She wore a suit, as did the men. Brody had combed down his normally wild hair and Adrian looked stylish and handsome. Of course Ben and Todd were beyond handsome in their suits, but they wore cop like cologne and she took comfort in it.
The trip to the prison would take them east for about two hours, so she settled in for the drive. No one spoke much, but they all glared at her until she drank her juice and ate a muffin. Then they forked over the coffee and she held on to it like a lifeline, trying not to think of what she would be facing.
That fateful day she’d had everything one moment and nothing the next. She wanted the parole board to know that. She’d brought a folder with pictures in it.
She was lost in thought until Ben sat up straighter and she looked out the window to see the industrial hulk of the prison walls.
Detective Emery was there and, to her surprise, he hugged her. “I’m glad you’re here. Listen, chances are he won’t get parole today. I want to repeat that. But you being here makes a difference. I know it’s hard, and I’m glad you have your husband and your family with you.”
Jeremy came up with his parents and Emery said hello to them as well.
“Shall we?” Emery motioned and they moved through the gates into a holding area, where Erin’s bag was searched. She left her cell phone and most of her belongings behind before they moved through another set of fenced-off sidewalks to an outbuilding.
Her hands shook and nausea swamped her. She stumbled and Todd put an arm around her.
“Buck up. We’re here for you. You will make it through. Do this for Adele. Do it for yourself.” Todd kissed her cheek, and she nodded, numb.
“We’ll wait out here until they call us. There’s another hearing going on right now,” Emery explained. “This board is a good group. Due to the nature of what Cabot was convicted of, they’ll let you all speak. Erin should go first. Jeremy, you should sit with her and then speak right after. Then the uncles and grandparents. I’ll speak as well, and we have the psych report, which isn’t rosy.”
Erin nodded, in a daze, but clung to reality by her fingernails. She would do this, damn it.
The hallway smelled much like every other government building she’d ever been in. The scent settled in her nose and she knew when they got back to the hotel she’d need to shower for a long time to rid herself of it.
Finally they were called in and she stopped short when she caught sight of Charles Cabot sitting there in an ill-fitting suit. He hadn’t changed much since she saw him last, also in another ill-fitting suit on the last day of the trial.
His eyes lit up when he recognized her and Ben stepped into his line of sight without reacting otherwise.
“Hold on,” Jeremy said softly. “Don’t let him win. This is for her.”
She nodded, jerkily, and they sat. She barely heard the board speak, but she did listen attentively when Cabot spoke about his remorse and how he’d found his calling and wanted to help troubled youth.
Brody forcibly unclenched her fists and handed her a handkerchief because her palms were bleeding where she’d dug her nails into the flesh. He’d help youth? How about by not killing them?
She heard her name and Ben squeezed her shoulder and Todd kissed her cheek as she and Jeremy got up to sit at a table facing the parole board.
She thanked them for allowing her to speak and then she began to place the pictures of Adele on the table, from ultrasound to the picture taken in the morgue. Her hands shook, but she kept going.
“This is Adele and she was my baby. Charles Cabot stole a life, a future filled with possibilities. I won’t see her get on the bus to kindergarten. I won’t see her lose her first tooth. I won’t watch her graduate from high school and college. We won’t ever argue about curfew and how much lip gloss she can wear. I won’t see her marry and I’ll never hold her children. I gave birth to this person and she is not here now for one reason, and that’s Charles Cabot and his instability. His selfish lack of control cost my child her life and has made me look over my shoulder ever since.”
And then she did the thing she needed to do, for herself. She looked Charles Cabot in the face, holding his attention long enough to let him know she would not let his attempt to get around the system this way go unchallenged.
Her eyes broke away and she went on, just speaking from her heart and careful not to look at Cabot again. She’d made her point, to herself and to him, and to look again would only give him what he wanted.
Jeremy spoke, and Erin heard the catch in his voice as he talked about what Adele’s birth had been like for him. How he’d taught her to swim and how her first word had been no. He spoke of how the attack had not only nearly killed Erin and ended the possibilities of Adele’s future, but how it had torn their relationship apart and kept Erin off stage.
Detective Emery spoke, and then Brody and Adrian, followed by Jeremy’s parents. The pictures of Adele stayed on the table until they were all finished speaking and the board dismissed them while they deliberated.
“I’ve won,” she said quietly to Ben.
“What do you mean?” He held her hand.
“No matter what they decide, I did it. I walked in there and I stood up for Adele. I looked him in the eye and let him know I wouldn’t let this pass. If they parole him, I will fight it. If they don’t, I’ll be back when they hear this again.”
Todd heard it and knelt in front of her. “I’m so proud of you. You kicked butt in there.”
The trip to the prison would take them east for about two hours, so she settled in for the drive. No one spoke much, but they all glared at her until she drank her juice and ate a muffin. Then they forked over the coffee and she held on to it like a lifeline, trying not to think of what she would be facing.
That fateful day she’d had everything one moment and nothing the next. She wanted the parole board to know that. She’d brought a folder with pictures in it.
She was lost in thought until Ben sat up straighter and she looked out the window to see the industrial hulk of the prison walls.
Detective Emery was there and, to her surprise, he hugged her. “I’m glad you’re here. Listen, chances are he won’t get parole today. I want to repeat that. But you being here makes a difference. I know it’s hard, and I’m glad you have your husband and your family with you.”
Jeremy came up with his parents and Emery said hello to them as well.
“Shall we?” Emery motioned and they moved through the gates into a holding area, where Erin’s bag was searched. She left her cell phone and most of her belongings behind before they moved through another set of fenced-off sidewalks to an outbuilding.
Her hands shook and nausea swamped her. She stumbled and Todd put an arm around her.
“Buck up. We’re here for you. You will make it through. Do this for Adele. Do it for yourself.” Todd kissed her cheek, and she nodded, numb.
“We’ll wait out here until they call us. There’s another hearing going on right now,” Emery explained. “This board is a good group. Due to the nature of what Cabot was convicted of, they’ll let you all speak. Erin should go first. Jeremy, you should sit with her and then speak right after. Then the uncles and grandparents. I’ll speak as well, and we have the psych report, which isn’t rosy.”
Erin nodded, in a daze, but clung to reality by her fingernails. She would do this, damn it.
The hallway smelled much like every other government building she’d ever been in. The scent settled in her nose and she knew when they got back to the hotel she’d need to shower for a long time to rid herself of it.
Finally they were called in and she stopped short when she caught sight of Charles Cabot sitting there in an ill-fitting suit. He hadn’t changed much since she saw him last, also in another ill-fitting suit on the last day of the trial.
His eyes lit up when he recognized her and Ben stepped into his line of sight without reacting otherwise.
“Hold on,” Jeremy said softly. “Don’t let him win. This is for her.”
She nodded, jerkily, and they sat. She barely heard the board speak, but she did listen attentively when Cabot spoke about his remorse and how he’d found his calling and wanted to help troubled youth.
Brody forcibly unclenched her fists and handed her a handkerchief because her palms were bleeding where she’d dug her nails into the flesh. He’d help youth? How about by not killing them?
She heard her name and Ben squeezed her shoulder and Todd kissed her cheek as she and Jeremy got up to sit at a table facing the parole board.
She thanked them for allowing her to speak and then she began to place the pictures of Adele on the table, from ultrasound to the picture taken in the morgue. Her hands shook, but she kept going.
“This is Adele and she was my baby. Charles Cabot stole a life, a future filled with possibilities. I won’t see her get on the bus to kindergarten. I won’t see her lose her first tooth. I won’t watch her graduate from high school and college. We won’t ever argue about curfew and how much lip gloss she can wear. I won’t see her marry and I’ll never hold her children. I gave birth to this person and she is not here now for one reason, and that’s Charles Cabot and his instability. His selfish lack of control cost my child her life and has made me look over my shoulder ever since.”
And then she did the thing she needed to do, for herself. She looked Charles Cabot in the face, holding his attention long enough to let him know she would not let his attempt to get around the system this way go unchallenged.
Her eyes broke away and she went on, just speaking from her heart and careful not to look at Cabot again. She’d made her point, to herself and to him, and to look again would only give him what he wanted.
Jeremy spoke, and Erin heard the catch in his voice as he talked about what Adele’s birth had been like for him. How he’d taught her to swim and how her first word had been no. He spoke of how the attack had not only nearly killed Erin and ended the possibilities of Adele’s future, but how it had torn their relationship apart and kept Erin off stage.
Detective Emery spoke, and then Brody and Adrian, followed by Jeremy’s parents. The pictures of Adele stayed on the table until they were all finished speaking and the board dismissed them while they deliberated.
“I’ve won,” she said quietly to Ben.
“What do you mean?” He held her hand.
“No matter what they decide, I did it. I walked in there and I stood up for Adele. I looked him in the eye and let him know I wouldn’t let this pass. If they parole him, I will fight it. If they don’t, I’ll be back when they hear this again.”
Todd heard it and knelt in front of her. “I’m so proud of you. You kicked butt in there.”
