Let Me Love You
Page 36
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I run my hand over the top of the bar as the tears come. I walk over to the railing and look out over to the Atlantic Ocean. This building is in a really great location and it should do really well, especially in the summer months. Just off into the distance I can see the Sky Ride that Cooper and I shared our real first kiss on.
I don’t know how long I’ve been up here just enjoying the view when Eli comes up next to me. “Pretty sweet view, huh?”
“Yeah.” I reach up and wipe away the last remaining tears.
“Your friend is downstairs waiting for you.” Eli tells me. “I hired her.”
Smiling I say, “Thank you.”
He returns the smile and the butterflies are back in full force. Eli has a perfect smile and you just have to smile back, even if you have nothing to smile about.
“So since Layla is starting this weekend does that mean I get to see your pretty face at the grand opening too?”
I cross my arms over my chest as goose bumps cover my arms, and it’s not from being cold. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” I realize that the shirt I’m wearing reveals a little more of my chest than I’m used to, and with my arms crossed over my chest Eli is getting an eyeful.
I glance up and sure enough Eli is staring at me. When he notices that I caught him he laughs and I can’t help but laugh too. It’s nice to feel desired by someone who is so attractive.
“You should come, pretty girl.” Eli says as he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.
I say, teasing, “Do you call all the girls that?”
He shakes his head, “No, only you.” And then he winks at me.
My cheeks flame instantly. I sigh like a little school girl. “You’re a flirt, Eli Sabatino.”
He chuckles when he sees that my cheeks are in fact red. “You’re hot and I like to flirt, but you’re one of my friends’ girls at the end of the day so it’s all in good fun.”
A pang of longing for Cooper hits me. I drop my arms and turn to walk back downstairs, remembering that Layla is waiting for me. The words, my words, painted on the wall stop me for just a second.
Eli comes up behind me and wraps his big strong arms around me. It takes everything in me not to lean back into him, needing the support, just needing to be told that everything will be okay.
Eli whispers in my ear, “Throw him a curve ball, Jay.” I turn my head to the side, “Throw something at him that he’s not expecting.”
I nod and step out of Eli’s hold on me, “Thanks again for hiring Layla.”
He winks, “I did it for you, pretty girl.”
I shake my head and leave Eli and his flirting behind with a new sense of determination. Eli’s words play over and over in my head as I drive Layla to her house to drop her off. I’ve barely paid her any attention but she’s talked enough for the both of us and I don’t think she’s caught on that I’ve barely said a word.
I’m throwing Cooper a curve ball, one that he’s not going to expect.
18
It’s Saturday afternoon, the grand opening for the club is tonight. We have a full staff on hand , a great DJ lined up, and everything else is set and ready to go. We’ve ran a few advertising campaigns to draw in a crowd and we’ve been hearing great feedback.
Mason and I are at the gym, burning off some of this adrenaline that’s pumping through my body with the opening tonight.
“So you ready for tonight?” Mason asks as we’re changing in the locker room.
I pull my t-shirt over my head, “Yeah, everything is all set. You’re coming right?”
Mason looks at me like I’m stupid. “Of course I’m coming. We all are, well except Hailey.” Mason whistles. “Man she is not happy about that.”
I chuckle, “I imagine not.”
“Mom is going over to Kenz’s house to watch the babies so she can come too.” He throws his head back and laughs. “You should have heard the conversation that she and Hunter were having when I stopped over the other day.” He laughs again. “Kenz was talking about going out to find something to wear and Hunter was just sitting back not really paying attention. Kenz knew it too but she knew I was listening so she was messing around with him. She started listing off all the shit she had to go out and buy and the second she said black bra to cover the see through dress Hunter’s eyebrows shot up. He turned his neck so fast I was sure he’d hurt himself. They got into an argument about what she was and wasn’t allowed to wear. I got the hell out of there after that.”
“I’m glad she’s Hunter’s problem.”
He chuckles again, “He must not be getting any ‘cause Hunter was pissed when she said that he was cut off longer for talking to her the way he was.”
Leave it to my sister to hit a guy where it hurts. “Sucker.”
Mason and I both walk out of the gym laughing. It feels good to laugh; I haven’t been doing much of it lately. So much is going on I feel like I can’t breathe half the time. It’s good in a way as I don’t have time to dwell on my past and think of Jaylinn. On some of those nights when I wake up too early to go to the gym, or I just can’t fall asleep, my mind wanders and I get lost in my own head. I wish that things could be different for us. I wish I could get over my fear of giving into her and then losing her because she can’t handle it. Damn, I miss her something fierce but it has to be like this. She deserves better, deserves to live in the moment.
“Alright, I’ll see you tonight.” Mason says as he claps me on the shoulder.
“See you tonight.”
The club is opening at nine and Eli and I have been here since five making sure everything is set up and ready to go. The staff, dressed in black shorts and electric blue tops, arrived at seven and they are running over the list of things we left for them to do. The bouncers, dressed in black shorts and black polos with Bouncer in electric blue written across the back, are walking around getting familiar with all the exits and going over the plans if anything were to go down.
Eli knocks on the door to my office a few minutes before we are set to open. “You ready for this?”
I smile, a true smile, because I am ready to do this. It’s a new chapter in my life. This is how I used to feel about leaving for spring training, knowing that I was doing something I loved, but now I’m dreading leaving the club and my life behind. I feel in my element here, like this is what I’m supposed to be doing. Do I love baseball? Yes, no doubt about it. I will always love playing baseball but I’m not in love with it the way I used to be. I want what my brothers have. I want to settle down, start a family and grow roots here in Jersey. I’m tired of always being gone and on the road. I’ve had a taste of that future with Jaylinn and now it’s all I want.
I don’t know how long I’ve been up here just enjoying the view when Eli comes up next to me. “Pretty sweet view, huh?”
“Yeah.” I reach up and wipe away the last remaining tears.
“Your friend is downstairs waiting for you.” Eli tells me. “I hired her.”
Smiling I say, “Thank you.”
He returns the smile and the butterflies are back in full force. Eli has a perfect smile and you just have to smile back, even if you have nothing to smile about.
“So since Layla is starting this weekend does that mean I get to see your pretty face at the grand opening too?”
I cross my arms over my chest as goose bumps cover my arms, and it’s not from being cold. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” I realize that the shirt I’m wearing reveals a little more of my chest than I’m used to, and with my arms crossed over my chest Eli is getting an eyeful.
I glance up and sure enough Eli is staring at me. When he notices that I caught him he laughs and I can’t help but laugh too. It’s nice to feel desired by someone who is so attractive.
“You should come, pretty girl.” Eli says as he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.
I say, teasing, “Do you call all the girls that?”
He shakes his head, “No, only you.” And then he winks at me.
My cheeks flame instantly. I sigh like a little school girl. “You’re a flirt, Eli Sabatino.”
He chuckles when he sees that my cheeks are in fact red. “You’re hot and I like to flirt, but you’re one of my friends’ girls at the end of the day so it’s all in good fun.”
A pang of longing for Cooper hits me. I drop my arms and turn to walk back downstairs, remembering that Layla is waiting for me. The words, my words, painted on the wall stop me for just a second.
Eli comes up behind me and wraps his big strong arms around me. It takes everything in me not to lean back into him, needing the support, just needing to be told that everything will be okay.
Eli whispers in my ear, “Throw him a curve ball, Jay.” I turn my head to the side, “Throw something at him that he’s not expecting.”
I nod and step out of Eli’s hold on me, “Thanks again for hiring Layla.”
He winks, “I did it for you, pretty girl.”
I shake my head and leave Eli and his flirting behind with a new sense of determination. Eli’s words play over and over in my head as I drive Layla to her house to drop her off. I’ve barely paid her any attention but she’s talked enough for the both of us and I don’t think she’s caught on that I’ve barely said a word.
I’m throwing Cooper a curve ball, one that he’s not going to expect.
18
It’s Saturday afternoon, the grand opening for the club is tonight. We have a full staff on hand , a great DJ lined up, and everything else is set and ready to go. We’ve ran a few advertising campaigns to draw in a crowd and we’ve been hearing great feedback.
Mason and I are at the gym, burning off some of this adrenaline that’s pumping through my body with the opening tonight.
“So you ready for tonight?” Mason asks as we’re changing in the locker room.
I pull my t-shirt over my head, “Yeah, everything is all set. You’re coming right?”
Mason looks at me like I’m stupid. “Of course I’m coming. We all are, well except Hailey.” Mason whistles. “Man she is not happy about that.”
I chuckle, “I imagine not.”
“Mom is going over to Kenz’s house to watch the babies so she can come too.” He throws his head back and laughs. “You should have heard the conversation that she and Hunter were having when I stopped over the other day.” He laughs again. “Kenz was talking about going out to find something to wear and Hunter was just sitting back not really paying attention. Kenz knew it too but she knew I was listening so she was messing around with him. She started listing off all the shit she had to go out and buy and the second she said black bra to cover the see through dress Hunter’s eyebrows shot up. He turned his neck so fast I was sure he’d hurt himself. They got into an argument about what she was and wasn’t allowed to wear. I got the hell out of there after that.”
“I’m glad she’s Hunter’s problem.”
He chuckles again, “He must not be getting any ‘cause Hunter was pissed when she said that he was cut off longer for talking to her the way he was.”
Leave it to my sister to hit a guy where it hurts. “Sucker.”
Mason and I both walk out of the gym laughing. It feels good to laugh; I haven’t been doing much of it lately. So much is going on I feel like I can’t breathe half the time. It’s good in a way as I don’t have time to dwell on my past and think of Jaylinn. On some of those nights when I wake up too early to go to the gym, or I just can’t fall asleep, my mind wanders and I get lost in my own head. I wish that things could be different for us. I wish I could get over my fear of giving into her and then losing her because she can’t handle it. Damn, I miss her something fierce but it has to be like this. She deserves better, deserves to live in the moment.
“Alright, I’ll see you tonight.” Mason says as he claps me on the shoulder.
“See you tonight.”
The club is opening at nine and Eli and I have been here since five making sure everything is set up and ready to go. The staff, dressed in black shorts and electric blue tops, arrived at seven and they are running over the list of things we left for them to do. The bouncers, dressed in black shorts and black polos with Bouncer in electric blue written across the back, are walking around getting familiar with all the exits and going over the plans if anything were to go down.
Eli knocks on the door to my office a few minutes before we are set to open. “You ready for this?”
I smile, a true smile, because I am ready to do this. It’s a new chapter in my life. This is how I used to feel about leaving for spring training, knowing that I was doing something I loved, but now I’m dreading leaving the club and my life behind. I feel in my element here, like this is what I’m supposed to be doing. Do I love baseball? Yes, no doubt about it. I will always love playing baseball but I’m not in love with it the way I used to be. I want what my brothers have. I want to settle down, start a family and grow roots here in Jersey. I’m tired of always being gone and on the road. I’ve had a taste of that future with Jaylinn and now it’s all I want.
