“I think so,” Billy replied quietly and I gave his hand another squeeze.
Mitch continued.
“Okay, you’re with me on that, I’ll explain this. You’ve got my love, so do Billie and Mara. Billie loves all of us. Mara loves all of us and, my guess is, you do too. We have that so that makes us a family.”
I felt tears sting my eyes as I watched Billy swallow and wet shimmer in his.
Mitch wasn’t done.
“Life goes like I hope, you’ll be dancin’ with Mara at your wedding and your sister will be dancing with me at hers.”
Oh my God!
My hand spasmed in Billy’s and his curled tight around mine.
Mitch kept talking.
“Between then and now, not every day is going to be like today where we’re happy, doin’ fun stuff and laughin’. We’re gonna have bad times. But those will be ours and we’ll work through them. My job, Mara’s job from now until you become a man is to make sure no one outside this family gives you or your sister a bad time. Mara took on that role and let me be a part of that team. We both take that seriously. Those women you saw, Bud, we’ve dealt with them. That’s done. Nothing will harm you. Not again. Not like that. Nothing. Mara will see to it. I’ll see to it.” He leaned in close and his voice dropped. “You been the man of the family awhile, Bud, but it’s your time to stop worrying. I told you earlier I got this. I had it. So did Mara. It’s done. Whatever you got in your head, you let it go. It is not you and Billie against the world anymore. You’ve got people at your back. You need to let that weight go, buddy. In a family, we all look out for each other. It is not up to you alone to take care of everybody. You need to let that weight go, give some to me, give some to Mara and just be Bud.”
Billy studied Mitch for a long moment then he asked in a small voice, “Is that woman gonna take Billie away?”
“No,” Mitch and I both answered instantly and Billy looked between both of us.
Then he looked at me. “Are you gonna get custody of us, like, permanent?”
“Yes,” I again answered instantly.
“Tomorrow, Mara and I’ll be talkin’ to a lawyer,” Mitch put in, this was news to me, good news and Billy and I looked at him. “We’ll be working at making Mara your legal, permanent guardian and when the time comes, we’ll add me.”
I pressed my lips together.
Billy wasn’t ready to believe.
“Stuff happens, Mitch, bad stuff. And Billie –”
Mitch cut him off, “You don’t worry about it. You let Mara and me worry about it.”
“But, what if you two break up?”
I held my breath.
Mitch leaned deeper into Billy and whispered, “Look at me.”
“I am lookin’ at you, Mitch,” Billy whispered back.
“No, Bud, really look at me,” Mitch ordered on another whisper.
I let out my breath and took in another one.
Billy concentrated hard on Mitch’s face.
Mitch spoke.
“All my life, since I could remember, I wanted to be a cop. That’s all I ever wanted to be. Watched the shows on TV, all the movies. I wanted that to be me. So I made that me. I love my job. I’m proud of what I do. And since I knew about girls and knew I’d someday have one of my own, I knew the kind I wanted. Just like knowin’ I wanted to be a cop, I knew the kind of woman I wanted for me. So I found that woman and she’s sittin’ on this couch.”
My heart skipped, I let out my breath and closed my eyes.
God, that felt good.
No, that felt great.
I opened my eyes as Mitch kept going.
“And I grew up in a close family and I always knew I wanted one of those too. So, I cannot promise you life is gonna run perfect. I cannot tell the future. What I can say is, what we have when you and me are tossin’ a ball or mannin’ the grill or sittin’ at the table doin’ your homework, that means something to me. It’s important to me. And when something’s important, you take care of it. I have times like that with your sister and Mara. Those times mean something to me. They’re important and I’ll promise you this right now, I’ll do everything in my power to take care of it, all of it, all of you. I can’t tell the future but I can promise you that. Now, do you trust me?”
Billy’s hand clenched mine as he whispered, “I trust you, Mitch,” and I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
Mitch didn’t miss a beat. “Good,” he muttered. “So, Mara appreciates it when you run the vacuum and we’ll expect you to do your chores and get good grades but you gotta stop knockin’ yourself out to make life smooth for everybody. From now on, you just be Bud. Let life be what it’s gonna be and trust in the fact that we’ll face whatever’s comin’ as a family. Can you do that for Mara and me?”
“Yes,” Billy whispered as his hand held mine harder and another tear fell down my cheek.
“Good,” Mitch muttered again then he lifted a hand, curled it around Billy’s neck and he pulled him even closer to his face. And when he got him close, his face changed in a way I understood immediately and I prayed Billy, who didn’t miss anything, understood it too.
But he didn’t have to.
Because Mitch laid it out.
“I love you, Bud,” he whispered to Billy and two more tears escaped.
“I love you too, Mitch,” Billy whispered back, my breath hitched and both males’ eyes came to me.
I waved my wineglass at them and murmured, “Don’t mind me. Have your moment.”
Mitch leaned back, letting Billy go and grinning at me. “Men don’t have moments.”
“You do,” I returned. “I’m witnessing one.”
“This isn’t a moment, honey, it’s a meeting of the minds,” Mitch contradicted me.
“It’s a moment, Mitch,” I contradicted him.
Mitch transferred his grin to Billy and asked, “Are we having a moment?”
Billy stared up at Mitch then he looked at me.
Then he answered, “Nope.”
Billy didn’t even know what a moment was. He was just agreeing with Mitch because Mitch was a guy and I was a girl who was crying.
I rolled my eyes, gave his hand another squeeze, let it go and then swiped at the wet on my face, muttering, “Whatever.”
When I quit swiping, I looked back at my boys to see them sharing a smile.
Witnessing that, it took some effort but only one more tear escaped rather than me bursting into thousands of them and I succeeded in this endeavor by doing what any girl would do to succeed in this endeavor. I sucked back more wine.
Mitch continued.
“Okay, you’re with me on that, I’ll explain this. You’ve got my love, so do Billie and Mara. Billie loves all of us. Mara loves all of us and, my guess is, you do too. We have that so that makes us a family.”
I felt tears sting my eyes as I watched Billy swallow and wet shimmer in his.
Mitch wasn’t done.
“Life goes like I hope, you’ll be dancin’ with Mara at your wedding and your sister will be dancing with me at hers.”
Oh my God!
My hand spasmed in Billy’s and his curled tight around mine.
Mitch kept talking.
“Between then and now, not every day is going to be like today where we’re happy, doin’ fun stuff and laughin’. We’re gonna have bad times. But those will be ours and we’ll work through them. My job, Mara’s job from now until you become a man is to make sure no one outside this family gives you or your sister a bad time. Mara took on that role and let me be a part of that team. We both take that seriously. Those women you saw, Bud, we’ve dealt with them. That’s done. Nothing will harm you. Not again. Not like that. Nothing. Mara will see to it. I’ll see to it.” He leaned in close and his voice dropped. “You been the man of the family awhile, Bud, but it’s your time to stop worrying. I told you earlier I got this. I had it. So did Mara. It’s done. Whatever you got in your head, you let it go. It is not you and Billie against the world anymore. You’ve got people at your back. You need to let that weight go, buddy. In a family, we all look out for each other. It is not up to you alone to take care of everybody. You need to let that weight go, give some to me, give some to Mara and just be Bud.”
Billy studied Mitch for a long moment then he asked in a small voice, “Is that woman gonna take Billie away?”
“No,” Mitch and I both answered instantly and Billy looked between both of us.
Then he looked at me. “Are you gonna get custody of us, like, permanent?”
“Yes,” I again answered instantly.
“Tomorrow, Mara and I’ll be talkin’ to a lawyer,” Mitch put in, this was news to me, good news and Billy and I looked at him. “We’ll be working at making Mara your legal, permanent guardian and when the time comes, we’ll add me.”
I pressed my lips together.
Billy wasn’t ready to believe.
“Stuff happens, Mitch, bad stuff. And Billie –”
Mitch cut him off, “You don’t worry about it. You let Mara and me worry about it.”
“But, what if you two break up?”
I held my breath.
Mitch leaned deeper into Billy and whispered, “Look at me.”
“I am lookin’ at you, Mitch,” Billy whispered back.
“No, Bud, really look at me,” Mitch ordered on another whisper.
I let out my breath and took in another one.
Billy concentrated hard on Mitch’s face.
Mitch spoke.
“All my life, since I could remember, I wanted to be a cop. That’s all I ever wanted to be. Watched the shows on TV, all the movies. I wanted that to be me. So I made that me. I love my job. I’m proud of what I do. And since I knew about girls and knew I’d someday have one of my own, I knew the kind I wanted. Just like knowin’ I wanted to be a cop, I knew the kind of woman I wanted for me. So I found that woman and she’s sittin’ on this couch.”
My heart skipped, I let out my breath and closed my eyes.
God, that felt good.
No, that felt great.
I opened my eyes as Mitch kept going.
“And I grew up in a close family and I always knew I wanted one of those too. So, I cannot promise you life is gonna run perfect. I cannot tell the future. What I can say is, what we have when you and me are tossin’ a ball or mannin’ the grill or sittin’ at the table doin’ your homework, that means something to me. It’s important to me. And when something’s important, you take care of it. I have times like that with your sister and Mara. Those times mean something to me. They’re important and I’ll promise you this right now, I’ll do everything in my power to take care of it, all of it, all of you. I can’t tell the future but I can promise you that. Now, do you trust me?”
Billy’s hand clenched mine as he whispered, “I trust you, Mitch,” and I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
Mitch didn’t miss a beat. “Good,” he muttered. “So, Mara appreciates it when you run the vacuum and we’ll expect you to do your chores and get good grades but you gotta stop knockin’ yourself out to make life smooth for everybody. From now on, you just be Bud. Let life be what it’s gonna be and trust in the fact that we’ll face whatever’s comin’ as a family. Can you do that for Mara and me?”
“Yes,” Billy whispered as his hand held mine harder and another tear fell down my cheek.
“Good,” Mitch muttered again then he lifted a hand, curled it around Billy’s neck and he pulled him even closer to his face. And when he got him close, his face changed in a way I understood immediately and I prayed Billy, who didn’t miss anything, understood it too.
But he didn’t have to.
Because Mitch laid it out.
“I love you, Bud,” he whispered to Billy and two more tears escaped.
“I love you too, Mitch,” Billy whispered back, my breath hitched and both males’ eyes came to me.
I waved my wineglass at them and murmured, “Don’t mind me. Have your moment.”
Mitch leaned back, letting Billy go and grinning at me. “Men don’t have moments.”
“You do,” I returned. “I’m witnessing one.”
“This isn’t a moment, honey, it’s a meeting of the minds,” Mitch contradicted me.
“It’s a moment, Mitch,” I contradicted him.
Mitch transferred his grin to Billy and asked, “Are we having a moment?”
Billy stared up at Mitch then he looked at me.
Then he answered, “Nope.”
Billy didn’t even know what a moment was. He was just agreeing with Mitch because Mitch was a guy and I was a girl who was crying.
I rolled my eyes, gave his hand another squeeze, let it go and then swiped at the wet on my face, muttering, “Whatever.”
When I quit swiping, I looked back at my boys to see them sharing a smile.
Witnessing that, it took some effort but only one more tear escaped rather than me bursting into thousands of them and I succeeded in this endeavor by doing what any girl would do to succeed in this endeavor. I sucked back more wine.
