Lure of Oblivion
Page 77
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Sadly, the time alone didn’t relax her. She found herself pacing up and down in her room, fists clenching and unclenching. When her door opened, she halted and turned to face Zander as he stalked inside and locked it behind him. His eyes raked over her and heated. Her body automatically reacted—knowing that look and knowing what it meant.
Every step fluid and silent, Zander crossed the room to her. He didn’t try to pull her to him as he usually did. His hand gently smoothed her bangs aside, and he studied every inch of her face, searching. “You’ve been quiet. At first, I assumed you were worrying about the Moores. But looking at you now, it’s clear you’re pissed about something. Tell me. I’ll fix it.”
Her phone rang. If she hadn’t been so tense, she might have jumped. Grabbing it from the bed, she frowned when she saw it was Kenny. Hesitantly, she answered. “Hello?”
“I heard you changed your mind about doing me that favor, Gwen . . . or did you never intend to do it?” Strangely, Kenny didn’t sound upset or angry. He sounded relatively amused. But then, it wasn’t as if the situation affected him personally.
“I never intended to do it.” Yeah, she was hoping to piss him off. It didn’t work.
He chuckled. “That devious streak is another thing you got from me.”
“I wasn’t being devious. I was being smart. You wanted me to do the smart thing, right?”
“I did,” he said, a smile in his voice. “But it wasn’t entirely smart. Not when it means you’ll now have the Moore family on your ass.” He sighed. “I’ll give them a call. Warn them to stay away from you. But I can’t guarantee they will. Unlike you, Ezra Moore doesn’t appear to be smart at all.”
“I can handle him.”
“I’ll bet you can, since you have the protection of shifters. Do you think that’s wise? They’re not known for being loyal to anyone outside whatever group they live in.”
“They’ve protected me so far.”
“Yes, it would seem they have,” he mused. “Just be careful. I’d rather not have to wipe out an entire pack of wolves, but I won’t hesitate to do so if they harm you.” He ended the call before she could respond to that.
With a curse, Gwen tossed the phone on the bed. “I’m guessing you heard that conversation clearly enough.”
“Maybe his warning will be enough to make Ezra back off for a while.”
She snorted. “Even if Ezra was willing, Moira and Brandt wouldn’t be. The moment Brandt’s released by the council, he’ll be demanding that someone make me pay. And if they don’t do something, he will. In other words, something will happen.”
Zander sighed. “Sadly, I can’t disagree with you. Was this what was bothering you? Were you anticipating a call from Kenny?”
No.” Gwen literally blurted out the question. “Why didn’t you tell me you think I’m your true mate?”
He stiffened. “Who told you that?”
“According to Andie, it’s pretty obvious.” And if it was obvious to the cougar, Gwen had to wonder if it was just as obvious to the other shifters. If that were true, it would be both embarrassing and hurtful to think they’d all possessed that knowledge and she’d been oblivious.
“Before we talk about this, you have to promise me something.” His gaze pinned hers. “Promise me that you won’t walk out of this room, that you’ll stay here until we’ve talked it all out.” Zander still wasn’t certain that she was ready to hear this yet. Nonetheless, part of him was glad that they could lay it all out finally. He was pissed that she’d heard it from someone else, though. Still, it was his own fault.
“Just tell me,” she clipped.
“Promise me.”
She unlocked her back teeth. “Fine. I promise. Now, why didn’t you want to tell me?”
“I did want to tell you. You have no idea how much. No idea how hard it was to keep it from you. But you’ve got enough going on—I didn’t want to pile something else on you. I had no idea which way this would go, whether you’d be pleased or freaked. I wasn’t sure you were secure enough in our relationship to handle it. I won’t take it well if you reject the bond, Gwen, and I didn’t want tension between us at a time when you needed me here for you.”
Gwen inwardly cursed. She was hurt that he’d kept it from her, wanted to be mad at him, but that response was impossible to be mad at. “How long have you believed we’re mates?”
“Since the night that Rory attacked you.” His wolf growled as he recalled what happened. “Do you remember I told you that my wolf was guarded around you at first?”
She nodded.
“You know he’s not anymore. What you don’t know is why he acted that way in the first place. It was Ally who worked it out. My wolf is . . . damaged, I guess you could say. The people who were important to him let him down. I can relate to that, and I think you can too.”
She inclined her head.
“So, it stands to reason that he’d be wary of anything or anyone that had the potential to wound him that badly again. I didn’t think of that. But once I did, once I put it all together, everything became perfectly clear. Like a veil had been lifted.”
“You really think I’m your mate?” she asked. He shook his head, and her stomach dropped.
“I know you are.” He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Think about how fascinated you’ve always been by shifters. Hell, you were even obsessed with wolves.”
“I wouldn’t say obsessed.”
“Some part of you knew where you belonged. It all adds up. And if that isn’t convincing enough for you, ask yourself this: How would it feel if I walked away from you? I know how it would feel, Gwen, because it would be the same for me if you sent me away. That’s not a normal kind of hurt, is it?”
Considering her chest felt like it was on fire at just the idea, no it wasn’t normal. “I know you said that it’s not so easy to sense the bond. I know that. But we let our guard down with each other. Hell, I even committed to joining your pack, yet we haven’t sensed anything.”
“It’s not just about mental walls, Gwen. So many things can block the frequency.”
“Like fears and secrets,” she remembered. “You know I fear happiness like a weirdo, and you know about Geena and that I’m an informant for The Movement. I don’t have any other secrets.”
Every step fluid and silent, Zander crossed the room to her. He didn’t try to pull her to him as he usually did. His hand gently smoothed her bangs aside, and he studied every inch of her face, searching. “You’ve been quiet. At first, I assumed you were worrying about the Moores. But looking at you now, it’s clear you’re pissed about something. Tell me. I’ll fix it.”
Her phone rang. If she hadn’t been so tense, she might have jumped. Grabbing it from the bed, she frowned when she saw it was Kenny. Hesitantly, she answered. “Hello?”
“I heard you changed your mind about doing me that favor, Gwen . . . or did you never intend to do it?” Strangely, Kenny didn’t sound upset or angry. He sounded relatively amused. But then, it wasn’t as if the situation affected him personally.
“I never intended to do it.” Yeah, she was hoping to piss him off. It didn’t work.
He chuckled. “That devious streak is another thing you got from me.”
“I wasn’t being devious. I was being smart. You wanted me to do the smart thing, right?”
“I did,” he said, a smile in his voice. “But it wasn’t entirely smart. Not when it means you’ll now have the Moore family on your ass.” He sighed. “I’ll give them a call. Warn them to stay away from you. But I can’t guarantee they will. Unlike you, Ezra Moore doesn’t appear to be smart at all.”
“I can handle him.”
“I’ll bet you can, since you have the protection of shifters. Do you think that’s wise? They’re not known for being loyal to anyone outside whatever group they live in.”
“They’ve protected me so far.”
“Yes, it would seem they have,” he mused. “Just be careful. I’d rather not have to wipe out an entire pack of wolves, but I won’t hesitate to do so if they harm you.” He ended the call before she could respond to that.
With a curse, Gwen tossed the phone on the bed. “I’m guessing you heard that conversation clearly enough.”
“Maybe his warning will be enough to make Ezra back off for a while.”
She snorted. “Even if Ezra was willing, Moira and Brandt wouldn’t be. The moment Brandt’s released by the council, he’ll be demanding that someone make me pay. And if they don’t do something, he will. In other words, something will happen.”
Zander sighed. “Sadly, I can’t disagree with you. Was this what was bothering you? Were you anticipating a call from Kenny?”
No.” Gwen literally blurted out the question. “Why didn’t you tell me you think I’m your true mate?”
He stiffened. “Who told you that?”
“According to Andie, it’s pretty obvious.” And if it was obvious to the cougar, Gwen had to wonder if it was just as obvious to the other shifters. If that were true, it would be both embarrassing and hurtful to think they’d all possessed that knowledge and she’d been oblivious.
“Before we talk about this, you have to promise me something.” His gaze pinned hers. “Promise me that you won’t walk out of this room, that you’ll stay here until we’ve talked it all out.” Zander still wasn’t certain that she was ready to hear this yet. Nonetheless, part of him was glad that they could lay it all out finally. He was pissed that she’d heard it from someone else, though. Still, it was his own fault.
“Just tell me,” she clipped.
“Promise me.”
She unlocked her back teeth. “Fine. I promise. Now, why didn’t you want to tell me?”
“I did want to tell you. You have no idea how much. No idea how hard it was to keep it from you. But you’ve got enough going on—I didn’t want to pile something else on you. I had no idea which way this would go, whether you’d be pleased or freaked. I wasn’t sure you were secure enough in our relationship to handle it. I won’t take it well if you reject the bond, Gwen, and I didn’t want tension between us at a time when you needed me here for you.”
Gwen inwardly cursed. She was hurt that he’d kept it from her, wanted to be mad at him, but that response was impossible to be mad at. “How long have you believed we’re mates?”
“Since the night that Rory attacked you.” His wolf growled as he recalled what happened. “Do you remember I told you that my wolf was guarded around you at first?”
She nodded.
“You know he’s not anymore. What you don’t know is why he acted that way in the first place. It was Ally who worked it out. My wolf is . . . damaged, I guess you could say. The people who were important to him let him down. I can relate to that, and I think you can too.”
She inclined her head.
“So, it stands to reason that he’d be wary of anything or anyone that had the potential to wound him that badly again. I didn’t think of that. But once I did, once I put it all together, everything became perfectly clear. Like a veil had been lifted.”
“You really think I’m your mate?” she asked. He shook his head, and her stomach dropped.
“I know you are.” He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Think about how fascinated you’ve always been by shifters. Hell, you were even obsessed with wolves.”
“I wouldn’t say obsessed.”
“Some part of you knew where you belonged. It all adds up. And if that isn’t convincing enough for you, ask yourself this: How would it feel if I walked away from you? I know how it would feel, Gwen, because it would be the same for me if you sent me away. That’s not a normal kind of hurt, is it?”
Considering her chest felt like it was on fire at just the idea, no it wasn’t normal. “I know you said that it’s not so easy to sense the bond. I know that. But we let our guard down with each other. Hell, I even committed to joining your pack, yet we haven’t sensed anything.”
“It’s not just about mental walls, Gwen. So many things can block the frequency.”
“Like fears and secrets,” she remembered. “You know I fear happiness like a weirdo, and you know about Geena and that I’m an informant for The Movement. I don’t have any other secrets.”