I squeezed his hand.
“He had fire and temper too. I saw him lose at cards once and he beat the man—the bigger man—to a bloody mess because he cheated. It took a lot to get him angry, but Heaven help you if you did.” He shook his head. “He taught me so much about strength and power. That the man who is truly powerful has the option to forgive, to pardon, to forgo vengeance and violence. It’s the weak man that must prove himself through such.” He looked at me. “I always thought my father was weak. He was a very tolerant man, very forgiving and kind. I thought it meant people took advantage of him. Richard made me think very differently of my father. Then he died, and I never got the chance to tell him just how much I loved him and respected him. And honored what he taught me.”
I smiled at him, half for the softness of what he were saying, and half because I’d never heard him talk like this about war, and I loved it. Sliding my palm against his, he clasped mine gentle. “What are you smiling at?”
“My sheriff,” I said. “So did you want to marry at sunset to beat John to matrimony?” I asked.
He brightened. “I didn’t even think of that. Good! That’s justice.”
I laughed, and he pulled me against him. “He were so happy tonight.”
A kiss landed in my hair. “We all were. In the castle, no less. Hard to imagine.”
“It’s the beginning of everything,” I said, closing my eyes into the daydream, thinking of how it were meant to be. “I don’t have to be a noble anymore, and the shire can all be free and happy under a fair sheriff.”
“Well, you’re still a noble,” he corrected. “But you don’t have to dress like one, if you don’t wish.”
“Eleanor called me a princess,” I told him quiet. “She said it’s my duty not just to protect Nottingham, but all of England.”
“That’s because she wants you with her,” he said. “She’s very clever like that.”
“It doesn’t mean it’s a lie.”
“No. But it also doesn’t mean you have to do it. Or even that you can.”
I sighed. “I don’t want to be noble at all. I just want to be Scarlet.”
His breath was in my hair. “Even Scarlet was noble, she just didn’t tell anyone. And you protected people even then. You have a very fierce heart, I hope you realize. I can only imagine if we have a baby, you’ll be an absolute terror.”
I curled up tighter, my heart broken clear and through. I knew I should tell him, say the words, but I couldn’t. “Do we have to have babies, Rob?” I asked quiet.
He twisted a little, trying to look at me, but I kept my face away. “No, of course not, not if you don’t want to. You don’t want to?”
“I can’t even imagine it. I’m frightened every time I see babies in the town—that they’ll fall or cut themselves or fall sick or something. If it were mine I don’t think I’d let the thing move, much less grow up. I’d be scared every moment.”
He laughed, harder than my pride liked, and I hit him with my good hand. He groaned, but kept laughing. I twisted and hit him again, and he caught my shoulders and twisted me in the bed, falling on top of me, careful of my arm. I went still, and he shifted, lifting some of his weight off. He brushed my hair back. “You can’t tell me you don’t want to have a baby because you’d love it too much.”
I scowled. “I can. I don’t like being scared.”
He kissed my cheek, settling in beside me so we faced each other. “Let’s leave it up to God, then. If he wants us to have a child, he’ll let us know.”
I touched his face. “What will your first action as sheriff be?”
“Besides marrying my only love?” he asked. “Reorganizing taxes.”
“Not abolishing?”
“Taxes are necessary; they just don’t need to cripple a county,” he said. “Protecting the people doesn’t mean giving them what they think they want. It means doing what’s right for everyone, and not just for a few.”
I pushed him back a little to lay on his chest, keeping my injured hand high by his heart. I wondered if his heart could heal my hand the way I always imagined my hands could heal his skin. “Promise me,” I whispered to him. “Every night we’re married, we’ll talk just like this. About anything.”
“About everything,” he whispered back, putting two fingers light around my wrist. He kissed my hair, and I pressed my lips to his chest. “My heart. My only love.”
“I love you too, Robin.”
I shut my eyes. No matter what happened in the morning, if my marriage weren’t annulled, if Gisbourne hurt me, Rob would come for me. Rob would forsake his position as sheriff, his newfound freedom, even his life for me. And I couldn’t let him do it.
My head touched his and I thought, I love you, Robin. And I’ll fight for you.
I had hours left to think, and I had this heart, this man, and that made me stronger.
Gisbourne thought he knew what it were to not give up. He didn’t know the first thing.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I woke feeling warm and borderless, like my pulse had flooded the surface of the skin, dissolving it, meeting Rob’s and melting us together. Blankets were tucked round us, and his heart were beating beneath my ear, taking my heartbeat and echoing it back.
Blinking, I looked up at him. I hadn’t slept long; only when I thought of the beginnings of a plan and Rob were snoring quiet did I drift off in his arms. It weren’t yet full light out, but the sky were starting to glow and he were sleeping. Still. He’d fallen asleep before me and hadn’t woken. I’d have known if he’d woken.
“He had fire and temper too. I saw him lose at cards once and he beat the man—the bigger man—to a bloody mess because he cheated. It took a lot to get him angry, but Heaven help you if you did.” He shook his head. “He taught me so much about strength and power. That the man who is truly powerful has the option to forgive, to pardon, to forgo vengeance and violence. It’s the weak man that must prove himself through such.” He looked at me. “I always thought my father was weak. He was a very tolerant man, very forgiving and kind. I thought it meant people took advantage of him. Richard made me think very differently of my father. Then he died, and I never got the chance to tell him just how much I loved him and respected him. And honored what he taught me.”
I smiled at him, half for the softness of what he were saying, and half because I’d never heard him talk like this about war, and I loved it. Sliding my palm against his, he clasped mine gentle. “What are you smiling at?”
“My sheriff,” I said. “So did you want to marry at sunset to beat John to matrimony?” I asked.
He brightened. “I didn’t even think of that. Good! That’s justice.”
I laughed, and he pulled me against him. “He were so happy tonight.”
A kiss landed in my hair. “We all were. In the castle, no less. Hard to imagine.”
“It’s the beginning of everything,” I said, closing my eyes into the daydream, thinking of how it were meant to be. “I don’t have to be a noble anymore, and the shire can all be free and happy under a fair sheriff.”
“Well, you’re still a noble,” he corrected. “But you don’t have to dress like one, if you don’t wish.”
“Eleanor called me a princess,” I told him quiet. “She said it’s my duty not just to protect Nottingham, but all of England.”
“That’s because she wants you with her,” he said. “She’s very clever like that.”
“It doesn’t mean it’s a lie.”
“No. But it also doesn’t mean you have to do it. Or even that you can.”
I sighed. “I don’t want to be noble at all. I just want to be Scarlet.”
His breath was in my hair. “Even Scarlet was noble, she just didn’t tell anyone. And you protected people even then. You have a very fierce heart, I hope you realize. I can only imagine if we have a baby, you’ll be an absolute terror.”
I curled up tighter, my heart broken clear and through. I knew I should tell him, say the words, but I couldn’t. “Do we have to have babies, Rob?” I asked quiet.
He twisted a little, trying to look at me, but I kept my face away. “No, of course not, not if you don’t want to. You don’t want to?”
“I can’t even imagine it. I’m frightened every time I see babies in the town—that they’ll fall or cut themselves or fall sick or something. If it were mine I don’t think I’d let the thing move, much less grow up. I’d be scared every moment.”
He laughed, harder than my pride liked, and I hit him with my good hand. He groaned, but kept laughing. I twisted and hit him again, and he caught my shoulders and twisted me in the bed, falling on top of me, careful of my arm. I went still, and he shifted, lifting some of his weight off. He brushed my hair back. “You can’t tell me you don’t want to have a baby because you’d love it too much.”
I scowled. “I can. I don’t like being scared.”
He kissed my cheek, settling in beside me so we faced each other. “Let’s leave it up to God, then. If he wants us to have a child, he’ll let us know.”
I touched his face. “What will your first action as sheriff be?”
“Besides marrying my only love?” he asked. “Reorganizing taxes.”
“Not abolishing?”
“Taxes are necessary; they just don’t need to cripple a county,” he said. “Protecting the people doesn’t mean giving them what they think they want. It means doing what’s right for everyone, and not just for a few.”
I pushed him back a little to lay on his chest, keeping my injured hand high by his heart. I wondered if his heart could heal my hand the way I always imagined my hands could heal his skin. “Promise me,” I whispered to him. “Every night we’re married, we’ll talk just like this. About anything.”
“About everything,” he whispered back, putting two fingers light around my wrist. He kissed my hair, and I pressed my lips to his chest. “My heart. My only love.”
“I love you too, Robin.”
I shut my eyes. No matter what happened in the morning, if my marriage weren’t annulled, if Gisbourne hurt me, Rob would come for me. Rob would forsake his position as sheriff, his newfound freedom, even his life for me. And I couldn’t let him do it.
My head touched his and I thought, I love you, Robin. And I’ll fight for you.
I had hours left to think, and I had this heart, this man, and that made me stronger.
Gisbourne thought he knew what it were to not give up. He didn’t know the first thing.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I woke feeling warm and borderless, like my pulse had flooded the surface of the skin, dissolving it, meeting Rob’s and melting us together. Blankets were tucked round us, and his heart were beating beneath my ear, taking my heartbeat and echoing it back.
Blinking, I looked up at him. I hadn’t slept long; only when I thought of the beginnings of a plan and Rob were snoring quiet did I drift off in his arms. It weren’t yet full light out, but the sky were starting to glow and he were sleeping. Still. He’d fallen asleep before me and hadn’t woken. I’d have known if he’d woken.
