Lifeblood
Page 110
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His Lifeblood soaks me. It’s so beautiful, glittering like diamond dust.
—I will live on.—
“In the Rest.” I choke on another sob. “I know. I know I’ll see you through the Grid, but that’s not good enough. I need you in Troika. I need you with me. You’re not done with my training. There’s so much more you need to teach me. And what about Jeremy? Levi, you can’t leave him. He needs you, too.”
—I will be with you both, always. In your hearts, I’ll be with you.—
Not just ours, but every heart he’s ever touched. To so many, he’s been like a rainbow after a storm.
He gifts me with another smile, this one slow, the sadness gone. —Until we meet again.—
“No!” My voice cracks at the edges. “You can’t do this.”
The Light fades from his eyes, and his head lolls to the side. I dry heave.
He’s dead. He’s dead and gone, his spirit transported into the Rest. I thought the worst was over. I had no idea the worst was actually on the horizon.
“I didn’t know. You have to believe me, Ten, I didn’t know this would happen...” Dior drops to her knees and frantically pats Levi’s face. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Levi! You didn’t tell me. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Javier jerks her to her feet.
My gaze locks on him and narrows. I’ve lost too many people lately; I’ve forgiven too many crimes. Here, now, I’m broken. I’m nothing but shattered pieces.
“You.” I point at him. One decision can change everything. In a single second, your entire world can shift. The things we say, the things we do...we affect everyone around us. “You are responsible for this.”
A flush of shame darkens his cheeks, and yet he never stops tugging at Dior toward the door, eager to escape the poisonous fruit of his labors. “I did what was right for her.”
“Liar. You did what you wanted, not what she needed.”
In the stands, hostilities bubble over, even as Sloan attempts to be a voice of calm.
“Walk away. This isn’t the place—”
Troikans and Myriadians charge each other. They might be weaponless, but they have fists and they aren’t afraid to use them.
“Order! Order!” the judge shouts from his podium.
No one listens. Once again, strong arms wrap around me. Killian drags me through the crowd. Deacon remains at his side, ensuring no one is able to harm me. Once we clear the room, the boys pick up speed and hurry out of the building, down the steps and to the Gate that leads to Troika.
I stop struggling, knowing I’m not doing anyone any favors. Least of all Levi.
“I wish I could go with you.” Killian reluctantly hands me over to Deacon. He traces his knuckles along my jawline. “After today, I’ll have to go into hiding. I’ll have to find a way into Many Ends from the fringes. But when you’re ready, summon me. I’ll come. I’ll always come. I love you. Never forget.”
My heart squeezes, trapped in a vise-grip, but I’m too broken to respond.
As Deacon ushers me through the Gate, my fingers trail from Killian’s, my gaze staying hooked with his until the last possible second. Then he’s gone, and I’m stepping through the Veil of Wings to enter Troika, where I’m greeted by the same devastation I left.
When will the heartache end?
News of Levi’s death has already spread, everyone Deacon and I pass bawling. Most people knew him as a General, a warrior who helped save spirits and humans alike. An icon. A symbol of Light.
I knew him as a friend.
Hopeful glances find me, and part of me withers. I’m not the answer to their problems. I’m not as strong as I thought I was. I’m just a girl torn and shattered by the ravages of war. I’m the defeated one. The loser. The failure. Abhorred...by myself.
Even as Light shines over me, I am surrounded by darkness.
Love is not the answer
How could anyone believe that
Love empowers!
Hate
Is the true treasure and far better than
Love
Hate allows you to do what’s necessary for victory,
and victory is the source of your happiness.
Never allow yourself to be convinced that
Love is not a weakness
The truth is
Love is an anchor that holds you down
Be wise, and refuse to believe the biggest lie of all:
Love gives you wings and makes you soar.
A woman steps into my path, stopping me. I know her. Brigitte’s mother. Smiling, she grabs my hands; she’s the only bit of happiness amid the gloom. “Thank you. Thank you!”
I simply blink at her.
“Brigitte signed with Troika this morning!”
My brow furrows with confusion. “Why?” I don’t understand. I spoke to her once, only once.
“Whatever you said kept her thinking. She couldn’t escape your words and finally visited a TL stationed in Paris. They spoke at length. She left crying but returned a few hours later to make her pledge.”
“That’s wonderful,” I say, only sounding more depressed.
I pull from her hold, pull from Deacon’s hold and run... I run, and I don’t look back.
* * *
I end up in the scorched manna fields, my heart pounding. No matter how far I go, I can’t escape my problems.
—I will live on.—
“In the Rest.” I choke on another sob. “I know. I know I’ll see you through the Grid, but that’s not good enough. I need you in Troika. I need you with me. You’re not done with my training. There’s so much more you need to teach me. And what about Jeremy? Levi, you can’t leave him. He needs you, too.”
—I will be with you both, always. In your hearts, I’ll be with you.—
Not just ours, but every heart he’s ever touched. To so many, he’s been like a rainbow after a storm.
He gifts me with another smile, this one slow, the sadness gone. —Until we meet again.—
“No!” My voice cracks at the edges. “You can’t do this.”
The Light fades from his eyes, and his head lolls to the side. I dry heave.
He’s dead. He’s dead and gone, his spirit transported into the Rest. I thought the worst was over. I had no idea the worst was actually on the horizon.
“I didn’t know. You have to believe me, Ten, I didn’t know this would happen...” Dior drops to her knees and frantically pats Levi’s face. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Levi! You didn’t tell me. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Javier jerks her to her feet.
My gaze locks on him and narrows. I’ve lost too many people lately; I’ve forgiven too many crimes. Here, now, I’m broken. I’m nothing but shattered pieces.
“You.” I point at him. One decision can change everything. In a single second, your entire world can shift. The things we say, the things we do...we affect everyone around us. “You are responsible for this.”
A flush of shame darkens his cheeks, and yet he never stops tugging at Dior toward the door, eager to escape the poisonous fruit of his labors. “I did what was right for her.”
“Liar. You did what you wanted, not what she needed.”
In the stands, hostilities bubble over, even as Sloan attempts to be a voice of calm.
“Walk away. This isn’t the place—”
Troikans and Myriadians charge each other. They might be weaponless, but they have fists and they aren’t afraid to use them.
“Order! Order!” the judge shouts from his podium.
No one listens. Once again, strong arms wrap around me. Killian drags me through the crowd. Deacon remains at his side, ensuring no one is able to harm me. Once we clear the room, the boys pick up speed and hurry out of the building, down the steps and to the Gate that leads to Troika.
I stop struggling, knowing I’m not doing anyone any favors. Least of all Levi.
“I wish I could go with you.” Killian reluctantly hands me over to Deacon. He traces his knuckles along my jawline. “After today, I’ll have to go into hiding. I’ll have to find a way into Many Ends from the fringes. But when you’re ready, summon me. I’ll come. I’ll always come. I love you. Never forget.”
My heart squeezes, trapped in a vise-grip, but I’m too broken to respond.
As Deacon ushers me through the Gate, my fingers trail from Killian’s, my gaze staying hooked with his until the last possible second. Then he’s gone, and I’m stepping through the Veil of Wings to enter Troika, where I’m greeted by the same devastation I left.
When will the heartache end?
News of Levi’s death has already spread, everyone Deacon and I pass bawling. Most people knew him as a General, a warrior who helped save spirits and humans alike. An icon. A symbol of Light.
I knew him as a friend.
Hopeful glances find me, and part of me withers. I’m not the answer to their problems. I’m not as strong as I thought I was. I’m just a girl torn and shattered by the ravages of war. I’m the defeated one. The loser. The failure. Abhorred...by myself.
Even as Light shines over me, I am surrounded by darkness.
Love is not the answer
How could anyone believe that
Love empowers!
Hate
Is the true treasure and far better than
Love
Hate allows you to do what’s necessary for victory,
and victory is the source of your happiness.
Never allow yourself to be convinced that
Love is not a weakness
The truth is
Love is an anchor that holds you down
Be wise, and refuse to believe the biggest lie of all:
Love gives you wings and makes you soar.
A woman steps into my path, stopping me. I know her. Brigitte’s mother. Smiling, she grabs my hands; she’s the only bit of happiness amid the gloom. “Thank you. Thank you!”
I simply blink at her.
“Brigitte signed with Troika this morning!”
My brow furrows with confusion. “Why?” I don’t understand. I spoke to her once, only once.
“Whatever you said kept her thinking. She couldn’t escape your words and finally visited a TL stationed in Paris. They spoke at length. She left crying but returned a few hours later to make her pledge.”
“That’s wonderful,” I say, only sounding more depressed.
I pull from her hold, pull from Deacon’s hold and run... I run, and I don’t look back.
* * *
I end up in the scorched manna fields, my heart pounding. No matter how far I go, I can’t escape my problems.
