I knew.
Justin had been so rough so many times.
And I would’ve gone. I was ripped open from the inside as I realized that. I would’ve gone. I would’ve been ecstatic to leave the house and get away from Edmund. And it would’ve happened because Justin always got me where he wanted.
Kian didn’t answer Snark, but I lifted my head.
My voice was hoarse as I said, “He would’ve raped me.”
Snark’s eyes widened.
I said, “That’s why we broke up. He’d tried to force me other times. I always stopped him, but the last time”—I winced, remembering the feel of his hands on my arms—“he was too rough. I broke up with him because of it.”
Snark nodded to Kian. “How did you know he would’ve done that? Did he say those words?”
“He implied it pretty clearly.” Kain hesitated, his chest lifting in a small breath. “And because I knew someone else he raped.”
My gaze whipped to his. He did?
He was watching me, remorse filling his eyes, and the corners of his mouth curved down. He was grimacing. “I couldn’t let him do that to you, too.”
“Who?” Snark’s voice rose. “Who did he rape? And will she testify?”
“My sister, and no, she won’t.”
“Your sister…” I trailed off, remembering the times when Felicia went to the courtroom. She was always with her mother, always with her head down, and her shoulders drooping slightly. She never looked at me. Ever. “I thought she hated me, she and your mother.”
“Felicia knew why I was going to your place, but it was never talked about again in my family. I told my parents and the lawyers why, but my dad forbade letting my real reason get out.”
I never saw his dad in the courtroom. “Why didn’t your dad come to the hearing? I don’t remember seeing him there.”
“Because he was upset with me. He didn’t do a thing when Cavers raped Felicia. Justin’s dad was”—he scowled—“a business colleague of my dad’s. That didn’t mean I could let Justin do it again. That’s why I went to your house.”
“You testified that you were going to a girl’s house though.” Snark crossed his arms over his chest. “It was a friends-with-benefits thing between you and the girl. She was expecting you to show up, too. She gave a statement backing you up.”
Kian lifted a shoulder. “I could’ve gone to her house. It was across the street from Jordan’s house. It would have been a good enough excuse for why I was at Jordan’s house.”
“The other girl didn’t actually know you were coming?”
“Someone called her later, told her that I’d been planning on going to her house. She was told what to testify about. It was how it was. I could go over whenever I wanted. She had no problem with backing me up. I’m sure she even believed it, too.”
Snark grunted, shaking his head. “The hardships of being young, wealthy, and good-looking.”
Kian’s lips pressed together into a flat line. “My dad forbade me to testify with the real reason I went to Jordan’s house. Couldn’t put ‘undue stress’ on a ‘beneficial alliance.’ Those were my dad’s actual words.”
My head was swimming.
He’d saved me from Edmund and from Justin. One just tortured me, and the other intended to rape me. What was worse was that I didn’t know if I would’ve gone to the police about either. If Edmund stopped, I would’ve convinced myself that he’d just snapped. He would’ve apologized, and nothing would’ve been said about it again. His wife, their two kids—they blamed me for Edmund’s death, and they never would’ve supported me if I’d gone to the police. Same thing with Justin. It would’ve been my word against his.
Shame filled me, making my insides form knots.
I would’ve allowed myself to become victimized. I wouldn’t have stood up, not like Kian had.
Feeling the burning in my throat and tears threatening to spill, I said huskily, “Thank you.”
He’d been waiting, and at my words, his shoulders slowly lowered. A silent sigh left him at the same time. As his Adam’s apple jerked up and paused at the top of his throat, he gave me a stiff nod. “You don’t hate me?”
How could I? He’d saved me in more ways than one.
I shook my head. “Never.”
“This is all fine and dandy, but we have serious issues to talk about.” Snark’s sharp tone broke my reverie.
I was pulled from the past and brought back to reality.
He added, “You have a roommate and an apartment with all your stuff. I suggest you deal with that before his team gets here.” He jerked a thumb in Kian’s direction and then threw him a shrewd look, his eyebrow arching up. “I’m assuming you’re going to demand that she stay here and not go with me?”
Kian threw me a questioning look, but his jaw hardened. “That’s up to Jordan.”
Jordan.
That was the second time he called me by my real name. The feeling washed over me, sending warmth through my body. It was my name, given to me by my real parents. It was nice, hearing it again, and I let myself savor the sensation.
“Jordan?” Snark added, his voice gruff.
Savoring moment was done. It was time to deal with real life. I clipped my head in a firm nod. “I ran from that party, but it might not be a bad idea to get back to my apartment before the media shows up, if they aren’t there already. I might not get another chance.” I glanced to Kian. “You probably shouldn’t come—”
He didn’t let me finish. “I’m coming.”
“Well then, okay, I guess.”
He shouldn’t go, but I was glad that he would. It didn’t make sense, and I didn’t care. The shitstorm that was called the media was about to descend on my life once again. I was going to endure everything I had before. I was about to be blamed for Kian going to jail.
I needed to go to hell. I was a whore. I was a cunt. I was a seductress from the ninth level of hell. I didn’t deserve happiness or to be alive. I should have died. And those were all the comments that would be yelled from non-media people. The media would paint me how they had before and during the trial, showing that I manipulated Kian into killing Edmund. Somehow, it was all my fault.
Justin had been so rough so many times.
And I would’ve gone. I was ripped open from the inside as I realized that. I would’ve gone. I would’ve been ecstatic to leave the house and get away from Edmund. And it would’ve happened because Justin always got me where he wanted.
Kian didn’t answer Snark, but I lifted my head.
My voice was hoarse as I said, “He would’ve raped me.”
Snark’s eyes widened.
I said, “That’s why we broke up. He’d tried to force me other times. I always stopped him, but the last time”—I winced, remembering the feel of his hands on my arms—“he was too rough. I broke up with him because of it.”
Snark nodded to Kian. “How did you know he would’ve done that? Did he say those words?”
“He implied it pretty clearly.” Kain hesitated, his chest lifting in a small breath. “And because I knew someone else he raped.”
My gaze whipped to his. He did?
He was watching me, remorse filling his eyes, and the corners of his mouth curved down. He was grimacing. “I couldn’t let him do that to you, too.”
“Who?” Snark’s voice rose. “Who did he rape? And will she testify?”
“My sister, and no, she won’t.”
“Your sister…” I trailed off, remembering the times when Felicia went to the courtroom. She was always with her mother, always with her head down, and her shoulders drooping slightly. She never looked at me. Ever. “I thought she hated me, she and your mother.”
“Felicia knew why I was going to your place, but it was never talked about again in my family. I told my parents and the lawyers why, but my dad forbade letting my real reason get out.”
I never saw his dad in the courtroom. “Why didn’t your dad come to the hearing? I don’t remember seeing him there.”
“Because he was upset with me. He didn’t do a thing when Cavers raped Felicia. Justin’s dad was”—he scowled—“a business colleague of my dad’s. That didn’t mean I could let Justin do it again. That’s why I went to your house.”
“You testified that you were going to a girl’s house though.” Snark crossed his arms over his chest. “It was a friends-with-benefits thing between you and the girl. She was expecting you to show up, too. She gave a statement backing you up.”
Kian lifted a shoulder. “I could’ve gone to her house. It was across the street from Jordan’s house. It would have been a good enough excuse for why I was at Jordan’s house.”
“The other girl didn’t actually know you were coming?”
“Someone called her later, told her that I’d been planning on going to her house. She was told what to testify about. It was how it was. I could go over whenever I wanted. She had no problem with backing me up. I’m sure she even believed it, too.”
Snark grunted, shaking his head. “The hardships of being young, wealthy, and good-looking.”
Kian’s lips pressed together into a flat line. “My dad forbade me to testify with the real reason I went to Jordan’s house. Couldn’t put ‘undue stress’ on a ‘beneficial alliance.’ Those were my dad’s actual words.”
My head was swimming.
He’d saved me from Edmund and from Justin. One just tortured me, and the other intended to rape me. What was worse was that I didn’t know if I would’ve gone to the police about either. If Edmund stopped, I would’ve convinced myself that he’d just snapped. He would’ve apologized, and nothing would’ve been said about it again. His wife, their two kids—they blamed me for Edmund’s death, and they never would’ve supported me if I’d gone to the police. Same thing with Justin. It would’ve been my word against his.
Shame filled me, making my insides form knots.
I would’ve allowed myself to become victimized. I wouldn’t have stood up, not like Kian had.
Feeling the burning in my throat and tears threatening to spill, I said huskily, “Thank you.”
He’d been waiting, and at my words, his shoulders slowly lowered. A silent sigh left him at the same time. As his Adam’s apple jerked up and paused at the top of his throat, he gave me a stiff nod. “You don’t hate me?”
How could I? He’d saved me in more ways than one.
I shook my head. “Never.”
“This is all fine and dandy, but we have serious issues to talk about.” Snark’s sharp tone broke my reverie.
I was pulled from the past and brought back to reality.
He added, “You have a roommate and an apartment with all your stuff. I suggest you deal with that before his team gets here.” He jerked a thumb in Kian’s direction and then threw him a shrewd look, his eyebrow arching up. “I’m assuming you’re going to demand that she stay here and not go with me?”
Kian threw me a questioning look, but his jaw hardened. “That’s up to Jordan.”
Jordan.
That was the second time he called me by my real name. The feeling washed over me, sending warmth through my body. It was my name, given to me by my real parents. It was nice, hearing it again, and I let myself savor the sensation.
“Jordan?” Snark added, his voice gruff.
Savoring moment was done. It was time to deal with real life. I clipped my head in a firm nod. “I ran from that party, but it might not be a bad idea to get back to my apartment before the media shows up, if they aren’t there already. I might not get another chance.” I glanced to Kian. “You probably shouldn’t come—”
He didn’t let me finish. “I’m coming.”
“Well then, okay, I guess.”
He shouldn’t go, but I was glad that he would. It didn’t make sense, and I didn’t care. The shitstorm that was called the media was about to descend on my life once again. I was going to endure everything I had before. I was about to be blamed for Kian going to jail.
I needed to go to hell. I was a whore. I was a cunt. I was a seductress from the ninth level of hell. I didn’t deserve happiness or to be alive. I should have died. And those were all the comments that would be yelled from non-media people. The media would paint me how they had before and during the trial, showing that I manipulated Kian into killing Edmund. Somehow, it was all my fault.
