Loving Cara
Page 40
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“Well, I’m glad you’re here. I missed you.”
“You’ve been banging Josh King. You haven’t had time to miss me.” She giggles and twists her body, lying flat on her stomach like me, facing me. “So, how is it?”
“How is what?” I ask innocently, and trace the pattern on the bedspread with my fingertip.
“The conversation,” she replies dryly, and rolls her eyes at me. “The sex, Carolina! How is the sex?”
“Fine.”
She narrows her eyes at me and tilts her head to the side. “I will punch you in the neck if you don’t spill it.”
“God, you’re violent.”
“Talk.”
“It’s fine.”
“If it’s ‘fine’ ”—she uses the air quotes with fine—“then it’s not going great.”
“Maybe it’s not all about the sex.”
Jill laughs and shakes her head at me. “I’m sure it’s not all about the sex. But a man doesn’t look like that and not give good dick.”
I giggle hysterically and roll onto my back. “You are so classy.”
“Is it big?”
“Stop talking!” I can’t breathe now, and tears are rolling down my cheeks.
“Is it one of those that has weird coloring, or is it a handsome dick?”
“Stop!” I grip my stomach in my hands and continue to laugh, my abs aching.
“Come on,” she giggles, and flings her pillow at me, then grabs the other one to hug to her. “Spill it.”
“The sex is the best I’ve ever had.” I wipe the tears from under my eyes. “He’s hung, and he knows how to use it. Is that what you wanted to know?”
“Fuck, I hate you.” She buries her face in the pillow and screams.
“No, you don’t.”
“I haven’t gotten laid since Todd,” she mutters into the pillow.
“And we all know Todd is a shitty lay with a tiny dick,” I murmur, and scowl. I hate that man with every fiber of my being. Jill’s ex-husband is a first-class asshole.
“Yeah.” Jill sighs and lifts her head, staring at me with those sad blue eyes.
“What’s wrong, Jilly?” I whisper, but she just shakes her head and lays her cheek on her pillow just as my phone rings in my pocket.
Josh’s name and photo are on the display.
“Hey,” I greet him softly.
“Hey. Jill get here okay?”
“Yeah, we’re at the hotel. She’s staying at the lodge.” I glance over at the clock and frown. “Wow, it’s after midnight. What are you still doing awake?”
“Waiting to hear from you.”
“I’m a grown-up, you know.” I grin at his chuckle in my ear. “You don’t have to wait up for me.”
“It’s late, and I need to make sure you’re okay.”
God, I love the sound of his voice. “I’m fine. I’ll probably just crash here, since it’s so late.”
“That’s a good idea, although this bed is too big and too cold without you.”
Movement on the bed next to mine catches my attention, and Jill is using her hands, making obscene gestures.
I giggle again and slap my hand over my mouth.
“What’s so funny?” Josh asks.
“Jill is being stupid.” I glare at the laughing Jillian.
“Hi, Josh!” she calls.
“Tell her hi,” he says with a smile in his voice.
“He says stop being disgusting.”
“That’s not what he said.” She shakes her head and laughs.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” I murmur.
“Okay. You’re at the lodge?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, sweetheart, have fun with Jill. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He hangs up and I sigh as I set my phone aside and curl up around my pillow.
“You love him,” Jill whispers. My head snaps toward her. She’s lying flat on her back, diagonally across her bed, her hands on her belly, and she’s staring at the ceiling.
I watch her for a long minute, then I sigh.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“Have you told him?”
“No.”
“Why not?” She turns her head and looks me in the eye, watching me.
“It’s really soon.”
“So?” She shrugs and continues to watch me.
“What if he doesn’t say it back?” I whisper, and feel tears fill my eyes. “What if he doesn’t feel the same?”
“Why wouldn’t he feel the same?” Jill turns onto her side, tucks her arm under her head, and continues to watch me.
“I don’t know.” I turn on my back now and stare at the ceiling.
“Why wouldn’t he feel the same, Cara?”
“Because I don’t understand why he’s interested in me in the first place.” There. I said it out loud.
“God, you’re dumb.” Her voice is hard and almost angry.
I whip my head back toward her in surprise. “What?”
“You’re an idiot if you don’t understand why he’s interested in you, Cara. I love you, but you have got to get over your insecurities. The frumpy, frizzy-haired, chubby girl from high school is long gone. Have you seen you lately?”
I frown at her and process what she just said. “But I am still that girl.”
“You’ve been banging Josh King. You haven’t had time to miss me.” She giggles and twists her body, lying flat on her stomach like me, facing me. “So, how is it?”
“How is what?” I ask innocently, and trace the pattern on the bedspread with my fingertip.
“The conversation,” she replies dryly, and rolls her eyes at me. “The sex, Carolina! How is the sex?”
“Fine.”
She narrows her eyes at me and tilts her head to the side. “I will punch you in the neck if you don’t spill it.”
“God, you’re violent.”
“Talk.”
“It’s fine.”
“If it’s ‘fine’ ”—she uses the air quotes with fine—“then it’s not going great.”
“Maybe it’s not all about the sex.”
Jill laughs and shakes her head at me. “I’m sure it’s not all about the sex. But a man doesn’t look like that and not give good dick.”
I giggle hysterically and roll onto my back. “You are so classy.”
“Is it big?”
“Stop talking!” I can’t breathe now, and tears are rolling down my cheeks.
“Is it one of those that has weird coloring, or is it a handsome dick?”
“Stop!” I grip my stomach in my hands and continue to laugh, my abs aching.
“Come on,” she giggles, and flings her pillow at me, then grabs the other one to hug to her. “Spill it.”
“The sex is the best I’ve ever had.” I wipe the tears from under my eyes. “He’s hung, and he knows how to use it. Is that what you wanted to know?”
“Fuck, I hate you.” She buries her face in the pillow and screams.
“No, you don’t.”
“I haven’t gotten laid since Todd,” she mutters into the pillow.
“And we all know Todd is a shitty lay with a tiny dick,” I murmur, and scowl. I hate that man with every fiber of my being. Jill’s ex-husband is a first-class asshole.
“Yeah.” Jill sighs and lifts her head, staring at me with those sad blue eyes.
“What’s wrong, Jilly?” I whisper, but she just shakes her head and lays her cheek on her pillow just as my phone rings in my pocket.
Josh’s name and photo are on the display.
“Hey,” I greet him softly.
“Hey. Jill get here okay?”
“Yeah, we’re at the hotel. She’s staying at the lodge.” I glance over at the clock and frown. “Wow, it’s after midnight. What are you still doing awake?”
“Waiting to hear from you.”
“I’m a grown-up, you know.” I grin at his chuckle in my ear. “You don’t have to wait up for me.”
“It’s late, and I need to make sure you’re okay.”
God, I love the sound of his voice. “I’m fine. I’ll probably just crash here, since it’s so late.”
“That’s a good idea, although this bed is too big and too cold without you.”
Movement on the bed next to mine catches my attention, and Jill is using her hands, making obscene gestures.
I giggle again and slap my hand over my mouth.
“What’s so funny?” Josh asks.
“Jill is being stupid.” I glare at the laughing Jillian.
“Hi, Josh!” she calls.
“Tell her hi,” he says with a smile in his voice.
“He says stop being disgusting.”
“That’s not what he said.” She shakes her head and laughs.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” I murmur.
“Okay. You’re at the lodge?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, sweetheart, have fun with Jill. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He hangs up and I sigh as I set my phone aside and curl up around my pillow.
“You love him,” Jill whispers. My head snaps toward her. She’s lying flat on her back, diagonally across her bed, her hands on her belly, and she’s staring at the ceiling.
I watch her for a long minute, then I sigh.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“Have you told him?”
“No.”
“Why not?” She turns her head and looks me in the eye, watching me.
“It’s really soon.”
“So?” She shrugs and continues to watch me.
“What if he doesn’t say it back?” I whisper, and feel tears fill my eyes. “What if he doesn’t feel the same?”
“Why wouldn’t he feel the same?” Jill turns onto her side, tucks her arm under her head, and continues to watch me.
“I don’t know.” I turn on my back now and stare at the ceiling.
“Why wouldn’t he feel the same, Cara?”
“Because I don’t understand why he’s interested in me in the first place.” There. I said it out loud.
“God, you’re dumb.” Her voice is hard and almost angry.
I whip my head back toward her in surprise. “What?”
“You’re an idiot if you don’t understand why he’s interested in you, Cara. I love you, but you have got to get over your insecurities. The frumpy, frizzy-haired, chubby girl from high school is long gone. Have you seen you lately?”
I frown at her and process what she just said. “But I am still that girl.”
