Me and My Shadow
Page 24

A giggling pink-frilled whirlwind, that is. One named Sally, who appeared to be accompanied by two nearly naked bodybuilders.
She stopped next to me, air-kissing the spaces about four inches from either side of my face. “You look simply scrumptious in that black leather waist cincher. It’s amazing what that can do for your figure, isn’t it? Magoth, my dear boy, is that your curse, or are you just happy to see me?” Having dealt with the niceties, Sally squealed her way over to Magoth and stroked a hand down his bare chest. “Still so yummy, even though a bath would probably be the best thing right now. Is that mouse droppings in your hair? Oooh. Kinky.”
Magoth simpered at her. I kept my eye rolling to merely a desire, and greeted her politely. “Hello, Sally. I wondered what happened to you, since we haven’t seen you in a few months. It looks like you’ve taken up coaching Chippendales dancers.”
The nearest wrath demon flexed its zebra-striped thong at me.
“You mean Vincenzo and Gunter? Aren’t they the most scrumptious things you’ve ever seen?” Sally blew them a kiss.
“Er . . . they’re definitely something,” I said, avoiding eye contact with them.
“Sugar, jealousy just doesn’t look good on you. I’ll send them away, since you know how much I value our friendship. Well, that and they’re naughty little boys who don’t like it when Mumsy pays attention to other men.” She kissed Magoth’s ear and made an elaborate gesture in the air. The two nearly naked demons disappeared.
“I wonder how I’d look in a thong,” Jim said thoughtfully, squinting at the spot in which the two demons had been standing.
“Ridiculous,”I told it before turning to Sally.“You look hale and hearty. I take it you’re still apprenticing?”
“Gracious, no!” She looked crestfallen for a moment. “You didn’t get the invitation for the ceremony? Hell-fire! I knew I should have gone with Crane and Co. to do my announcements rather than having one of the minions handcraft paper from Yankee money. I’m sorry about that, May. It was a beautiful ceremony, truly moving when Bael sacrificed an entire legion to mark the occasion of my ascension to the throne. You would have loved it.”
Somehow, I doubted that. Still, my eyes widened at the thought of Sally ruling Abaddon. “You took the throne?”
“You little backstabber,” Magoth told her fondly, using the arm he had around her waist to give her a squeeze. “You used my banishment to forward your own cause. What a superbly self-serving thing to do.”
She bit his chin. “I knew you’d approve.”
“So long as it wasn’t my seat, yes.”
“To answer your question, May, I took over the seat left vacant by that demon lord who is now all dragonny,” she said, giggling a little as Magoth goosed her. “You know her, don’t you? I’d appreciate it if you could give her a piece of my mind. She’s absolutely ruined all of my minions. You wouldn’t believe the lax attitudes they have, not to mention a flat-out refusal to do anything truly evil. I mean, seriously, what’s the use of having minions if they won’t go forth and spread debauchery, depravity, and suffering in your name?”
“Shocking,” Magoth murmured, both hands on her butt now.
I said simply, “What a disappointment that must be to you. I will be sure to pass along your complaint to Aisling.”
“I’m sure she’ll be heartbroken,” Jim said, snickering just a little.
Sally, who had been whispering and giggling to Magoth, suddenly froze, her head snapping around to pierce Jim with a look that had the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. “Who dares to speak to me without permission? What is your name, demon?”
“This is Jim,” I said quickly as Jim backed up until it was pressed against my legs. “It’s Aisling’s demon, actually, although it’s out on loan to me.”
“It is impertinent,” Sally said, and with a negligent hand drew a symbol in the air.
“Hey, all I said—” Jim disappeared, just flat-out disappeared.
Fury roared to life within me. “What did you do?” I almost yelled, stomping forward toward her.
She had the gall to look surprised. “Why, banished it to the Akasha, of course. I know you’re not a demon lord, May, but really, your time here in Abaddon should have taught you that the only way to maintain control is to never allow impertinence in minions. It can only lead to worse things, like insubordination and outright mutiny.”
“She’s right,” Magoth said, nodding. “I prefer torture, myself, since it entertains and is a good demonstration for other demons, but the idea is sound.”
“Bring it back,” I said, my voice a low growl that I didn’t recognize.
“Don’t be silly—it’s just a sixth-class demon,” Sally said, dismissing my concern to turn her head and nuzzle Magoth’s filthy neck. She plucked a fern from behind his ear and proceeded to tickle his penis with it.
I slid a glance toward Bael. He was leaning back in his chair, watching me with an anticipatory light in his eyes.
“Bring. It. Back,” I said again, my body elongating and shifting into that of a silver-covered dragon. I drew back my lips, sending fire through my clenched teeth.
Sally’s eyes widened as I took a step toward her, sending fire to the very tips of her sparkly pink plastic shoes. “May! This is how you thank me?”
Magoth shoved Sally aside, his arms held wide as he welcomed me. “May! My own sweet, scaly May! You want to play? Right here? Right now? In front of Bael? I question your sense of timing, and yet, I am strangely excited by the thought. Let’s go for it. Give me a piece of that sweet tail!”
The air cracked. A large whump followed as Magoth hit the far wall of the room, sliding down the wood paneling with a squeak of flesh against highly polished wood.
Sally watched him for a moment before turning back to me, her eyes thoughtful, her lips pursed. “I see.”
“Do you?” I walked toward her, slowly, little compression tremors shaking the ground as I did so. “Do you, really?”
“Perhaps I was a little hasty in banishing your servant,” she said quickly, backing up a couple of steps. “I don’t want there to be bad feelings between us, sugar. What if I bring the demon back? Would that make you happy again?”