Her eyes wandered over my face for several beats before she nodded, releasing my hand. "You already said that. And I told you that's okay."
Jesus. This girl.
"Yeah, I guess I did."
"I really, truly mean it. You have a friend." She smiled at me hopefully. And yet something moved behind her eyes.
Friends. Yeah. That's what we'd decided. It hadn't made me happy last night and it didn't make me happy now.
The molecules in the air surrounding us seemed to speed up and heat the space around our bodies. "So," she said brightly, "I brought you a Christmas present."
I slowly raised an eyebrow, trying to shake off the heat that had started buzzing through my system. I wanted her. I wanted to strip her naked. I wanted to thrust into her, hard and fast, and watch her face as I did it. I wanted to know what she was thinking as my body filled hers. I wanted to hear her talk, hear the way the Kentucky twang she tried to hide became more pronounced when she was emotional in some way. I wanted to see that fiery side of her that only came out every once in a while, like a sudden and stunning bolt of lightning racing through a clear, cloudless sky. I wanted to take her virginity—and not gently. I wanted to hurt her like she was hurting me each time I looked at her. I wanted to mark her, claim her, let everyone know that she belonged to me and only me.
Fuck!
No.
No.
No.
I couldn't let myself think any of that. I was leaving here and I was leaving Tenleigh behind. That was that. I wasn't such a jackass that I would de-virginize her and then split town never to contact her again. I wouldn't do it—not to her or to myself. I wanted a fresh start. I didn't want to leave any part of myself in Dennville. I had worked four fucking years for that. And it was right within my grasp. A beautiful girl with a spirit so bright I wanted to squint when I looked at her was not going to derail me now.
She took something out of the paper bag she'd set on the floor and looked at me quizzically. "That's a really intense look on your face."
I snapped to the present. "Sorry. Just thinking."
Tenleigh cocked her head. "Can we try not thinking today? Just for today? Can it be like last night when we just enjoyed each other? That wasn't so bad, was it?" She looked up at me through her lashes.
"No, that's the problem. I'm going to want more."
She blinked at me.
"Shit, Tenleigh." I ran my hand through my hair and turned away from her. "This isn't . . ." I sighed loudly. "What do you have for me there?"
She suddenly looked uncertain. "Uh . . . well," she stared down at the small object wrapped in tissue in her hands briefly and chuckled uncomfortably, "this suddenly seems weird."
I raised an eyebrow. "Now I really want it." I reached my hand out and she hesitated, but then put the object in my hand. It looked similar to the one Buster had given her the night before. I paused. It couldn't be . . . I unwrapped it quickly and sure enough, one of Buster's erotic whittles was sitting in my palm: a woman on all fours as the man fucked her from behind, his hands gripping her hips, her back arched. And damn if it wasn't outrageous, but damn if it didn't turn me the hell on. And damn if I didn't want to do that very thing to the girl standing in front of me. Here. Right now. I felt my body twitch.
I looked up at Tenleigh who suddenly looked mortified. "I have a whole collection," she said. "I thought you might get a laugh out of it." Her words faded as we stared at each other. She couldn't know how much this would turn me on. She wouldn't have given it to me had she known how much I wanted to carry out exactly what had been whittled by Buster. With her. To her. I glanced back down at the figures.
And then I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing, the ridiculous object just sitting in my hand. Tenleigh laughed, too, tentatively at first and then harder as we both stood there cracking up. Finally I gathered myself enough to walk over to the kitchen window and place it there. Perfect.
I walked back over to Tenleigh, smiling. "Thank you. Seriously." And I meant it. She hadn't set out to give me a homemade piece of whittled wood. She'd set out to make me laugh. And she had. And for me, that was the best gift of all.
"I brought a ham, too," she said, nodding to the paper bag. "Al gave one to all the full-time employees. My sister got one." She smiled. "Maybe we can heat it up later?"
"Sure, that—"
Before I even had time to fully answer, she clapped her hands together and I startled, my words cutting short.
"Sledding!"
"What?"
"Sledding. That's what we could do today. Marlo and I used to find a couple tire inner tubes in someone's front yard and go up the hill a ways—I know some of the best spots."
I stared at her. "I bet I know some better ones. My brother and I used to do that, too."
She grinned and tilted her head. "Really? I'm surprised we never ran into each other."
I laughed softly and shook my head. Only Tenleigh had the ability to turn my mood from one extreme to the other. How had it been that I was just telling her about one of the most traumatic things I'd ever experienced and now I was laughing?
"I guess it's as good an idea as any. What else are we gonna do?"
"Right." We stood looking at each other for a minute until she shrugged and said, "So . . . ready?"
"Yeah." But I stood frowning for a minute. "I'm gonna have to get you some of my brother's snow stuff. You'll have to roll it up and we'll have to improvise on a few things, but . . . I only have one set for myself."
Jesus. This girl.
"Yeah, I guess I did."
"I really, truly mean it. You have a friend." She smiled at me hopefully. And yet something moved behind her eyes.
Friends. Yeah. That's what we'd decided. It hadn't made me happy last night and it didn't make me happy now.
The molecules in the air surrounding us seemed to speed up and heat the space around our bodies. "So," she said brightly, "I brought you a Christmas present."
I slowly raised an eyebrow, trying to shake off the heat that had started buzzing through my system. I wanted her. I wanted to strip her naked. I wanted to thrust into her, hard and fast, and watch her face as I did it. I wanted to know what she was thinking as my body filled hers. I wanted to hear her talk, hear the way the Kentucky twang she tried to hide became more pronounced when she was emotional in some way. I wanted to see that fiery side of her that only came out every once in a while, like a sudden and stunning bolt of lightning racing through a clear, cloudless sky. I wanted to take her virginity—and not gently. I wanted to hurt her like she was hurting me each time I looked at her. I wanted to mark her, claim her, let everyone know that she belonged to me and only me.
Fuck!
No.
No.
No.
I couldn't let myself think any of that. I was leaving here and I was leaving Tenleigh behind. That was that. I wasn't such a jackass that I would de-virginize her and then split town never to contact her again. I wouldn't do it—not to her or to myself. I wanted a fresh start. I didn't want to leave any part of myself in Dennville. I had worked four fucking years for that. And it was right within my grasp. A beautiful girl with a spirit so bright I wanted to squint when I looked at her was not going to derail me now.
She took something out of the paper bag she'd set on the floor and looked at me quizzically. "That's a really intense look on your face."
I snapped to the present. "Sorry. Just thinking."
Tenleigh cocked her head. "Can we try not thinking today? Just for today? Can it be like last night when we just enjoyed each other? That wasn't so bad, was it?" She looked up at me through her lashes.
"No, that's the problem. I'm going to want more."
She blinked at me.
"Shit, Tenleigh." I ran my hand through my hair and turned away from her. "This isn't . . ." I sighed loudly. "What do you have for me there?"
She suddenly looked uncertain. "Uh . . . well," she stared down at the small object wrapped in tissue in her hands briefly and chuckled uncomfortably, "this suddenly seems weird."
I raised an eyebrow. "Now I really want it." I reached my hand out and she hesitated, but then put the object in my hand. It looked similar to the one Buster had given her the night before. I paused. It couldn't be . . . I unwrapped it quickly and sure enough, one of Buster's erotic whittles was sitting in my palm: a woman on all fours as the man fucked her from behind, his hands gripping her hips, her back arched. And damn if it wasn't outrageous, but damn if it didn't turn me the hell on. And damn if I didn't want to do that very thing to the girl standing in front of me. Here. Right now. I felt my body twitch.
I looked up at Tenleigh who suddenly looked mortified. "I have a whole collection," she said. "I thought you might get a laugh out of it." Her words faded as we stared at each other. She couldn't know how much this would turn me on. She wouldn't have given it to me had she known how much I wanted to carry out exactly what had been whittled by Buster. With her. To her. I glanced back down at the figures.
And then I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing, the ridiculous object just sitting in my hand. Tenleigh laughed, too, tentatively at first and then harder as we both stood there cracking up. Finally I gathered myself enough to walk over to the kitchen window and place it there. Perfect.
I walked back over to Tenleigh, smiling. "Thank you. Seriously." And I meant it. She hadn't set out to give me a homemade piece of whittled wood. She'd set out to make me laugh. And she had. And for me, that was the best gift of all.
"I brought a ham, too," she said, nodding to the paper bag. "Al gave one to all the full-time employees. My sister got one." She smiled. "Maybe we can heat it up later?"
"Sure, that—"
Before I even had time to fully answer, she clapped her hands together and I startled, my words cutting short.
"Sledding!"
"What?"
"Sledding. That's what we could do today. Marlo and I used to find a couple tire inner tubes in someone's front yard and go up the hill a ways—I know some of the best spots."
I stared at her. "I bet I know some better ones. My brother and I used to do that, too."
She grinned and tilted her head. "Really? I'm surprised we never ran into each other."
I laughed softly and shook my head. Only Tenleigh had the ability to turn my mood from one extreme to the other. How had it been that I was just telling her about one of the most traumatic things I'd ever experienced and now I was laughing?
"I guess it's as good an idea as any. What else are we gonna do?"
"Right." We stood looking at each other for a minute until she shrugged and said, "So . . . ready?"
"Yeah." But I stood frowning for a minute. "I'm gonna have to get you some of my brother's snow stuff. You'll have to roll it up and we'll have to improvise on a few things, but . . . I only have one set for myself."
