I try to hide my hurt by looking away because it’s painful to think about Cameron and Lucy and what all they went through. Plus, I’ve never spoken openly about it before. “Remember last summer, when I went to New Jersey? Lucy was there and something happened and I found her bleeding out on the bathroom floor.”
“Oh my God,” Lane whispers.
“They rushed her to the hospital and long story short, she had to have an ovary removed and they told her it’d be difficult for her to get pregnant.”
“That’s so tough for her and Cameron to go through so young.”
“Yeah,” I say. “They separated for a while. It was hard on all of us.”
“They broke up? Why didn’t you say something?”
I shrug. “Because it wasn’t my story to tell and I wasn’t sure if Lucy wanted people knowing, but now you know.”
She pouts. “That’s so sad.”
I inhale deeply, go back to the problem at hand. “What the hell are we going to do about your dad?”
“I don’t know,” she murmurs.
“Lucy said something about loyalty. You think that’s going to come up when your dad makes a decision?”
She shakes her head. “I really wish it would, Luke. But that extra salary alone plus the twenty-five grand, that’s my entire four-year college tuition and that’s all he can think about. He still feels so guilty about it all.”
“I hate your mom,” I say.
“Me too.”
“I should talk to Dad. See what he has to say.”
She nods. “I want to be there when you do it.”
I look back at her, smirk. “You want me to stay with you tonight?”
“See? You already suck at waiting.”
I don’t stay the night. Instead, I go home and I fall asleep sniffing my pillow. Whatever. Felicity was a creep, too.
Chapter Twenty-Six
LOIS
“And I think, ultimately, that’s what true love is, you know? To want to be someone’s hero when they’re faced with villains. To want to be the one who saves them. To be their Wonderwall.”
Lucas’s words replay in my mind, over and over, and I think about the way he looked at me last night, the way his eyes met mine. Is that what he saw? Someone who needs a hero, needs saving? Because Cooper saw me as that, and we confused his need to be those things as love, and I fell for him—hard and fast—and it got me here. And as much as I don’t want to admit it, I’m making the same mistakes again, only this time with Lucas. Lucas—who’s standing a few yards in front of me, his back turned, looking out over the school parking lot. His hair’s in need of a cut and his hands are in his pockets, his triceps on display. He’d changed over the past few months, physically and otherwise. His body had gotten harder, his demeanor the opposite.
I sneak up behind him, kick the back of his shoe and he turns swiftly, his eyes narrowed. Then he smiles. “Sneaky Lane,” he says. “Sneaky Lane does sneaky things with… never mind. I didn’t see your car pull in.”
I joke, “You stalking me, Preston?”
We begin walking together, two of my steps for every one of his. He says, ignoring my comment, “Seriously, where’s your car?”
“In my driveway. I caught the bus.”
“Why? Something happen to it? I can check it out after school if you want.”
“What do you know about cars?”
He laughs. “Not a lot, but knowing you, you probably left your lights on and drained the battery.”
I nudge his side, and he feigns hurt. “There’s nothing wrong with the car,” I tell him as he opens the door to the school for me. “I just feel weird driving it.”
“Why?”
“Because Cooper.”
“Because he got it for you?”
I nod.
“That’s dumb,” he says, and he has no idea.
I stop at my locker and turn to him. “I’m sure I’ll get over it, it’s just…” I don’t know what it is.
“Don’t catch the bus anymore. I’ll pick you up, okay?”
“There’s nothing wrong with the bus.”
“And there’s nothing wrong with my truck, either.”
“Fine.”
“Good!”
We’re twelve years old again.
I open my locker, get my books for first period, and he says, “Did you speak to your dad any more about the whole Cooper thing?”
I close my locker, hold the books to my chest. “Nah. He was gone by the time I got up.”
“I called Dad this morning, said we needed to talk to him. You free after school?”
“Yep.”
“Okay… Well, I’ll see you then.”
“Okay,” I say, but he doesn’t make a move to leave, and his locker’s on the other end of the hall. “I should get to class.”
“Yeah,” he says, but he still doesn’t budge.
“Bye, Luke.”
“Bye, Lane.”
I wait for him to leave and when he doesn’t, I walk around him and toward my class. When I glance over my shoulder, he’s still following me, looking down at my shoes. I stop abruptly, turn to him. “Luke?”
“Yeah?”
I point behind him. “Your locker’s that way.”
After school, in the Preston house, Luke and I wait for his dad in the office. It may not seem like a big deal that we’re in Tom’s office, but it is for me. I’ve walked past the room many a time and sometimes the door’s even been open and I’ve looked inside, but it’s been seven years since I first stepped foot in this house and I’ve never actually been in Tom’s office. It feels so forbidden, so grand, so—“What’s with your face, Lane?”
I side-eye Luke. “I’ve never been in here before,” I whisper, checking the door to make sure Tom isn’t coming. “I feel like I’ve been called to the principal’s office.” I use my jeans to wipe the sweat off my palms. “Doesn’t it feel like that to you?”
Luke shakes his head, looks at me like I’m stupid. “We normally get our punishments in the kitchen or living room so…”
“Wow… yeah… that’s true,” I whisper absentmindedly.
“I was kidding, Lane. What’s going on with you?”
“I don’t know.” I sigh. “I think I’m nervous to tell your dad. What if he ends up hating me? I mean, let’s be real, this is all about Cooper getting back with me.”
“With you or at you?” Lucas says, and now he looks nervous.
Tom enters the room, saving me from responding, and he sits his big frame in his big leather chair behind his big desk and smiles just as big at us. “Hey kids, what’s up?”
I’m about to ruin everything you’ve worked so hard to build, that’s “what’s up.”
“The Kennedys are starting their own construction company in town,” Luke says, as if it’s that simple, as if that’s all there is to the story.
“Oh my God,” Lane whispers.
“They rushed her to the hospital and long story short, she had to have an ovary removed and they told her it’d be difficult for her to get pregnant.”
“That’s so tough for her and Cameron to go through so young.”
“Yeah,” I say. “They separated for a while. It was hard on all of us.”
“They broke up? Why didn’t you say something?”
I shrug. “Because it wasn’t my story to tell and I wasn’t sure if Lucy wanted people knowing, but now you know.”
She pouts. “That’s so sad.”
I inhale deeply, go back to the problem at hand. “What the hell are we going to do about your dad?”
“I don’t know,” she murmurs.
“Lucy said something about loyalty. You think that’s going to come up when your dad makes a decision?”
She shakes her head. “I really wish it would, Luke. But that extra salary alone plus the twenty-five grand, that’s my entire four-year college tuition and that’s all he can think about. He still feels so guilty about it all.”
“I hate your mom,” I say.
“Me too.”
“I should talk to Dad. See what he has to say.”
She nods. “I want to be there when you do it.”
I look back at her, smirk. “You want me to stay with you tonight?”
“See? You already suck at waiting.”
I don’t stay the night. Instead, I go home and I fall asleep sniffing my pillow. Whatever. Felicity was a creep, too.
Chapter Twenty-Six
LOIS
“And I think, ultimately, that’s what true love is, you know? To want to be someone’s hero when they’re faced with villains. To want to be the one who saves them. To be their Wonderwall.”
Lucas’s words replay in my mind, over and over, and I think about the way he looked at me last night, the way his eyes met mine. Is that what he saw? Someone who needs a hero, needs saving? Because Cooper saw me as that, and we confused his need to be those things as love, and I fell for him—hard and fast—and it got me here. And as much as I don’t want to admit it, I’m making the same mistakes again, only this time with Lucas. Lucas—who’s standing a few yards in front of me, his back turned, looking out over the school parking lot. His hair’s in need of a cut and his hands are in his pockets, his triceps on display. He’d changed over the past few months, physically and otherwise. His body had gotten harder, his demeanor the opposite.
I sneak up behind him, kick the back of his shoe and he turns swiftly, his eyes narrowed. Then he smiles. “Sneaky Lane,” he says. “Sneaky Lane does sneaky things with… never mind. I didn’t see your car pull in.”
I joke, “You stalking me, Preston?”
We begin walking together, two of my steps for every one of his. He says, ignoring my comment, “Seriously, where’s your car?”
“In my driveway. I caught the bus.”
“Why? Something happen to it? I can check it out after school if you want.”
“What do you know about cars?”
He laughs. “Not a lot, but knowing you, you probably left your lights on and drained the battery.”
I nudge his side, and he feigns hurt. “There’s nothing wrong with the car,” I tell him as he opens the door to the school for me. “I just feel weird driving it.”
“Why?”
“Because Cooper.”
“Because he got it for you?”
I nod.
“That’s dumb,” he says, and he has no idea.
I stop at my locker and turn to him. “I’m sure I’ll get over it, it’s just…” I don’t know what it is.
“Don’t catch the bus anymore. I’ll pick you up, okay?”
“There’s nothing wrong with the bus.”
“And there’s nothing wrong with my truck, either.”
“Fine.”
“Good!”
We’re twelve years old again.
I open my locker, get my books for first period, and he says, “Did you speak to your dad any more about the whole Cooper thing?”
I close my locker, hold the books to my chest. “Nah. He was gone by the time I got up.”
“I called Dad this morning, said we needed to talk to him. You free after school?”
“Yep.”
“Okay… Well, I’ll see you then.”
“Okay,” I say, but he doesn’t make a move to leave, and his locker’s on the other end of the hall. “I should get to class.”
“Yeah,” he says, but he still doesn’t budge.
“Bye, Luke.”
“Bye, Lane.”
I wait for him to leave and when he doesn’t, I walk around him and toward my class. When I glance over my shoulder, he’s still following me, looking down at my shoes. I stop abruptly, turn to him. “Luke?”
“Yeah?”
I point behind him. “Your locker’s that way.”
After school, in the Preston house, Luke and I wait for his dad in the office. It may not seem like a big deal that we’re in Tom’s office, but it is for me. I’ve walked past the room many a time and sometimes the door’s even been open and I’ve looked inside, but it’s been seven years since I first stepped foot in this house and I’ve never actually been in Tom’s office. It feels so forbidden, so grand, so—“What’s with your face, Lane?”
I side-eye Luke. “I’ve never been in here before,” I whisper, checking the door to make sure Tom isn’t coming. “I feel like I’ve been called to the principal’s office.” I use my jeans to wipe the sweat off my palms. “Doesn’t it feel like that to you?”
Luke shakes his head, looks at me like I’m stupid. “We normally get our punishments in the kitchen or living room so…”
“Wow… yeah… that’s true,” I whisper absentmindedly.
“I was kidding, Lane. What’s going on with you?”
“I don’t know.” I sigh. “I think I’m nervous to tell your dad. What if he ends up hating me? I mean, let’s be real, this is all about Cooper getting back with me.”
“With you or at you?” Lucas says, and now he looks nervous.
Tom enters the room, saving me from responding, and he sits his big frame in his big leather chair behind his big desk and smiles just as big at us. “Hey kids, what’s up?”
I’m about to ruin everything you’ve worked so hard to build, that’s “what’s up.”
“The Kennedys are starting their own construction company in town,” Luke says, as if it’s that simple, as if that’s all there is to the story.
