Her eyes grew wide. "What? Where the hell were you?"
She already knew Kyland had walked me home. I hesitantly told her everything that had happened before that, how I'd first met him just recently even though we were in school together and lived so close, what had happened at the library, the play . . . She was my sister, my best friend. I told her everything.
When I was finished, she studied me for a moment. "Wow, Tenleigh. I certainly missed a lot when I was lying around in that waiting room." She paused, seeming to consider all I'd told her. "And, at least he's been honest with you about where you stand. At least you know he's leaving. He's not trying to trick you into something and then take off like most of them do."
I nodded sadly. I couldn't deny that had been our collective experience thus far, but something inside of me still wanted to argue against it. Something inside of me still wanted to believe some men were good and honorable. And sometimes they stayed.
Only Kyland wouldn't stay. He'd made that exceedingly clear.
"Can you handle it, Ten?" Marlo asked softly.
"I don't know," I answered honestly. "But that might have been the extent of things anyway. You know, Christmas is lonely, and we have this attraction . . ." I ran a finger over my lips remembering the feel of his mouth on mine. "It might have just been the timing of everything, you know? That might be the extent of my non-relationship with Kyland Barrett." I sat up straighter. I'd be fine, though. I always was. I'd be fine because I had no other choice.
Marlo smiled and squeezed my hand. "I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to go lie down with Mama," she said, standing up, yawning. "I barely got any sleep at all in that hospital waiting room. Although it sounds like you didn't get much either."
After she'd shut the bathroom door behind her, I sat on the couch alone again. After a few minutes, I grabbed my book and lay back. I had trouble concentrating, thoughts of Kyland swirling through my mind, a feeling of melancholy overwhelming my heart.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Tenleigh
There was a soft tapping on the door of my trailer. I pulled myself from the deep sleep I'd been in and sat up. It was utterly dark. What the heck?
The tapping came again. I pulled the quilt around my body and said very quietly against the door, "Who is it?"
"Kyland."
My heart flipped. I pulled the door open. Kyland stood there in his coat and hat, his hands shoved in his pockets and a look I couldn't read on his face.
"Hi." I smiled sleepily. "What are you doing here?" I asked, glancing back at the bedroom.
"I, uh, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
I furrowed my brow, pulling the quilt more tightly around myself as the cold air from outside chilled me. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" I asked.
He blinked at me. "Uh, I figured your mama was home. You know, I just wanted to check on you . . . her . . ."
"In the middle of the night? You could have come by earlier today."
Kyland looked up at the dark, starlit sky as if this was the first time he'd realized it was nighttime. He looked back at me, the expression on his face embarrassed and unsure. I tilted my head and studied him standing there under the winter sky, his breath pluming in the cold air.
"Are you lonely, Ky?" I asked softly.
He looked shocked. "What?" He shook his head. "No, I mean, that's not why I'm here. I'm not here for me. I'm here for you."
I tilted my head and licked my bottom lip. His eyes darted to it and he swallowed.
"It's okay to want something for yourself sometimes."
It's okay to want me. I hope you do. God, I hope you do.
He nodded. "I know, I just thought you'd probably be getting your mama settled . . . How is she?"
"She's okay. Better. She got up and helped make dinner tonight. So that was a good sign."
He nodded and we were both silent for a second as he shifted on his feet.
"You should tell me to go, Tenleigh. And say it like you mean it. Tell me to leave because I can't seem to do it on my own."
I blinked at him. "I don't want you to leave."
A loud whoosh of air escaped his throat and he shifted on his feet some more.
"Do you want me to come back to your place?"
His eyes met mine. "Could you? I mean, you can? You could?"
I nodded my head. "Yeah. Hold on." I stepped back inside and quietly closed the door. I quickly wrote a note to Marlo, letting her know I'd gone to Kyland's and that I'd be home in the morning. She'd make an excuse for me to Mama. We didn't talk to Mama about that kind of thing. We just simply never had. It'd be weird to start now.
I was already wearing sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt, so I just pulled my boots and jacket on quietly and left the trailer.
The look on Kyland's face when I stepped outside was pure relief. "You sure this is okay?" he asked.
"Yes, it's fine. I figured you hadn't gotten your fill of my body yet," I teased. He stopped, looking stricken.
"Tenleigh, no, that's not why I'm here. I'm not here to use you. I just . . . sleeping with you last night was so . . . and I couldn't, and I thought, maybe you couldn't . . ." He laughed a humorless laugh, frowning up at the sky. "I'm really fumbling this. And I woke you up in the middle of the night—"
She already knew Kyland had walked me home. I hesitantly told her everything that had happened before that, how I'd first met him just recently even though we were in school together and lived so close, what had happened at the library, the play . . . She was my sister, my best friend. I told her everything.
When I was finished, she studied me for a moment. "Wow, Tenleigh. I certainly missed a lot when I was lying around in that waiting room." She paused, seeming to consider all I'd told her. "And, at least he's been honest with you about where you stand. At least you know he's leaving. He's not trying to trick you into something and then take off like most of them do."
I nodded sadly. I couldn't deny that had been our collective experience thus far, but something inside of me still wanted to argue against it. Something inside of me still wanted to believe some men were good and honorable. And sometimes they stayed.
Only Kyland wouldn't stay. He'd made that exceedingly clear.
"Can you handle it, Ten?" Marlo asked softly.
"I don't know," I answered honestly. "But that might have been the extent of things anyway. You know, Christmas is lonely, and we have this attraction . . ." I ran a finger over my lips remembering the feel of his mouth on mine. "It might have just been the timing of everything, you know? That might be the extent of my non-relationship with Kyland Barrett." I sat up straighter. I'd be fine, though. I always was. I'd be fine because I had no other choice.
Marlo smiled and squeezed my hand. "I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to go lie down with Mama," she said, standing up, yawning. "I barely got any sleep at all in that hospital waiting room. Although it sounds like you didn't get much either."
After she'd shut the bathroom door behind her, I sat on the couch alone again. After a few minutes, I grabbed my book and lay back. I had trouble concentrating, thoughts of Kyland swirling through my mind, a feeling of melancholy overwhelming my heart.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Tenleigh
There was a soft tapping on the door of my trailer. I pulled myself from the deep sleep I'd been in and sat up. It was utterly dark. What the heck?
The tapping came again. I pulled the quilt around my body and said very quietly against the door, "Who is it?"
"Kyland."
My heart flipped. I pulled the door open. Kyland stood there in his coat and hat, his hands shoved in his pockets and a look I couldn't read on his face.
"Hi." I smiled sleepily. "What are you doing here?" I asked, glancing back at the bedroom.
"I, uh, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
I furrowed my brow, pulling the quilt more tightly around myself as the cold air from outside chilled me. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" I asked.
He blinked at me. "Uh, I figured your mama was home. You know, I just wanted to check on you . . . her . . ."
"In the middle of the night? You could have come by earlier today."
Kyland looked up at the dark, starlit sky as if this was the first time he'd realized it was nighttime. He looked back at me, the expression on his face embarrassed and unsure. I tilted my head and studied him standing there under the winter sky, his breath pluming in the cold air.
"Are you lonely, Ky?" I asked softly.
He looked shocked. "What?" He shook his head. "No, I mean, that's not why I'm here. I'm not here for me. I'm here for you."
I tilted my head and licked my bottom lip. His eyes darted to it and he swallowed.
"It's okay to want something for yourself sometimes."
It's okay to want me. I hope you do. God, I hope you do.
He nodded. "I know, I just thought you'd probably be getting your mama settled . . . How is she?"
"She's okay. Better. She got up and helped make dinner tonight. So that was a good sign."
He nodded and we were both silent for a second as he shifted on his feet.
"You should tell me to go, Tenleigh. And say it like you mean it. Tell me to leave because I can't seem to do it on my own."
I blinked at him. "I don't want you to leave."
A loud whoosh of air escaped his throat and he shifted on his feet some more.
"Do you want me to come back to your place?"
His eyes met mine. "Could you? I mean, you can? You could?"
I nodded my head. "Yeah. Hold on." I stepped back inside and quietly closed the door. I quickly wrote a note to Marlo, letting her know I'd gone to Kyland's and that I'd be home in the morning. She'd make an excuse for me to Mama. We didn't talk to Mama about that kind of thing. We just simply never had. It'd be weird to start now.
I was already wearing sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt, so I just pulled my boots and jacket on quietly and left the trailer.
The look on Kyland's face when I stepped outside was pure relief. "You sure this is okay?" he asked.
"Yes, it's fine. I figured you hadn't gotten your fill of my body yet," I teased. He stopped, looking stricken.
"Tenleigh, no, that's not why I'm here. I'm not here to use you. I just . . . sleeping with you last night was so . . . and I couldn't, and I thought, maybe you couldn't . . ." He laughed a humorless laugh, frowning up at the sky. "I'm really fumbling this. And I woke you up in the middle of the night—"
