Kick, Push
Page 4

 Jay McLean

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Kim smiled warmly and it finally hit me—which of the two reactions she was having. Pity. People can’t hide pity—it lives in their eyes, not in their fake smiles. “We’re good,” I said, starting to turn away. “We don’t need your charity.”
“Whoa!” Robby grabbed my arm. “Josh, I don’t know what your problem is but my wife just invited you to dinner. Nothing else. If you don’t want to go you can just say no. You don’t have to throw her kindness in her face.”
I stepped back; my shoulders slumped in defeat. “I’m sorry,” I said, and I meant it. So maybe I was being over sensitive. I guess hearing the fact that your own father had completely cut all ties with you could do that to a person. I rubbed my eyes.
“Are you okay, Josh?” Robby asked.
“Yeah. Listen, I’m sorry. How about you guys get some takeout and bring it to my place? I’m starved, but I gotta get Tommy home.”
Kim smiled again—the pity in her eyes completely wiped.
I gave them my address and told them to give me an hour or so to get Tommy settled.
By the time I got home, Tommy was asleep in the backseat. I put him in his crib, unloaded the groceries and a moment later, they showed up. We ate and made small talk in-between the long awkward silences. They asked if I was seeing anybody and I told them I wasn’t really interested in girls at the moment.
“What, you’re gay?” Robby shouted.
I threw a plastic fork at his head. “Shut up. You’ll wake Tommy. And no, I’m not gay!” I shook my head at him. “I just mean that Tommy takes precedence and I haven’t really been with anyone since Natalie.”
“Tommy’s mom?” Kim asked.
I nodded. Honestly, it felt good to have someone to actually talk to that spoke back. Hunter was gone on an impromptu road trip so it didn’t leave me much as far as adult conversation went.
“How’s the skateboarding going?” Robby asked.
“It’s not.”
“What to do you mean? You loved skating.”
“Yeah,” I shrugged, “But I love Tommy more, and I couldn’t have both.”
“So you just gave it up?” Robby said, eyeing Kim sideways.
“That’s a big deal, Josh. It’s a huge sacrifice,” Kim said.
I laughed awkwardly. It was my go-to reaction when people started pushing the wrong buttons. “Nothing I do for Tommy is a sacrifice.”
Robby cleared his throat, then asked, “You still hang out with that basketball kid?”
“Hunter? Yeah. Well, kind of. I mean I hope so. Things have changed.”
“Changed?”

“He got engaged,” I said with a shrug.
“Oh yeah?” Kim asked. “That’s a little young.”
I stayed silent—opting to leave out the parts about their road trip and Chloe’s cancer diagnosis.
“Josh?” Kim said, and this time—I didn’t have to look in her eyes to feel her pity. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I said. But the truth? I’d been alone since Hunter had left. And not just alone or isolated or disregarded, but I was lonely. Though I’d never admit that to anyone.

I half-assed it through cleanup the next day and sped home. Robby had called earlier and said that he and Kim wanted to drop by to talk about something. Honestly, when they mentioned they’d keep in touch, I didn’t believe them. They came in and sat on the only couch I had and I pulled up a chair from the kitchen table.
I watched them.
They watched me.
Occasionally, they’d watch each other.
“So, good talk. Thanks for dropping by,” I said.
Robby laughed a little.
Kim cleared her throat and sat up straighter while Robby took her hand in his.
My eyes narrowed, my gaze moving from her to Robby. He smiled but it was tight. Then he kissed his wife on the cheek and focused his attention on me. “I know you said you didn’t want charity and we’re not here for that.”
I crossed my arms. “So what do you want?”
He glanced over at his wife again. “Kim—she loves kids. We both do… and that’s kind of why we’re here,” Robby said.
Confusion set in, only for a moment before I realized what the hell he was saying. “What the fire truck? You can’t have my kid!”
His eyes widened. “No, dickhead. We’re not asking for your kid.”
I sat back in my chair and uncrossed my arms. “So why are you here?”
“I wanted to offer you a job—one that I’m sure pays better than that bowling alley.”
“What kind of job?”
“I started my own construction company here. It has the potential to be pretty big thanks to the old man’s money. That’s why we moved back. I need laborers, Josh. There’s room to move higher in the company—if that’s something you’d be interested in. There’ll be deadlines to get a job complete, but you could make your own hours… work it around Tommy.” He sucked in a breath, then added, “I know you said you’re driving around in your friend’s car, which is fine, but if you were interested in the job you’d need to use the company truck. It’s a crew cab, so you’ll have room for Tommy in the back. It’ll be hard work, I’m not going to lie, but I’ll make sure the pay’s worth it.” He nudged Kim.
“Oh, me?” she asked, surprised.
He nodded.
She looked nervous.
It made me nervous.
She said, “I was wondering—I mean, if you decide to take the job… if maybe I could watch Tommy while you were working? I don’t work at the moment and it would be my pleasure.” She pulled out her phone from her pocket. “I can give you the numbers of personal references if you don’t feel like you can trust me right away. We can start a couple hours a week. Whatever you want, Josh. It would save you money on daycare—”
“Why?” I cut in, raising my chin and squaring my shoulders. “Why offer me a job, let me work my own hours, pay me well? Why give me a car and offer to watch my kid? Why?”
Robby answered, “Because you’re family, Josh, and regardless of how the world has shown you otherwise, decent people—they don’t turn their backs on their family.”

I took the offered job. I’d be stupid not to. Maybe it would help give Tommy and I a head start instead of living paycheck to paycheck and counting dimes. When I went to hand in my two weeks’ notice, the manager at the bowling alley told me to leave on the spot and not to bother coming back. It was kind of a blessing because it meant I could start work with Robby right away.
The work was hard, especially considering I’d been used to merely handing out shoes and taking people’s money. The pay, however, was good—a little too good. I tried to talk to Robby about it. I specifically told him he was paying me way too much. He called me a dickhead and told me to get back to work.
The first day, I pulled Tommy out of daycare and let Kim watch him. She came by the job site twice. I didn’t know if it was for her benefit or mine but I was grateful she did because truthfully, I was worried about how they’d get along. The fact that Tommy didn’t want to leave her house when I’d gone to pick him up sealed the deal.