Love Unrehearsed
Page 86

“I came here to tell you that, ah, Mell. . .” He couldn’t finish. Tears I’d never seen him shed began to pool and it was hard for him to look at me. “Melanie um . . .” His lips quivered and he sputtered, “died this morning.”
Utter shock clapped hard on my chest, pressing down in a painful blast, as the memories of my old high school friend and her cheerful smile and bouncy red hair flowed over me.
Melanie was the third member of Marie’s and my closely knit gang and the only one of us who managed to fully escape the boundaries of Seaport. She had joined the air force after graduation and had traveled to more countries than any of us could have ever imagined. She had settled in Germany for a few years and with time and distance it was hard to keep in touch. But it was because of our friendship that began back in seventh grade that I started my secret crush on her gorgeous older brother.
“What happened?” It was hard to form the words around the burn in my throat.
Thomas was overcome with emotion. Seeing him so distraught like this was hard to take. He was always so overprotective of his little sister, threatening all the boys who came sniffing around after her with certain death if they hurt her. Mell had a magical aura around her that was so infectious you couldn’t help but want to be in her constant company. This magic certainly did a number on a few boys and their precious egos. Back in those days, Thomas had his work cut out for him.
“She um . . .” He struggled to speak. “She got cancer. It spread all over into her lungs and shit. She asked me to um, get word to ya when she was saying goodbye to people.”
Thomas quickly sprang from his seat as the first tear escaped his faltering hold, dripping down over the curve of his cheek. He hurried for the men’s room.
Marie grabbed my arm as I tried to rush past her. “What the hell is going on?”
“He just told me Melanie died this morning.”
Marie’s angered face fell and she gasped, releasing the grip she had on my forearm.
“Oh God, no.”
Wasting no time, I hurried after Thomas, snagging his leather jacket, redirecting him into the empty kitchen. I needed him to tell me what happened.
Before I knew it, Thomas pulled me into his arms, wrapping them around me tightly in a hold of desperate need. His fingers knotted into my shirt. I knew it was killing him to show this much weakness, breaking that im-penetrable façade he wore for all the world to see. Sometimes I think that this was the true reason he broke up with me so many times. I was the only girl who could break past that façade and it scared him to death.
As much as it repulsed me to allow my first love this close to me after how deeply he had devastated me, the need to comfort him wiped my hatred away.
I breathed in his familiar scent of leather and spice and skin, causing thousands of memories to surge into my consciousness.
There were times I would have killed to have his love, to have him show me the tenderness and raw emotion that I knew he was capable of. But he always held back—always kept me at a safe distance. But now, at this moment, all of his guards were down and he was sobbing uncontrollably in my arms.
“It’ll be okay,” I said, even though my silly words were nothing more than a reflexive attempt to console him. Things would never be okay for him, his family, or for any of us who loved Melanie. Death is final.
“I thought she was getting better,” he whispered in a higher-pitched tone of pain.
“Oh, Mell. . .” His fingers clawed into my shirt.
I let him release his pain for a few minutes before whispering, “Tell me what happened.” Thomas rested his forehead on my collar-bone and sniffed. One of his arms released me so he could wipe his eyes, but the other remained firmly locked around my waist. I tried to put some space between us, but as quickly as I tried, he pulled me back to his chest.
“She gasped for fucking air for twelve hours. I’ll never get that sound out of my head. Oh God. Why?” His entire body trembled. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Taryn.
God, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
His lips were awfully close to my neck. I could feel his breath on my skin. “No. It’s not okay. And now it’s too late. It’s all too late. I should have never done what I did to you.” In that moment, I found forgiveness. Life is too short to hold such a monumental grudge.
“What the hell?” Tammy exclaimed when she came through the kitchen door, giving me the evil eye over the top of her sunglasses as she assessed our embrace. “Am I interrupting something?”