Let Me Love You
Page 2
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Cooper’s eyes darken and he shifts me a little so he has a better grip on me, probably thinking I’m about to run away. “Not right away. After all that shit went down with her running MacKenzie off the road I was keeping an eye on her Facebook account. One night I was going through her pictures and I stumbled across one. You can’t tell from looking at the picture because her body was blocking my face but I know it’s me. I can’t remember all of that night but I remember bits and pieces, and there is no denying it was me in that photo.”
I look down to my lap and fiddle with my fingers, not knowing what to say.
“Jay,” Cooper whispers.
I glance up at him with unshed tears in my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me when you first found out?”
Cooper looks to Hailey and Mason again, and then back to me. “I was planning on telling you but I just didn’t know how. I didn’t want to lose you.”
I could never imagine not having Cooper in my life, not after everything. “I’m not going anywhere, Coop. I’ve told you this before.” He knows this. We’ve talked about it so many times that I can’t even keep count anymore. I can’t function without him in my life. It’s pathetic but it is what it is.
Mason stands and helps pull Hailey off the couch, “Just come get me when you’re ready,” Mason says to Cooper. I glance up to Hailey and she’s smiling apologetically.
“How long have they known?” I ask Cooper after they leave the room.
Cooper kisses my neck, “Hailey hasn’t known that long,” sighing loudly, he continues. “Mason on the other hand has known for a little while. It’s actually the reason why Hailey and Mason split. He was trying to protect me.”
That I’m not surprised about, Mason protecting his brother, that’s just Mason. I never would have thought he’d put anything before Hailey though.
“The night that Hailey thought she saw Lily and Mason kissing in the hallway at the bar was the same night Mason found out. Lily is, or was, apparently friends with Brittany and that’s how she found out. Mason didn’t want her causing shit before the wedding so he took the heat for it all.”
“Oh Mason.” I whisper.
Cooper hugs me closer to him and I enjoy the feeling more than he knows. “I know,” he says. “The stupid ass is lucky he didn’t lose Hailey for good. I was pissed when he told me what he’d done.”
I rest my head on Cooper’s shoulder and snuggle in closer, “Yeah well, I should be pissed off at you, Coop. You should have told me, no secrets ever between us, remember?”
Cooper kisses the top of my head and takes a deep breath, “I know but I was worried about you and the way you were going to handle it.”
I reach over for Cooper’s hand and entwine our fingers, “I’m not going to break. I’m pretty sure if I was it would have happened already. And Cooper,” I lift my head and look into his eyes. “Don’t feel like you can’t tell me things. You’ve helped me so much in the past, let me help you.”
Cooper looks intently into my eyes and then slowly brings his full pink lips to mine. “I’m sorry.”
I place a little kiss on his lips and melt just like I always do with him. All the worry, nervousness, heart-stopping feelings just wash away. Cooper is my rock and I need him more than he’ll ever know. He saved me and now I just need him to let me love him in all the ways I can.
2
Jaylinn handled the news a lot better than I had thought. A lot better than I did. I don’t know why I didn’t think she couldn’t, I should have known better. As soon as her lips met mine I knew everything would be ok with us. Now just to tell Hunter and all will be put in the past and buried there.
I place another sweet and gentle kiss on Jaylinn’s lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away.”
She rests her forehead on mine. “I know you are, but Cooper I need you to let me in.”
Jaylinn wants me to open up and be with her but she doesn’t know what I’m dealing with inside my head. I can’t let her in. I’d feel like I would just be adding more shit into her life, complicating her in ways she didn’t need. Not a day goes by where I don’t feel like an ass**le for sleeping with Brittany, and for that one night that the both of us will never forget. Most of all, she’s still holding onto the one thing I don’t think I deserve. Her virginity.
I don’t deserve it. In my mind, no one does.
I close my eyes, wishing she could see why I can’t take this. “I’m trying Jay.” I lie, hating that I do it to her.
She reaches up and cups my face, her eyes holding mine. “I know you are but try a little harder.” She smiles and it touches my heart like it’s meant to. “I’m not getting any younger here.”
I chuckle and it hits me in the gut. Leave it to Jaylinn to make light of the situation. “You’re not, but the older you get the more beautiful you become.”
Jaylinn gently rubs her nose against mine. It feels so good to have her this close and I keep her wrapped in my arms for a few more minutes before I hear people clearing their throats. “I guess that’s our signal to wrap it up.” I tell Jaylinn who starts to giggle.
“Sorry to break this up but Hails is sending me on a wild goose chase again. We’ve got to stop at Dunkin’ Donuts to pick her up a banana nut muffin.” Mason says with a straight face.
I feel Jaylinn’s body start to shake from laughter and soon the both of us are cracking up. Mason, my cocky ass brother, has done a complete 360 since he found out that Hailey was pregnant. If Hailey asks him to jump, Mason is asking how high. Just last week after the gym he made me go thirty minutes out of the way just to get Hailey a salad from this little shop down-town.
“Alright.” I kiss Jaylinn again and then lift her off my lap.
Jaylinn sits back in the seat that I just vacated. Mason and Hailey are standing in the kitchen and I smile at them as I swipe my jacket off the back of the chair. I turn towards Hailey and place a hand on her stomach. “Let’s go, we’ve got to keep my nieces happy.”
Hailey and Mason both glare at me, “Nephews!”
I remove my hand and walk towards the front door, laughing the whole way.
On the way to Dunkin’ Donuts, Mason is tapping his hand against the steering wheel. I know he’s waiting for me to bring up what went on with Jaylinn after they left the room. He knows when I’m ready to talk about something with him I will.
I look down to my lap and fiddle with my fingers, not knowing what to say.
“Jay,” Cooper whispers.
I glance up at him with unshed tears in my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me when you first found out?”
Cooper looks to Hailey and Mason again, and then back to me. “I was planning on telling you but I just didn’t know how. I didn’t want to lose you.”
I could never imagine not having Cooper in my life, not after everything. “I’m not going anywhere, Coop. I’ve told you this before.” He knows this. We’ve talked about it so many times that I can’t even keep count anymore. I can’t function without him in my life. It’s pathetic but it is what it is.
Mason stands and helps pull Hailey off the couch, “Just come get me when you’re ready,” Mason says to Cooper. I glance up to Hailey and she’s smiling apologetically.
“How long have they known?” I ask Cooper after they leave the room.
Cooper kisses my neck, “Hailey hasn’t known that long,” sighing loudly, he continues. “Mason on the other hand has known for a little while. It’s actually the reason why Hailey and Mason split. He was trying to protect me.”
That I’m not surprised about, Mason protecting his brother, that’s just Mason. I never would have thought he’d put anything before Hailey though.
“The night that Hailey thought she saw Lily and Mason kissing in the hallway at the bar was the same night Mason found out. Lily is, or was, apparently friends with Brittany and that’s how she found out. Mason didn’t want her causing shit before the wedding so he took the heat for it all.”
“Oh Mason.” I whisper.
Cooper hugs me closer to him and I enjoy the feeling more than he knows. “I know,” he says. “The stupid ass is lucky he didn’t lose Hailey for good. I was pissed when he told me what he’d done.”
I rest my head on Cooper’s shoulder and snuggle in closer, “Yeah well, I should be pissed off at you, Coop. You should have told me, no secrets ever between us, remember?”
Cooper kisses the top of my head and takes a deep breath, “I know but I was worried about you and the way you were going to handle it.”
I reach over for Cooper’s hand and entwine our fingers, “I’m not going to break. I’m pretty sure if I was it would have happened already. And Cooper,” I lift my head and look into his eyes. “Don’t feel like you can’t tell me things. You’ve helped me so much in the past, let me help you.”
Cooper looks intently into my eyes and then slowly brings his full pink lips to mine. “I’m sorry.”
I place a little kiss on his lips and melt just like I always do with him. All the worry, nervousness, heart-stopping feelings just wash away. Cooper is my rock and I need him more than he’ll ever know. He saved me and now I just need him to let me love him in all the ways I can.
2
Jaylinn handled the news a lot better than I had thought. A lot better than I did. I don’t know why I didn’t think she couldn’t, I should have known better. As soon as her lips met mine I knew everything would be ok with us. Now just to tell Hunter and all will be put in the past and buried there.
I place another sweet and gentle kiss on Jaylinn’s lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away.”
She rests her forehead on mine. “I know you are, but Cooper I need you to let me in.”
Jaylinn wants me to open up and be with her but she doesn’t know what I’m dealing with inside my head. I can’t let her in. I’d feel like I would just be adding more shit into her life, complicating her in ways she didn’t need. Not a day goes by where I don’t feel like an ass**le for sleeping with Brittany, and for that one night that the both of us will never forget. Most of all, she’s still holding onto the one thing I don’t think I deserve. Her virginity.
I don’t deserve it. In my mind, no one does.
I close my eyes, wishing she could see why I can’t take this. “I’m trying Jay.” I lie, hating that I do it to her.
She reaches up and cups my face, her eyes holding mine. “I know you are but try a little harder.” She smiles and it touches my heart like it’s meant to. “I’m not getting any younger here.”
I chuckle and it hits me in the gut. Leave it to Jaylinn to make light of the situation. “You’re not, but the older you get the more beautiful you become.”
Jaylinn gently rubs her nose against mine. It feels so good to have her this close and I keep her wrapped in my arms for a few more minutes before I hear people clearing their throats. “I guess that’s our signal to wrap it up.” I tell Jaylinn who starts to giggle.
“Sorry to break this up but Hails is sending me on a wild goose chase again. We’ve got to stop at Dunkin’ Donuts to pick her up a banana nut muffin.” Mason says with a straight face.
I feel Jaylinn’s body start to shake from laughter and soon the both of us are cracking up. Mason, my cocky ass brother, has done a complete 360 since he found out that Hailey was pregnant. If Hailey asks him to jump, Mason is asking how high. Just last week after the gym he made me go thirty minutes out of the way just to get Hailey a salad from this little shop down-town.
“Alright.” I kiss Jaylinn again and then lift her off my lap.
Jaylinn sits back in the seat that I just vacated. Mason and Hailey are standing in the kitchen and I smile at them as I swipe my jacket off the back of the chair. I turn towards Hailey and place a hand on her stomach. “Let’s go, we’ve got to keep my nieces happy.”
Hailey and Mason both glare at me, “Nephews!”
I remove my hand and walk towards the front door, laughing the whole way.
On the way to Dunkin’ Donuts, Mason is tapping his hand against the steering wheel. I know he’s waiting for me to bring up what went on with Jaylinn after they left the room. He knows when I’m ready to talk about something with him I will.