Let Me Love You
Page 30

The whole way there he was giving me the, ‘don’t leave your drink unattended, don’t take a drink from anyone you don’t know’ speech. I felt like he was treating me like his sister and I didn’t want that. I was a little irritated with him by the time we got there so I tried to keep him at a distance, needing some space. I figured I would be safe, I knew he would be in the house somewhere; Eli was there too, as were a few of the girls from the soccer team.
A few hours passed and one of my friends introduced me to a guy named Kevin. He was nice enough and kind of cute, with his piercing blue eyes and blond hair. I had been drinking since arriving at the party so for all I know he could have been the ugliest guy there, but with beer googles on I couldn’t tell. Cooper came over and checked on me a few times and was keeping my beer full. It was his way of looking out for me; he didn’t seem to trust anyone here at the party. Kevin got up to go the bathroom and asked if wanted him to bring me a drink back. I looked down and my beer was empty again so I told him yes. After countless beers I wasn’t thinking clearly with all the alcohol in my system.
I had almost finished the drink that Kevin had got me when I started to feel the room spin and I suddenly didn’t feel very well. I never drank to the point of throwing up, I was drinking a lot that night but I still knew my limits.
“Can we go sit down for a few minutes?” I asked Kevin as I felt myself starting to sway. I grabbed onto his shoulder to steady myself.
What is going on with me? I’m sweating and feel so dizzy.
“It’s hot as hell in here.” I whine. “I wish someone would open up a window or something.”
“You want to take a walk up to my room and cool off for a bit?” He asks in a low raspy voice that had me wondering what that meant. “I’ve got the air conditioner on up there.”
“Oh no,” My words come out as a slur, “Cooper would kick my ass.” My eyes feel heavy and I’m really tired.
Kevin throws an arm over my shoulder, “I don’t see Cooper around anywhere.”
I shake my head back and forth and the room fades in and out. I know I drank a little more than I normally do but I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I reach up and attempt to wipe the back of my hand over my forehead but miss and wind up hitting my nose. I wait for the pain to kick in but everything feels numb. I lean back against the couch as my stomach rolls.
Kevin stands up and holds a hand out to me. “Come on, let’s get you upstairs and cooled off. You’ll feel better, I promise.”
The way he said I’d feel better didn’t sit right with me but I couldn’t argue. I couldn’t get the words together to argue.
The last thing I remember is being lifted into the air and floating away.
I take a minute to collect myself before continuing. I look over to my mom; she’s gripping the coffee cup in her hands so tightly that the tips of her fingers are white. I look out over towards the window, it’s a cold, dark, gloomy day, matching my mood perfectly.
I take a sip of my coffee and place it on the coffee table in front of me. I reach for the throw blanket on the back of the couch and lay it over me, bringing it up to my shoulders and feeling very cold.
I look up to the ceiling, rest my eyes for a second and then continue.
It happened so fast, one minute I’m fine and now, I can’t breathe.
I can’t speak and even if I could, I’m not so sure there would have been words.
I can’t see past the darkness inside me.
And I can’t move. There’s a weighted, heavy and suffocating silence that takes over my body.
My body is pinned against the bed, arms being held above my head. I try to move but my body is numb. I can’t feel my limbs.
“Don’t fight me baby.” Are the first words I hear when I finally come around. I try to turn my head away from the voice but it doesn’t move. My body is fighting me.
I don’t understand what is happening to me. Why I can’t I move?
I feel warm, sweaty hands sliding up my sides, and my shirt is being removed. I can’t feel anything, it’s all numb.
This is wrong, all wrong.
“I’m going to make you feel so good.” He says in a seductive voice that makes me want to throw up, the smell of his breath is making me nauseous.
This can’t be happening. I have to do something.
“Play nice and I’ll make this real good for you.”
His words are like acid rain, wrong voice, wrong touch.
Kevin reaches down and unbuttons my jeans and then my zipper. I take the deepest breath I can, squeeze my eyes shut and pray that I’m able to scream and fight him off.
My mouth opens but nothing comes out. Off in the distance I can hear my name being called. Something inside me comes alive and I finally find my voice.
“Cooper!” I scream, but my voice feels like it’s just above a whisper, captured by his hand.
“Fuck!” The guy says before slapping me across the face. “Shut the f**k up!”
It stings but doesn’t stop me from begging him to stop. It won’t stop me from fighting him. “Don’t do this, please.” I beg, crying and pleading, begging for someone to come in.
I start crying and whatever is covering my eyes becomes wet with my tears. I try moving my arms again but I still can’t get them to move.
Heavy footsteps bring me back to reality; helping me see despite not being able to move.
“Jaylinn,” Cooper calls for me again.
“Cooper,” I cry out, hoping he can hear me and stop this.
“Shut the f**k up!” Kevin says through gritted teeth, his hand over my mouth. “Don’t you say another f**king word!”
Suddenly the weight that was on my body is gone and in the next second so are my pants and panties. I hear the sound of his belt clanking and then the sound of a zipper and the crinkle of plastic.
I start crying uncontrollably when his hand slips from my mouth. “Please don’t do this. Please.”
I hear a bang in the distances followed by my name again. “Jaylinn!”
Cooper’s getting close.
Please hurry.
Kevin slaps a hand over my mouth again. “What did I say? Shut the f**k up.” He hisses.
I hear another bang of a door being slammed shut a little closer again this time and then Cooper roaring, “Where the f**k is she?” I can tell by his voice that when he does find me, he’s not going to be happy.
The weight from Kevin returns, his sweaty, sticky skin against mine. I tried to squeeze my legs together but it was no use. Kevin is too caught up to realize that Cooper isn’t far. I just need to fend him off just a little longer. “Don’t make a f**king sound and I’ll take it easy on you.” I feel his body start to shake against me as he thrust his h*ps against mine. He’s so close to entering me. I will all my inner strength to move away.