“Actually…” She looks over my shoulder.
“Hey, Lois,” Cooper shouts. He waits until he’s standing next to me before saying, “I need to hit the showers so I’ll be a few minutes.”
“No problem,” Laney says, and my insides turn to stone.
Cooper pats me on the shoulder before strutting down the tunnel because he’s a dick, and she’s moved on and it’s only been a few weeks, Laney. I stare at her, my chest aching, while she stares down at the ground like her shoes are fascinating. “So you and Coop?” I choke on his name, poison on my tongue.
She looks up, her expression unreadable. Do you even miss me, Laney? “Your ex-girlfriend’s coming. Does she know about Roxy?”
My shoulders tense, and fuck fuck fuck Cooper Kennedy. “Hey, Lois.” Grace spits. “Here to ruin another relationship?”
Lane’s eyes narrow at Grace. “No.” She looks at me. “I’m here for Cooper.”
I’ve never yelled at Lachlan before. I discipline him. Tell him what he’s done wrong. Talk him through it the way I’d seen Mom do with the rest of us. I’ve never shouted at him. Called him names. But I did.
Two minutes ago he spilled his water on the kitchen table during Sunday breakfast, and I called him a shit and told him to go to his room.
The table went silent.
He went to his room.
Now the others are looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. I have. Because this morning I went for my run and turned left at the crossroads. Cooper’s car was in her driveway. I can still feel the cold steel of her chain-link fence I used to hold myself up while I puked.
The twins stand, leave the room.
Logan says, “What the fuck, dude?”
“Go check on your brother,” Dad tells him, his tone stern. And so Logan goes, leaving me with Leo and Dad and a room full of anger and regret.
“Is this about Lane and Cooper?” Leo asks.
“Leo,” Dad warns. At least he’s on my side. He knows what I’m going through.
“No!” Leo thumps his fist on the table, and my gaze snaps to him. “I’m sick of this. You’ve been moping around the house for weeks and it’s bullshit. If you’re pissed, be pissed, but don’t be mad at her for finally seeing the light.”
“Leo.” Dad sighs, shaking his head. “That’s enough.”
But apparently, Leo doesn’t think so. “She’s had to sit around and watch you date girl after girl for three years now. Three years she’s kept her mouth shut, waiting for you to see her, and so she got sick of waiting! So what? She’s too good for you anyway!”
“Why do you keep saying that?” I ask, my back straight, my eyes on his.
“Because she is. You don’t even know half the shit you’ve done to her because you’re fucking blind, Lucas.”
“Watch your language,” Dad snaps.
My jaw ticks. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh yeah?” Leo says, leaning forward, his eyes filled with rage. “When she was fifteen, she went through a jewelry-making phase. You remember that?”
“Yeah. So?”
“You remember when she set up a table at the craft market to sell them?”
Vaguely.
“You don’t remember because you weren’t there. She sold six things that day. One to Dad and one each to the rest of us. Lucy got six items of jewelry that Christmas. And the worst part is that she told you about it, reminded you of it so many times, and you promised her you’d be there. She had two chairs set up behind the table. One for her and one for you but you didn’t show! You were here, in the lake, with Dumb Name and a bunch of girls and you forgot about her. And she probably didn’t tell you how badly you hurt her or that it even happened at all because that’s who she is, and that’s why she’s too good for you.”
I look over at Dad hoping he shows some kind of sign that it isn’t true, that it never happened. He nods, but he won’t look at me. And I feel my heart sinking, anchored to the twisting knot in my gut.
Leo stands, his fists balled. “Suck it up and quit being an asshole to everyone around you.” He leaves out the back door and calls out for the twins, probably making sure I haven’t scarred them, too.
“They’re just friends,” Dad says.
“Leo and Lane?”
He shakes his head. “Lane and Cooper. Brian told me they’re just friends. For now, anyway.”
“I went to see her this morning when I was out on my run,” I admit. “His car was in the driveway.”
“He comes home on weekends now that he’s coaching over at the high school. He doesn’t like Lane walking home from work late on Saturday nights, so he lends her his car. That’s all it is.”
I swallow loudly, but the pain doesn’t fade. “Eat up,” he says. “You got a long day of making it up to Lachlan. The kid worships you, Luke. Don’t give him a reason to change that.”
I force a smile. “Logan’s up there with him. Who knows? Maybe Lachy can have a new brother to look up to.”
“Jesus Christ,” Dad mumbles, rubbing his eyes. “Eat quick.”
LOIS
Cooper doesn’t know I have a door that leads directly to my room. He doesn’t know what my room looks like. He doesn’t even know what the inside of my house looks like. The closest he’s gotten is where he is now, on my doorstep, knocking and waiting for me to answer.
I grab his keys off the coffee table and open the door. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He smiles brightly, his body glistening with sweat from the run over here. His parents’ house is fifteen miles away in a secure, gated community, and for the past three weeks (since he found out I walk home from work at midnight) he’s lent me his car so I don’t have to walk. I tried to decline, numerous times, but he was adamant and I was frustrated, so I agreed. It wasn’t the first time he showed that he genuinely cared about me. Especially considering he understood, without a doubt, that my vagina was pretty much its own secure, gated community.
“Thanks for lending me your car,” I tell him, handing him the keys.
His gaze trails from my messy bed-hair to my flannel pajamas and down to my cotton socks. “Nice to see you got all dressed up for me.”
I shove his shoulder. “Shut up.”
After mocking hurt, he says, “Let me take you out to lunch. I’ll even allow myself to be seen in public with you exactly as you are.”
I let myself smile. “You’re going to regret that.” And I step in the house, slip on my shoes, shout, “Dad, I’m going out for lunch!”
Cooper doesn’t bat an eyelid. “Is your dad home?” he asks, following me to his car.
“Yep.”
“Can I meet him?”
I come to a halt and turn to him. “Why?”
He shrugs.
“It’s not like we’re dating, right?”
He walks past me to open my car door, his smirk on full display. “Yet.”
Cooper ignores the looks from everyone when we walk into the busy Applebee’s. Kids from school are here, probably nursing hangovers from the night before. Families sit, enjoying their meals, and then there’s me, pajamas and sunglasses, and I’m embarrassed for him. “Let’s go.” I yank his arm, begging to leave.
“Hey, Lois,” Cooper shouts. He waits until he’s standing next to me before saying, “I need to hit the showers so I’ll be a few minutes.”
“No problem,” Laney says, and my insides turn to stone.
Cooper pats me on the shoulder before strutting down the tunnel because he’s a dick, and she’s moved on and it’s only been a few weeks, Laney. I stare at her, my chest aching, while she stares down at the ground like her shoes are fascinating. “So you and Coop?” I choke on his name, poison on my tongue.
She looks up, her expression unreadable. Do you even miss me, Laney? “Your ex-girlfriend’s coming. Does she know about Roxy?”
My shoulders tense, and fuck fuck fuck Cooper Kennedy. “Hey, Lois.” Grace spits. “Here to ruin another relationship?”
Lane’s eyes narrow at Grace. “No.” She looks at me. “I’m here for Cooper.”
I’ve never yelled at Lachlan before. I discipline him. Tell him what he’s done wrong. Talk him through it the way I’d seen Mom do with the rest of us. I’ve never shouted at him. Called him names. But I did.
Two minutes ago he spilled his water on the kitchen table during Sunday breakfast, and I called him a shit and told him to go to his room.
The table went silent.
He went to his room.
Now the others are looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. I have. Because this morning I went for my run and turned left at the crossroads. Cooper’s car was in her driveway. I can still feel the cold steel of her chain-link fence I used to hold myself up while I puked.
The twins stand, leave the room.
Logan says, “What the fuck, dude?”
“Go check on your brother,” Dad tells him, his tone stern. And so Logan goes, leaving me with Leo and Dad and a room full of anger and regret.
“Is this about Lane and Cooper?” Leo asks.
“Leo,” Dad warns. At least he’s on my side. He knows what I’m going through.
“No!” Leo thumps his fist on the table, and my gaze snaps to him. “I’m sick of this. You’ve been moping around the house for weeks and it’s bullshit. If you’re pissed, be pissed, but don’t be mad at her for finally seeing the light.”
“Leo.” Dad sighs, shaking his head. “That’s enough.”
But apparently, Leo doesn’t think so. “She’s had to sit around and watch you date girl after girl for three years now. Three years she’s kept her mouth shut, waiting for you to see her, and so she got sick of waiting! So what? She’s too good for you anyway!”
“Why do you keep saying that?” I ask, my back straight, my eyes on his.
“Because she is. You don’t even know half the shit you’ve done to her because you’re fucking blind, Lucas.”
“Watch your language,” Dad snaps.
My jaw ticks. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh yeah?” Leo says, leaning forward, his eyes filled with rage. “When she was fifteen, she went through a jewelry-making phase. You remember that?”
“Yeah. So?”
“You remember when she set up a table at the craft market to sell them?”
Vaguely.
“You don’t remember because you weren’t there. She sold six things that day. One to Dad and one each to the rest of us. Lucy got six items of jewelry that Christmas. And the worst part is that she told you about it, reminded you of it so many times, and you promised her you’d be there. She had two chairs set up behind the table. One for her and one for you but you didn’t show! You were here, in the lake, with Dumb Name and a bunch of girls and you forgot about her. And she probably didn’t tell you how badly you hurt her or that it even happened at all because that’s who she is, and that’s why she’s too good for you.”
I look over at Dad hoping he shows some kind of sign that it isn’t true, that it never happened. He nods, but he won’t look at me. And I feel my heart sinking, anchored to the twisting knot in my gut.
Leo stands, his fists balled. “Suck it up and quit being an asshole to everyone around you.” He leaves out the back door and calls out for the twins, probably making sure I haven’t scarred them, too.
“They’re just friends,” Dad says.
“Leo and Lane?”
He shakes his head. “Lane and Cooper. Brian told me they’re just friends. For now, anyway.”
“I went to see her this morning when I was out on my run,” I admit. “His car was in the driveway.”
“He comes home on weekends now that he’s coaching over at the high school. He doesn’t like Lane walking home from work late on Saturday nights, so he lends her his car. That’s all it is.”
I swallow loudly, but the pain doesn’t fade. “Eat up,” he says. “You got a long day of making it up to Lachlan. The kid worships you, Luke. Don’t give him a reason to change that.”
I force a smile. “Logan’s up there with him. Who knows? Maybe Lachy can have a new brother to look up to.”
“Jesus Christ,” Dad mumbles, rubbing his eyes. “Eat quick.”
LOIS
Cooper doesn’t know I have a door that leads directly to my room. He doesn’t know what my room looks like. He doesn’t even know what the inside of my house looks like. The closest he’s gotten is where he is now, on my doorstep, knocking and waiting for me to answer.
I grab his keys off the coffee table and open the door. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He smiles brightly, his body glistening with sweat from the run over here. His parents’ house is fifteen miles away in a secure, gated community, and for the past three weeks (since he found out I walk home from work at midnight) he’s lent me his car so I don’t have to walk. I tried to decline, numerous times, but he was adamant and I was frustrated, so I agreed. It wasn’t the first time he showed that he genuinely cared about me. Especially considering he understood, without a doubt, that my vagina was pretty much its own secure, gated community.
“Thanks for lending me your car,” I tell him, handing him the keys.
His gaze trails from my messy bed-hair to my flannel pajamas and down to my cotton socks. “Nice to see you got all dressed up for me.”
I shove his shoulder. “Shut up.”
After mocking hurt, he says, “Let me take you out to lunch. I’ll even allow myself to be seen in public with you exactly as you are.”
I let myself smile. “You’re going to regret that.” And I step in the house, slip on my shoes, shout, “Dad, I’m going out for lunch!”
Cooper doesn’t bat an eyelid. “Is your dad home?” he asks, following me to his car.
“Yep.”
“Can I meet him?”
I come to a halt and turn to him. “Why?”
He shrugs.
“It’s not like we’re dating, right?”
He walks past me to open my car door, his smirk on full display. “Yet.”
Cooper ignores the looks from everyone when we walk into the busy Applebee’s. Kids from school are here, probably nursing hangovers from the night before. Families sit, enjoying their meals, and then there’s me, pajamas and sunglasses, and I’m embarrassed for him. “Let’s go.” I yank his arm, begging to leave.
