“So they ran away, they’re at the Stop ‘n’ Go and they called you,” Mitch deduced.
“Yep.”
“Where’s their Mom?”
“Moms, plural and they’re both long gone.”
Mitch had no reply to that.
I decided since he’d been pretty angry and I wasn’t certain if he was still angry but I was guessing he was that I would share a little more. Maybe being forthcoming would shear the edge of his anger.
“They have no family in Denver and Bill is my only family here so I’m their only family here. That’s why they call me.”
“That isn’t why they call you,” Mitch returned immediately and I turned my head to look at him.
“Pardon?” I asked.
“That isn’t why they call you,” Mitch repeated.
“I heard what you said,” I told him. “I just don’t know what you mean.”
“I mean, you’re a brother and sister with two different Moms, both who took off, a Dad that’s such a mess at nine years old you’re runnin’ away and your Dad’s cousin is a woman whose smile lights up her whole face and her laugh ignites a room, you want that in your life. So you run away and call her in hopes that she’s gonna give you that light and warmth to fill your life.”
I stared at his profile as he drove and I felt my heart beating in my throat but my stomach had clenched so hard I found I couldn’t breathe.
I didn’t recall ever smiling at him, not a real, unabashed smile and I definitely never laughed around him.
“I’ve never laughed around you,” I blurted stupidly.
He glanced at me then back at the road before saying, “Sweetheart, you’re with Brent and Bradon or LaTanya and Derek, I can hear it through the walls.”
Ohmigod!
“So you’re saying I have a loud laugh,” I noted.
“No,” he said with what sounded like extreme patience. “What I’m sayin’ is you have a gorgeous laugh. I’ve heard it. I like it.”
Ohmigod!
That couldn’t true. He was just being nice and since I couldn’t deal with him being nice…er we needed to move on.
“My smile doesn’t light up my whole face. It’s wonky,” I informed him.
“It isn’t wonky.”
“It is.”
“Mara, it isn’t. You don’t smile at me like you mean it because you’re always too freaked out to let yourself go. But I’ve seen you at Derek and LaTanya’s smiling like you mean it. I’ll take your smiles even when you don’t let yourself go because they work really f**kin’ well. But I’ll tell you, when you let yourself go, they’re f**kin’ fantastic.”
I forced my eyes to look ahead and I forced my brain to find an explanation for this madness.
“You’re just being nice,” I whispered.
“I’m a nice guy,” he agreed. “But I’m not bein’ nice. I’m bein’ real. And now what I’d like to know is why every time I give you a compliment, you freak out and twist it into something bad.”
“I don’t do that,” I denied.
“I told you, you had good taste in music and you immediately jumped to the conclusion that it annoyed me because you played it too loud. How do you go from someone saying you have good taste in music to it being a complaint about you playin’ it too loud?”
I had to admit that sounded absurd.
“Um…” I mumbled.
“Same with your laugh. I say I like it, you take it as me sayin’ it’s too loud.”
He needed to quit talking.
“You need to quit talking,” I blurted and wished I could clap my hands over my mouth because I sounded like a fool.
I should have lied to him earlier. I should have kicked him in the shin and run away. I shouldn’t be in his SUV with him. I shouldn’t be anywhere near him.
“Yeah,” he muttered, “I bet you need that.”
My head jerked to face him. “What does that mean?”
He didn’t answer. Instead he asked, “Why’d you stand me up on Sunday?”
Uh-oh.
“I didn’t stand you up.”
He glanced at me again and I felt his anger, which had dissipated, start to fill the cab again.
He looked back to the road and said, “Mara, we had plans. Pizza at seven thirty.”
I looked back to the road too and said, “I don’t really want to talk about this.”
“Yeah, I bet you need that too.”
I ignored what he said and told him, “I need to focus on what I’m going to do with Billy and Billie and what I’m going to say to Bill.”
“Yeah, I know, you need that too. You need to focus on anything other than what’s goin’ on with you.”
I fought back the urge to clamp my hands over my ears and chant “la la la” and decided to stay silent.
“Why’d you stand me up?” he repeated into the void.
“I didn’t. You said you were coming over but I didn’t agree.”
“You stood me up.”
“I didn’t.”
“Mara you did and you did it, essentially, twice.”
My head jerked to face him again and I snapped, “No, I didn’t!”
He shook his head and muttered, “Jesus, you got your head so far up your ass it’s a wonder you can breathe.”
“Pardon?” I hissed.
“You heard me.”
“Yes,” I bit out. “I did and what you said was not very nice.”
“No, baby, it wasn’t but it was the f**kin’ truth.”
Was I sitting in Detective Mitch Lawson’s SUV fighting with him? Two Point Fives didn’t fight with Ten Point Fives. It was against all the laws of the universe. How did this happen?
“I don’t have my head up my ass!” I snapped somewhat loudly.
“You live in a whole different world,” he retorted.
“Do not!”
“Oh yeah, sweetheart, you do.”
I crossed my arms on my chest, looked forward and announced, “Well I’m glad to know you can be a jerk. It’s easier to deal with a hot guy who’s a jerk than it is to deal with one who’s unnaturally nice.”
Of course I sounded like a fool but I didn’t care. I always sounded like a fool and anyway, he’d told me I had my head up my ass. What did I care that he thought I was a fool?
“Finally, I’m getting somewhere,” Mitch returned. “All I gotta do is be a dick to you, you let go and a little of that Mara Light shines through. What now, Mara? I keep bein’ a dick to you, you let me get my hands down your pants and the only way I can keep that privilege is continue to treat you like shit? Then eventually you’ll kick me to the curb and it’s a self-fulfilling prophesy that all men are dicks? Is that how it goes so you can retreat into that cocoon you’ve built around you and rest safe in the knowledge that you’re makin’ all the right moves?”
“Yep.”
“Where’s their Mom?”
“Moms, plural and they’re both long gone.”
Mitch had no reply to that.
I decided since he’d been pretty angry and I wasn’t certain if he was still angry but I was guessing he was that I would share a little more. Maybe being forthcoming would shear the edge of his anger.
“They have no family in Denver and Bill is my only family here so I’m their only family here. That’s why they call me.”
“That isn’t why they call you,” Mitch returned immediately and I turned my head to look at him.
“Pardon?” I asked.
“That isn’t why they call you,” Mitch repeated.
“I heard what you said,” I told him. “I just don’t know what you mean.”
“I mean, you’re a brother and sister with two different Moms, both who took off, a Dad that’s such a mess at nine years old you’re runnin’ away and your Dad’s cousin is a woman whose smile lights up her whole face and her laugh ignites a room, you want that in your life. So you run away and call her in hopes that she’s gonna give you that light and warmth to fill your life.”
I stared at his profile as he drove and I felt my heart beating in my throat but my stomach had clenched so hard I found I couldn’t breathe.
I didn’t recall ever smiling at him, not a real, unabashed smile and I definitely never laughed around him.
“I’ve never laughed around you,” I blurted stupidly.
He glanced at me then back at the road before saying, “Sweetheart, you’re with Brent and Bradon or LaTanya and Derek, I can hear it through the walls.”
Ohmigod!
“So you’re saying I have a loud laugh,” I noted.
“No,” he said with what sounded like extreme patience. “What I’m sayin’ is you have a gorgeous laugh. I’ve heard it. I like it.”
Ohmigod!
That couldn’t true. He was just being nice and since I couldn’t deal with him being nice…er we needed to move on.
“My smile doesn’t light up my whole face. It’s wonky,” I informed him.
“It isn’t wonky.”
“It is.”
“Mara, it isn’t. You don’t smile at me like you mean it because you’re always too freaked out to let yourself go. But I’ve seen you at Derek and LaTanya’s smiling like you mean it. I’ll take your smiles even when you don’t let yourself go because they work really f**kin’ well. But I’ll tell you, when you let yourself go, they’re f**kin’ fantastic.”
I forced my eyes to look ahead and I forced my brain to find an explanation for this madness.
“You’re just being nice,” I whispered.
“I’m a nice guy,” he agreed. “But I’m not bein’ nice. I’m bein’ real. And now what I’d like to know is why every time I give you a compliment, you freak out and twist it into something bad.”
“I don’t do that,” I denied.
“I told you, you had good taste in music and you immediately jumped to the conclusion that it annoyed me because you played it too loud. How do you go from someone saying you have good taste in music to it being a complaint about you playin’ it too loud?”
I had to admit that sounded absurd.
“Um…” I mumbled.
“Same with your laugh. I say I like it, you take it as me sayin’ it’s too loud.”
He needed to quit talking.
“You need to quit talking,” I blurted and wished I could clap my hands over my mouth because I sounded like a fool.
I should have lied to him earlier. I should have kicked him in the shin and run away. I shouldn’t be in his SUV with him. I shouldn’t be anywhere near him.
“Yeah,” he muttered, “I bet you need that.”
My head jerked to face him. “What does that mean?”
He didn’t answer. Instead he asked, “Why’d you stand me up on Sunday?”
Uh-oh.
“I didn’t stand you up.”
He glanced at me again and I felt his anger, which had dissipated, start to fill the cab again.
He looked back to the road and said, “Mara, we had plans. Pizza at seven thirty.”
I looked back to the road too and said, “I don’t really want to talk about this.”
“Yeah, I bet you need that too.”
I ignored what he said and told him, “I need to focus on what I’m going to do with Billy and Billie and what I’m going to say to Bill.”
“Yeah, I know, you need that too. You need to focus on anything other than what’s goin’ on with you.”
I fought back the urge to clamp my hands over my ears and chant “la la la” and decided to stay silent.
“Why’d you stand me up?” he repeated into the void.
“I didn’t. You said you were coming over but I didn’t agree.”
“You stood me up.”
“I didn’t.”
“Mara you did and you did it, essentially, twice.”
My head jerked to face him again and I snapped, “No, I didn’t!”
He shook his head and muttered, “Jesus, you got your head so far up your ass it’s a wonder you can breathe.”
“Pardon?” I hissed.
“You heard me.”
“Yes,” I bit out. “I did and what you said was not very nice.”
“No, baby, it wasn’t but it was the f**kin’ truth.”
Was I sitting in Detective Mitch Lawson’s SUV fighting with him? Two Point Fives didn’t fight with Ten Point Fives. It was against all the laws of the universe. How did this happen?
“I don’t have my head up my ass!” I snapped somewhat loudly.
“You live in a whole different world,” he retorted.
“Do not!”
“Oh yeah, sweetheart, you do.”
I crossed my arms on my chest, looked forward and announced, “Well I’m glad to know you can be a jerk. It’s easier to deal with a hot guy who’s a jerk than it is to deal with one who’s unnaturally nice.”
Of course I sounded like a fool but I didn’t care. I always sounded like a fool and anyway, he’d told me I had my head up my ass. What did I care that he thought I was a fool?
“Finally, I’m getting somewhere,” Mitch returned. “All I gotta do is be a dick to you, you let go and a little of that Mara Light shines through. What now, Mara? I keep bein’ a dick to you, you let me get my hands down your pants and the only way I can keep that privilege is continue to treat you like shit? Then eventually you’ll kick me to the curb and it’s a self-fulfilling prophesy that all men are dicks? Is that how it goes so you can retreat into that cocoon you’ve built around you and rest safe in the knowledge that you’re makin’ all the right moves?”
