All that afternoon we played like kids, spinning down the hill as I shrieked and Kyland's deep laugh echoed through the quiet hills. We made snow angels, pointed out three bright red cardinals, and saw a couple of deer nibbling on some twigs at the edge of the forest. It was the best Christmas of my whole life.
We ate lunch at the top of the hill, sitting on our inner tubes eating the smashed bologna sandwiches Kyland had wrapped up in wax paper and stuck in his pocket before we left.
As the sun started to fade just a little, Kyland suggested we should get going. I was wet and cold, but I'd been willing to ignore it for the fun we were having.
"One more time down?" I asked.
"Okay." He laughed.
"Let's make it a good one."
"All right. I'll give you a push and then I'll be right behind you."
I nodded, grinning. I positioned myself on the inner tube and looked back at him to let him know I was ready.
"This is going to be fast."
"Good!" I said, laughing.
Kyland put both hands on my inner tube and with one giant shove, he sent me flying down the hill, spinning in immediate circles, the cold air whipping at my face and causing me to shriek out again and again.
Suddenly, my inner tube hit something under the snow that must have been uncovered in all the tracks we'd made down the hill. I went airborne, screaming, my inner tube shooting out ahead of me. Oh no, this was gonna hurt.
I landed face down in the snow, the air whooshing out of my lungs. Somewhere above me, I heard Kyland yell my name. I lay there for a minute, unhurt, but surprised, with cold wet snow pressed into my nose and mouth.
All of a sudden, I was flipped over and Kyland's panicked face was staring down at me. "Tenleigh, oh my God," he choked out. "Tell me you're okay."
He looked so scared, his eyes moving all over my face. I felt dazed, but not hurt. "I'm fine," I breathed out. "I'm fine, Kyland."
His shoulders relaxed and he released a big breath. He kept staring down at my face, something intense coming into his expression, as if he'd made some kind of decision. The moment seemed to slow, to still. I quietly watched him, waiting for him to do something. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but then snapped it shut, clenching his jaw.
And then he leaned in and his mouth was on mine, soft and warm on my frozen lips. He used his tongue to trace them, his breath mixing with my own before he pressed his lips to mine again and allowed the kiss to go deeper. He tasted like the remnants of salt from our sandwiches, and something deeper and more masculine: need.
My heart rate accelerated and warmth raced through my veins, ending in a rush of wetness between my legs. But, still, I held back. He had done this before and then he'd pushed me away. Please don't push me away this time.
"Kiss me back, Tenleigh," he whispered, his voice strained. "God, please kiss me back." He brushed his lips softly over mine again.
And that was all I needed.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and tilted my head, our eyes meeting once before he pressed his body into mine and gripped my face in his hands. His tongue ran along the crease of my lips and I opened immediately, a moan coming up my throat at the taste of him. He was all boy and mountain air and my body pressed upward into his, wanting to accept anything and everything he was offering.
Our tongues met and tangled and then he was moaning, too, sweeping his tongue as deeply into my mouth as he could. My body was tingly and alive and I felt his kiss all the way down to my toes.
The world faded out around me, the cold disappeared. It was only him and his hot, wet mouth on mine—in mine—and the taste of him, the weight of his hard body pressed into my own.
"Kyland, Kyland," I moaned out shamelessly when his mouth came off mine and his hot breath was suddenly at my throat. I arched my head backward into the snow as his lips feathered up the tender skin of my neck. And that shot more sparks between my legs, my nipples pebbling almost painfully under the layers of my clothes. "I need . . . oh God . . ." Everything. I needed everything. My body felt achy and empty and desperate.
"I want to take you home," he whispered against my skin.
I froze. "What?" Was he rejecting me again? I swear I'd claw his eyes out.
He lifted his head. "To my home." His gaze moved down to my mouth. He looked back into my eyes, something like fear in his as if he was waiting for me to hurt him.
Or as if he was hurting himself.
"I won't take your virginity, but God help me, I need to touch you. I need to taste you."
Oh yes, yes, I want that, too. I nodded, swallowing heavily.
"But I thought . . ." I whispered.
He shook his head. "I can't resist you. I tried. I really did." He brushed his lips against mine again and I opened my mouth and drank in his air.
"I don't want you to resist me."
He leaned his forehead against mine, my face still cupped in his warm hands. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt me."
I shook my head. "I understand that you're leaving, Kyland. I already know."
And I want you anyway. Maybe I shouldn't. But I do.
"This won't change anything. I have to know you understand that." He frowned, shaking his head. "I know that makes me an asshole. I know. I do. I just—"
"It's okay. I promise, it's okay."
His eyes moved over my face as if trying to ascertain if I was telling the truth. Finally he leaned forward and took my mouth in another warm kiss. He kissed me until we were both panting again, and my heartbeat was pounding so furiously between my legs it was almost painful.
We ate lunch at the top of the hill, sitting on our inner tubes eating the smashed bologna sandwiches Kyland had wrapped up in wax paper and stuck in his pocket before we left.
As the sun started to fade just a little, Kyland suggested we should get going. I was wet and cold, but I'd been willing to ignore it for the fun we were having.
"One more time down?" I asked.
"Okay." He laughed.
"Let's make it a good one."
"All right. I'll give you a push and then I'll be right behind you."
I nodded, grinning. I positioned myself on the inner tube and looked back at him to let him know I was ready.
"This is going to be fast."
"Good!" I said, laughing.
Kyland put both hands on my inner tube and with one giant shove, he sent me flying down the hill, spinning in immediate circles, the cold air whipping at my face and causing me to shriek out again and again.
Suddenly, my inner tube hit something under the snow that must have been uncovered in all the tracks we'd made down the hill. I went airborne, screaming, my inner tube shooting out ahead of me. Oh no, this was gonna hurt.
I landed face down in the snow, the air whooshing out of my lungs. Somewhere above me, I heard Kyland yell my name. I lay there for a minute, unhurt, but surprised, with cold wet snow pressed into my nose and mouth.
All of a sudden, I was flipped over and Kyland's panicked face was staring down at me. "Tenleigh, oh my God," he choked out. "Tell me you're okay."
He looked so scared, his eyes moving all over my face. I felt dazed, but not hurt. "I'm fine," I breathed out. "I'm fine, Kyland."
His shoulders relaxed and he released a big breath. He kept staring down at my face, something intense coming into his expression, as if he'd made some kind of decision. The moment seemed to slow, to still. I quietly watched him, waiting for him to do something. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but then snapped it shut, clenching his jaw.
And then he leaned in and his mouth was on mine, soft and warm on my frozen lips. He used his tongue to trace them, his breath mixing with my own before he pressed his lips to mine again and allowed the kiss to go deeper. He tasted like the remnants of salt from our sandwiches, and something deeper and more masculine: need.
My heart rate accelerated and warmth raced through my veins, ending in a rush of wetness between my legs. But, still, I held back. He had done this before and then he'd pushed me away. Please don't push me away this time.
"Kiss me back, Tenleigh," he whispered, his voice strained. "God, please kiss me back." He brushed his lips softly over mine again.
And that was all I needed.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and tilted my head, our eyes meeting once before he pressed his body into mine and gripped my face in his hands. His tongue ran along the crease of my lips and I opened immediately, a moan coming up my throat at the taste of him. He was all boy and mountain air and my body pressed upward into his, wanting to accept anything and everything he was offering.
Our tongues met and tangled and then he was moaning, too, sweeping his tongue as deeply into my mouth as he could. My body was tingly and alive and I felt his kiss all the way down to my toes.
The world faded out around me, the cold disappeared. It was only him and his hot, wet mouth on mine—in mine—and the taste of him, the weight of his hard body pressed into my own.
"Kyland, Kyland," I moaned out shamelessly when his mouth came off mine and his hot breath was suddenly at my throat. I arched my head backward into the snow as his lips feathered up the tender skin of my neck. And that shot more sparks between my legs, my nipples pebbling almost painfully under the layers of my clothes. "I need . . . oh God . . ." Everything. I needed everything. My body felt achy and empty and desperate.
"I want to take you home," he whispered against my skin.
I froze. "What?" Was he rejecting me again? I swear I'd claw his eyes out.
He lifted his head. "To my home." His gaze moved down to my mouth. He looked back into my eyes, something like fear in his as if he was waiting for me to hurt him.
Or as if he was hurting himself.
"I won't take your virginity, but God help me, I need to touch you. I need to taste you."
Oh yes, yes, I want that, too. I nodded, swallowing heavily.
"But I thought . . ." I whispered.
He shook his head. "I can't resist you. I tried. I really did." He brushed his lips against mine again and I opened my mouth and drank in his air.
"I don't want you to resist me."
He leaned his forehead against mine, my face still cupped in his warm hands. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt me."
I shook my head. "I understand that you're leaving, Kyland. I already know."
And I want you anyway. Maybe I shouldn't. But I do.
"This won't change anything. I have to know you understand that." He frowned, shaking his head. "I know that makes me an asshole. I know. I do. I just—"
"It's okay. I promise, it's okay."
His eyes moved over my face as if trying to ascertain if I was telling the truth. Finally he leaned forward and took my mouth in another warm kiss. He kissed me until we were both panting again, and my heartbeat was pounding so furiously between my legs it was almost painful.
