“Sara?” Josh. I looked up, blinking at him through prisms. The early morning sun was bright and it was already warm. It was going to be a scorcher. “Sara, are you okay?”
“Fine,” I lied, wiping away tears and snot and make-up with the tail end of my t-shirt. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”
“Hey come on.” He put his back against the wall and sank down next to me. “You can tell me. Wow, what happened to your eye?”
“Dale punched me in the face.” I gave a little laugh. “And that’s been the best part of my day so far.”
“He what?” His muscles tensed.
“It was an accident.” I sniffed, wiping my face again, this time with my hands. “He was trying to hit his sister.”
“What?” Josh kept asking that, like he couldn’t quite believe what I was saying.
“And Ben… the guy who got in touch when he saw me in the paper? He said he was my father. And I… I believed him.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat.
“And all he really wants is money.” I felt the sobs rising again and couldn’t stop them. “What’s wrong with me, Josh?”
He shook his head, looking as confused as I felt.
“Why doesn’t anyone ever want me? For me? What’s wrong with me?”
“Oh Sara.” He put his arm over my shoulder and I leaned into him, letting him comfort me. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing. I promise.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
“What would convince you?” I felt his hand stroking my hair, my shoulder. “You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re an amazing artist. You’re beautiful.”
“You said the last one twice.” I looked up at him, smiling.
“I know.” He turned his head toward me and I realized at that moment how close we were. I went to move away but it was too late. Josh was kissing me, holding me so close it was hard to breath. His lips were thin and strange against mine, foreign, an affront to my sense.
“Josh, no,” I gasped, managing to push him away. “What are you doing?”
“I just thought… you said no one wanted you.” His gaze moved from my face, traveling south. “I want you.”
No. No. this couldn’t be happening.
Dale was right.
“I’m going to…” I swallowed, feeling dizzy, but I stood anyway. “Go. I need to go.”
That was, of course, when Dale showed up in John’s car. I recognized the Taurus as it pulled into the lot and saw Dale behind the wheel. His eyes darkened when he saw who I was with. Josh was on his feet, next to me, standing too close.
“Thanks for letting me cry on you.”
“Any time.” Josh pulled me into a hug, his arms lingering around me even as I tried to free myself. “Are you sure you’re going to be all right?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
Dale was already out of the car. He hadn’t even put a shirt on. He was still barefoot, wearing just a pair of jeans. And his belt. He’d stopped to put on his belt.
“I’ve been driving all over looking for you.” Dale glared at Josh but I’d met him halfway to the car and guided him back toward it. He looked back over his shoulder at Josh. “What the hell is he doing here?”
“He works here, remember?” I looked over and saw Josh going back into the store.
“Right.” Dale’s gaze didn’t leave the store front. “And I’m sure he jumped at the chance to ‘comfort’ you, didn’t he? Did he come on to you?”
Then he looked at me. I think it was the first time he really saw me since he’d blazed into the parking lot. His eyes softened and his brow knitted.
“Did I do that?” He touched my cheek. I winced and so did he. “Oh Sara. I’m so sorry.”
“I know.” I let him pull me into his arms. The comfort I found there was like nothing else. Josh’s arms around me had been nice, but not like this. Dale’s arms around me felt like something clicked into place. We fit together like two puzzle pieces. In so many ways, good and bad, we fit together.
“I wasn’t crying about that.” I touched my cheek and laughed. “I told Josh, that was the highlight of my day so far.”
“You told him?” Dale groaned, gathering me closer. “What do you mean it was the highlight of your day?”
“I’ll tell you in the car.” I didn’t want to be anywhere near this place when I told him. “Come on.”
“What about yours?” Dale asked as he opened the passenger door for me, nodding to my Dodge Dart.
“We’ll come get it later.” I got in, waiting for him to get in too. “Let’s go.”
“Where to?” He put the key in the ignition.
“Just drive.” I leaned back in the seat, closing my eyes. My face was hot and swollen from crying. My heart was shattered into a million pieces, but it was still beating in my chest.
I felt Dale’s hand slipping into mine and opened my eyes, turning my head to look at him.
“You didn’t hit her, did you?”
“My sister?” Dale snorted. “No. I wanted to. But no. Not after you…”
“Good.” I gave a satisfied nod. “It’s what she wants.”
“I know.” Dale squeezed my hand. “You know… the things she said…”
I winced again, and this time it wasn’t because my face hurt. Thinking about what Chrissy had said made me nauseous.
“The thing is. Everything she said. It was about her. Not about you and me.” He took his eyes off the road for a minute to look at me. “You know that, don’t you?”
I shook my head. It still hurt too much to not take it all very literally.
“She’s keeping a huge secret.” Dale sighed, taking a left at the light. “And that’s not easy. I know.”
I knew too.
“And she’s in so much pain. All she wants is for Tyler to acknowledge her. I accepted a long time ago that wasn’t going to happen. But that’s what she really wants.” I looked over and saw his eyes gleaming. Tears? He’d never talked about his sister this way. “So I blamed her for choosing him. You know, Chrissy and I were close, once. Before.”
I didn’t know. The way he talked about her, with so much anger and hatred, I never would have guessed.
“But she chose him.” He shrugged. “Just like my mother.”
“Instead of you,” I whispered. He’d been abandoned not only by his mother but his sister too. And I knew Chrissy was right, in a small way. There were small bits of truth in what she said, wrapped up in anger and pain, sugar coated razor blades. Dale was trying to prove himself.
“That’s how it felt at the time,” he agreed and I actually saw a tear slip down his cheek.
“I’m so sorry.” I wanted to reach over and pull him into my arms, but he was driving—besides, there was something about it, the car moving, both of us facing forward, that made it easier to say these things.
“Is that why I was such a challenge?” I asked. My voice cracked and even as I asked, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. “You wanted me to choose you instead of Tyler?”
Dale was quiet. There was just the sound of the tires on pavement. Houses slipped by us.
“Maybe,” he said finally. “Chrissy has a way of seeing into people like that. And she’s usually right. Maybe, subconsciously, that’s why I chose you.”
“And I chose you because you were like Tyler.”
Dale turned the car into an empty parking lot I recognized, pulling into a spot and putting the car in park. He’d taken us to Iselin Academy, the place we’d first met. Where I’d been swept away by the new guy, the one who looked so much like rock star Tyler Vincent. Where Dale had found a girl so obsessed with the man who had ruined his life, it would be the ultimate triumph to sway her allegiance.
“I’m probably more like him than I want to admit.” He leaned back, thumbs hooked over his belt. “The more I try not to be like him, the more it seems I am…”
“No,” I countered. “You’re not a liar. You haven’t hurt people like he has.”
“Yes, I am.” Dale took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I’m keeping his secret. So is Chrissy. And it’s eating us both alive.”
“So tell,” I urged. “John won’t love you any less.”
“Chrissy’s right.” He looked over at me with a small, sad smile. “I’m selfish. I’m keeping the secret for my own selfish reasons. You know what would happen if it came out that I was Tyler Vincent’s son?”
I nodded. Greg Richer had harped enough about public image for me to understand what it would do to Dale’s career. Even if it wasn’t a scandal, it would mean a lifetime of Dale being compared to his father, which was the last thing in the world he wanted to have happen.
“You were right,” I told him. “You were right about Josh. He tried to kiss me.”
I left out the part about the actual kissing. Dale’s reaction was strong enough to an attempted kiss.
“I knew it!” He pounded his fist on the steering wheel and I sank back in my seat.
“And you were right about Ben,” I choked. “He asked me for money today. Some… I don’t know, computer investment? Made it sound like he was concerned for my future or something, but…”
“Oh Sara.” Dale put his arms around me. “Damnit. I didn’t want to be right about Ben. Or Josh, for that matter. He better keep his damned hands off you.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I rested my cheek against his chest. “I’m going on tour with you.”
“Because of Josh? Because of Ben?”
“Because I love you.” I lifted my head to look into his eyes. “And I know you love me. Chrissy may be right about the things that drew us together in the first place… but that isn’t why we’ve stayed together.”
He kissed me and I knew I would never in my lifetime find another man like the one holding me in his arms. I could let him go and spend the rest of my life searching for someone to fill the void he left. We found each other through our wounds, our sad and broken places. And we were healing each other too. Slowly and with great effort, but it was happening. And maybe that was the real magic of love. We started out two broken people and together, we created something entirely new and whole.
“I’m going to marry you,” he whispered as we parted. “And I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to be the man you see when you look at me.”
“You are him.” I put my head on his chest, tears slipping down my cheeks as I closed my eyes. “You always were.”
We sat quietly and I knew it was no accident that he’d somehow found his way here. By chance or by design, it was meant to be. We were meant to be. It was the one thing—maybe the only thing—I would ever know for certain.
“Fine,” I lied, wiping away tears and snot and make-up with the tail end of my t-shirt. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”
“Hey come on.” He put his back against the wall and sank down next to me. “You can tell me. Wow, what happened to your eye?”
“Dale punched me in the face.” I gave a little laugh. “And that’s been the best part of my day so far.”
“He what?” His muscles tensed.
“It was an accident.” I sniffed, wiping my face again, this time with my hands. “He was trying to hit his sister.”
“What?” Josh kept asking that, like he couldn’t quite believe what I was saying.
“And Ben… the guy who got in touch when he saw me in the paper? He said he was my father. And I… I believed him.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat.
“And all he really wants is money.” I felt the sobs rising again and couldn’t stop them. “What’s wrong with me, Josh?”
He shook his head, looking as confused as I felt.
“Why doesn’t anyone ever want me? For me? What’s wrong with me?”
“Oh Sara.” He put his arm over my shoulder and I leaned into him, letting him comfort me. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing. I promise.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
“What would convince you?” I felt his hand stroking my hair, my shoulder. “You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re an amazing artist. You’re beautiful.”
“You said the last one twice.” I looked up at him, smiling.
“I know.” He turned his head toward me and I realized at that moment how close we were. I went to move away but it was too late. Josh was kissing me, holding me so close it was hard to breath. His lips were thin and strange against mine, foreign, an affront to my sense.
“Josh, no,” I gasped, managing to push him away. “What are you doing?”
“I just thought… you said no one wanted you.” His gaze moved from my face, traveling south. “I want you.”
No. No. this couldn’t be happening.
Dale was right.
“I’m going to…” I swallowed, feeling dizzy, but I stood anyway. “Go. I need to go.”
That was, of course, when Dale showed up in John’s car. I recognized the Taurus as it pulled into the lot and saw Dale behind the wheel. His eyes darkened when he saw who I was with. Josh was on his feet, next to me, standing too close.
“Thanks for letting me cry on you.”
“Any time.” Josh pulled me into a hug, his arms lingering around me even as I tried to free myself. “Are you sure you’re going to be all right?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
Dale was already out of the car. He hadn’t even put a shirt on. He was still barefoot, wearing just a pair of jeans. And his belt. He’d stopped to put on his belt.
“I’ve been driving all over looking for you.” Dale glared at Josh but I’d met him halfway to the car and guided him back toward it. He looked back over his shoulder at Josh. “What the hell is he doing here?”
“He works here, remember?” I looked over and saw Josh going back into the store.
“Right.” Dale’s gaze didn’t leave the store front. “And I’m sure he jumped at the chance to ‘comfort’ you, didn’t he? Did he come on to you?”
Then he looked at me. I think it was the first time he really saw me since he’d blazed into the parking lot. His eyes softened and his brow knitted.
“Did I do that?” He touched my cheek. I winced and so did he. “Oh Sara. I’m so sorry.”
“I know.” I let him pull me into his arms. The comfort I found there was like nothing else. Josh’s arms around me had been nice, but not like this. Dale’s arms around me felt like something clicked into place. We fit together like two puzzle pieces. In so many ways, good and bad, we fit together.
“I wasn’t crying about that.” I touched my cheek and laughed. “I told Josh, that was the highlight of my day so far.”
“You told him?” Dale groaned, gathering me closer. “What do you mean it was the highlight of your day?”
“I’ll tell you in the car.” I didn’t want to be anywhere near this place when I told him. “Come on.”
“What about yours?” Dale asked as he opened the passenger door for me, nodding to my Dodge Dart.
“We’ll come get it later.” I got in, waiting for him to get in too. “Let’s go.”
“Where to?” He put the key in the ignition.
“Just drive.” I leaned back in the seat, closing my eyes. My face was hot and swollen from crying. My heart was shattered into a million pieces, but it was still beating in my chest.
I felt Dale’s hand slipping into mine and opened my eyes, turning my head to look at him.
“You didn’t hit her, did you?”
“My sister?” Dale snorted. “No. I wanted to. But no. Not after you…”
“Good.” I gave a satisfied nod. “It’s what she wants.”
“I know.” Dale squeezed my hand. “You know… the things she said…”
I winced again, and this time it wasn’t because my face hurt. Thinking about what Chrissy had said made me nauseous.
“The thing is. Everything she said. It was about her. Not about you and me.” He took his eyes off the road for a minute to look at me. “You know that, don’t you?”
I shook my head. It still hurt too much to not take it all very literally.
“She’s keeping a huge secret.” Dale sighed, taking a left at the light. “And that’s not easy. I know.”
I knew too.
“And she’s in so much pain. All she wants is for Tyler to acknowledge her. I accepted a long time ago that wasn’t going to happen. But that’s what she really wants.” I looked over and saw his eyes gleaming. Tears? He’d never talked about his sister this way. “So I blamed her for choosing him. You know, Chrissy and I were close, once. Before.”
I didn’t know. The way he talked about her, with so much anger and hatred, I never would have guessed.
“But she chose him.” He shrugged. “Just like my mother.”
“Instead of you,” I whispered. He’d been abandoned not only by his mother but his sister too. And I knew Chrissy was right, in a small way. There were small bits of truth in what she said, wrapped up in anger and pain, sugar coated razor blades. Dale was trying to prove himself.
“That’s how it felt at the time,” he agreed and I actually saw a tear slip down his cheek.
“I’m so sorry.” I wanted to reach over and pull him into my arms, but he was driving—besides, there was something about it, the car moving, both of us facing forward, that made it easier to say these things.
“Is that why I was such a challenge?” I asked. My voice cracked and even as I asked, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. “You wanted me to choose you instead of Tyler?”
Dale was quiet. There was just the sound of the tires on pavement. Houses slipped by us.
“Maybe,” he said finally. “Chrissy has a way of seeing into people like that. And she’s usually right. Maybe, subconsciously, that’s why I chose you.”
“And I chose you because you were like Tyler.”
Dale turned the car into an empty parking lot I recognized, pulling into a spot and putting the car in park. He’d taken us to Iselin Academy, the place we’d first met. Where I’d been swept away by the new guy, the one who looked so much like rock star Tyler Vincent. Where Dale had found a girl so obsessed with the man who had ruined his life, it would be the ultimate triumph to sway her allegiance.
“I’m probably more like him than I want to admit.” He leaned back, thumbs hooked over his belt. “The more I try not to be like him, the more it seems I am…”
“No,” I countered. “You’re not a liar. You haven’t hurt people like he has.”
“Yes, I am.” Dale took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I’m keeping his secret. So is Chrissy. And it’s eating us both alive.”
“So tell,” I urged. “John won’t love you any less.”
“Chrissy’s right.” He looked over at me with a small, sad smile. “I’m selfish. I’m keeping the secret for my own selfish reasons. You know what would happen if it came out that I was Tyler Vincent’s son?”
I nodded. Greg Richer had harped enough about public image for me to understand what it would do to Dale’s career. Even if it wasn’t a scandal, it would mean a lifetime of Dale being compared to his father, which was the last thing in the world he wanted to have happen.
“You were right,” I told him. “You were right about Josh. He tried to kiss me.”
I left out the part about the actual kissing. Dale’s reaction was strong enough to an attempted kiss.
“I knew it!” He pounded his fist on the steering wheel and I sank back in my seat.
“And you were right about Ben,” I choked. “He asked me for money today. Some… I don’t know, computer investment? Made it sound like he was concerned for my future or something, but…”
“Oh Sara.” Dale put his arms around me. “Damnit. I didn’t want to be right about Ben. Or Josh, for that matter. He better keep his damned hands off you.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I rested my cheek against his chest. “I’m going on tour with you.”
“Because of Josh? Because of Ben?”
“Because I love you.” I lifted my head to look into his eyes. “And I know you love me. Chrissy may be right about the things that drew us together in the first place… but that isn’t why we’ve stayed together.”
He kissed me and I knew I would never in my lifetime find another man like the one holding me in his arms. I could let him go and spend the rest of my life searching for someone to fill the void he left. We found each other through our wounds, our sad and broken places. And we were healing each other too. Slowly and with great effort, but it was happening. And maybe that was the real magic of love. We started out two broken people and together, we created something entirely new and whole.
“I’m going to marry you,” he whispered as we parted. “And I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to be the man you see when you look at me.”
“You are him.” I put my head on his chest, tears slipping down my cheeks as I closed my eyes. “You always were.”
We sat quietly and I knew it was no accident that he’d somehow found his way here. By chance or by design, it was meant to be. We were meant to be. It was the one thing—maybe the only thing—I would ever know for certain.
