Long Way Home
Page 77
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“What’s the detective’s plan?” he asks.
I pull the blanket tighter around me like a shield. This is where it’s all going to fall apart. “He wants me to give the Riot the account numbers.”
His jaw hardens, but to his credit, he keeps his mouth shut. I’ve agreed to give business details involving the club to an outsider, an outsider who believes the Terror are bad.
“If the club is truly legit, then the account numbers shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Keep explaining.”
So if he didn’t like the first part, he’s going to love the second. “I give the account numbers to the Riot. The police watch the accounts, and when the Riot manipulates them to try to set up Eli, they’ll arrest them.”
A few beats of silence, a snapping and crackling of wood. The heart of the fire burns red and the flames lick skyward.
“That’s it?” Chevy asks. “We find the account numbers, we hand them to the Riot and then you’re done?”
My lips twist to the side. “When did this become a we? Last I checked this was a me.”
“It’s been a we since the Riot pulled over on the side of the road. You don’t want the Terror involved, fine, but I’m in this with you.”
Annoyance rumbles through me, but at least he’s trying to give, so...fair enough.
“That’s it?” he repeats.
“Basically.” I draw the word out longer than needed. “That and I need to wear a wire when I give them the account numbers and somehow engage them in conversation that makes them implicate themselves.”
And that’s when Chevy loses his mind.
CHEVY
VIOLET MUST HAVE been hit too hard in the head during the kidnapping. Wearing a wire. What the hell is she thinking? Why doesn’t she just go ahead and place a gun to her head and pull the trigger?
I make my fifth pass of stalking around the fire. Violet’s on the other side, sitting there, watching the fire like she just announced we were going to make s’mores instead of...
“Wearing a wire. This isn’t a movie, Violet. They figure it out and they will kill you. That basement will look like kindergarten. Have you forgotten they shot Eli this summer? Eli thinks the Riot are the ones who took a shot at Razor last month. They almost killed you. They almost killed me. These men are murderers.”
“I’m aware.” Violet finally raises her eyes to look at me, and I could strangle her for how calm she’s acting.
She’s aware. She’s aware? “Do you understand what I’m saying? When I speak, is it English that’s coming out?”
Violet pulls her hand out of the blanket, tucks her fire-red hair behind her ear, then shrugs. “They’ve already hurt me and they’ve already hurt you. If we don’t stop them, they will continue to hurt us and they’ll move on to the people we love. We have the power to end this once and for all. Don’t you want to secure peace?”
Peace. I don’t even know what that is anymore. I run a hand over my face when I honestly feel like clawing my skin off. “What don’t you understand? I can’t let you do this. I won’t!”
A tick of her head. The first show of emotion and it’s her building temper. “Can’t, let and won’t. Three words not to use with me. I’m not asking your permission. I’m informing you of the decisions I’ve made. You don’t see me telling you that you can’t be part of the club or I’m going to let you be part of the club or that I won’t stand for you to be part of the club. You’re a big boy, Chevy. You can make your own big-boy decisions and I’m a big girl and you need to learn to accept my big-girl decisions. You want a dog to order around and be obedient, I bet you can adopt one at the pound.”
“Why does it always come back to the club?”
“Because that’s how they treat me, and whether you realize it or not, you do a modified version of trying to control me, too. To be honest, you want to be with me and be with the club? I could live with that, as long as you learn that I am not your property, I am not a dog, that I am your equal and I deserve the love and respect that comes with that because that’s what a real man does when he loves a woman.”
Violet shuts her eyes like she’s just poured out her soul and didn’t mean for it to happen and I’m having a hard time catching my breath. The fragile foundation of understanding I had crumbles and I take a step toward Violet onto solid ground. An equal. That’s all she wants and it feels sickening and strange that I never understood it until now. I thought loving her made us equal, but love doesn’t necessarily mean that I listened to her. I listened...to what I thought was best for her...to what was best for me.
But to wear a wire... My throat closes and an ache ripples through my chest. She ran for the gun, and when that shot reverberated around the room, my knees gave and the pain that consumed me nearly crushed me to the point of death.
“I love you,” I say. “And I don’t want to live without you.”
Violet pulls the blanket tighter around her shoulders. “And I love you and I don’t want to live without you. Even if we can’t work things out between us, I will still love you and I still don’t want to live without you. If you go down roads I can’t travel, then I need to know you’re safe. I need to know Eli is safe, and Cyrus and Pigpen and Oz and Razor and my mom and my brother, and I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.
I pull the blanket tighter around me like a shield. This is where it’s all going to fall apart. “He wants me to give the Riot the account numbers.”
His jaw hardens, but to his credit, he keeps his mouth shut. I’ve agreed to give business details involving the club to an outsider, an outsider who believes the Terror are bad.
“If the club is truly legit, then the account numbers shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Keep explaining.”
So if he didn’t like the first part, he’s going to love the second. “I give the account numbers to the Riot. The police watch the accounts, and when the Riot manipulates them to try to set up Eli, they’ll arrest them.”
A few beats of silence, a snapping and crackling of wood. The heart of the fire burns red and the flames lick skyward.
“That’s it?” Chevy asks. “We find the account numbers, we hand them to the Riot and then you’re done?”
My lips twist to the side. “When did this become a we? Last I checked this was a me.”
“It’s been a we since the Riot pulled over on the side of the road. You don’t want the Terror involved, fine, but I’m in this with you.”
Annoyance rumbles through me, but at least he’s trying to give, so...fair enough.
“That’s it?” he repeats.
“Basically.” I draw the word out longer than needed. “That and I need to wear a wire when I give them the account numbers and somehow engage them in conversation that makes them implicate themselves.”
And that’s when Chevy loses his mind.
CHEVY
VIOLET MUST HAVE been hit too hard in the head during the kidnapping. Wearing a wire. What the hell is she thinking? Why doesn’t she just go ahead and place a gun to her head and pull the trigger?
I make my fifth pass of stalking around the fire. Violet’s on the other side, sitting there, watching the fire like she just announced we were going to make s’mores instead of...
“Wearing a wire. This isn’t a movie, Violet. They figure it out and they will kill you. That basement will look like kindergarten. Have you forgotten they shot Eli this summer? Eli thinks the Riot are the ones who took a shot at Razor last month. They almost killed you. They almost killed me. These men are murderers.”
“I’m aware.” Violet finally raises her eyes to look at me, and I could strangle her for how calm she’s acting.
She’s aware. She’s aware? “Do you understand what I’m saying? When I speak, is it English that’s coming out?”
Violet pulls her hand out of the blanket, tucks her fire-red hair behind her ear, then shrugs. “They’ve already hurt me and they’ve already hurt you. If we don’t stop them, they will continue to hurt us and they’ll move on to the people we love. We have the power to end this once and for all. Don’t you want to secure peace?”
Peace. I don’t even know what that is anymore. I run a hand over my face when I honestly feel like clawing my skin off. “What don’t you understand? I can’t let you do this. I won’t!”
A tick of her head. The first show of emotion and it’s her building temper. “Can’t, let and won’t. Three words not to use with me. I’m not asking your permission. I’m informing you of the decisions I’ve made. You don’t see me telling you that you can’t be part of the club or I’m going to let you be part of the club or that I won’t stand for you to be part of the club. You’re a big boy, Chevy. You can make your own big-boy decisions and I’m a big girl and you need to learn to accept my big-girl decisions. You want a dog to order around and be obedient, I bet you can adopt one at the pound.”
“Why does it always come back to the club?”
“Because that’s how they treat me, and whether you realize it or not, you do a modified version of trying to control me, too. To be honest, you want to be with me and be with the club? I could live with that, as long as you learn that I am not your property, I am not a dog, that I am your equal and I deserve the love and respect that comes with that because that’s what a real man does when he loves a woman.”
Violet shuts her eyes like she’s just poured out her soul and didn’t mean for it to happen and I’m having a hard time catching my breath. The fragile foundation of understanding I had crumbles and I take a step toward Violet onto solid ground. An equal. That’s all she wants and it feels sickening and strange that I never understood it until now. I thought loving her made us equal, but love doesn’t necessarily mean that I listened to her. I listened...to what I thought was best for her...to what was best for me.
But to wear a wire... My throat closes and an ache ripples through my chest. She ran for the gun, and when that shot reverberated around the room, my knees gave and the pain that consumed me nearly crushed me to the point of death.
“I love you,” I say. “And I don’t want to live without you.”
Violet pulls the blanket tighter around her shoulders. “And I love you and I don’t want to live without you. Even if we can’t work things out between us, I will still love you and I still don’t want to live without you. If you go down roads I can’t travel, then I need to know you’re safe. I need to know Eli is safe, and Cyrus and Pigpen and Oz and Razor and my mom and my brother, and I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.
