She was still concocting new ideas, but I saw the wistfulness in her eyes. She was missing the old camaraderie we’d had, and so was I. Too much of Kian. Too much of Susan. Too much about interviews. Even too much of Jake, whatever was going on with him.
I took her hand from my arm and held it, squeezing it. We needed to get back to basics. I could use the distraction from Kian anyway.
I said, “When you sell your piece to a major paper, you and I will celebrate, and we’ll do our roommate-weekend thing.”
“You and me?”
“You and me.”
Her eyes welled up, and she flicked a tear away with the back of her hand. “Thanks for saying that. Sometimes, I think I’ll never get out of Susan’s shadow. She’s so evil.”
I laughed. “You’re a good person. She’s not. You’ll be fine in the long run. I really think that.”
“You think a big paper will buy my story?”
“I know they will. You have a different perspective on it.”
“Thanks, Jo. Sometimes, I think Susan gets me blackballed from projects at the paper. She got a major promotion at The Forum. I had been up for it, too, but they had chosen her. She’ll be gone next year.”
“Well then, next year is when you’ll shine. Screw Susan. She’ll be gone.”
“Yeah.” Erica’s head lifted. “You’re right.” She sighed, glancing over her shoulder. “I should get back to Wanker. He told me he wants to talk tonight. He’s already three sheets to the wind. Can’t imagine how that talk will go.”
The corner of my mouth curved down. “Be gentle with him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just”—he’s in love with you—“be easy with him. Whatever he wants to talk to you about must be hard for him if he’s drunk already.”
She groaned. “He shouldn’t do the serious talks when he’s pissing in the wind. That was our last big talk. He got drunk just like this when he told me not to room with you. Can you imagine how that went over? With his dick in his hand while watering the campus pond. The security guards weren’t amused.”
“He advised against you living with me?”
“Yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry. He had some trumped-up idea that you were hiding something. He’s an idiot. He’s apologized five times to me since then. He realized I would’ve missed out on a good roommate and friend.”
I had tensed but relaxed. Still, hearing that Wanker had been suspicious of me didn’t sit well with me. He’d picked up that I had a secret.
“Uh, yeah. Good thing you didn’t listen to him.”
“Go pee. I’ll have a drink ready for you.” She pretended to shove me toward the back hallway.
“Nope. No way, ladies.” A big guy materialized in front of us, blocking the hallway. He held his hands out to both sides of the wall, one hand still holding his drink. With curly blond hair, a shirt that said Mass U, and cargo shorts, he looked like one of Jake’s friends. “All the rooms are blocked off. If you need to use one, you gotta see Trent.”
He pointed to a guy with jet-black hair in the living room, holding court with a group of guys and girls. He was wearing similar cargo shorts and a shirt that said Boston. Both were tall and handsome with an athletic physique.
“I have to piss.”
“Oh.” He frowned, raking me up and down. “We’re using the first-floor bathroom for something else. Most chicks are sent downstairs, but there’s a bathroom upstairs. You can use that one, if you want.”
I shrugged. “As long as there’s a toilet, I don’t care.”
“Use the one upstairs. It’s at the end of the hallway, and if you run into anyone, just be discreet and quiet. A few of the rooms are occupied, if you get my drift. I’m Erik, by the way.”
Erica and I shared a look. Was this a party or a brothel?
She pointed to the kitchen. “I’ll, uh…get you a drink then.”
I nodded, heading for the stairs.
“Jo!” Jake was coming my way, holding two drinks in the air as he moved through the crowd.
Erica waved me off. “Go,” she said. “I’ll tell him you’re coming back.”
As I went up the stairs, I glimpsed Erica placing a hand on Jake’s chest, stopping him. He listened to her and then looked at me. He waved one of the drinks with a big smile on his face. I nodded, letting him know I got the message. A drink was waiting for me. Good. I’d need more than that one.
Right before I disappeared from sight, Wanker rushed up to Erica and shoved his phone in her face.
Then, I was upstairs. The hall was dark and quiet. A couple was standing in the hallway, and the girl was too chatty for my liking.
I have to go, people. Yes, yes, lots of love my way. She hates Susan and Tara. Don’t we all?
I slipped into the bathroom and sank down onto the toilet.
I needed a breather.
Kian dropped me off a block from my place. Erica warned me, but I hadn’t realized how insistent Jake would be when I got inside my apartment. The only thing he kept talking about was the party. I hadn’t been looking forward to it, but Erica promised we could leave after an hour. Once we had gotten here, the idea of getting a buzz on and forgetting about Kian had started to become more tempting.
Kian was too much in my head. Being open with him, hearing my name again, stirred up a hornet’s nest in me. I wanted to come clean. I wanted to be myself. But the media, the damn media, would hunt me. They would stalk me. They would invade my privacy over and over again and then do it all over once more.
Erica, Wanker, Jake—all of them would go. I didn’t even know if I would have my job. Henry would be ecstatic.
I checked my phone. I’d been in here for ten minutes. I needed to finish up and go face the music. After washing my hands, I reached for the door but paused. I took a deep breath.
One more night. There’s nothing different about tonight. One more show for the Oscars, just like I’ve been performing since I became Joslyn Keen.
My hand opened the door.
And here I go.
I stopped short.
Erica, Wanker, Jake, along with ten others squished behind them were all standing in the hallway. I glanced over my shoulder, but their stares were focused on me. They were waiting for me. An uneasy sensation began in me. All of them had different expressions. Erica’s eyes were wide, accusing, angry…and then I looked closer to see…hurt.
I took her hand from my arm and held it, squeezing it. We needed to get back to basics. I could use the distraction from Kian anyway.
I said, “When you sell your piece to a major paper, you and I will celebrate, and we’ll do our roommate-weekend thing.”
“You and me?”
“You and me.”
Her eyes welled up, and she flicked a tear away with the back of her hand. “Thanks for saying that. Sometimes, I think I’ll never get out of Susan’s shadow. She’s so evil.”
I laughed. “You’re a good person. She’s not. You’ll be fine in the long run. I really think that.”
“You think a big paper will buy my story?”
“I know they will. You have a different perspective on it.”
“Thanks, Jo. Sometimes, I think Susan gets me blackballed from projects at the paper. She got a major promotion at The Forum. I had been up for it, too, but they had chosen her. She’ll be gone next year.”
“Well then, next year is when you’ll shine. Screw Susan. She’ll be gone.”
“Yeah.” Erica’s head lifted. “You’re right.” She sighed, glancing over her shoulder. “I should get back to Wanker. He told me he wants to talk tonight. He’s already three sheets to the wind. Can’t imagine how that talk will go.”
The corner of my mouth curved down. “Be gentle with him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just”—he’s in love with you—“be easy with him. Whatever he wants to talk to you about must be hard for him if he’s drunk already.”
She groaned. “He shouldn’t do the serious talks when he’s pissing in the wind. That was our last big talk. He got drunk just like this when he told me not to room with you. Can you imagine how that went over? With his dick in his hand while watering the campus pond. The security guards weren’t amused.”
“He advised against you living with me?”
“Yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry. He had some trumped-up idea that you were hiding something. He’s an idiot. He’s apologized five times to me since then. He realized I would’ve missed out on a good roommate and friend.”
I had tensed but relaxed. Still, hearing that Wanker had been suspicious of me didn’t sit well with me. He’d picked up that I had a secret.
“Uh, yeah. Good thing you didn’t listen to him.”
“Go pee. I’ll have a drink ready for you.” She pretended to shove me toward the back hallway.
“Nope. No way, ladies.” A big guy materialized in front of us, blocking the hallway. He held his hands out to both sides of the wall, one hand still holding his drink. With curly blond hair, a shirt that said Mass U, and cargo shorts, he looked like one of Jake’s friends. “All the rooms are blocked off. If you need to use one, you gotta see Trent.”
He pointed to a guy with jet-black hair in the living room, holding court with a group of guys and girls. He was wearing similar cargo shorts and a shirt that said Boston. Both were tall and handsome with an athletic physique.
“I have to piss.”
“Oh.” He frowned, raking me up and down. “We’re using the first-floor bathroom for something else. Most chicks are sent downstairs, but there’s a bathroom upstairs. You can use that one, if you want.”
I shrugged. “As long as there’s a toilet, I don’t care.”
“Use the one upstairs. It’s at the end of the hallway, and if you run into anyone, just be discreet and quiet. A few of the rooms are occupied, if you get my drift. I’m Erik, by the way.”
Erica and I shared a look. Was this a party or a brothel?
She pointed to the kitchen. “I’ll, uh…get you a drink then.”
I nodded, heading for the stairs.
“Jo!” Jake was coming my way, holding two drinks in the air as he moved through the crowd.
Erica waved me off. “Go,” she said. “I’ll tell him you’re coming back.”
As I went up the stairs, I glimpsed Erica placing a hand on Jake’s chest, stopping him. He listened to her and then looked at me. He waved one of the drinks with a big smile on his face. I nodded, letting him know I got the message. A drink was waiting for me. Good. I’d need more than that one.
Right before I disappeared from sight, Wanker rushed up to Erica and shoved his phone in her face.
Then, I was upstairs. The hall was dark and quiet. A couple was standing in the hallway, and the girl was too chatty for my liking.
I have to go, people. Yes, yes, lots of love my way. She hates Susan and Tara. Don’t we all?
I slipped into the bathroom and sank down onto the toilet.
I needed a breather.
Kian dropped me off a block from my place. Erica warned me, but I hadn’t realized how insistent Jake would be when I got inside my apartment. The only thing he kept talking about was the party. I hadn’t been looking forward to it, but Erica promised we could leave after an hour. Once we had gotten here, the idea of getting a buzz on and forgetting about Kian had started to become more tempting.
Kian was too much in my head. Being open with him, hearing my name again, stirred up a hornet’s nest in me. I wanted to come clean. I wanted to be myself. But the media, the damn media, would hunt me. They would stalk me. They would invade my privacy over and over again and then do it all over once more.
Erica, Wanker, Jake—all of them would go. I didn’t even know if I would have my job. Henry would be ecstatic.
I checked my phone. I’d been in here for ten minutes. I needed to finish up and go face the music. After washing my hands, I reached for the door but paused. I took a deep breath.
One more night. There’s nothing different about tonight. One more show for the Oscars, just like I’ve been performing since I became Joslyn Keen.
My hand opened the door.
And here I go.
I stopped short.
Erica, Wanker, Jake, along with ten others squished behind them were all standing in the hallway. I glanced over my shoulder, but their stares were focused on me. They were waiting for me. An uneasy sensation began in me. All of them had different expressions. Erica’s eyes were wide, accusing, angry…and then I looked closer to see…hurt.
