"You're a rebel, Al," I said. Truthfully, I wished Al would follow the law considering my sister and her lungs worked here and had for quite some time. But Al was Al and what he lacked in workplace health practices, he made up for in other qualities. He paid a fair wage and he protected his girls to the best of his ability.
I'd come into the bar a few days before and asked if I could pick up some shifts. Al had welcomed me back. And luckily for me, one of his regular waitresses had recently quit.
So here I was—back in Dennville, Kentucky, living in the same rickety trailer, and working in the same smoke-filled bar, overcome with sadness and despair over the same lying, cheating boy. "You've come a real long way, Tenleigh," I murmured to myself as I wiped down a table and cleared the beer bottles. Only in actuality, I had. I had a college degree now. It changed everything. I took a deep breath, determined not to let the run-in of earlier that week completely ruin me. I had chosen this. I had chosen to come back. And I needed to deal with it. I'd never really faced it because I hadn't had to—the distance between Kyland and me had made it a little easier to pretend he didn't exist. But now it was utterly clear that he did exist. And for some unknown reason, he was angry and bitter with me for returning. I snorted. "Asshole," I murmured again to myself.
The rest of the early evening went by quickly. It was Friday night so I expected it would be crowded. Since I'd been gone, Al had added a small platform area that worked as a stage and a dance floor. Tonight he had a local Kentucky band performing live. By nine o'clock the bar was filled with people, drinking, dancing, and laughing boisterously. Marlo was working, too, and Sam had come by to listen to the band. When he walked in, I gave him a big hug and showed him to Marlo's section.
"You look great, Tenleigh," he shouted over the noise.
"Thanks, Sam." I grinned at him. "You treating my sister good?"
He got a shy, lovesick look on his face. Oh boy. "Always," he said.
I laughed, winked, and walked him to a table. I leaned on the back of the chair facing him on the other side of where he was now sitting. "Hey, Sam, before I grab you a beer, I wanted to thank you for what you're doing for our mama. Marlo says she's doing really great, and that's all because of you."
He flinched slightly and glanced away for a minute. Had I embarrassed him? "I'd do anything for your family, for Marlo," he said.
I grinned. "I've always liked you, Sam."
He laughed and pushed his glasses up on his nose. I stood up and went to get him a beer. The guy wasn't giving up on my hardheaded sister, and he was doing something wonderful for our mama. I couldn't help but like him—he was one of the few good ones. As happy as I was for Marlo, and as much as she deserved a good man who was willing to fight for her, I couldn't help the melancholy I felt as I stood at the bar waiting for Sam's beer. Would I ever have that? Would someone ever love me that way? Would I ever love someone like I'd loved Kyland? Did I want to ever love someone that intensely again? I'd sworn off love forever after Kyland broke my heart, but that vow hadn't been sustainable. I still longed for love. I ached for someone to hold me tight and tell me everything was going to be okay, to kiss my forehead tenderly, and reach for me in the darkness.
"Looks like you could use this," Al said, sliding a shot down the bar to me.
I was jolted out of my reverie. "What is it?"
"Don't ask stupid questions, just bottoms up."
I laughed. Al was not opposed to his waitresses doing a shot or two during a shift. Sometimes you needed a little something to get you through a night of being jostled and groped by drunks. Ah, hell, why not? I did need a drink. I needed to quiet my own brain. I threw the shot back and grimaced as the fiery liquid burned down my throat. I leaned over the bar and grabbed a lime and stuck it in my mouth, turning away from the bar as I sucked out the sour liquid.
For the second time that week, my eyes met with stony gray ones. Kyland. My whole body froze and I just stared at him, my heart pounding in my ears.
He was standing stock-still right at the doorway, glaring across the space at me, a look of shock on his face. And suddenly all the air in the place seemed to be sucked right out the door.
The raucous noise of the bar faded away as we held eye contact. And then, from behind him, Shelly appeared. I took a step backward, the bar hitting my back. Her appearance felt like a punch to the gut. Shelly looked at Kyland and then followed his eyes to me. Something that looked like sympathy came into her expression and I looked away, turning back around to the bar. I took several deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I grabbed Sam's beer and put it on my tray and walked it toward his table, not glancing toward the door again. Hopefully when Kyland had seen me, he'd left. I straightened my spine.
I went back to the bar and Marlo pulled me aside. "Kyland's here. You okay?" Her expressive eyes were wide with concern.
"I'm fine," I insisted, even though I wasn't exactly sure. "I thought I was the one who was angry, but he seems to hate me." Hurt and confusion assaulted my chest.
"Why would he hate you? For getting out of here when he screwed his life up?"
I chewed on my lip. "I don't know. Do Kyland and Shelly come in here often?"
She shook her head. "I've never seen them in here."
I frowned. "Huh. Well, we both have to live in this town. Or rather, I've decided to live in this town—for now. And so he can deal with it—whatever his problem is."
I'd come into the bar a few days before and asked if I could pick up some shifts. Al had welcomed me back. And luckily for me, one of his regular waitresses had recently quit.
So here I was—back in Dennville, Kentucky, living in the same rickety trailer, and working in the same smoke-filled bar, overcome with sadness and despair over the same lying, cheating boy. "You've come a real long way, Tenleigh," I murmured to myself as I wiped down a table and cleared the beer bottles. Only in actuality, I had. I had a college degree now. It changed everything. I took a deep breath, determined not to let the run-in of earlier that week completely ruin me. I had chosen this. I had chosen to come back. And I needed to deal with it. I'd never really faced it because I hadn't had to—the distance between Kyland and me had made it a little easier to pretend he didn't exist. But now it was utterly clear that he did exist. And for some unknown reason, he was angry and bitter with me for returning. I snorted. "Asshole," I murmured again to myself.
The rest of the early evening went by quickly. It was Friday night so I expected it would be crowded. Since I'd been gone, Al had added a small platform area that worked as a stage and a dance floor. Tonight he had a local Kentucky band performing live. By nine o'clock the bar was filled with people, drinking, dancing, and laughing boisterously. Marlo was working, too, and Sam had come by to listen to the band. When he walked in, I gave him a big hug and showed him to Marlo's section.
"You look great, Tenleigh," he shouted over the noise.
"Thanks, Sam." I grinned at him. "You treating my sister good?"
He got a shy, lovesick look on his face. Oh boy. "Always," he said.
I laughed, winked, and walked him to a table. I leaned on the back of the chair facing him on the other side of where he was now sitting. "Hey, Sam, before I grab you a beer, I wanted to thank you for what you're doing for our mama. Marlo says she's doing really great, and that's all because of you."
He flinched slightly and glanced away for a minute. Had I embarrassed him? "I'd do anything for your family, for Marlo," he said.
I grinned. "I've always liked you, Sam."
He laughed and pushed his glasses up on his nose. I stood up and went to get him a beer. The guy wasn't giving up on my hardheaded sister, and he was doing something wonderful for our mama. I couldn't help but like him—he was one of the few good ones. As happy as I was for Marlo, and as much as she deserved a good man who was willing to fight for her, I couldn't help the melancholy I felt as I stood at the bar waiting for Sam's beer. Would I ever have that? Would someone ever love me that way? Would I ever love someone like I'd loved Kyland? Did I want to ever love someone that intensely again? I'd sworn off love forever after Kyland broke my heart, but that vow hadn't been sustainable. I still longed for love. I ached for someone to hold me tight and tell me everything was going to be okay, to kiss my forehead tenderly, and reach for me in the darkness.
"Looks like you could use this," Al said, sliding a shot down the bar to me.
I was jolted out of my reverie. "What is it?"
"Don't ask stupid questions, just bottoms up."
I laughed. Al was not opposed to his waitresses doing a shot or two during a shift. Sometimes you needed a little something to get you through a night of being jostled and groped by drunks. Ah, hell, why not? I did need a drink. I needed to quiet my own brain. I threw the shot back and grimaced as the fiery liquid burned down my throat. I leaned over the bar and grabbed a lime and stuck it in my mouth, turning away from the bar as I sucked out the sour liquid.
For the second time that week, my eyes met with stony gray ones. Kyland. My whole body froze and I just stared at him, my heart pounding in my ears.
He was standing stock-still right at the doorway, glaring across the space at me, a look of shock on his face. And suddenly all the air in the place seemed to be sucked right out the door.
The raucous noise of the bar faded away as we held eye contact. And then, from behind him, Shelly appeared. I took a step backward, the bar hitting my back. Her appearance felt like a punch to the gut. Shelly looked at Kyland and then followed his eyes to me. Something that looked like sympathy came into her expression and I looked away, turning back around to the bar. I took several deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I grabbed Sam's beer and put it on my tray and walked it toward his table, not glancing toward the door again. Hopefully when Kyland had seen me, he'd left. I straightened my spine.
I went back to the bar and Marlo pulled me aside. "Kyland's here. You okay?" Her expressive eyes were wide with concern.
"I'm fine," I insisted, even though I wasn't exactly sure. "I thought I was the one who was angry, but he seems to hate me." Hurt and confusion assaulted my chest.
"Why would he hate you? For getting out of here when he screwed his life up?"
I chewed on my lip. "I don't know. Do Kyland and Shelly come in here often?"
She shook her head. "I've never seen them in here."
I frowned. "Huh. Well, we both have to live in this town. Or rather, I've decided to live in this town—for now. And so he can deal with it—whatever his problem is."
