Leah on the Offbeat
Page 23

 Becky Albertalli

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“I don’t know,” Taylor says.
“I could text him,” Garrett adds.
Taylor sighs. “We’ve been texting him all morning, and we’ve called. He’s not answering. It’s just so weird.”
“He’s fine. I’m sure he’ll text us later,” Garrett says. “Burke, why don’t we grab some lunch?”
“Let’s just wait another few minutes,” Taylor begins, but then her voice falls away. Because, suddenly, Nick’s car is in the driveway, the garage door rumbling open. Taylor’s whole face lights up. But he doesn’t drive in or get out or anything. He just sits there, frozen, like he’s in a trance.
So I stand. “I’ll go talk to him.”
I jog over to his car. It’s like he doesn’t even see me approach. I knock on the window, and he slowly rolls it down. “Hey,” he says dully. His eyes are red-rimmed and wet.
“Holy shit. Are you okay?”
He shrugs, staring straight ahead.
“Nick?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Okay, I’m slightly freaked out. Maybe a little more than slightly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Nick like this. I mean, I’ve definitely never seen him cry. Truthfully, I never know how to act in these moments. I don’t have the instincts for it. Like, I literally can’t tell if he wants me to go away or if he wants me to bust into his car with a bear hug. So I split the difference and just sort of . . . hover. “You don’t have to talk about it.”
He sighs and buries his face in his hands. “Why are they all here?” he asks, voice muffled.
“For rehearsal . . .”
He doesn’t respond.
“For Emoji? The band?”
“Fuck,” he says finally.
“Bad time?”
He peeks up at me. “Yeah.”
“I’ll deal with everyone. Just head inside.” I swallow. “Seriously, are you okay?”
“I don’t know. I just . . . want to be alone.” He sighs. “Anyway. Thanks.”
“No problem.” I pause. Then, before I can overthink it, I stick my hand into the open window and ruffle Nick’s hair. Because I’m that awkward. But he smiles a little, so it’s worth it.
He slides the window up again as soon as I step back. Then he drives straight into the garage, turns his car off, and shuts the garage door without looking back.
I walk back to the stoop, and Taylor leaps up right away. “What happened? Is he okay?”
“He’ll be fine.” I bite my lip. “He said he wants to be alone, though.”
“Oh.” Taylor looks crestfallen.
Anna shrugs. “Works for me.”
Garrett jangles his car keys. “You ready, Burke?”
But Nora presses a hand to my arm. “Wait. Simon says he’ll kill me if I don’t bring you back to our house.” She holds her phone up. “He says it’s an emergency.”
I freeze. “An emergency?”
“I’m sure it’s not an emergency emergency. He’s just being Simon.”
I nod—but now I’m thinking about Nick’s shiny red eyes. There’s this clammy feeling in my chest—which is just how it felt when my dad left, right before my mom broke the news. It’s like my body knew first. So maybe it really is an emergency. Maybe something really bad happened.
I follow Nora up the road, leaving Garrett visibly deflated. But I can’t worry about Garrett right now. I almost ask Nora if I should run back, just for a minute. Just to check on Nick. But then I think of how quickly he shut that garage door. And he did say he wanted to be alone. I don’t want to bust in on his alone time.
God. This whole friendship thing. You’d think I’d have a handle on it by now.
Simon’s in his driveway waiting for us, perched on the hood of his car. He slides down as soon as he sees me. “Thank God you’re here.” He hugs me tightly. “Ugh. Leah. Everything’s the worst.”
My heart thuds. “What happened?”
“Hop in.” Already, he’s opening the driver side door. Nora lingers, looking concerned.
Simon waves her off. “I’ll fill you in later.” Nora rolls her eyes.
I slide into the passenger seat. “What’s going on?” My stomach twists nervously as I turn toward Simon. “Si, you look like you’re going to cry.”
“I might.” He sighs and turns the car on. “Did Nick tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Abby broke up with him.”
The whole world seems to pause.
“Abby broke up with Nick?”
He nods, slowly, and backs out of the driveway.
“When?”
“This morning. Like thirty minutes ago. I just got off the phone with her.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah.” He sighs faintly.
And for a moment, I’m silent. Sometimes, I swear there’s a little knob beside my heart. It’s as if someone reached in and dialed it ever so slightly to the right, one notch faster.
“Okay,” I say finally. “Wow. Do you know why?”
“I mean, sort of,” says Simon. “I haven’t talked to Nick yet, but going by what Abby said, she just didn’t want to be in a long-distance relationship.”
I pause. “Right.”
“Which—I’m sorry, but that’s ridiculous, right?” Simon says hoarsely. “Like, seriously? You’re not even going to give it a shot? It’s like, hey, look, I’ve got this amazing relationship, but it’s a tiny bit inconvenient, so let’s just end it.” He turns onto Mount Vernon Highway, lips pressed tightly together.
I turn toward the window, my heart in my throat. “Maybe it’s not an amazing relationship,” I say.
“What? It’s Abby and Nick.”
“Okay.”
“They’re like a legend. They’re perfect.” He sniffs. “They’re OTP.”
“But they’re not,” I say softly. And maybe this is out of left field, but I find myself thinking about Taylor. About the way Nick and Taylor were maybe, definitely flirting at Martin’s cast party. About Taylor’s new obsession with Nick joining the band. Maybe something’s actually been going on. Except—I don’t know. I don’t think Nick would cheat. And especially not on Abby. God. He’s so moony-eyed for her. I’ll never forget the way he looked the first few weeks they were dating. He had that particular kind of nerdy-boy swagger, that back-and-forth between braggadocio and wonder.
“And of course it’s right before prom.”
“Yikes.”
Simon shakes his head. “What are we going to do?”
“Well, how did they leave things?”
“I mean, Abby’s like, oh, it’s amicable, we’re still friends, et cetera, you know,” Simon says. “But Nick? I don’t know.”
“He . . . uh . . . didn’t look happy,” I say.
“Do you think I should call him?” Simon exhales. “Actually, maybe I’ll just drop you off and head over there.”
“That works.”
“This is going to be fine.” He nods quickly, like he almost believes it. Then he glances at me. “But I need a tiny favor.”
“How tiny?”
“Okay, not that tiny. You have to talk to Abby.”
My stomach twists. “What?”
“You guys are leaving on Monday, right?”
I nod slowly.
“Leah, you have to talk to her. This is just—I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “Like, I’m not trying to get in the middle, but this is just unnecessary, right? There’s literally no reason for them to break up right now. Abby’s just assuming it’s not going to work.” He turns onto my street, gripping the steering wheel hard. “Why can’t they just try it out and see how it goes?”
“Simon, we don’t get to decide that for them.”
“I know that.”
“Okay.”
Simon pulls into my driveway, and then puts the car in park. “I’m just saying you could talk to her,” he says, after a moment. “I bet she’d listen to you.”