‘You’re going to say there are rides specially for handicapped people next, aren’t you?’
‘They accommodate everyone. Why don’t you try Florida, Miss Clark? If you don’t like it you could go on to SeaWorld. And the weather is lovely.’
‘In Will versus killer whale I think I know who would come off worst.’
He didn’t seem to hear me. ‘And they are one of the top-rated companies for dealing with disability. You know they do a lot of Make-A-Wish Foundation stuff for people who are dying?’
‘He is not dying.’ I put the phone down on the travel agent just as Will came in. I fumbled with the receiver, trying to set it back in its cradle, and snapped my notepad shut.
‘Everything all right, Clark?’
‘Fine.’ I smiled brightly.
‘Good. Got a nice frock?’
‘What?’
‘What are you doing on Saturday?’
He was waiting expectantly. My brain was still stalled on killer whale versus travel agent.
‘Um … nothing. Patrick’s away all day training. Why?’
He waited just a few seconds before he said it, as if it actually gave him some pleasure to surprise me.
‘We’re going to a wedding.’
Afterwards, I was never entirely sure why Will changed his mind about Alicia and Rupert’s nuptials. I suspected there was probably a large dose of natural contrariness in his decision – nobody expected him to go, probably least of all Alicia and Rupert themselves. Perhaps it was about finally getting closure. But I think in the last couple of months she had lost the power to wound him.
We decided we could manage without Nathan’s help. I called up to make sure the marquee was suitable for Will’s wheelchair, and Alicia sounded so flustered when she realized we weren’t actually declining the invitation that it dawned on me her embossed correspondence really had been for appearance’s sake.
‘Um … well … there is a very small step up into the marquee, but I suppose the people who are putting it up did say they could provide a ramp … ’ She tailed off.
‘That will be lovely, then. Thank you,’ I said. ‘We’ll see you on the day.’
We went online and picked out a wedding present. Will spent £120 on a silver picture frame, and a vase that he said was ‘absolutely vile’ for another £60. I was shocked that he would spend that much money on someone he didn’t even really like, but I had worked out within weeks of being employed by the Traynors that they had different ideas about money. They wrote four-figure cheques without giving it a thought. I had seen Will’s bank statement once, when it had been left on the kitchen table for him to look at. It contained enough money to buy our house twice over – and that was only his current account.
I decided to wear my red dress – partly because I knew Will liked it (and I figured today he was going to need all the minor boosts he could get) – but also because I didn’t actually have any other dresses which I felt brave enough to wear at such a gathering. Will had no idea of the fear I felt at the thought of going to a society wedding, let alone as ‘the help’. Every time I thought of the braying voices, the assessing glances in our direction, I wanted to spend the day watching Patrick run in circles instead. Perhaps it was shallow of me to even care, but I couldn’t help it. The thought of those guests looking down on both of us was already tying my stomach in knots.
I didn’t say anything to Will, but I was afraid for him. Going to the wedding of an ex seemed a masochistic act at the best of times, but to go to a public gathering, one that would be full of his old friends and work colleagues, to watch her marry his former friend, seemed to me a sure-fire route to depression. I tried to suggest as much the day before we left, but he brushed it off.
‘If I’m not worried about it, Clark, I don’t think you should be,’ he said.
I rang Treena and told her.
‘Check his wheelchair for anthrax and ammunition,’ was all she said.
‘It’s the first time I’ve got him a proper distance from home and it’s going to be a bloody disaster.’
‘Maybe he just wants to remind himself that there are worse things than dying?’
‘Funny.’
Her mind was only half on our phone call. She was preparing for a week’s residential course for ‘potential future business leaders’, and needed Mum and me to look after Thomas. It was going to be fantastic, she said. Some of the top names in industry would be there. Her tutor had put her forward and she was the only person on the whole course who didn’t have to pay her own fees. I could tell that, as she spoke to me, she was also doing something on a computer. I could hear her fingers on the keyboard.
‘Nice for you,’ I said.
‘It’s in some college at Oxford. Not even the ex-poly. The actual “dreaming spires” Oxford.’
‘Great.’
She paused for a moment. ‘He’s not suicidal, is he?’
‘Will? No more than usual.’
‘Well, that’s something.’ I heard the ping of an email.
‘I’d better go, Treen.’
‘Okay. Have fun. Oh, and don’t wear that red dress. It shows way too much cle**age.’
The morning of the wedding dawned bright and balmy, as I had secretly known it would. Girls like Alicia always got their own way. Someone had probably put in a good word with the weather gods.
‘They accommodate everyone. Why don’t you try Florida, Miss Clark? If you don’t like it you could go on to SeaWorld. And the weather is lovely.’
‘In Will versus killer whale I think I know who would come off worst.’
He didn’t seem to hear me. ‘And they are one of the top-rated companies for dealing with disability. You know they do a lot of Make-A-Wish Foundation stuff for people who are dying?’
‘He is not dying.’ I put the phone down on the travel agent just as Will came in. I fumbled with the receiver, trying to set it back in its cradle, and snapped my notepad shut.
‘Everything all right, Clark?’
‘Fine.’ I smiled brightly.
‘Good. Got a nice frock?’
‘What?’
‘What are you doing on Saturday?’
He was waiting expectantly. My brain was still stalled on killer whale versus travel agent.
‘Um … nothing. Patrick’s away all day training. Why?’
He waited just a few seconds before he said it, as if it actually gave him some pleasure to surprise me.
‘We’re going to a wedding.’
Afterwards, I was never entirely sure why Will changed his mind about Alicia and Rupert’s nuptials. I suspected there was probably a large dose of natural contrariness in his decision – nobody expected him to go, probably least of all Alicia and Rupert themselves. Perhaps it was about finally getting closure. But I think in the last couple of months she had lost the power to wound him.
We decided we could manage without Nathan’s help. I called up to make sure the marquee was suitable for Will’s wheelchair, and Alicia sounded so flustered when she realized we weren’t actually declining the invitation that it dawned on me her embossed correspondence really had been for appearance’s sake.
‘Um … well … there is a very small step up into the marquee, but I suppose the people who are putting it up did say they could provide a ramp … ’ She tailed off.
‘That will be lovely, then. Thank you,’ I said. ‘We’ll see you on the day.’
We went online and picked out a wedding present. Will spent £120 on a silver picture frame, and a vase that he said was ‘absolutely vile’ for another £60. I was shocked that he would spend that much money on someone he didn’t even really like, but I had worked out within weeks of being employed by the Traynors that they had different ideas about money. They wrote four-figure cheques without giving it a thought. I had seen Will’s bank statement once, when it had been left on the kitchen table for him to look at. It contained enough money to buy our house twice over – and that was only his current account.
I decided to wear my red dress – partly because I knew Will liked it (and I figured today he was going to need all the minor boosts he could get) – but also because I didn’t actually have any other dresses which I felt brave enough to wear at such a gathering. Will had no idea of the fear I felt at the thought of going to a society wedding, let alone as ‘the help’. Every time I thought of the braying voices, the assessing glances in our direction, I wanted to spend the day watching Patrick run in circles instead. Perhaps it was shallow of me to even care, but I couldn’t help it. The thought of those guests looking down on both of us was already tying my stomach in knots.
I didn’t say anything to Will, but I was afraid for him. Going to the wedding of an ex seemed a masochistic act at the best of times, but to go to a public gathering, one that would be full of his old friends and work colleagues, to watch her marry his former friend, seemed to me a sure-fire route to depression. I tried to suggest as much the day before we left, but he brushed it off.
‘If I’m not worried about it, Clark, I don’t think you should be,’ he said.
I rang Treena and told her.
‘Check his wheelchair for anthrax and ammunition,’ was all she said.
‘It’s the first time I’ve got him a proper distance from home and it’s going to be a bloody disaster.’
‘Maybe he just wants to remind himself that there are worse things than dying?’
‘Funny.’
Her mind was only half on our phone call. She was preparing for a week’s residential course for ‘potential future business leaders’, and needed Mum and me to look after Thomas. It was going to be fantastic, she said. Some of the top names in industry would be there. Her tutor had put her forward and she was the only person on the whole course who didn’t have to pay her own fees. I could tell that, as she spoke to me, she was also doing something on a computer. I could hear her fingers on the keyboard.
‘Nice for you,’ I said.
‘It’s in some college at Oxford. Not even the ex-poly. The actual “dreaming spires” Oxford.’
‘Great.’
She paused for a moment. ‘He’s not suicidal, is he?’
‘Will? No more than usual.’
‘Well, that’s something.’ I heard the ping of an email.
‘I’d better go, Treen.’
‘Okay. Have fun. Oh, and don’t wear that red dress. It shows way too much cle**age.’
The morning of the wedding dawned bright and balmy, as I had secretly known it would. Girls like Alicia always got their own way. Someone had probably put in a good word with the weather gods.
