Letting Go
Page 38

 Molly McAdams

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By the time the food had been delivered, Charlie and Grey were completely back to normal. But Grey was still sitting far enough away that I couldn’t touch her, and even when Charlie went outside to get something from her car, she was acting like nothing had ever happened between us. I couldn’t help wondering how much she regretted what little we’d done, and if she was blaming me for it.
Grey
July 28, 2014
AS SOON AS I walked into The Brew, I spotted Charlie sitting at one of the large couches and started toward her just as she waved at me. She already had two drinks on the table, and I knew without having to look at the cup farthest from her that it was an iced caramel macchiato for me. Charlie and I had always taken turns getting something from this shop in the morning before classes during high school, so it was impossible to not know what each other’s favorite was.
“Hey, sorry I’m late,” I said as I sat down beside her on the couch.
She waved me off and pushed my drink closer to me. “You’re not. I came here early so I could grab a few books.”
“Get anything good?”
“Of course,” she scoffed. “Some more romances from a few of my favorite authors . . . you could always borrow them when I’m done.”
A sharp laugh burst from my chest, and I rolled my eyes. “Oh yes, please, I would love nothing more than that,” I said drily.
“You never know, Grey, you might just fall in love with them.”
“Doubtful. But, really, enjoy them for me.”
I wasn’t a fan of reading much, as it was, but romance was definitely the opposite of what I would look for if I was. Charlie had been trying to get me into reading since she started high school, but I didn’t see the point. Because of romance novels, she had expectations that were absurdly high when it came to guys, and even though I’d always joked with her that she’d only ever find those kinds of guys in books, she’d just smile dreamily and say, “He’s out there.”
“I will get you to read one, Grey LaRue. One of these days, I promise you.”
“They’re all fairy-tale-ish, and there’s always the happy ending that never happens in real life.”
Charlie looked like I’d just stuck a knife in her stomach. “It does happen in real life, but not all the stories have happy endings. And fairy tale? Come on, Grey, this isn’t Cinderella.”
I laughed softly and took a sip of my drink. “You know what I mean. Girl meets guy, they’re perfect for each other. Something happens that will threaten to keep them apart, and then they live happily ever after.”
Charlie’s expression told me she was trying to figure out a way to disagree, but then her shoulders slumped and she mumbled, “Yeah, that’s usually how it goes.”
“See?”
“But there’s so much more in them! Yeah, okay, fine . . . that’s generally the outline to any romance novel, but it’s what happens to fill up that outline that makes it amazing. It’s the different circumstances, it’s the lengths they’ll go to in order to be together, it’s their struggles that are real.”
“Your inner nerd is showing,” I teased.
“I’m serious, Grey. They’re not all perfect.” She looked away for a second, and I actually worried that she was too involved in these books when I saw the deep sadness embedded in her features.
“Hey, I was kidding.”
Charlie looked back at me and smiled, but there was still that sadness her eyes weren’t able to hide. “No, I know you were. I wasn’t offended by what you said. But I don’t believe everything is a fairy tale, Grey. Life hurts; there are parts of life that are so major that they’ll change you completely. We’re all on this giant roller coaster and you never know when you’re going to go down, or just how far down you’ll actually have to go. But those drops and those climbs are what make us, and make our life what it’s supposed to be—whether it hurts or not.”
I couldn’t move or say anything as I sat there listening to her. This girl I’d grown up with and who had always been so quiet and shy because she lived in her books sounded like her world had been crushed. I couldn’t think of anything in her life that would rock her enough to make her sound like this.
“Like I said, I don’t believe everything is a fairy tale. But I do believe that everyone meets someone in their life who will make it seem like their life is as close to a fairy tale as it can get.”
“Okay,” I said on a breath.
“Anyway!” She straightened her back and shook herself as a bright smile lit up her face. “I will get you to read a book one day, just you wait.”
“And I’ll just leave it there because I love the smell of books.” I looked behind me at all the shelves of books, and smiled. “I would work here just so I could have two of the best smells in the world. Coffee and books.”
“Why don’t you?”
“Hmm?” I turned to look at Charlie, my forehead creased. “Why don’t I what?”
“Work here. You told me the other night at Jagger’s that you were looking for a job. Unless you start your own business, you’re not going to find much in Thatch. Or you could always travel into another town to work in an office.”
“I don’t want to work in an office,” I grumbled. “I can’t see myself sitting behind a desk all day.”
“Didn’t think so, and unless you’re about to turn into my mom and go through a bunch of phases where you try to make things, I’d say you don’t have many options.”