Losing Control
Chapter Nineteen

 
"Thanks for coming with me, sweetie. I know you're busy polishing up your resume."
Parking her car, Taryn glanced across at her aunt, who was sitting with her best handbag on her lap in the passenger seat.
"Spending the morning with you is tons more fun than sorting out job history and qualifications." Everything that reminds me how I quit a job I thought I'd love. That I will never again see the man I stupidly fell in love with.
Taryn switched off the ignition, opened her door and got her thoughts on track. "I'm just wondering when you got interested in nautical themes."
"It's time for a change. I'm over polished oak and tapestry upholstery. When I saw that flyer earlier this week, the stock and colors leaped out and grabbed me."
Taryn checked out the run of storefronts, which paralleled a busy marina. Shielding her eyes from the sun, she inhaled the scent drifting in on a gentle saltwater breeze. Sydney was interlaced with so many gorgeous bays, but this morning, all that clear blue water stretching out toward the "great beyond" made her heart squeeze tight in her chest.
Each day she told herself to focus on tomorrow not on yesterday. Having left Hunter Broadcasting for good, the world was her oyster. She could pursue her dream of producing; she still believed Hot Spots would appeal to a wide audience. On the other hand, just because she'd worked in TV all her adult life didn't mean she wouldn't enjoy a different vocation. A job that would suit her a hundred times more, maybe.
In a place that didn't remind her of Cole.
As they crossed the parking lot, Vi examined that flyer again.
"According to this, the store's way down the other end. I only want a quick look, first up. No deposits until I've chewed over all the options."
They were passing a cafe, its display cabinet filled with rows of scrumptious-looking cakes. Taryn wasn't surprised when Vi's step slowed and she asked, "Want to stop for a coffee before tackling the shops?"
"Sure. I missed my caffeine hit this morning."
"And that torte is calling me. I'll go on ahead for a preliminary once-over of that floor stock, you order us something nice and I'll meet you back here in ten."
"Take your time."
Taryn headed for an outside table while Vi, in her denim pedal pushers, hurried away.
After consulting the menu, Taryn passed on her orders to a waitress: latte and torte for Vi, fresh seasonal berries with a Muscat cream and a flat white for her. As she sat back and drank in a view crammed with boats, of course she thought of Cole again, and of how close she'd come to crumpling and inviting him back into her life.
Even now when she thought of the way he'd held her that rainy day at her door - the determination of that sizzling kiss - she suffered the same doubts. What if Vi were right in her advice? If she hadn't pushed Cole away that final time, perhaps that path might have somehow opened for them again. At some stage Cole must realize he couldn't battle everyone's storms all of the time. Couldn't he cut himself some slack?
Didn't he want his own life?
But as Roman had said, a leopard doesn't change its spots. Cole blustered around, letting all and sundry know how indispensible he was. The kicker was, as far as she was concerned, he was special. Incredibly so.
No one else would ever make her pulse race the way he did. When they made love, every move was perfect. Every stroke sublime. This constant gnawing she felt must fade with time but, sitting here now, remembering their amazing night on that quiet moonlit beach, she simply couldn't see it.
Guess there was the possibility she would never fall in love again. Hadn't that been true for Vi? Some people's hearts could only be given away once. With only passersby and squawking gulls for company, Taryn couldn't help imagining going through life alone...with no partner, no children.
No family of her own.
Taryn gazed blindly at her sandals and forced herself to be positive. Common sense said she'd feel so much better in three months. Probably her old self again in six. If only she could stop thinking about how wonderful his mouth had felt grazing over hers. How alive she'd been when they'd laughed together and had opened up. It had felt so...real.
A flower blew under the next table - a large red bloom that looked much like the one she admired on that island. Angling, Taryn focused on the petals, the soft scarlet plains. Was everything today meant to remind her of Cole?
About to lean over and collect that flower, Taryn tipped back as cake and berries arrived. But when the plates slid onto the tabletop, she noticed the hands that served her were male. Not uncommon. Except she recognized those hands, the bronzed corded forearms. Oh, God, she knew that watch.
From head to toe she began to tingle. But it couldn't be. This had to be her imagination running wild. Too much mulling had short-circuited her brain. But then that voice resonated out, drifting like a warm welcome veil over her senses and denial was simply no use.
He asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
As time seemed to slow, Taryn clamped shut her eyes. In a heartbeat, the island and those bittersweet memories were back. A stinging pain penetrated her ribs. How would she ever move on if he kept showing up like this?
When she opened her eyes, that flower was sitting on the table in front of her as if placed there by magic. The impulse to either sweep the bloom aside or hug it close was overwhelming. Her fingers itched to stroke the velvet petals, place them against her cheek and wish them all back to that time.
Instead, she pushed her back into the chair and bit down as a man rounded the table. When their eyes met, Taryn's stomach looped and her head began to prickle with heat, just like the tips of her breasts. In casual white trousers, rubber-soled shoes and a black short-sleeved shirt, Cole gazed down at her as his dark hair rippled in a stiffening breeze.
"Nice view," he said.
She crossed her arms. Found her voice. "I'm waiting for my aunt. She'll be back any moment."
He nodded as if it were of little consequence. "You're looking well."
Taryn didn't feel well, but she noticed that his eyes were clearer than the last time they'd spoken...the last time they'd kissed. And the smudges underneath had faded, too. The strong angle of his jaw was clean-shaven and his expression reflected a completely relaxed air she hadn't seen since their time in the Pacific. Just how had he come to be here this morning, serving her cake when surely he had business to sort?
As if reading her mind, he explained, "I bought a boat."
She'd bite. "Plan to do some cruising around the harbor?"
"Actually, I was planning to set sail for far deeper waters."
"Such as?"
"Ulani."
Taryn blinked. Her Hot Spots destination?
"Why there?"
"I have a yearning to see if those turtles hatched and broke out on their own. Must be hell sharing that kind of space with so many siblings."
She looked at him sideways. Really? "What happened to all your responsibilities? Has your dad's assailant been caught?"
"Not yet, but I have every faith in Brandon."
"You're not worried something might happen while you're gone?"
"I'll worry. But no more than my brothers and sister. Teagan says she wants to come out."
Taryn started. "You talked to your sister?"
He grinned. "It was really good to catch up."
"And what's happening with Tate?"
"He's safe and well. All set to fly over to stay with Dex. I'll stay and keep him company until he does. He hasn't stopped talking about Disneyland."
"But what about your work commitments? The way you spoke, your L.A. section's a hairbreadth away from closing its doors?"
"Yes, well," Cole tugged his ear, "I may have overreacted. I was wrong not to give Dex more credit. Wynn, too. Truth is they're doing their best in hard times."
Taryn couldn't believe she was hearing it. "What brought you to that conclusion?"
"A great big dose of 'appreciate what you have because it could be gone tomorrow.'" He searched her eyes. "Taryn, I need to apologize. You were right. I'd already made my mind up about your show and nothing could change it. But I should have taken a chance. I should have taken a chance on, and believed in, a lot of things."
When his gaze intensified, Taryn's stomach muscles kicked. Pressing a palm against the spot, she switched the focus back onto Cole and this left-field decision to sail off into the sunset.
"And your football contract?" she asked. That was supposed to be critical.
"I finally told Finlay he could jam it," he said. "We signed the next day. We're set there for the next five years."
Taryn was slowly shaking her head. Cole was walking away, just like that? It couldn't be true.
"But you have the everyday running of the place. So many things to oversee - "
"Roman's been given a permanent promotion. He has enough experience in the role. I'm sure he'll do a great job as Hunter Broadcasting's CEO."
Now Taryn was holding her brow. She was happy for Roman but she felt positively dizzy at the news. "I can't believe that you're...that you'll - "
"Leave on a long overdue vacation." Looking so tall and commanding, he cocked his head toward the berths. "Come and take a look at my baby."
For a moment, Taryn felt lost for words. Someone was playing a joke. "You've been brainwashed. Or you fell and hit your head."
"I haven't thought this clearly in years. Come have a look. You don't have to go inside. Just admire her from the jetty."
Her gaze dropping to that flower, Taryn felt her thoughts begin to spin. Cole seemed like a different person. But that wasn't quite right. The man who was smiling and looking so laid-back before her now was the same man she'd fallen for on that island. The person she'd been so drawn to. Was drawn to still.
She schooled her face and her feelings. "Thanks for the invitation, but I'll stay where I am."
Where it's safe.
She collected her spoon and tasted her berries, but Cole didn't take the hint. He didn't leave.
On her second mouthful, he said, "Taryn, I won't blame you if you don't come, but I'm asking you...please. Two minutes, that's all."
Taryn set down her spoon. She knew she ought to stick with no. He couldn't make her go.
Still, what harm could come from taking a quick look?
Besides she was curious.
But when he offered his hand as she moved to stand, she merely got to her feet and walked with him down a pier until they reached a berth that housed an impressive powered catamaran. Her lines were all glossy white, the trimmings gleaming chrome. She was long and the towered flybridge seemed to touch the clouds. Taryn could imagine Cole standing up there, facing the wind and the sea, enjoying the sunshine and battling ocean storms. The name on the boat's side was written in bold blue letters - BREAK OUT.
"I thought it was appropriate," he said. Setting his fists low on his hips, he studied his boat from bow to stern. "So, what do you think?"
"She's beautiful."
"You're beautiful."
Taryn met his gaze. He was smiling softly, seductively, with that I'm-going-to-kiss-you-soon look sparkling in his eyes.
So not happening.
"I'm sure you'll enjoy many pleasant voyages together," she said, edging away, feeling a smoldering quiver build in her stomach. "I really should get back."
"Want to come along?"
Her mouth dropped open. Cole meant on his trip? He had gone mad.
"No," she told him. "I do not want to come along."
"I had the carpenters build a mini quarters for the cats inside."
She blinked several times, let out a short sharp laugh. "Cole, firstly I don't think you could take cats on a boat. They'd jump off and drown." Surely.
"Then I'll take them."
At the sound of that third voice, Taryn pivoted around.
Vi stood close enough to have heard the conversation. Her aunt shrugged. "You know how I love cats."
Taryn could only stare. Was this some kind of conspiracy?
When she got her breath back, Taryn asked her aunt, "You knew about this, didn't you? You purposely led me down here so that Cole could run into me."
Cole intervened. "I contacted Vi and asked for her help."
Taryn couldn't remember an occasion when Vi had lied to her before. Honesty had always been the best policy in their house. But on a deeper level, looking into Vi's apologetic yet hopeful face now, she believed her aunt was sincerely doing what she thought was best. She didn't want her niece to throw away what might prove to be her only chance of real happiness. But Taryn had already made up her own mind about that, and she intended to stick with it.
She headed off. "I'm done."
But before she reached Vi, she ran into a man - a delivery guy by his uniform.
The man asked, "Are you Taryn Quinn?"
She frowned then nodded. "Who wants to know?"
He simply handed over his delivery - an enormous, fragrant bouquet. And not just any bunch of flowers. They were big bright scarlet blooms, like the one that boy had given her on the island, like the one she'd found under that cafe table moments ago.
A jet of emotion filled her chest, her throat. Then her eyes were stinging with the threat of real tears. This was not fair. Was Cole this desperate to get her back into his bed? To snag a sleeping buddy on his Pacific voyage? She wasn't that easily bought, no matter what he might think.
She was ready to swing around and hand these flowers back to the person who had obviously arranged for them to arrive, when another deliveryman strode up, and another. Both were holding similar bouquets. And the men and flowers kept coming. When she couldn't possibly hold any more, Cole directed the men to arrange them on the deck of his boat.
Gobsmacked, Taryn inspected the end of the pier. There must have been ten florist vans lined up. Deliverymen were still traveling down the pier, conveying her very own private world full of petals.
While she choked back emotion, Cole took the bouquets from her arms and handed them over to be laid out with the rest. Then he found her hands and, lifting one at a time, tenderly kissed the back of each wrist.
"Other than my mother, I've never so much as given a daisy to a woman before."
A hot tear slipped from the corner of her eye. She remembered. "You give jewelry."
"I want to give you a piece now."
She stepped back. "But I don't want anything from you."
He closed the space separating them. "This isn't a trick, Taryn. There's no need to be afraid." He smiled. "I'm not."
From a back trouser pocket, he withdrew a small velvet-covered box. He opened the lid then angled the box around for her to see what lay inside.
A large diamond sat at the heart of the ring's setting. Two Ceylon sapphires, the color of their island's bay, hugged the main stone on either side.
"You're that one special person I've been waiting for," Cole told her. "The woman I want to have as my wife. To bear my children." He grinned. "When we're not sailing the high seas, that is."
"B-but your work," she stammered. "Your family commitments." She knew what he'd told her, but she couldn't believe it.
"From this day forward, I intend to take on board and cherish life's biggest responsibility. To love and care for the woman I adore." One hand took hers. "Taryn, I can't sleep, can't eat, can barely think when you're not around. I need you in my life. As my partner. As my friend."
He slipped the ring on her finger then set that palm against the sandpaper rough of his jaw as his eyes searched hers and he waited for her response.
Taryn was drawn by the steam of his body, the determination of his will. Then she glanced back. Vi's gaze was upon her, her hands and bag clasped at her breasts while she obviously wished only the best for the grown woman who would always be her child. Behind her aunt, all those deliverymen were waiting, leaning on rails or against their vans. And a curious crowd had gathered, too, shoppers she'd watched pass by, the waitress who had taken her order. All were hanging out for her reply. Yes. Or no. Taryn swallowed deeply then slowly turned back.
She thought of her torment these past days then she thought of how bright and clear the future suddenly looked. As Cole's brow pinched a little and more of his heart shone in his eyes, she took a breath and confessed....
"I'm in love with you." Her sigh came out half sob, half laugh of sheer joy. "I can't believe this is happening."
He didn't waste a second. In a heartbeat, she was wrapped up in his arms and he was telling her, "This is only the start. Our beginning." He pulled away enough to see her face, the tears of joy running down her cheeks. "I was thinking maybe a ceremony at sea. But it's your call." He grinned. "You're in charge."
"With a honeymoon on Break Out?" Salty trails curled under her chin. Given all those flowers, she warned him, "I don't think there's any room on that boat left for us."
"I gave the florist explicit instructions to leave the bunk free."
"That's where we sleep?"
His mouth brushed and tickled her ear. "Besides other things."
Cole swept her up into his arms. With the marina filled with vocal cheering well-wishers, he carried her aboard. Standing on the deck with her still in the cradle of his arms, he told her, "There's a tradition for future newlyweds."
Running an adoring hand over the square of his jaw, she murmured, "Give me a hint."
"I'll give you more than that."
With a wicked smile, he lifted her higher and then his mouth claimed hers. She was aware of hoots and cheers going up from the pier. But she was more aware of the promise of the future in her fiance's kiss. Their life together would never be dull. Could never come second. All their tomorrows would only ever feel warm and safe and loved.