Her siblings had divested her of that fear on a rational level. She could see them as husbands and wives, as parents, and know they were so much more than those hellish years in that trailer could have made them.
“You all right?” Tate asked as Beth settled in with a big slice of pizza. The girls were at the table eating pizza and laughing like crazy with their dad and Uncle Nathan.
“This gonna bug you?” Beth indicated the pizza. It smelled heavenly to her, but she wasn’t pregnant.
“Nah, I’m all right. Matt went and got me some of that ginger-brew stuff. The real goods. I had one and I feel much better. Though I’m going to start burping like a sailor because of the carbonation. Thanks for getting the girls cleaned up.”
“No problem. You know I love to help, and they’re so freaking adorable it’s not a chore at all.”
“I’m biased, but honestly, two more adorable baby girls I have yet to see. Now, you’re going to tell me why you had that look on your face.”
“Nothing bad. I was just thinking about how these kids teach me that we’re more than what we came from. You’re an amazing mother. I mean, I know that because you’re basically my mother. But when Matt approaches, they don’t run away. They don’t flinch. They turn to him, little faces turned up to him expectantly. They run to him when he comes in from work. They make noise and caper around, and they aren’t afraid. They have things simply because those things make them happy. Not in an overabundance, you and Matt are smart about not spoiling them too much. You, William and Tim have created a new generation of Murphys who seem to have escaped any marks from what we were. It’s a good thing.”
Tate sat there, tears running down her face. “Everyone’s gonna ignore me because of course I cry at cotton commercials now. But what you just said? It’s the nicest, most wonderful thing. Thank you. I love you so much, Beth. I’m so glad you’re in my life. So glad you’re in my daughters’ lives too. How are things with Joe?”
Beth shrugged. “Good. I don’t see him a lot. Like once a week or so. Maybe twice. We text and email. He’s got something going on at home. I wager it’s about his father. I’ve heard stuff around town. But he hasn’t shared much.”
Beth got it. More than she wanted to really. She understood being closed up about stuff that happened at home. Understood shame. “I get it. I do. He’s not ready to share.”
“But you want him to. William told me there was trouble at home too, but he wasn’t saying much. I don’t think Joe has told him anything either.”
“It’s not like boys really do that sort of sharing anyway. I do hope, for his sake, that he’s got someone to talk to though. It’s hard to manage stuff alone.”
“There’s gossip. About Carl I mean. He’s been starting fights. Unusual.”
“I heard. I’m wary about bringing it up so I haven’t.”
“I think you’re probably right. Let me ask you this though. Is he worth it? I mean, sure he’s hesitant to share, but that’s what people who’re in a relationship do. They share their troubles and their triumphs too.”
“We’re dating. That’s all for now. He’s busy. I’m busy. We see each other when we get the chance. As long as he’s not seeing anyone else when he’s got the chance, we’re all right. I like him. A lot. He’s strong. He’s got a good heart. Love that dog of his. Man who’d treat a dog like that is a good man.”
Tate nodded. “I tend to agree. I just want you to be happy. I want him to be worthy of you.”
She grinned at her sister, putting her head on Tate’s shoulder a moment. “Me too. I want him to share. I want to earn his trust. For now, where we are is all right. I’m taking it one day at a time.”
“That’s fair.” Tate tipped her chin toward where Matt sat with his daughters. “I just want you to have that too.”
“Oh so do I. I wondered if I’d ever be ready for such a thing, and more and more lately I’m totally sure I am. I want a passel of babies and a husband. I want to plant flowers out in front of my house and I want my babies’ daddy to tease them about eating dirt.”
“You’ll have it. I know you will. Matt changed everything. I had no idea really. I never expected that sort of fidelity and constancy. It’s the most wonderful thing in the world to share this with him. I can’t wait for you to have that as well.”
“He’s only been back a few months. Things are going slow and that’s okay. For now.”
He missed her.
Joe glanced at the salon as he closed up the garage and headed home. It had been nearly a week since he’d seen her last. They’d spoken here and there, but he wanted to touch her. To hear her voice as she was right next to him instead of over a phone.
He’d convinced his father to go see someone. They’d had an appointment just two days before and were waiting to hear back. It gave him some measure of comfort, though waiting was tough now, with the promise of some relief just over the next rise. Maybe.
He paused in his driveway. Pulling his phone out to text her.
You around?
He waited a few moments until she replied.
I am. How are you?
There’s a distinct Beth-shaped spot in my life and it’s empty. Wanna fill it?
A pause.
Is this a booty call, Mr. Harris?
He snorted a laugh and Buck barked.
“You all right?” Tate asked as Beth settled in with a big slice of pizza. The girls were at the table eating pizza and laughing like crazy with their dad and Uncle Nathan.
“This gonna bug you?” Beth indicated the pizza. It smelled heavenly to her, but she wasn’t pregnant.
“Nah, I’m all right. Matt went and got me some of that ginger-brew stuff. The real goods. I had one and I feel much better. Though I’m going to start burping like a sailor because of the carbonation. Thanks for getting the girls cleaned up.”
“No problem. You know I love to help, and they’re so freaking adorable it’s not a chore at all.”
“I’m biased, but honestly, two more adorable baby girls I have yet to see. Now, you’re going to tell me why you had that look on your face.”
“Nothing bad. I was just thinking about how these kids teach me that we’re more than what we came from. You’re an amazing mother. I mean, I know that because you’re basically my mother. But when Matt approaches, they don’t run away. They don’t flinch. They turn to him, little faces turned up to him expectantly. They run to him when he comes in from work. They make noise and caper around, and they aren’t afraid. They have things simply because those things make them happy. Not in an overabundance, you and Matt are smart about not spoiling them too much. You, William and Tim have created a new generation of Murphys who seem to have escaped any marks from what we were. It’s a good thing.”
Tate sat there, tears running down her face. “Everyone’s gonna ignore me because of course I cry at cotton commercials now. But what you just said? It’s the nicest, most wonderful thing. Thank you. I love you so much, Beth. I’m so glad you’re in my life. So glad you’re in my daughters’ lives too. How are things with Joe?”
Beth shrugged. “Good. I don’t see him a lot. Like once a week or so. Maybe twice. We text and email. He’s got something going on at home. I wager it’s about his father. I’ve heard stuff around town. But he hasn’t shared much.”
Beth got it. More than she wanted to really. She understood being closed up about stuff that happened at home. Understood shame. “I get it. I do. He’s not ready to share.”
“But you want him to. William told me there was trouble at home too, but he wasn’t saying much. I don’t think Joe has told him anything either.”
“It’s not like boys really do that sort of sharing anyway. I do hope, for his sake, that he’s got someone to talk to though. It’s hard to manage stuff alone.”
“There’s gossip. About Carl I mean. He’s been starting fights. Unusual.”
“I heard. I’m wary about bringing it up so I haven’t.”
“I think you’re probably right. Let me ask you this though. Is he worth it? I mean, sure he’s hesitant to share, but that’s what people who’re in a relationship do. They share their troubles and their triumphs too.”
“We’re dating. That’s all for now. He’s busy. I’m busy. We see each other when we get the chance. As long as he’s not seeing anyone else when he’s got the chance, we’re all right. I like him. A lot. He’s strong. He’s got a good heart. Love that dog of his. Man who’d treat a dog like that is a good man.”
Tate nodded. “I tend to agree. I just want you to be happy. I want him to be worthy of you.”
She grinned at her sister, putting her head on Tate’s shoulder a moment. “Me too. I want him to share. I want to earn his trust. For now, where we are is all right. I’m taking it one day at a time.”
“That’s fair.” Tate tipped her chin toward where Matt sat with his daughters. “I just want you to have that too.”
“Oh so do I. I wondered if I’d ever be ready for such a thing, and more and more lately I’m totally sure I am. I want a passel of babies and a husband. I want to plant flowers out in front of my house and I want my babies’ daddy to tease them about eating dirt.”
“You’ll have it. I know you will. Matt changed everything. I had no idea really. I never expected that sort of fidelity and constancy. It’s the most wonderful thing in the world to share this with him. I can’t wait for you to have that as well.”
“He’s only been back a few months. Things are going slow and that’s okay. For now.”
He missed her.
Joe glanced at the salon as he closed up the garage and headed home. It had been nearly a week since he’d seen her last. They’d spoken here and there, but he wanted to touch her. To hear her voice as she was right next to him instead of over a phone.
He’d convinced his father to go see someone. They’d had an appointment just two days before and were waiting to hear back. It gave him some measure of comfort, though waiting was tough now, with the promise of some relief just over the next rise. Maybe.
He paused in his driveway. Pulling his phone out to text her.
You around?
He waited a few moments until she replied.
I am. How are you?
There’s a distinct Beth-shaped spot in my life and it’s empty. Wanna fill it?
A pause.
Is this a booty call, Mr. Harris?
He snorted a laugh and Buck barked.
