying you to bed. We’ll eat later. I want you again.”
The sad part was she wanted to let him take her there. Spending hours touching and losing herself in his arms was so tempting it hurt to resist. She didn’t want to be a doormat, the woman he slept with until he decided he wanted to settle down—she had to take a stand. She wouldn’t be used by any man.
“Put me down.”
“You’re not heavy.” He pulled away from the wall and she had to grip his shoulders to remain upright and not fall back against it as he took her with him.
She wiggled frantically, lifted up by pressing her arms on his shoulders and squeezed her vaginal muscles. It forced his still-hard c**k to slide out of her. The second they parted, she let her legs drop away from his waist and shoved.
He stumbled but didn’t drop her. Instead he growled as she yanked her head back to stare into his surprised eyes.
“Jessie?”
“Let go.”
Confusion came next, an emotion she related to. He made her feel that way so it was only fair he suffered it too. He lowered her but didn’t release her entirely. “What is wrong?”
She would have laughed if it wasn’t so sad. “This doesn’t change anything. It was just breakup sex.”
“What?” He gaped at her.
“Breakup sex,” she repeated. She released his shoulders to shove at his chest. “It happens. We have something between us but it’s not meant to be. You have your plans and I’m not part of them.”
Justice was quick to growl. “It was no such thing. We are not breaking up. We’re going to bed and talk.” He tried to pull her closer. “We are happy together.”
“Do I look happy?” She stared up into his face. “I want more than to just be the woman you spend your nights with. I’d like to be there during the days too. I want to meet your friends and maybe even see your office. I want to go with you if you have to go to Reservation to stay for a few days so we don’t have to be apart. The works. That’s what I want, Justice. Full-fledged girlfriend rights.”
Another growl rumbled from him. “It’s not safe. We have been over this.”
“Yes, we have. You have your mind made up and so do I. Do you know what that’s called?”
“Stubbornness on your part not to see logical reasons why it would be bad if anyone knew we were together?”
She wished she could smile but it hurt too much. “Let me go, Justice.”
His fingers flexed but he eased his hold until his hands dropped to his sides.
“There. I’m not touching you.”
“I mean let me go. You don’t want to hurt me, right? You’re so paranoid about doing that. Being with you the way we are doesn’t work for me anymore. You can’t or won’t give me what I need. That’s hurting me.” Tears filled her eyes. “You’re hurting me.”
He shook his head. “No.”
“Yes.” She yanked her torn shirt together to cover her br**sts, wished it were longer because she felt too exposed at that moment, both physically and emotionally. “Please leave, Justice. If you care about me at all you’ll grab your clothes, jump the wall and go.” She turned away, couldn’t stand the tortured look on his face, and walked to the back slider. She unlocked it and shoved it open, refusing to look at him again. “Go.
Please? We can’t do this again. It’s too painful.”
“Did I hurt you? Was I too rough?” He rasped the words, sounding as tormented as he’d appeared. “Jessie? Look at me.”
She refused. “Go, Justice. Just…go.”
“I can’t,” he whispered. “I think about you. I…”
Justice was at a loss for words. It tore him apart, seeing how dejected Jessie appeared. Her shoulders slumped and she hugged her torn shirt as if it comforted her from something sorrowful. Why couldn’t he find the right words to make her understand how much she mattered to him? He wrote speeches to address the world of humans often but he failed to come up with a way to express his feelings to the only one of them who had won his heart.
“Go,” she whispered, the sound of tears in her voice. “Don’t make me scream or push that damn alarm again. It makes me look like an idiot when they show up here and I have to pretend I did it by accident. I need space. If you care, prove it. Leave.”
Agony tore through him as he turned on numb legs, collected his clothing and hesitated at her side. “Jessie? Please talk to me. Don’t make me go. I want to stay with you.” He was tempted to grab her, throw her over his shoulder and tie her to the bed.
He could make her see that they belonged together but her pain stopped him. Seeing her that way tore him up inside. “Jessie, I”