I shake my head, disbelief washing through me. “I’m so confused right now.”
“Babe.” He settles his hands on my waist, brings me closer to him. “I need you to listen to me.”
I nod.
“If you want to go—if your heart’s set on it, then that’s what you’ll do. And we’ll do it together. I had money saved that Mom left me, and I’ve pretty much saved every cent I’ve earned since I’ve started working. I have enough for your first year and with Vivian’s pull there, you can go.”
“But that’s your money.” I look up, pray my tears won’t fall, and continue to speak in hushed tones. “And what about us?”
“I need to stay here. I need to work so I can start saving for your second year—”
“I don’t want us to be apart, Luke. Is that what you want?”
He sighs. “I’ve already spoken to one of Dad’s business associates. The Warden Group just started a company in Raleigh, and I can work there. It’s a forty-minute drive if we stay at my apartment near campus. I’ll work, you study. But, Lane, we’d have to kick the tenants out, we’d have to cover the mortgage and utilities, and that’s all stuff I don’t have to worry about here.”
“But if you stay here, we won’t be together.” I don’t understand, Lucas.
“I’ll drive down every Friday night. I’ll stay with you on campus all weekend, and I’ll make up for the five nights of no sexing. I promise.”
“You planned all of this without me?”
“I didn’t want you to worry about it.”
Behind me, our families laugh.
I drop my gaze, wipe my eyes.
“Hey,” he whispers, lifts my chin with his finger. “All I want in this entire world is for you to be happy. And this whole college thing—it’s not a decision we have to make right now. You’ve been through so much lately…” He hugs me tight, kisses the top of my head. “Take some time, take a break, a breath, just enjoy life for a while.”
I pull back, look up at him. “If you didn’t want to go to college, then what was your plan?”
He scoots back and spreads his legs. “Come here,” he says, shifting my body so I’m sitting in front of him. We watch our families around the campfire, and he wraps his arms around me, pulls me closer to him. He says, “Even if I made it through college and got some random degree, I still would’ve ended up here, working with my old man, with yours. This is my family’s legacy, Laney, and I’m the first son. It was never pushed on me to take over the business, but it’s what I’ve always wanted.” He kisses my shoulder. “I get to wear the Preston name every day, and I get to wear it with pride. I get to make people happy, give people a place to make moments and memories, and I get to do it all while being close to my family.”
I exhale slowly, taking in everything he’s saying, word for word, and I find myself smiling.
“Look around us,” he says. So I do, I look at my dad, his girlfriend, look and listen to the joy that only the Prestons can bring. I look at the lake, at the house in the distance, at the perfect night sky. A stillness falls, at the same time a weight lifts. I turn in his arms, see the conflict in his eyes. “How do I give this up, Laney?”
“You don’t,” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “But I want us to work. More than anything.”
“Lucas, we don’t give this up.”
He blinks. “What are you saying?”
I pull out of his hold and fish for the letter that’s been burning a hole in my bag. Then I stand up, tug on his hand for him to do the same. “Come on,” I say, leading him to the campfire. Conversation stops when I stand in the middle of the circle, Lucas next to me. I drop the letter in the fire, watch it burn, inch by inch.
“What was that?” Dad asks.
“The scars of my past.”
Epilogue
One Year Later
LUCAS
The baby cries and Laney rocks him in her arms. “It’s okay,” she coos. “Uncle Leo will be back soon.”
Okay, stop!
I just realized how this sounds.
Rewind.
Laney’s little brother cries and she rocks him in her arms.
Much better.
Jesus, people, this isn’t one of Lucy’s romance novels with accidental pregnancies and almost-death drama.
Anyway…
Leo loads up Dad’s truck with the last of his belongings and makes his way over to us. He strokes the baby’s cheek. “I think I’ll miss you the most, Little Preston.”
Preston Brian Sanders was born two days after we celebrated Lachlan’s ninth birthday. When Brian had come to us, asked us if we minded his son being named Preston, we all agreed that it would be an honor. Besides, it’s not like any of us could call our kids Preston besides Lucy. Preston Gordon is fine. Preston Preston? Nope. One day, though, Laney will have to explain to her little brother why her last name is the same as his first name. That day is not today. And it won’t be any day soon. I’m still a couple of years away from making that happen.
Leo goes through the line, one person at a time. First Brian and Misty, who congratulate him, wish him luck, tell him to stay out of trouble.
Then comes Cam and Lucy. After they had graduated a year ago, they moved back into the cabin. Dad recently made Cameron partner (after discussing it with me) and purchased office space above a store, as well as the store below it… a bookstore for Lucy. Her dream.
Cameron’s four years at UNC earned him a degree in Architecture. My four years there, should it have happened, would’ve earned me nothing but wasted time.
Leo gets to Laney, and she hands the baby back to her dad, hugs Leo for way longer than I’m comfortable with. “I’ll miss you,” she says, and I can tell she’s crying.
“I’ll be back,” Leo assures. “And NC State’s only two and a half hours away. You can always come and visit. I expect you to.” So yeah, Leo worked his ass off junior and senior year and got into NC State, and we couldn’t be fucking prouder of him. He killed the odds, and now he’s off to study criminology. Such a badass.
“I’m so proud of you,” Laney sobs.
“It was all those reading sessions in the playground that got me here.”
“Shut up,” she cries, and I hold her, let her cry into my t-shirt because if I don’t, she’ll drown in a sea of her tears.
Leo shakes my hand. “Thanks for everything.”
“I didn’t do anything,” I tell him. “This was all you.”
He shrugs. “You were my role model, Lucas.” He smirks. “My favorite big brother.”
“I bet you say that to all your big brothers.”
Next to me, Logan says, “Does this mean that if I get arrested, you can represent me?”
Leo shakes his head, hugs his little shit of a brother.
“Seriously, though?” Logan asks, pulling back. He dropped out of high school and now I’m his boss. It’s rad. Dad wasn’t surprised when Logan spoke to him about it. He said it was full-time school or full-time work, and if he worked, he had to get his GED. So Logan agreed. He’s actually not that bad. In fact, he and Lane and I are all heading to Cambodia next month for three weeks to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. Dad thought it was a great idea. So great he’s now in contact with the NC division to volunteer some of his staff a couple of days a month. Actually, I should say our staff. Since Dad realized my dedication to the job, he gave me a promotion, a pay rise and a lot more responsibility at Preston, Gordon and Sons.
“Babe.” He settles his hands on my waist, brings me closer to him. “I need you to listen to me.”
I nod.
“If you want to go—if your heart’s set on it, then that’s what you’ll do. And we’ll do it together. I had money saved that Mom left me, and I’ve pretty much saved every cent I’ve earned since I’ve started working. I have enough for your first year and with Vivian’s pull there, you can go.”
“But that’s your money.” I look up, pray my tears won’t fall, and continue to speak in hushed tones. “And what about us?”
“I need to stay here. I need to work so I can start saving for your second year—”
“I don’t want us to be apart, Luke. Is that what you want?”
He sighs. “I’ve already spoken to one of Dad’s business associates. The Warden Group just started a company in Raleigh, and I can work there. It’s a forty-minute drive if we stay at my apartment near campus. I’ll work, you study. But, Lane, we’d have to kick the tenants out, we’d have to cover the mortgage and utilities, and that’s all stuff I don’t have to worry about here.”
“But if you stay here, we won’t be together.” I don’t understand, Lucas.
“I’ll drive down every Friday night. I’ll stay with you on campus all weekend, and I’ll make up for the five nights of no sexing. I promise.”
“You planned all of this without me?”
“I didn’t want you to worry about it.”
Behind me, our families laugh.
I drop my gaze, wipe my eyes.
“Hey,” he whispers, lifts my chin with his finger. “All I want in this entire world is for you to be happy. And this whole college thing—it’s not a decision we have to make right now. You’ve been through so much lately…” He hugs me tight, kisses the top of my head. “Take some time, take a break, a breath, just enjoy life for a while.”
I pull back, look up at him. “If you didn’t want to go to college, then what was your plan?”
He scoots back and spreads his legs. “Come here,” he says, shifting my body so I’m sitting in front of him. We watch our families around the campfire, and he wraps his arms around me, pulls me closer to him. He says, “Even if I made it through college and got some random degree, I still would’ve ended up here, working with my old man, with yours. This is my family’s legacy, Laney, and I’m the first son. It was never pushed on me to take over the business, but it’s what I’ve always wanted.” He kisses my shoulder. “I get to wear the Preston name every day, and I get to wear it with pride. I get to make people happy, give people a place to make moments and memories, and I get to do it all while being close to my family.”
I exhale slowly, taking in everything he’s saying, word for word, and I find myself smiling.
“Look around us,” he says. So I do, I look at my dad, his girlfriend, look and listen to the joy that only the Prestons can bring. I look at the lake, at the house in the distance, at the perfect night sky. A stillness falls, at the same time a weight lifts. I turn in his arms, see the conflict in his eyes. “How do I give this up, Laney?”
“You don’t,” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “But I want us to work. More than anything.”
“Lucas, we don’t give this up.”
He blinks. “What are you saying?”
I pull out of his hold and fish for the letter that’s been burning a hole in my bag. Then I stand up, tug on his hand for him to do the same. “Come on,” I say, leading him to the campfire. Conversation stops when I stand in the middle of the circle, Lucas next to me. I drop the letter in the fire, watch it burn, inch by inch.
“What was that?” Dad asks.
“The scars of my past.”
Epilogue
One Year Later
LUCAS
The baby cries and Laney rocks him in her arms. “It’s okay,” she coos. “Uncle Leo will be back soon.”
Okay, stop!
I just realized how this sounds.
Rewind.
Laney’s little brother cries and she rocks him in her arms.
Much better.
Jesus, people, this isn’t one of Lucy’s romance novels with accidental pregnancies and almost-death drama.
Anyway…
Leo loads up Dad’s truck with the last of his belongings and makes his way over to us. He strokes the baby’s cheek. “I think I’ll miss you the most, Little Preston.”
Preston Brian Sanders was born two days after we celebrated Lachlan’s ninth birthday. When Brian had come to us, asked us if we minded his son being named Preston, we all agreed that it would be an honor. Besides, it’s not like any of us could call our kids Preston besides Lucy. Preston Gordon is fine. Preston Preston? Nope. One day, though, Laney will have to explain to her little brother why her last name is the same as his first name. That day is not today. And it won’t be any day soon. I’m still a couple of years away from making that happen.
Leo goes through the line, one person at a time. First Brian and Misty, who congratulate him, wish him luck, tell him to stay out of trouble.
Then comes Cam and Lucy. After they had graduated a year ago, they moved back into the cabin. Dad recently made Cameron partner (after discussing it with me) and purchased office space above a store, as well as the store below it… a bookstore for Lucy. Her dream.
Cameron’s four years at UNC earned him a degree in Architecture. My four years there, should it have happened, would’ve earned me nothing but wasted time.
Leo gets to Laney, and she hands the baby back to her dad, hugs Leo for way longer than I’m comfortable with. “I’ll miss you,” she says, and I can tell she’s crying.
“I’ll be back,” Leo assures. “And NC State’s only two and a half hours away. You can always come and visit. I expect you to.” So yeah, Leo worked his ass off junior and senior year and got into NC State, and we couldn’t be fucking prouder of him. He killed the odds, and now he’s off to study criminology. Such a badass.
“I’m so proud of you,” Laney sobs.
“It was all those reading sessions in the playground that got me here.”
“Shut up,” she cries, and I hold her, let her cry into my t-shirt because if I don’t, she’ll drown in a sea of her tears.
Leo shakes my hand. “Thanks for everything.”
“I didn’t do anything,” I tell him. “This was all you.”
He shrugs. “You were my role model, Lucas.” He smirks. “My favorite big brother.”
“I bet you say that to all your big brothers.”
Next to me, Logan says, “Does this mean that if I get arrested, you can represent me?”
Leo shakes his head, hugs his little shit of a brother.
“Seriously, though?” Logan asks, pulling back. He dropped out of high school and now I’m his boss. It’s rad. Dad wasn’t surprised when Logan spoke to him about it. He said it was full-time school or full-time work, and if he worked, he had to get his GED. So Logan agreed. He’s actually not that bad. In fact, he and Lane and I are all heading to Cambodia next month for three weeks to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. Dad thought it was a great idea. So great he’s now in contact with the NC division to volunteer some of his staff a couple of days a month. Actually, I should say our staff. Since Dad realized my dedication to the job, he gave me a promotion, a pay rise and a lot more responsibility at Preston, Gordon and Sons.
