He’d done a lot of things with his mouth when I was on my back in his couch and he was right, all of it was the best I ever had. All of it.
“Please, I need to say something,” I begged softly.
His arms gave me a squeeze, his fingers twisted in my hair, his face dipped super close to mine and he said, “No you don’t, Mara. Unless it’s to tell me you want, just as bad as me, to find out where all we’ve shared could lead. Anything else outta your mouth, right now, I do not want to hear.”
“It’s important,” I told him quietly.
“It’s gonna be f**ked up.”
I stared at him and returned, “No, it’s not.”
“I been gone for half an hour and so have the kids. In that time, you’ve been alone and thinkin’ about tonight. This means you’ve had time with nothing to distract you to start to panic about tonight. And this means you’ve had time to insert your head right back up your ass and I’m tellin’ you, Mara, I been waitin’ four years for tonight so I’m not lettin’ you f**k this shit up.”
Another direct hit, right on target. Bulls-eye. All my battle stations were crumbling to dust.
“You’ve been waiting four years for tonight?” I asked in a voice that was foreign to my own ears and I knew why. It stupid, stupid, stupidly held hope.
“Baby, I told you that the other night,” he reminded me.
“But –” I started but he cut me off.
“I moved in, you had a man,” he told me a fact I knew and I knew he knew and went on. “He was an ass**le and I knew this then because most of the time I saw you goin’ to him and not him comin’ to you. A man’s got a woman like you, he doesn’t make her come to him; he goes to her. I knew this after he was gone because the ass**le was gone and only an ass**le lets go of a good thing.”
Ohmigod! Another direct hit.
He had to stop talking. I had to make him stop talking.
“Mitch –”
“Oh no, Mara, you wanna talk, we’re talkin’. We’re gettin’ this shit outta the way and we’re doin’ it fast so we don’t lose our reservation.”
I stared up at him and then glared up at him. “Yes, I want to talk but you’re the one who’s doing all the talking.”
“That’s because I can see from your face I don’t give a shit what you have to say.”
My glare heated up and I asked, “Did you just say that?”
“Yep,” he replied without hesitation.
“What I have to say is just as important as what you have to say,” I informed him.
“No, what you have to say will be f**ked up and twisted and I’m not gonna stand here listenin’ to you f**k up and twist what has been a really good f**kin’ week, Billie freaking out and hurling notwithstanding. And I’m not gonna stand here listening to it because we’ve had a really good week because somehow I managed to pull your head outta your ass so we could have that good week and because right now you look f**king unbelievable. I’m hungry and I wanna eat. And I wanna do it sittin’ across a table from you looking like you do right now. Then I wanna bring you home, figure out how to get you out of that sexy-as-hell top and see if I can get you to let you go enough so you’ll let me f**k you in those even sexier f**kin’ shoes.”
I glared at him even though his words seared through me like wildfire.
Then I declared, “This is insane.”
“I’d ask why you think that except I don’t care,” he shot back.
“I think that because it’s insane!” I snapped.
“Jesus, Mara,” he gritted.
I got down to it. “People like you don’t spend time with, go out with or have sex with people like me.”
As the words came out of my mouth, his face went hard.
Then when I was done, he sucked in breath and his head tipped back so all I could see was the column of his throat and the underside of his strong jaw before he muttered to the ceiling, “Jesus, f**k, she’s back there again.” Then before I could say a word, his chin dipped down, his glittering, dark eyes came to mine and his arms gave me a firm squeeze when he replied, “Baby, I’d probably find whatever twisted, f**ked up reason you spewed that shit interesting if I was gonna listen to whatever twisted, f**ked up reason you spewed that shit which I’m not gonna do. And I’m not gonna do it because I’ve already listened to you spewing that twisted, f**ked up shit. I didn’t agree with you then. I don’t agree with you now. But now, I got the last week to prove that I’m right and you are f**kin’ wrong.”
“Mitch!” I yelled. “This is not going to work.”
“It’s been workin’ for a week,” he pointed out.
“That’s because I’ve been living in a dream world,” I returned and his brows shot together.
“What the f**k?” he whispered.
“This isn’t the real world, Mitch,” I informed him.
“It is, Mara,” he informed me.
“It isn’t going to work!” I cried, getting desperate.
His eyes moved over my face and he studied me a moment before he noted softly, “I see, you’ve wrapped yourself in your cocoon and you’re not lettin’ go.”
“No,” I totally lied. “I just know it isn’t going to work.”
“How can you know that when you haven’t let go long enough to try and make it work for longer than a f**kin’ week?”
“I already told you how. People like you don’t spend time with people like me!” I fired back.
“Yeah, Mara, and I already explained this shit to you. I don’t care that your cousin is an assclown, your Mom and aunt are nightmares and don’t mind lettin’ everyone know it and you’ve got a juvie record.” Mitch returned and my body turned to stone.
Ohmigod.
Ohmigod.
“What?” I whispered.
I vaguely watched Mitch’s angry, frustrated features turn alert and his arms tightened around me.
“Mara –” he started.
“You know about my juvenile file?” I was still whispering.
Mitch’s arms got even tighter as his face got more alert.
Then he answered quietly, “I got a friend who’s got a friend who did him a favor, unsealed your record and I know you and your cousin Bill used to be partners in crime.”
My stomach plunged and I tried to pull out of his arms but they got even tighter.
“Please, I need to say something,” I begged softly.
His arms gave me a squeeze, his fingers twisted in my hair, his face dipped super close to mine and he said, “No you don’t, Mara. Unless it’s to tell me you want, just as bad as me, to find out where all we’ve shared could lead. Anything else outta your mouth, right now, I do not want to hear.”
“It’s important,” I told him quietly.
“It’s gonna be f**ked up.”
I stared at him and returned, “No, it’s not.”
“I been gone for half an hour and so have the kids. In that time, you’ve been alone and thinkin’ about tonight. This means you’ve had time with nothing to distract you to start to panic about tonight. And this means you’ve had time to insert your head right back up your ass and I’m tellin’ you, Mara, I been waitin’ four years for tonight so I’m not lettin’ you f**k this shit up.”
Another direct hit, right on target. Bulls-eye. All my battle stations were crumbling to dust.
“You’ve been waiting four years for tonight?” I asked in a voice that was foreign to my own ears and I knew why. It stupid, stupid, stupidly held hope.
“Baby, I told you that the other night,” he reminded me.
“But –” I started but he cut me off.
“I moved in, you had a man,” he told me a fact I knew and I knew he knew and went on. “He was an ass**le and I knew this then because most of the time I saw you goin’ to him and not him comin’ to you. A man’s got a woman like you, he doesn’t make her come to him; he goes to her. I knew this after he was gone because the ass**le was gone and only an ass**le lets go of a good thing.”
Ohmigod! Another direct hit.
He had to stop talking. I had to make him stop talking.
“Mitch –”
“Oh no, Mara, you wanna talk, we’re talkin’. We’re gettin’ this shit outta the way and we’re doin’ it fast so we don’t lose our reservation.”
I stared up at him and then glared up at him. “Yes, I want to talk but you’re the one who’s doing all the talking.”
“That’s because I can see from your face I don’t give a shit what you have to say.”
My glare heated up and I asked, “Did you just say that?”
“Yep,” he replied without hesitation.
“What I have to say is just as important as what you have to say,” I informed him.
“No, what you have to say will be f**ked up and twisted and I’m not gonna stand here listenin’ to you f**k up and twist what has been a really good f**kin’ week, Billie freaking out and hurling notwithstanding. And I’m not gonna stand here listening to it because we’ve had a really good week because somehow I managed to pull your head outta your ass so we could have that good week and because right now you look f**king unbelievable. I’m hungry and I wanna eat. And I wanna do it sittin’ across a table from you looking like you do right now. Then I wanna bring you home, figure out how to get you out of that sexy-as-hell top and see if I can get you to let you go enough so you’ll let me f**k you in those even sexier f**kin’ shoes.”
I glared at him even though his words seared through me like wildfire.
Then I declared, “This is insane.”
“I’d ask why you think that except I don’t care,” he shot back.
“I think that because it’s insane!” I snapped.
“Jesus, Mara,” he gritted.
I got down to it. “People like you don’t spend time with, go out with or have sex with people like me.”
As the words came out of my mouth, his face went hard.
Then when I was done, he sucked in breath and his head tipped back so all I could see was the column of his throat and the underside of his strong jaw before he muttered to the ceiling, “Jesus, f**k, she’s back there again.” Then before I could say a word, his chin dipped down, his glittering, dark eyes came to mine and his arms gave me a firm squeeze when he replied, “Baby, I’d probably find whatever twisted, f**ked up reason you spewed that shit interesting if I was gonna listen to whatever twisted, f**ked up reason you spewed that shit which I’m not gonna do. And I’m not gonna do it because I’ve already listened to you spewing that twisted, f**ked up shit. I didn’t agree with you then. I don’t agree with you now. But now, I got the last week to prove that I’m right and you are f**kin’ wrong.”
“Mitch!” I yelled. “This is not going to work.”
“It’s been workin’ for a week,” he pointed out.
“That’s because I’ve been living in a dream world,” I returned and his brows shot together.
“What the f**k?” he whispered.
“This isn’t the real world, Mitch,” I informed him.
“It is, Mara,” he informed me.
“It isn’t going to work!” I cried, getting desperate.
His eyes moved over my face and he studied me a moment before he noted softly, “I see, you’ve wrapped yourself in your cocoon and you’re not lettin’ go.”
“No,” I totally lied. “I just know it isn’t going to work.”
“How can you know that when you haven’t let go long enough to try and make it work for longer than a f**kin’ week?”
“I already told you how. People like you don’t spend time with people like me!” I fired back.
“Yeah, Mara, and I already explained this shit to you. I don’t care that your cousin is an assclown, your Mom and aunt are nightmares and don’t mind lettin’ everyone know it and you’ve got a juvie record.” Mitch returned and my body turned to stone.
Ohmigod.
Ohmigod.
“What?” I whispered.
I vaguely watched Mitch’s angry, frustrated features turn alert and his arms tightened around me.
“Mara –” he started.
“You know about my juvenile file?” I was still whispering.
Mitch’s arms got even tighter as his face got more alert.
Then he answered quietly, “I got a friend who’s got a friend who did him a favor, unsealed your record and I know you and your cousin Bill used to be partners in crime.”
My stomach plunged and I tried to pull out of his arms but they got even tighter.
