Lady of Light and Shadows
Page 19
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"Then why are you summoning Air?" Kieran asked.
Adrial frowned. "I ..." The sparks in his eyes faded. "Was I?" He pressed the heels of his palms to his temples and squeezed his eyes shut. "Perhaps I should lie down." He allowed Rowan to lead him to the couch.
"Talk to me, Adrial," Rowan urged. "You've blocked me out. I can't reach you with Spirit. You must talk to me." He spared a brief, fierce look at Bel. "We need Marissya.”
Bel nodded, and his eyes lost focus as he reached across distance with a weave of Spirit. He was calling Marissya. "She comes," he said a moment later.
«Shei’tani.» Rain's voice sounded in Ellie's mind, strong and clear, but with an underlying tone of concern. «We are on our way. Stay away from Adrial.»
Stay away? She looked at Adrial and bit her lip. But he was in such pain. Her every instinct demanded that she help him. She stepped towards Adrial, only to find her way blocked by Belliard.
"Nei, Ellysetta. You must not defy the Feyreisen on this. Until we know what ails Adrial, you must not go near him."
"But-”
«Ellysetta, obey me!» There was no hint of the kind, courting suitor now. Only pure, autocratic king, accustomed to obedience, demanding it without question.
She flinched and glared at Bel, mostly because Rain wasn't there to be glared at, but also because she knew Bel had told on her. "I only want to help.”
"You can help most by doing as your shei'tan tells you." Bel glanced at Rowan and Adrial, then added silently, «Ellysetta, listen to me. You saw Adrial summoning Air without realizing it. He wields Earth, too, and some Fire. He could hurt you, badly. The shei'dalin in you wants to help him. But you are also the Feyreisa. You cannot put yourself at risk. »
With every muscle in her body protesting, Ellie backed away from Adrial. She hated the Fey's rigid belief that the Feyreisa must be protected from all harm, hated watching Adrial's pain and being refused even the chance to try to help him. The one thing she'd always been good at was easing the wounds and emotions of those she loved.
"Talk to me, Adrial," Rowan urged again.
"I can't think." Adrial pressed his hands over his eyes. "It's so flaming hard to think. My mind is going in a thousand different directions." He leaned his head back against the couch and gave a soft, despairing groan. "Last night it was as if there was someone else in my mind, and now it's as if part of me, part of my soul, is missing. I keep searching but I can't find it. I'm lost. Gods, I'm so lost." His eyes opened. Hollow, devastated eyes. He grabbed his brother's tunic. "Help me, Rowan.”
Rowan was weeping. "I will, Adrial. I'll help you. On my soul, I swear it.”
Ellie was weeping too. She had done this to him. Whatever now tortured Adrial, it had entered his soul because of her, because she in her ignorance and drunken daydreams had spun a weave that left him vulnerable.
It was too much. She couldn't just stand by and do nothing. Adrial's pain was ripping at her, tearing her heart. She stared hard at him, took a deep breath, and for the first time in her life, deliberately tried to use her magic. She thought about the shining threads she'd seen Marissya weave. imagined glowing ribbons of light and power, weaving together in a net of healing magic. Imagined the net settling over Adrial. She concentrated, trying to turn the images into reality.
Nothing happened.
She tried to remember what she'd done last night, emboldened by pinalle and keflee, but it was all still so hazy. She hadn't intentionally woven magic, she'd just let her mind wander. Ellie cleared her thoughts and tried letting her mind wander now. She took deep, calming breaths and thought soothing things, calming thoughts, trying to project them onto Adrial.
Again, nothing happened.
What good was magic if she couldn't use it on demand? Frustration and empathetic pain beat at her. Adrial's Fey-beautiful face was carved with lines of anguish, his warrior's body shaking as he clung to his brother and wept, pleading for someone, anyone, to help him.
Biting her lip, desperate to repair the harm she'd somehow done him, Ellysetta closed her eyes and prayed. "Gods, please, help him. Make it stop. Take away the pain."
CHAPTER FOUR
"You took away his memories, Ellysetta.”
"I said I was sorry!" Ellie met Rain's angry look without flinching. Well, with only a little flinch. Still, it was easier to face Rain's anger than the sad disappointment in Bel's face. Anger let her get angry back. Bel's disappointment made her feel like a belly-crawling porgil, as if she'd somehow betrayed him. "You told me not to go near him, and I didn't." She glared at Bel. She hadn't betrayed anyone. "I didn't! You never said I couldn't try to heal him.”
When Marissya, Rain, and Dax had arrived, they'd found Adrial resting quietly, with no memories of the previous night or the emptiness that had haunted him this morning. The last eighteen bells were a blank slate in his mind, wiped completely clean. And when Marissya had made that announcement, a dozen pairs of accusing eyes had turned on Ellie, who had only been able to bite her lip and say, hopefully, "I'm sorry?”
It was, of course, the wrong thing to say. It started off a firestorm of recriminations from Rain, an angry tirade that was still going full steam even now, a full quarter bell later. Adrial had already returned to the palace, accompanied by Marissya, Dax, and Rowan. Teris and Cyr, two warriors from Ravel's quintet, had returned to replace Adrial and Rowan. And Rain was still lecturing Ellie furiously.
Adrial frowned. "I ..." The sparks in his eyes faded. "Was I?" He pressed the heels of his palms to his temples and squeezed his eyes shut. "Perhaps I should lie down." He allowed Rowan to lead him to the couch.
"Talk to me, Adrial," Rowan urged. "You've blocked me out. I can't reach you with Spirit. You must talk to me." He spared a brief, fierce look at Bel. "We need Marissya.”
Bel nodded, and his eyes lost focus as he reached across distance with a weave of Spirit. He was calling Marissya. "She comes," he said a moment later.
«Shei’tani.» Rain's voice sounded in Ellie's mind, strong and clear, but with an underlying tone of concern. «We are on our way. Stay away from Adrial.»
Stay away? She looked at Adrial and bit her lip. But he was in such pain. Her every instinct demanded that she help him. She stepped towards Adrial, only to find her way blocked by Belliard.
"Nei, Ellysetta. You must not defy the Feyreisen on this. Until we know what ails Adrial, you must not go near him."
"But-”
«Ellysetta, obey me!» There was no hint of the kind, courting suitor now. Only pure, autocratic king, accustomed to obedience, demanding it without question.
She flinched and glared at Bel, mostly because Rain wasn't there to be glared at, but also because she knew Bel had told on her. "I only want to help.”
"You can help most by doing as your shei'tan tells you." Bel glanced at Rowan and Adrial, then added silently, «Ellysetta, listen to me. You saw Adrial summoning Air without realizing it. He wields Earth, too, and some Fire. He could hurt you, badly. The shei'dalin in you wants to help him. But you are also the Feyreisa. You cannot put yourself at risk. »
With every muscle in her body protesting, Ellie backed away from Adrial. She hated the Fey's rigid belief that the Feyreisa must be protected from all harm, hated watching Adrial's pain and being refused even the chance to try to help him. The one thing she'd always been good at was easing the wounds and emotions of those she loved.
"Talk to me, Adrial," Rowan urged again.
"I can't think." Adrial pressed his hands over his eyes. "It's so flaming hard to think. My mind is going in a thousand different directions." He leaned his head back against the couch and gave a soft, despairing groan. "Last night it was as if there was someone else in my mind, and now it's as if part of me, part of my soul, is missing. I keep searching but I can't find it. I'm lost. Gods, I'm so lost." His eyes opened. Hollow, devastated eyes. He grabbed his brother's tunic. "Help me, Rowan.”
Rowan was weeping. "I will, Adrial. I'll help you. On my soul, I swear it.”
Ellie was weeping too. She had done this to him. Whatever now tortured Adrial, it had entered his soul because of her, because she in her ignorance and drunken daydreams had spun a weave that left him vulnerable.
It was too much. She couldn't just stand by and do nothing. Adrial's pain was ripping at her, tearing her heart. She stared hard at him, took a deep breath, and for the first time in her life, deliberately tried to use her magic. She thought about the shining threads she'd seen Marissya weave. imagined glowing ribbons of light and power, weaving together in a net of healing magic. Imagined the net settling over Adrial. She concentrated, trying to turn the images into reality.
Nothing happened.
She tried to remember what she'd done last night, emboldened by pinalle and keflee, but it was all still so hazy. She hadn't intentionally woven magic, she'd just let her mind wander. Ellie cleared her thoughts and tried letting her mind wander now. She took deep, calming breaths and thought soothing things, calming thoughts, trying to project them onto Adrial.
Again, nothing happened.
What good was magic if she couldn't use it on demand? Frustration and empathetic pain beat at her. Adrial's Fey-beautiful face was carved with lines of anguish, his warrior's body shaking as he clung to his brother and wept, pleading for someone, anyone, to help him.
Biting her lip, desperate to repair the harm she'd somehow done him, Ellysetta closed her eyes and prayed. "Gods, please, help him. Make it stop. Take away the pain."
CHAPTER FOUR
"You took away his memories, Ellysetta.”
"I said I was sorry!" Ellie met Rain's angry look without flinching. Well, with only a little flinch. Still, it was easier to face Rain's anger than the sad disappointment in Bel's face. Anger let her get angry back. Bel's disappointment made her feel like a belly-crawling porgil, as if she'd somehow betrayed him. "You told me not to go near him, and I didn't." She glared at Bel. She hadn't betrayed anyone. "I didn't! You never said I couldn't try to heal him.”
When Marissya, Rain, and Dax had arrived, they'd found Adrial resting quietly, with no memories of the previous night or the emptiness that had haunted him this morning. The last eighteen bells were a blank slate in his mind, wiped completely clean. And when Marissya had made that announcement, a dozen pairs of accusing eyes had turned on Ellie, who had only been able to bite her lip and say, hopefully, "I'm sorry?”
It was, of course, the wrong thing to say. It started off a firestorm of recriminations from Rain, an angry tirade that was still going full steam even now, a full quarter bell later. Adrial had already returned to the palace, accompanied by Marissya, Dax, and Rowan. Teris and Cyr, two warriors from Ravel's quintet, had returned to replace Adrial and Rowan. And Rain was still lecturing Ellie furiously.
