They all laugh when Beck chimes in. I turn and take in the four men standing in front of me, meeting each of their eyes to figure out what I’m supposed to say.
“Maddox Locke?” a little voice calls from behind the guys.
“Yeah, C-Man?” I should have known that Cohen, Greg and Melissa’s son, would find us out here. He’s been one of the guys ever since he went through some crazy shit a few years ago.
“I thought you were gonna bring Aunt Emmy home forever and ever.”
“Leave it to the kid to say what we’re all thinking.”
I don’t know who said it; I’m too busy looking at Cohen, his expressive, brown eyes locked with mine.
“You’re a big, brave superhero, Maddox Locke. I know it because you helped me bring my mommy back. You told me I needed to be brave and strong and show her my love. That’s all you have to do. When Mommy is mad at Daddy, he just tickles her until they start making funny noises.” He puts his small, balled-up fist on his hips and gives Greg as hard a look as he can when he starts choking on his laughter. “I bet if you smiled real big like that she would like that. You don’t smile a lot, Maddox Locke.”
I clear my throat and look up at the guys for some help. They all seem to be just as shocked with how much the little dude takes in from all of us.
“Yeah, C-Man, I think you’re right. I might even try that smiling stuff you’re talking about.”
“Woohoo!” he yells, spinning on his small feet and slapping my body with his cape that is always tied around his neck. “Mommy! Aunt Dee! He said I was right and he’s gonna smile!” he screams, running back in the house.
I lock eyes with the guys, each of us struggling to hold it in, before we all burst out laughing. It feels so foreign to me that I have to wonder, is this what happiness feels like?
“You want me to give you a lift? Chelcie can handle things before I get back,” Asher asks when the others go back inside.
“Yeah, brother. I’d like that.”
He smiles, gives me a nod, and runs inside to get the keys to his Jeep.
The ride back to the apartment is pretty quiet. I know it’s not going to last long; Asher isn’t exactly a silent thinker. Sometimes, I swear the wheels can be heard clanking around in his head before he even gets his words out. I guess part of the way he and Coop grew up taught him to pick his words carefully, and I can respect that, so I give him the time he needs.
Well, at least I try to give him the time he needs—it isn’t like I live hours away.
“Just spit it out, Asher. I know you have something to say, so you might as well get it out before we hit the apartment complex, because the second you roll up there, I’m out.”
“Right,” he starts. “So…that picture I found?”
“That’s all you want to ask me? About a picture you found weeks ago in a forgotten box deep in my closet?” I clarify.
“Well, I was just wondering if your nightmare—you know you called that picture that—had gotten better.”
“I’m working on it,” I tell him honestly.
“And do you remember when you told me to wake up and realize there’s more to live for? I know you’ve seen some shit, Mad. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been able to hit so close to home with your words months ago. You once told me to stop beating myself up over things I had no control over, and the Maddox Locke I know is no goddamn hypocrite, so I have to ask—are you done with your shit?”
I keep looking at his profile for a second, noticing for the first time just how nervous he was to throw all that out there. Then, for the second time tonight, I throw my head back and laugh.
“Yeah, Asher. You know what they say: YOLO.”
It’s pretty ridiculous that it takes a five-year-old kid to make me wake the hell up and take a chance. Jesus, I can’t believe I just fucking said ‘YOLO.’
The Jeep swerves slightly when his head jerks in my direction. “Did you just YOLO me?”
Still laughing, I reply, “Yeah, asshole. Someone wise once told me that was the best way to live your life.”
He smiles sadly for a second, knowing damn well there was only one of our group who would ever willingly say YOLO.
The rest of the drive, we make small talk, but my nerves are too jumpy for me to really engage in any sort of conversation with him. I know I have a long road to go. I’m not instantly going to just be able to forget my past, but from this moment forward, I have to be willing to take a chance. I have to take a chance at what Emmy has been offering me and pray that I’m making the right decision. Because I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself if my demons make my angel fall.
“There’s the Charger,” he says, breaking the silence we adopted about five minutes ago.
“Yup.”
“Do you need anything else?”
“Nope, I’m good—but I’ll let you know if that changes,” I say, stepping down from the Jeep. I turn back before I shut the door and let my lips tip up. “Thanks for…everything.”
His eyes flash at the shock of my words. “Yeah, any time. If you need me, just call.”
I nod my head, shut his door, and stride to the elevators. The garage is silent for the night, the majority of the tenants in the apartment complex home from wherever they’ve been—settled in for a night of relaxing. Not me though. Nope. Tonight, I’m going to claim my woman for good.
It’s time to let my angel in and hope that she can really help me battle all of this shit I carry around with me like dead weight.
Chapter 18—Maddox
The first thing I notice when I step into my apartment is the silence. Usually, I can always hear her tinkering around, even when she isn’t doing anything physically. Her soft singing, the pages of her book turning, or even the humming noises she makes when she’s asleep.
Cat greets me at the door with a deep meow, as usual. We’ve developed some weird friendship. Emmy used to laugh and say that Cat could recognize someone who needed a friend. Oh how right she was. I scratch Cat behind the ears and set off to look for her owner.
“Em?”
Nothing. A flash of apprehension over the situation starts to take over, but I push it aside and keep looking for her. The apartment isn’t huge, but it’s large enough that she might not have heard me.
“Maddox Locke?” a little voice calls from behind the guys.
“Yeah, C-Man?” I should have known that Cohen, Greg and Melissa’s son, would find us out here. He’s been one of the guys ever since he went through some crazy shit a few years ago.
“I thought you were gonna bring Aunt Emmy home forever and ever.”
“Leave it to the kid to say what we’re all thinking.”
I don’t know who said it; I’m too busy looking at Cohen, his expressive, brown eyes locked with mine.
“You’re a big, brave superhero, Maddox Locke. I know it because you helped me bring my mommy back. You told me I needed to be brave and strong and show her my love. That’s all you have to do. When Mommy is mad at Daddy, he just tickles her until they start making funny noises.” He puts his small, balled-up fist on his hips and gives Greg as hard a look as he can when he starts choking on his laughter. “I bet if you smiled real big like that she would like that. You don’t smile a lot, Maddox Locke.”
I clear my throat and look up at the guys for some help. They all seem to be just as shocked with how much the little dude takes in from all of us.
“Yeah, C-Man, I think you’re right. I might even try that smiling stuff you’re talking about.”
“Woohoo!” he yells, spinning on his small feet and slapping my body with his cape that is always tied around his neck. “Mommy! Aunt Dee! He said I was right and he’s gonna smile!” he screams, running back in the house.
I lock eyes with the guys, each of us struggling to hold it in, before we all burst out laughing. It feels so foreign to me that I have to wonder, is this what happiness feels like?
“You want me to give you a lift? Chelcie can handle things before I get back,” Asher asks when the others go back inside.
“Yeah, brother. I’d like that.”
He smiles, gives me a nod, and runs inside to get the keys to his Jeep.
The ride back to the apartment is pretty quiet. I know it’s not going to last long; Asher isn’t exactly a silent thinker. Sometimes, I swear the wheels can be heard clanking around in his head before he even gets his words out. I guess part of the way he and Coop grew up taught him to pick his words carefully, and I can respect that, so I give him the time he needs.
Well, at least I try to give him the time he needs—it isn’t like I live hours away.
“Just spit it out, Asher. I know you have something to say, so you might as well get it out before we hit the apartment complex, because the second you roll up there, I’m out.”
“Right,” he starts. “So…that picture I found?”
“That’s all you want to ask me? About a picture you found weeks ago in a forgotten box deep in my closet?” I clarify.
“Well, I was just wondering if your nightmare—you know you called that picture that—had gotten better.”
“I’m working on it,” I tell him honestly.
“And do you remember when you told me to wake up and realize there’s more to live for? I know you’ve seen some shit, Mad. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been able to hit so close to home with your words months ago. You once told me to stop beating myself up over things I had no control over, and the Maddox Locke I know is no goddamn hypocrite, so I have to ask—are you done with your shit?”
I keep looking at his profile for a second, noticing for the first time just how nervous he was to throw all that out there. Then, for the second time tonight, I throw my head back and laugh.
“Yeah, Asher. You know what they say: YOLO.”
It’s pretty ridiculous that it takes a five-year-old kid to make me wake the hell up and take a chance. Jesus, I can’t believe I just fucking said ‘YOLO.’
The Jeep swerves slightly when his head jerks in my direction. “Did you just YOLO me?”
Still laughing, I reply, “Yeah, asshole. Someone wise once told me that was the best way to live your life.”
He smiles sadly for a second, knowing damn well there was only one of our group who would ever willingly say YOLO.
The rest of the drive, we make small talk, but my nerves are too jumpy for me to really engage in any sort of conversation with him. I know I have a long road to go. I’m not instantly going to just be able to forget my past, but from this moment forward, I have to be willing to take a chance. I have to take a chance at what Emmy has been offering me and pray that I’m making the right decision. Because I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself if my demons make my angel fall.
“There’s the Charger,” he says, breaking the silence we adopted about five minutes ago.
“Yup.”
“Do you need anything else?”
“Nope, I’m good—but I’ll let you know if that changes,” I say, stepping down from the Jeep. I turn back before I shut the door and let my lips tip up. “Thanks for…everything.”
His eyes flash at the shock of my words. “Yeah, any time. If you need me, just call.”
I nod my head, shut his door, and stride to the elevators. The garage is silent for the night, the majority of the tenants in the apartment complex home from wherever they’ve been—settled in for a night of relaxing. Not me though. Nope. Tonight, I’m going to claim my woman for good.
It’s time to let my angel in and hope that she can really help me battle all of this shit I carry around with me like dead weight.
Chapter 18—Maddox
The first thing I notice when I step into my apartment is the silence. Usually, I can always hear her tinkering around, even when she isn’t doing anything physically. Her soft singing, the pages of her book turning, or even the humming noises she makes when she’s asleep.
Cat greets me at the door with a deep meow, as usual. We’ve developed some weird friendship. Emmy used to laugh and say that Cat could recognize someone who needed a friend. Oh how right she was. I scratch Cat behind the ears and set off to look for her owner.
“Em?”
Nothing. A flash of apprehension over the situation starts to take over, but I push it aside and keep looking for her. The apartment isn’t huge, but it’s large enough that she might not have heard me.
