Key of Light
Page 76

“Excuse me, but I just have to ask,” said Dana, “what’s it like to be with the same guy for, well, basically forever?”
“He’s the only man I want,” Rowena answered.
“Oh, come on, come, on. You’ve got to have had a few hundred fantasies about other men in the last couple of millennia.”
“Of course.” Rowena set the mirror down, and her lips bowed into a dreamy smile. “There was a young waiter once, in Rome. Such a face and form. With eyes so dark it seemed I could see worlds drowning in them. And he served me coffee and a bun. He called me bella donna with such a knowing smile. While I ate my bun I imagined biting into his tasty bottom lip.”
She pressed her own together, then laughed. “I painted him in my studio, and let him flirt with me outrageously. And when I nudged him along after a session, I would drag Pitte away from whatever he might be doing and seduce him.”
“You never cheated.”
“I love my man,” Rowena said simply. “We’re bound, body, heart, soul. There’s magic in that, more potent than any spell, more wicked than any curse.” She reached up, laid a hand over Zoe’s. “You loved a boy, and he gave you a son. For that, you’ll always love him, even though he was weak and betrayed you.”
“Simon’s my world.”
“And you’ve made it a bright and loving world. I so envy you your child. You.” She rose, stepped closer to trail her fingers over Dana’s hair. “You loved one who was no longer a boy, yet not quite a man. For that, you’ve never forgiven him.”
“Why should I?”
“There’s a question,” Rowena replied.
“What about me?” Malory asked, and Rowena sat on the arm of the sofa, touched a hand to her shoulder.
“You love the man so much, so fast and fierce, it makes you doubt your own heart. For that, you can’t trust him.”
“How can I trust what doesn’t make sense?”
“As long as you need to ask, you won’t have the answer.” She leaned down, pressed her lips to Malory’s brow. “Thank you for having me in your home, for sharing yourselves with me. Here, take this.”
She held out her hand, offered Malory the pale blue stone in the palm. “What is it?”
“A small charm. Put it under your pillow tonight. You’ll sleep well. I must go.” She smiled a little, lifting her hand to her hair as she rose and crossed to the glass door. “I wonder what Pitte will think of my hair. Good night.” She opened the door and slipped into the night.
Zoe waited three seconds, then scurried to the door. Framing her face with her hands, she pressed it close to the glass. “Shoot. I thought she’d go poof or something, but she’s just walking. Like a normal person.”
“She seems pretty normal.” Dana shifted around to reach the popcorn. “You know, for a goddess with a few thousand years under her belt.”
“But sad.” Malory turned the blue stone over in her hand. “There’s all that sophistication and cool amusement on the surface, but there’s this terrible sadness under it. She meant it when she said she was envious of you for having Simon, Zoe.”
“It’s funny to think about.” Zoe wandered back, chose a brush, a rat-tail comb, and pins, then moved behind the sofa. “She lives in that big, well, castle, really, with all those beautiful things.” She began to brush Dana’s hair. “And she’s beautiful, even wise, I think. She’s rich and has a man she loves. She’s traveled and she can paint those wonderful pictures.”
Dividing sections of Dana’s hair, she began to braid. “But she envies someone like me because I have a kid. Do you think she can’t have children? I didn’t want to ask, it’s so personal. But I wonder why she couldn’t. If she can do all the things she can do, why couldn’t she have a baby?”
“Maybe Pitte doesn’t want to have kids.” Dana shrugged her shoulders. “Some people don’t. What’re you doing back there, Zoe?”
“New do. I’m mixing some skinny braids in. It should be young and kicky. Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Want to have kids?”
Dana munched popcorn and considered. “Yeah. I’d like to have a couple. I figure if I don’t find a guy I can stand being with for the long term in the next few years, I’ll just do it on my own. You know, make love with medical science.”
“You’d do that?” Fascinated, Malory reached into the bowl. “Raise a child on your own. I mean, on purpose,” she added, looking up at Zoe. “You know what I mean.”
“Sure, I would.” Dana settled the bowl between them. “Why not? I’m healthy. I think I’d be good at the parenting thing, that I have a lot to offer a kid. I’d want to make sure I had solid financial security first, but if I’m cruising toward say, thirty-five and there’s no guy in the picture, I’d do the deed.”
“Sort of takes the romance out of it,” Malory commented.
“Maybe, but it gets results. You’ve got to look at the big picture. If there’s something you want, deep down want, you can’t let anything stop you from getting it.”
Malory thought of her dream, of the child she’d held in her arms. Of the light filling her world, her heart. “Even if you really, really want something, there are lines.”
“Well, murder and a certain amount of mayhem are discouraged. I’m talking about making important choices, then going the distance and dealing with the results. What about you, Zoe? Would you do it again? The raise-a-kid-on-your-own part?” Dana asked.
“I don’t think I’d set out to do it again. It’s hard. There’s nobody to share the load with, and sometimes the load seems impossible for one person. But more, there’s nobody who looks at the child and feels what you feel. Nobody to share that love and pride and, I don’t know, surprise with.”
“Were you scared?” Malory asked her.
“Yeah. Oh, yeah. I still get scared. I think it’s supposed to be scary because it’s so important. Do you want babies, Mal?”
“I do.” She rubbed the stone gently between her fingers. “More than I realized.”

BY three, Dana and Zoe were sleeping in her bed, and Malory was picking up the worst of the debris, too restless to settle in on the sofa. There were too many thoughts, too many images flitting around in her mind.